Some day somebody else besides me will
Call me by my stage name, they will
Call me dr worm.
Good morning how are you, I'm dr worm
I'm interested in things.
I'm not a real doctor,
But I am a real worm;
I am an actual worm.
I live like a worm.
-"Dr Worm" They Might Be Giants
XxxX
After two weeks Naruto was starting to settle in. At work all he had been doing was paperwork and graphing. He was just itching to get out into the field, but he knew he had to wait. This was his dream job and he didn't get there by being impatient. He got there by barely restraining his impatience, he was a pretty energetic guy after all, he couldn't be expected to sit in one place for too long.
He liked his colleagues well enough though. Lee was obnoxious and way too intense about everything even when it was nothing, but he was the go to guy for anything chemistry related. He mostly analyzed and recorded water and rock chemical samples. It may sound boring but if you asked him he would make it out to be literally the most exciting this on the surface of the planet. Apparently, he had been raised my a man equally as intense so it couldn't altogether be blamed on him just being weird in general, there were environmental factors to keep in mind as well. Frankly, Naruto wasn't sure if the man who raised the weirdo should be thanked for his service or beaten to death for the monster he had created.
Sai was the most unnerving one, he didn't seem to know how to act around people and was therefor quite tactless, but he knew how to work all of their software and was the expert in all things involving charts. It was very hard to tell if he was being serious at times. Naruto often wondered if he was a robot or some sort of alien trying to mimic a human but failing. Seriously, he was like a creature wearing a human suit, an erie smile sewn into the face to make him seem less threatening. Creepy. It would not surprise him if one day they all came in to work and found that Sai had been secretly murdering people and storing their bodies on the building grounds, then opened his arms to the sky to be taken back into the void of space by his true alien brethren. Well, on second thought, maybe he would be a little surprised by that, but who wouldn't be?
Naruto could never have a solid conversation with Hinata, every time he tried to talk to her he face turned bright red and she fidget with her hands until she ran way. She was their biologist, plant, animal, and everything in between. She seemed like a sweet girl, she just needed more confidence when it came to dealing with other people. Naurto could probably afford to lose some if his confidence so at one point he had considered offering her an injection of his confidence on the condition that she could invent a way for such a transfer of confidence to he possible. Then he realized how weird it would sound if they left his mouth and he thought better of it. Of all his new coworkers, she was probably the one he liked most as a person. She was smart and he could respect her.
Gaara coordinated anything and everything they did with other departments as well as doing a lot of the boring desk work. His facial expression never seemed to deviate from it's stone cold serious state. He worked hard and pushed the others to word hard for him. He was an effective boss, although rather distant always being away in his office or out doing something important, but maybe that was for the best.
Naruto was the rock formation and minerals guy, but he had been stuck with all this paperwork, so he hadn't seen much of that around. That was a real shame. He knew that Gaara was purposely giving him the boring work and was therefore determined that he would not storm into his office and demand field work. Although, he had considered in many, many times.
After what seemed like far, far too long Gaara finally approached him about some actual field work. He wanted Naruto to go spelunking down one of the more unexplored entrances in order to extend the map and to take some mineral samples. This was exactly what he had been waiting for; a chance to prove himself and gain his employer's trust. Gaara would, of course, be going with him to oversee his work. A little annoying but it was always best to go spelunking with a partner anyway. The last thing anyone wanted was to be trapped far below the earth's surface squished between two rocks or with two broken legs, or worse. A lot could go wrong with only one person.
When the designated day came to go out, the two of them got up and headed out very early that day, driving down to the entrance. They had to hike about fifteen minutes to get there in all of their safety gear. They had lighted hard hats, thick fleece jumpers for the drop in temperature they would experience along with the dampness. They wore gloves and carried a small amount of supplies along with an emergency communication device. Ah, safety measures. They were always nice in hindsight, but with normal sight they always seemed like a tedious waste of time. It was just that tendency to think that whatever happened, you, the main character of your life, would be completely fine.
The entrance itself was nothing special. It was an oval shaped opening about one foot by ten inches (thirty centimeters by twenty five), only just big enough to get a person through. Naruto felt a thrill as they approached it. A small, cool wind breathed out of the hole. The air pressure must be dropping, he thought. When the air pressure dropped, the higher pressure inside the cave came whistling out. It was more noticeable in caves with only a few small entrances like this one. If the air pressure was dropping maybe it was going to start raining again, it always seemed to be raining. That was kind of spring's thing. April showers bring May flowers, and Mayflowers bring pilgrims.
