Disclaimer: I own Clash of Ninja 2, but not Naruto. Damn.

A/N: Sorry! This is really late and... Do we have an excuse, Siggy? Well, not exactly... Yeah. Sorry, guys. I hope this chapter's lunch discussion makes up for the wait. Expect the next update sometime before school starts. That good by you, Sig? I think so. Then again, I'm not much of a thinker. Silly. All right, read, enjoy, and review!


Homeroom is a joke class, actually. The teacher, Asuma, is hardly ever there. He just pops in at the beginning of class to take roll and tell us all that if a salesman comes by wanting to know if we want to buy Galapagos tortoises to say no. Then he leaves. Half the class thinks it's to smoke, the other halfthinks it's to flirt with the drama teacher, Kurenai. Who, interestingly enough, happens to not have a class first thing in the morning.

"Shikamaru, wake up." I shot a glare at the boy in the seat next to me. Shikamaru Nara: resident genius. Lazy as hell, though.

He didn't respond. I resorted to throwing a pen at him. Still nothing. I sighed and waited for what turned out to be a very delayed reaction, as he slowly sat up.

"There's not a single thing to be doing right now, Ino," he said. "Let me sleep, just this once." With that, he put his head back down.

I just stared at him.

"Just this once?" I wanted to know. "Shikamaru, you sleep every homeroom."

The only response I got to that was an incoherent mumble. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. There are only two people who can get him to do anything, and neither of them are me.

"Hey, Ino."

I turned at the familiar voice and grinned at the newcomer. "Choji!" Yes, I forgot he has homeroom with me. What kind of a friend am I?

Anyway, he pulled up a chair next to me and sat down. I poked him. He, obviously getting no hint whatsoever that I was originally annoying Shikamaru, poked me back.

"No! Don't touch me!" I said in a very loud tone. It resulted in the entire class looking at me. "What? He touched me."

"Looks like someone's being kind of picky today," Shikamaru said. I glared at him, as he was not sleeping in any way.

I rolled my eyes. "You started this. And now you're actually caring?"

He shrugged. "Let's just say you enlightened me with your powers of observation."

After giving Shikamaru a well-earned glare and one of my infamous tongue stick-outings, I turned back to Choji. "So, why were you late?" I asked conversationally.

He shrugged. "Time just flew by this morning," he replied dramatically, clasping one hand over where I guess his heart is.

"Ha. Funny."

"I'm glad you think so."

I began laughing, which made him start as well. We must have looked like two big idiots sitting there, in the middle of homeroom, laughing up a storm.

"You two are being too loud..."

"Shut it, you!" For once it wasn't me saying something to Shikamaru. Choji had stopped his laughter just long enough to take my job and get on him. Go Choji! Yeah, remember when I said there are only two people existing that can make Shikamaru do stuff? One of those two would be Choji. They're best friends, for some odd reason. The other... would kill me if I ever said anything, so let's just forget about it for now. Okay? Good.

Shikamaru leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling. It's one of those popcorn ceilings, you know, the ones with the little bumps and the gumwads stuck to them? He muttered something that sounded like, "Troublesome," and fell silent.

I really don't understand that kid. He could be in college right now if he wanted to, but no... He just had to stay here and irritate the crap out of me. I guess it comes of being next door neighbors and friends for about fifteen years. Still, I swear, boys are not human. They're the most inhumane creatures known to mankind. I mean womankind. Except maybe Kiba. He's got an animal obsession.

Yeah, I don't know what I'm talking about either. See, this is why I don't like homeroom. My thoughts always do stuff like --

Rrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggg!

The next three classes went by pretty quickly. First came art, which was mostly a chat fest, as we never got any projects assigned before midterms. Next came English, where we did nothing but plan essays that would probably end up being forgotten about in a week. Calculus, on the other hand, involved more work than the other two classes combined, and it was hard. For starters, Kakashi teaches that class. Let me tell you about Kakashi. He reads a manga series called Ichi Ichi Paradise, which just happens to be written by the principals' boyfriend. What's worse is that they're porn manga. I know because Naruto looked at one of them while Kakashi wasn't in the room and he told us. Gross. Secondly, I suck at math. I mean, I'm horrible at it. So I have to be tutored by Shikamaru.

