Where Earth and Sky Meet
Chapter 1: Living with the Pain
"Alexis...?"
She woke with a sudden jolt, her hands pulling inward as she sat up at her desk in the Autobot's base on the earth, papers flying into her lap as she did so. Remanents of a vivid dream floated at the back of her mind, flickering and fading like a brilliant firework fading against the night sky. Behind her, Optimus Prime had touched her shoulder, the warm metal of his finger pulling away as she jerked awake.
"I'm awake! I just..." Her voice faded as she saw her desk, her papers strewn about. She knew she had fallen asleep again and sighed heavily. "...I guess I just needed a nap..." she said, turning to look up at the Autobot Leader. A sheepish smile crossed her face, scrunching up the imprints of the keyboard on her desk that were on her cheek. Optimus, even with the faceplate in front of his face as always, looked sad, even grave.
"Alexis...you've been acting strange for two weeks now...are you alright? You seem to not be getting the required amount of rest lately." He asked quietly, watching her expression. He had knelt down previously to wake her, and was still in that position. He watched as Alexis' eyes darted to one side, then nod her head. Her sea-green eyes looked back at Optimus, and she knew she couldn't lie to him. She had confided in him once before, years ago, about the pain she had felt all those years ago. She hung her head, looking down at her hands as she grabbed the papers in her lap gently and placed them on her desk where they belonged.
"...Just...haven't been sleeping well. ...Bad dreams, I guess." She said, turning around in her chair to completely face him, her eyes glancing at the door to the main control room where her desk was. Optimus had noticed she had been on edge, more withdrawn, and far more tired than she had been before. Only twice had she been like this in the time he had known her; right after Starscream's death, and three years later when a family member of hers had died, triggering the memories of Starscream's death. But with that resurfacing came the realization of exactly how she felt back then when she was twelve. He wondered if she was facing something again that might have to do with him. He tilted his head, noticing she wasn't wearing her necklace today.
"You're not wearing your pendant..." He said even softer, glancing at the doorway as well. As long as it was just the two of them, they could talk in peace. Alexis glanced down and sighed softly.
"I left it at home. I just...I've been trying to let go, Optimus. I can't. That pendant...represents something that I can never have, never see again, never hope for again..." She said, closing her eyes, feeling the sting of the tears that began to threaten her eyes. She had figured that wearing the pendant was what was giving her the dreams that she had been having lately, therefore she decided to stop wearing it. Optimus gave a sad, mechanical-sounding sigh.
"Alexis...one thing I have learned from my time on earth is that you humans have a very large capacity for hope, trust and faith. To give up that faith is to give up what makes you human, Alexis. I do not think Starscream would have wanted you to give up." The leader in front of her said, speaking gently as he always did, his words always thought through and wise. Alexis frowned and looked away.
"Faith? Faith in what? He's not coming back, Optimus. If he was he would have done so already. Unicron killed him, you were witness to that yourself, remember?" She said, her voice turning cold. Optimus was hitting the nerve that had kept her up at all hours of the night lately, the same nerve that cause strange, realistic dreams to come to her over and over lately. "What am I supposed to have faith in when he is quite literally nothing but space dust now?"
Optimus couldn't help but chuckle softly, earning a very cold glower from the human girl in front of him. He reached out and placed a finger on her shoulder, the best he could do instead of trying to place his hand on her shoulder. "Alexis, does your race not believe that the deceased live on after death?"
His words stopped her heart in her chest. She stared into his gold optics, blinking for a moment.
"Well...yes...but what does that have to do with Starscream? He's of your race, not ours." She said, trying to be stubborn as always. No matter what happened in her life, her strength and weakness was her stubbornness.
"Maybe not, but he has what you humans call a soul, does he not? Do I not?"
Alexis raised an eyebrow. "Well...but that's your spark, isn't it?" She asked, growing confused. Optimus shook his blue-armored head.
"Not quite. The spark in us is much like your physical heart. It powers us, keeps us running. But it also houses who we are. Your energy...your soul, rather, is kept in your entire body, flowing throughout you. It makes you who you are. Where does your energy go when your physical body dies?" He asked, watching Alexis' expressions. Confusion, and what he swore was the beginning of the return of hope, clouded her face. Alexis said nothing, so he continued. "It doesn't just dissipate. Energy must transfer somewhere, or become a part of something else. And because our sparks are pure energy, it is much easier for our 'soul' to transfer elsewhere." He said softly, seeing the emotion welling in her eyes. Alexis stared at him, her twin pools of blue-green eyes shining with small tears that were still threatening.
"Are you saying...he could truly be alive somewhere?" She whispered, one hand coming up to clasp her pendant, suddenly remembering she wasn't wearing it. Optimus grinned behind his faceplate and chuckled.
"His energy is around somewhere, I am sure of it, Alexis. Consider how I was brought back by the Minicons." He said, removing his hand. Alexis gasped softly, her eyes showing the shock and hope that maybe, just maybe...he really was out there. Maybe...her dreams WERE real after all. She looked at him, a thought suddenly coming to mind.