Fucking pilgrims. Pilgrims and Thanksgiving and depressing stories about the native Americans you don't tell little kids until after they've been blasted with the typical American patriotism because 'merica is da best. No depressing history there, not at all. But, hey, every country had its darker moments. Why do the natives always seem to get the short end of the stick? It was likely that Native Americans had been the first inside the caves, which did make a lot of sense, seeing as they were there first. Every so often in the tunnels someone would find a picture carved into the stone if the wall. The ones in this cave where still in fair condition, not too contaminated by grubby little human hands. Naruto knew that in some places where such old art existed in caves the marks had been almost completely rubbed away had that was very sad to think about.
Gaara did not wait for the blond to take in the glory that was this cave entrance, he just started to crawl into the cave head first. Naruto followed, the tunnel down was steep and narrow, the rock closed in all around him, leaving limited room to turn around if he had ever wanted to, which he did not. They reached a flat plane where the cavern opened up just enough to stand. Gaara gave him an approving nod as he crawled in behind him. They walked slowly through the dark expanse of tunnels as they echoed with eerily loud foot steps. Every time Naruto went spelunking he felt like he was inside the stomach of the earth, walking through it like some kind of bacteria or virus. He enjoyed the idea of being a little germ in mother nature's belly. He wasn't sure what that might mean metaphorically but he would rather not discuss it with a psychiatrist because the thought seemed potentially weird when picked apart. Probably something about wanting to be back in his mothers womb or something gross like that, especially because he had no mother currently. Just to clarity, that was not something that he wanted.
He imagined that being in a womb now it would just have to be his disembodied head that his mother gave birth to. She couldn't just give birth to a fully grown human male after all, that would be absurd. The amount of stretching the stomach and birth canal would be subjected to would just be too much. Giving birth to a full human head would still be horrifying and painful but not quite so impossible. Still... Pretty disturbing.
The cave was truly beautiful. Along the way they stacked rocks to mark their way as they drew out a new map, taking samples every now and then along the way. They were carful to touch as little of the cave surface as humanly possible. Despite their gloves they wore to protect the cave against the oils of human skin contamination the cave environment was delicate and as little impact they could put on it the better. They climbed through jagged rocks and around sharp bends. At one point they had to walk through an underground stream.
Naruto always liked underground streams, they were like the Earth's veins. The water trickled through the rock, carving new tunnels in the limestone. This stream was not particularly large, only about a foot across at the most. Naruto wished that he could turn himself into a tiny microorganism and float down that stream, to see where it would take him. Up to the surface or down down down into the ground.
Streams could get extremely dangerous when rain came around. Suddenly that little stream could become a gushing current and pull you down as you tried to cross it. Naruto had been spelunking once where they had to cross a heavy flowing stream after mistiming their little adventure. He had been a teenager on a tour group at the time. Everyone made it across fine, but it was a slightly terrifying experience all the same and it was never fun to be soaked while crawling through dirt.
Despite the slight trauma, Naruto could only remember once having a nightmare involving caves. He had been eighteen at the time and there were not obvious trigger like watching something scary before bed or anything, it was just a stupid nightmare but he still remembered it clearly enough.
He was in a cave and the cavern was large enough that he could stand without having to worry about hitting his head. He was looking at something on the wall of the cave when he felt this creeping fear come over him and he somehow knew there was something else there with him. It wasn't human and it wasn't animal, he wasn't sure what it was because he never saw it but he could feel it there. Immediately, he stopped whatever he had been doing and started to run away from the thing he could not see. Away from it's gnarled skin and reflective eyes. Away from it's gleaming teeth and lipless face. He was too afraid to look back, terrified of what he might see. He just kept running as the tunnel gradually began to get small and the thing started to gain on him. He was crawling on his stomach, through the cave when it finally caught him and started dragging him back at a speed that shouldn't have been possible. He had screamed but the sound was choked. Too afraid to open his eyes, his dream supplied an over head view on the thing eating him whole, though he couldn't focus on the creature. And then the dream had moved on to less traumatizing things.
It was actually one of the very few nightmares that the blond ever remembered having, he was blessed with fitful sleep most nights. He didn't let the dream get to him, obviously, or else he wouldn't be there crawling though this cave with his boss.
They squeezed through tiny pathways and through caverns of great size.