Let me tell you, you do not want to be tutored by your genius friend in anything. Especially math.

Thankfully, the bell rang, and then I was allowed to go to glorious, amazing, fantastic, life-saving lunch. So maybe the food stunk worse that a week's worth of garbage, but the fact that you could talk to friends made up for that. Not that I wasn't doing that in art, but really, the only person in art that I know is Sai, and, good though he is, he has severe people issues.

Everyday is a new experience for all of us once we're all seated at our usual table. I mean, think about the people that sit at this thing. We manage to crowd over thirteen people at this table. There's me, Choji, Shikamaru, Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, Kiba, Hinata, and Shino, usually. Recently Karin and Suigetsu have joined us, along with Gaara, Kankuro, and Temari. Karin is Sasuke's girlfriend (obsessive fiend is more like it) and Suigetsu is one of Sasuke's friends who everyone knows has crush on Karin. It's the arguing. Suigetsu's friend, Juugo, doesn't sit with us. He says it's too noisy for him.

Gaara, Kankuro, and Temari are new; they just enrolled this year. Before now they went to Suna High. They're siblings: Gaara's in tenth with most of us, Kankuro's in eleventh with Tenten and Neji, and Temari's a senior. I'm not entirely sure why they all sit at our table, though I think it's because Gaara's friends with Naruto and Temari likes to beat on Shikamaru. But then again, I could be wrong.

The rest of our group -- Sai, Tenten, Neji, and Lee -- don't sit at this table. They say our table is too crowded for them. Besides, Sai spends most of his lunches in the art room. So I spied on him a few times. So what? I'm not the only one, believe me.

"Food, glorious food!" Naruto declared, half singing, half hollering. I was immenselyrelieved to see Sasuke -- without missing a beat -- reach up and smack him over the head. That kid can be so annoying.

"Hey, guess what they have for lunch today," Temari said, sliding into her spot.

"Do I want to know?" Shikamaru asked. I stare at him.

"You're awake?" I asked. He just nodded. What an infuriating boy.

"Ravioli that looks like Gaara's dirty socks, slimy pineapple, and curdled chocolate milk," Temari informed us all.

"Thank you ever so much for the analogy, Temari," Gaara said dryly.

"That's what I'm here for."

"Use Kankuro's socks for your analogies."

"I don't know what his look like," Temari replied with a shrug. "You're the one that leaves them out on the floor. Kankuro's are the ones that I can smell from fifty miles away."

"What about socks?" Choji asked, pulling up a chair from an empty table and sitting down next to me. "Are we comparing what our socks have on them? Mine normally have a red band around the ankle, but I'm not wearing any today."

Kiba spit out a half-chewed dog biscuit. "You're not wearing any underwear?"

"That's not what I said." In my mind, I knew that this misunderstanding would lead to a very interesting, if not inappropriate, conversation.

"You do know that you could have just given some other person not wearing anything down there a brilliant idea," Sakura said very matter-of-factly. "That's how babies are made, you know."

I sighed. This was exactly what I was afraid of.

"And, Choji, do you really want to ruin someone's school life? Children are very hard to take care of during class."

"He said he wasn't waring socks," Shino muttered. "Stop acting like Genma, because he's teaching you from some ancient textbook."

Sakura blushed furiously. "I know that! But this is the truth! Trust me!" Everyone in the room must have heard her, because they all turned and laughed for a second before returning to their respective clique lives.

"I'd love to see someone actually get pregnant simply because both them and their significant other weren't 'protected' like that," I giggled, causing Sakura to blush harder. "Who were you inferring to, anyway?"

"I don't know," she replied. "Anyone that he's come in contact with?"

"Even though he is wearing underwear?"

"They're boxers, guys..."

We all sat in silence for a moment. Then Hinata broke it by saying, "The looser undergarments make circulation a lot better." Stunned by the sheer strangeness of that comment, we all started to eat without saying a word.