"Optimus…why didn't you say any of this earlier? Like back when he died? Or back when I came to you the first time?" She asked curiously. Optimus always knew when to say things and what to say. And often he held information until the time was right. Perhaps if he had said something back then, she wouldn't have lost hope to begin with. Optimus smiled; she could tell by how the metal around his optics shifted upwards slightly.
"I wished to let you believe in him as you normally would. I wanted to let you grieve in your own way, and not interfere with the way you handled anything." He explained calmly, watching her. "When you came to me that day after the funeral of your mother, I wanted to tell you then, but I didn't want to add unnecessary burdens to your already overloaded mind. You were going through a lot then, Alexis. Would you have wanted that extra knowledge then with everything you were going through?" He asked, his words ringing true. Alexis sighed, looking back down. He was right. Him telling her all this back then would have only confused her even more, possibly brought more pain than needed. She smiled softly and looked up at the Autobot Leader. "Besides, I knew there would come a time when you would need these very words to help you through a time when you might lose faith." He said softly, adding in proof that he had the wisdom of ages to know what she was going to go through.
"You're right, Optimus. Thankyou." She said, clasping her hands together down in front of her as she stood. "You've always had words of kindness, no matter what the situation." She said, smiling. She was about to say something more when Carlos rounded the corner.
"Yo, Alexis! I finally found you!" He gasped, his hands on his knees as he caught his breath. "Rad was lookin' for ya, he wanted to know if you wanted to go out to the lake with us and a few of the 'bots!" Carlos was more well-built now, not as lanky as he was eleven years ago. His hair was still slightly floofy and his eyes were still the same dark brown as they were when they were kids. He had taken to working out, so his muscles were a bit more toned. He and Rad made it a habit three times a week to go to the gym and have little competitions about who could do more bench presses, lift more, run more on the treadmill. It kept them going and in shape for anything that might happen. Alexis laughed when she saw her friend out of breath.
"You know you could have used the comm system to contact me, right?" She asked, grinning. Carlos straightened up and his cheeks went red, his face looking flustered.
"Aww, come on, gimme a break! At least it was good exercise!" He shot back defensively. Alexis giggled, then laughed. Optimus joined in the laughter, Carlos crossing his arms and glaring at the wall, for an instant looking like he did eleven years ago. "Come on, Optimus, not you too!" He grumbled, looking back at the two friends of his. Alexis just covered her mouth in an attempt to stop laughing.
"Sorry, Carlos." Optimus said, apologizing, but one could still see the lightheartedness in his optics. Alexis looked up at the Autobot Leader and smiled. "Did you want to come with? You ARE supposed to be on vacation, after all." She said, making a very good point. A low hum came from the giant robot, his blue head tilting as if thinking about it.
"Come on, man, don't make my run here pointless!" Said Carlos, trying to get Optimus to come with by using a little bit of human guilting. Optimus chuckled and nodded. "Alright, I will go with. You have the coordinates, Carlos?"
"Already plugged in, man! We are set to go!" He said cheerfully, straightening up.
"YOU might be, but I need to run home and grab some supplies, like a bathing suit!" Alexis piped in, crossing her arms. Carlos gave an exasperated sigh.
"Well hurry up! The day is perfect and you're wasting time!"
Alexis laughed and nodded. "I'll ask Sureshock if he will give me a ride to my house real quick…unless you would, Optimus. You're a little faster and we'd get back here sooner." She asked hopefully, looking up at the leader. Optimus chuckled and nodded.
"Of course, I don't have a problem with it, Alexis. I will meet you outside." He said, watching as the two humans gave each other looks of excitement and dart off.
"Thanks, Optimus!" Alexis said as she ran out the door, still a kid in some ways, though she was 23 years old now. Being around the Autobots (and the Decepticons now, since the war had ended all those years ago) made her remember how things were back when she was younger. They were the only connection she had to Starscream anymore. Even though she didn't want to admit it, that was part of the reason that she loved hanging around them so much. The other reason was that they were her friends and she would do anything for them. Especially after everything that they had been through, how they had helped her, Optimus in particular.
About twenty minutes later she found herself rummaging around in her room, searching for her bathing suit…or rather, the top piece to it. She growled as she began throwing things out of her closet to find it.
"Oh come on! I hardly EVER lose things! Of course today would be the day I would lose the top to my bathing suit! Grrrrr!" she said, yelling at the contents of her closet. She saw a slight glint out of the corner of her eye deep in the closet and she looked towards it, reaching back to grab it, thinking it was one of the metal dangles that hung off of her top. She grabbed it and squealed happily.
"Yes!" she exclaimed, yanking it out of a box that it had somehow gotten into. She turned around with the blue and silver top and placed it in her backpack with the bottom half, some towels, sunscreen, a few snacks and deflated beach toys. She glanced around her room, thinking something was missing, when her eyes landed on her nightstand. There, laying on its own cord, was her pendant. She found herself biting her lip as she debated grabbing it and wearing it. As she watched, it glowed softly. She knew it did this every so often, but she never knew why. She sighed and walked over to it, picking it up gently.