After about six hours they turned around and began the journey back. They only had a day's worth of supplies with them. They went through the whole path all over again. Naruto loved every second of it, this was what he lived for. It was dirty and uncomfortable at times but he loved it all the same. When they crawled out of the cave it was dark outside, although that was light compared to where they had just been.
They hiked back to their cars and before leaving Gaara turned to the new geologist. "You did well today, Uzumaki," he nodded.
Naruto grinned in reply, completely forgetting to tell him to call him Naruto and not by just his last name.
They soon parted ways and Naruto returned home happy and exhausted. That was the best way to return home, he felt very accomplished.
Gaara let him go on more field missions over the next few weeks, it was hard work but it was good, challenging, and Naruto felt he was starting to earn his boss's trust because the red head started letting him go out on his own. Life was good.
XxxX
Naruto sat in the office inspecting the new cave map Sai had drawn up when he noticed that one of the entrances had no mapping on it. There were only three natural entrances to the cave and one that had been mined out and was open to the public as a touring area. It wasn't as if he hadn't noticed it before but every time he had seen it he had forgotten to ask about it either because he was busy with something else or because he had a bad memory and just forgot. Now was his time to ask, he didn't have anything pressing to do right now. Thus, Naruto turned to Hinata, who was working on something on the computer.
"Hey, Hinata," he called to her.
She jolted at her name and her eyes quickly shot up to meet his, then drifted away shyly. She was so skittish. "Yes?" she asked quietly, biting her lip and fiddling with her sleeve.
"Why has this entrance never been mapped?" He pointed to the spot of interest.
"Ah, well that portion had been cut off due to a cave in, but we can't get to the entrance because-" she was cut off by Rock Lee.
"That entrance lies on the Uchiha land, so we can't touch it without permission and they never let us near it," he harrumphed.
Naruto glared at him, irritated that he had cut Hinata off, she was far less irritating that he was. "Who are the Uchihas?" he asked.
"A rich family who like to look down in us little folks. The only one left now is their son now, but we still can't get him to let us see it," Sai chipped in.
"Why not?" Why would anyone prevent exploration and knowledge? Unless they were an asshole, this guy was probably an asshole.
Sai shook his head, "They've always been secluded and cryptic, never came out unless they had to and never let people over. Not an especially friendly group."
Naruto scowled, "Can't the parks just make them for the sake of science and preservation or something."
Lee shook his head. "They donate a very generous amount to the national park service and pull strings at the top."
Naruto huffed in irritation. Of course they did, what was he expecting? What kind of people did that? "So, where is it? The entrance, I mean."
"Why, you going to go sneak into the cave and explore for yourself?" Sai chuckled.
"No, I'm going to convince the owner to let me," Naruto said in determination. He was going to get this guy to let him see it if it was the last thing he ever did, for science sake.
Lee laughed at that. "Good luck with that, Sasuke isn't the kind of guy who will let you push him around." Naruto assumed that he was only saying that because at one point he hand tried and failed to be let on the land. This guy must be tough to refuse Lee, that guy was crazy determined when it came to this stuff.
"That doesn't mean I can't try. I will explore those caves, believe it!" He slammed his fist on the table to show his resolve. Hinata jumped at the sudden noise.
Sai gave him the address of the Uchiha residence, it was actually just down the road from where Naruto lived but he had assumed there had been nothing out there before, probably because other than that place there was nothing else. After work Naruto headed out to meet this Sasuke Uchiha, he was expecting a no from him, but he still had to try. What kind of person would he be if he didn't at least put in an effort? He couldn't deal with this kind of thing, it wasn't something he could just let go.
When he pulled up the driveway he was expecting a big house but this house looked both big and old than huge and fancy. It looked like more of a series of connected houses all painted white, ivy growing up the sides and mossy slate roofing. It was located on the back edge of a hill, even more set back in the woods than Naruto was. He hastily parked his car and headed toward the door. It was just as old looking as the rest of the house, although there was an obviously newly installed doorbell beside it. He was sort if disappointed that he didn't have to use that old knocker that hung there. In the center of the knocker there was an image that Sai had said was the Uchiha family crest, although Naruto thought it looked more like a Pingpong paddled. He wondered if the Uchihas thought it was just as dumb as he did. Oh well, he pressed the doorbell and heard the sound echo through the house then nothing. For a moment he thought that no one would come but then he heard a lock click and the door slid halfway open.
Behind the door there was a tall man with long dark hair and reflective coal black eyes. When he opened the door his expression was hard and drawn. He was slightly taller than Naruto but they looked to be about the same age.
