AN- ladies and ladies, I present thee with dialogue; and plot; and more Addictward.

Shout out to 1Bedward for being my first review, I shall name my bitch's first born puppy after you (this is not slang I have a female pug who is pregnant)

Thank you for being kind!

Chapter-2 Why me?

Alice was looking at me like I had just sprouted nipples on my forehead.

"Could you please not look at me like that?" I requested.

Alice blinked her eyes twice and shook her head, "No! I mean YES! Yes of course but wait wait… say that again, one more time please, I don't think I heard you right." She sputtered.

Sigh, "Yes you did Alice; I said that I am a sex addict."

"That's a thing? A real thing? Wait," she proceeded to press a button on the telephone on her desk.

'Good Morning Alice! How may I help you today' said the voice of Rosalie Hale who is Alice's Secretary and my Sister-In-law ,now that I think about, the fact that my brother is married to her is the only reason why I never tried to sleep with Rosalie, that and the fact that she hates me and probably wants to murder me in my sleep… long story.

"Hey Rose! Is Sex Addiction a real thing?" Blunt, Alice is blunt.

'Excuse me?!' asked Rose.

"Sex addiction! Is it a real thing?!" Alice repeated.

Oh dear god…

'Oh for fuck's sake Alice if you want to have a romp with Jasper midday, then just go and do it, don't try to justify your horniness with psychological issues!' Yeah… that's Rose alright.

"What! No! Not me! It's Edward who is claiming to be a sex addict!" Alice shrieked.

"ALICE! DISCRETION! HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF IT?!" I yelled.

"What…" She shrugged.

'Oh my god is that asshole trying to sleep with you? Do you want me to kick his ass?' Rose chimed in.

"Rosalie I am not trying to sleep with anyone! You people are ridiculous! Yes, Sex addiction is a real thing GOOGLE IT!" It's no wonder I have issues, I choose to surround myself with these crazy people.

"Okay Edward, calm down. I'm sorry… but you can't just spring things like that on people and then expect them to not react." Said Alice "So, you are a Sex Addict… Great… I mean NOT GREAT but at least you're not doing meth." She reasoned.

"I'm glad you see the silver lining here Alice" I said dryly.

'So what is it? Are you addicted to internet porn? Did you blow all your trust fund money on hookers? Why are you telling this to Alice? Did you jack off too much and your dick fell off?' Rosalie asked.

"No!" I winced "What kind of person do you take me to be Rose?"

'I think you're an asshole' Rosalie replied easily, Alice grimaced.

"Okay… that was a rhetorical question but never mind that, I'm telling this to Alice because I'm getting help, I have started seeing a therapist… and Dr. Banner thinks that recovery will be easier if I have the support of the people I love and care about…" I admitted.

'Wow… this got mushy and I lost interest in it… get well soon nympho!' She disconnected. And that is the extent of the love and support I'm ever gonna get from Rosalie.

"Don't mind her Edward; her heart is in the right place…" Said Alice.

"That is, if she has a heart" I replied snidely.

"Edward, I'm glad that you came to me with this… And of course I support you! All of us will! But Edward… I mean I knew that you slept around a bit in college but I never realized it was that big a problem." Alice said.

"I slept with everyone barring you, the accapella girls and the girls from the cookery club." I said… I'm ashamed of myself.
"What about the Chastity girls, who were saving themselves for marriage?" Asked Alice.

"I removed their promise rings with my teeth…" I'm very ashamed of myself.

"Edward there was twenty girls in that group." Alice eyes seemed on the verge of popping out of her skull.

"Everyone" I admitted in a small voice.

"Wow…" Alice breathed and then there was awkward silence

"I don't have any STDs" I offered.

"Thank god you said that, I was wondering how to ask!" Sighed Alice.

"Well that's that, I'm gonna go now and don't forget that you need to find me that ghost writer… I hate typing; I start working on the novel in a week. So, please sort me out." I said walking towards the door.

"Yeah you got it… Hey Edward? Just out of curiosity… Why didn't you ever try to sleep with me?" She asked.

Oh Alice…

"Because I didn't want Jasper to kill me," I smiled as I winked at Alice to which she smiled in return and got back to typing something in her computer "And because I don't have a pixie fetish" I completed when I was well away from her office.

AN- So yes, be kind and leave me review, tell me how you people like my take on our favorite characters.