"Alexis…."
She dropped the pendant in shock, hearing a soft thud as it hit her nightstand again, whirling to find…nothing. There was no one in her room. She stuck her head out the window to see if Optimus had called her, but the truck outside her house hadn't moved at all. She pulled her head back in and looked around again, her heart pounding, fearing there was someone sneaking around her home. Without a second thought she grabbed the pendant again and her backpack, slipping out of her room and sneaking down her hallway towards her front door, listening for any sounds. There was nothing and no one in her house. She gave a huge sigh of relief and walked into her kitchen to grab her radio before leaving. She figured music would be in order for such a fine day.
She made sure to grab her keys before heading out, locking the door before turning around to face the brilliant sunlight reflecting off of the brightly-painted Autobot-in-semi-form in front of her. The chrome of anything not painted blue or red glistened in the light as if nothing had ever touched the fine metal. She grinned and wandered up to the truck and reached up, pulling on his door handle. It opened with ease and she climbed in, setting her backpack next to her.
"Ready to go, Alexis?" He asked, the voice seeming to come from all around her. She nodded.
"Mm-hmm! Ready for some relaxation at the lake!" She said, cheerful. She glanced down at her hand, noting she still had the pendant with her. As Optimus started back towards the base to use the Warp Gate, she stared at the dashboard and bit her lip.
"Optimus…did you call for me at all while I was in my house getting ready?" She asked, a bit afraid she already knew his answer.
"No, I did not. Is something wrong?" He answered, shifting gears as he rounded the corner and got onto the main street. Alexis sighed.
"I don't know. I swear I heard someone say my name in my house. I had picked up my pendant to bring it with and…" her voice trailed off as she stared at her pendant, something striking her very odd about it. Something wasn't….right about it. It looked different. Optimus waited a moment to see if she was going to say anything else after that before speaking.
"Someone said your name after you picked it up? Hmm…" He said, curious now. Alexis nodded absently, studying her pendant more closely. Suddenly it hit her like a ton of bricks.
"…Optimus…the crack…it's gone!" she gasped, her heart beating wildly. Her fingers traced over where the crack used to be, her eyes wide in shock. There was no way that it would have repaired itself like that. It cracked when he died...what would have caused it to suddenly disappear?
"What?" Optimus exclaimed as they pulled into the entrance to the Autobot base that was hidden underground still. "Are you sure?" He came to a stop and Alexis jumped out quickly with her bag, pendant still in hand. She held it out to him as he transformed.
"Yes, look!"
Optimus leaned down, grasping the pendant's tiny cord gently and bringing it up to his face, his optics scanning it. A low rumble came from deep within him, as if he were deep in thought.
"Hmm...there is no trace of damage at all, save for natural flaws that all natural crystalline objects have. You are right, Alexis, it's indeed gone..." he said, his voice trailing off as he lowered the crystal back to the young woman below him. She held her hands out and encased the crystal gently between her palms as he released it, the cord falling gently over her hands. She opened her hands to look at it, her mind and heart confused.
"How...?" she whispered softly, completely perplexed. Her thoughts and Optimus' were interrupted by a loud voice that was laced with anxiety.
"Come on, you guys! The warm water is waiting!" Carlos said, having peeked around the corner, waiting anxiously. He was ready to get going and have some fun in the sun. Alexis looked up at Carlos, then at Optimus, and then back at Carlos, nodding. She slipped her pendant back on around her neck and picked up her bag, stepping towards her friend.
"Aw, man, not that necklace again...you've worn it ever since we fought Unicron." Carlos said, sighing. Alexis slugged him on the shoulder, earning a loud cry from the guy.
"Oww! What was that for?" He whined, rubbing his sore arm.
"THAT was for harrassing me about my necklace. It means alot to me, okay?" She said, her face suddenly clouded with that same stubborn determination as she looked straight ahead, not looking at him. She was NOT going to take crap about wearing it again. "I'll wear it as I please."
"Okay, okay, sorry..." He said, walking closer to Optimus as they all headed to the Warp Gate room. "Remind me again never to get on her bad side..." he whispered to Optimus, who chuckled softly.
"What was that?" Alexis had stopped in her tracks and was glaring at Carlos. Adults though they were, they still had arguments like they were kids. It was part of what kept them who they were and part of what kept them friends. Carlos backed up, his hands waving in front of him.
"Hey, whoa, I just said I don't wanna get on your bad side, that's all!" He said, his face showing the fear of getting pummled again. Alexis grinned.
"Good, just you remember that." It was all Optimus could do to keep from chuckling more at his two human friends. "Now, lets get to that lake and have some fun!" She said, making a fist in front of her chest, a sign of determination. Not that it took much to have fun, but between the job she had as an ambassador between her race and the Transformers, the computer work she did with them and her two male friends, she had her hands quite full. So today would be quite the break from everything, and she looked forward to it.
A/N - I have this terryfing fear that the characters I write are going to be out-of-character. If this happens, please forgive me. I am doing my best to make sure they stay as in-character as I can manage. Other than that, Ch. 2 is already on it's way.