"Unless you're here to deliver something I suggest you leave," he said menacingly. He didn't wait for a reply, seeing as Naruto was not a delivery boy, and began to shut the door. Then he paused, his eyes stopping for a moment on Naruto's face. After a moments hesitation he reopened the door to it's previous halfway open state. "What do you want?" he asked suspiciously.
Naruto blinked, having expected the door to be slammed in his face. "I'm a geologist-"
"You want access to the cave. You must be new. So, I'll tell you what I've told all the others; no." His lips twitched up in a cold smile.
Naruto scowled. "I'm not expecting you to change your mind because of a new face, but I want to know why won't allow access to it? What harm could it possibly do?" asked Naruto in exasperation.
"I don't want a bunch if people crawling around under my house. Is that too much to ask?" he said simply.
"Well, can I at least see it? I promise I won't crawl into it." He tried not to whine but he only mostly succeeded.
Sasuke stared at him for a long time, his eyes narrowed and calculating. Naruto wondered what he could be thinking but he had no idea.
"What's your name?" he finally asked.
"Naruto Uzumaki."
"And I suppose you already know my name."
Naruto nodded, "Sasuke Uchiha."
"Well, Naruto Uzumaki, I suppose... letting you see the entrance couldn't possibly harm anything. Wait one moment." He shut the door leaving Naruto shocked, he hadn't really expected to get anywhere. This was fucking awesome.
Sasuke returned with boots on and stepped out onto the porch. He was very pale in the full light of the day, he looked like he didn't get out nearly enough sunlight. Milky white like a vampire, maybe that's why he didn't go outside. Naruto made sure to keep a close eye out for burning skin or sparkling under the sun but saw nothing. Eh, what good were vampires anyway? Nothing, that's what. They're a bunch of weird people leaches... Not that they actually existed, rather just in theory they were horribly annoying.
"So-" Naruto started as they walked down a path into the woods.
"Don't talk to me." He was cut off.
"You just want to walk in uncomfortable silence?" Naruto scoffed, "How far away is it anyway?"
"About ten minutes." he said simply.
"What-"
"I told you not to talk to me," Sasuke repeated.
"I can't help it, I have to fill the silence somehow or I'll explode," Naruto informed him.
"I don't care. If you explode then I won't have to show you the cave."
Naruto made a face at him. "Ugh, is this why you stay shut up in your house, because you're so bad with people?"
"Yes, it usually makes people leave me alone."
"Well, too bad for you I'm a talker and I want to talk to you, so deal with it."
"I will not deal with it, I will ignore you," he protested.
"That is a way of dealing with it," Naruto informed him pointedly.
Sasuke looked slightly irritated, "You should be more polite to the person who is going against years upon years of family history and showing you the cave entrance."
Naruto crossed his arms across his chest. "Maybe you should be more polite to me because my presence has inexplicably and momentarily changed you into a good person for showing me these caves."
Sasuke glanced at him warily. "I don't think I like being a good person."
"Don't say that, being a good person is great. So, why wouldn't your family let people see the cave?" He changed the subject.
Sasuke shrugged, "How should I know."
"What do you mean?"
He looked surprised for a moment like he was shocked that Naruto didn't know. "They all died when I was little."
"Oh, I'm sorry," Naruto mumbled. They had said that he was the last Uchiha. "My mom's dead, I never knew my dad. Tragic pasts, am I right?" He gave a slightly sad smile.
"Hn," Sasuke replied.
"That's not a real response to anything anything anyone asks; unless they're asking what should to show that I really don't care about anything anyone says? I was trying to sympathize with you, there's no need to be all 'I don't give a shit about anything you say' about it."
Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "I didn't realize that was an emotion I could portray."
"You've been portraying it since I got here, you're starting to hurt my feelings," the blond pouted.
"Well, then a good thing my general mood is 'I don't give a shit about anything you say' or I might feel bad."
"You should feel bad anyway, I'm a human being with possibly dead parents too. If anyone could sympathize I would be me," Naruto pointed out.
"I don't need to be sympathized with," Sasuke said with irritation.
"Well, my mom died in child birth, having me, and no one wanted to take care of me after that, so if you're anywhere on that range of tragic then I can understand."
"I'm not," Sasuke assured.
Naruto eyed him irritably. "Man, I bet your past is really tragic and I'll never understand the pain you feel, am I right?"
Sasuke shrugged.
"That's not something you can just shrug to, it was a serious question, bastard."
He shrugged again.
Naruto made an irritated sound, "Okay, I get it. You don't want to talk about it, I'll change the subject. What do you do for a living? Obviously, you already know what I do."
"If rather not disclose that information to a near stranger," Sasuke sniffed.
"What?! What the hell would I do with that information? How would I use your occupation against you?"
"I'd just rather not tell you what it is. If you so choose, I'm sure you could find out on your own."
"Maybe I will. And then I'll find a way to use it against you, just because you wouldn't tell me."
"Good luck with that."
"Oh, don't worry. I have all the luck in the world.
The entrance was slightly wider than the other one Naruto had gone into, he could still the air flowing lazily out. He kneeled next to it and gazed into the darkness. The slope downward seemed less steep than the other entrance had been. All he wanted to go was crawl inside and explore it's dark depths but he had promised that he would not do that, unfortunately.
He turned to his sullen faced guide. "Are you sure you won't let us crawl around in there?" he asked hopefully.
"No."
"I swear we won't mess anything up," the geologist promised.
"I don't like the idea of people crawling around under my house," he repeated stubbornly.
Naruto sighed, "And there's nothing that can change your mind?"
"No," Sasuke said plainly as he motioned for Naruto to stand and walk back with him.
The blond fought off the urge to jump into the hole and crawl away like a worm into the ground. That might be a little weird and also embarrassing.
"I can see you are a stubborn man," Naruto commented as they walked away from the cave mouth. "I can respect that, but if you could give in just this once I would be very grateful."
"No," Sasuke glared at him.
"Not even for this beautiful face?" Naruto gave a bright smile.
"Nope," Sasuke shook his head.
"Damn, and I really thought that would work. My face is resistible after all."
"I think you meant irresistible, but what you said was more correct."
"What did I say?" Naruto asked, confused.
"Resistible"
"Oops."
"It sounded like a Freudian slip to me."
"Yeah, well what did Freud know anyway? He was wrong about a bunch if weird stuff," Naruto huffed.
"True, but I believe that deep down you understood that I wasn't going to let you into the cave and you had already accepted it. Therefore there is no need for us still to be talking."
"I have not accepted your denial. I will get into those caves, even if I have to tunnel my way down like a mole."
"Through solid rock?"
"Shut up, I would have some heavy machinery with me and I would be fine."
"Great, a mole person living under my feet, that's just one more thing I have to worry about," Sasuke rolled his eyes.
Naruto felt rather proud that he had forced such an absurd sentence from him like that. It was rather rewarding.
They walked back to the house and Sasuke still tried refuse to humor him with any idle conversation but wasn't entirely successful. They stopped just in front of the house, Naruto turned to give some form of goodbye or maybe to yell at him a little bit for not letting him in the cave, he didn't know, but he was stopped when he noticed that Sasuke was giving him the same strange look he had before.
"What?" the blond asked, shifting uncomfortably. It was a different sort of look than he usually got, although he wasn't quite sure how.
"You may come back," the Uchiha finally said, his face held confidence but he words were hesitant, "I will allow you to do some sampling or surveys or whatever it is that you do as long as you don't go crawling around down into there. Don't bring anyone else either, I don't want people I don't know waltzing around on my property."
"Are you serious?" Naruto asked incredulously.
He nodded very seriously.
"When can I do the surveys?" he asked, beginning to get excited.
"I'm usually here, but I will give you my cell phone number, you will let me know before you pay me a visit. I will email your boss to tell him that you are allowed to come." That last statement made Naruto feel like a little kid being babysat but he was too excited to be upset by it.
"Here," Naruto handed over his cellphone while Sasuke added in his number. He was too shocked to form any sort it witty response to this situation.
Sasuke handed back the phone when he was done. Naruto grinned at him. "So, I guess my face is irresistible then?"
Sasuke gave him an annoyed look, muttered a short goodbye and slunk back into his home. Naruto stared after him for a moment but he then he shook his head slightly and walked back to his car. One very brief car ride later he was home, thinking about feeding his fat, little toads and Sasuke Uchiha. What a strange fucking day. Oh, well, operation view the cave was a success and operation infiltration looked like it would show promise.
XxxX
A/N: Saying Uchiha land sound like it's an Indian reservation or something. But the Uchiha sigil does look like a Pingpong paddle, am I right?
Hinata is the anime character I'm probably most like, minus the having a massive crush on someone. Being awkward isn't fun.
Tumblr: opens-up-4-nobody
Thanks.
