the one with the sonogram at the end
It had been a few days since Rose had moved in with the Doctor's sister Tara and she was still working at the coffee shop where the whole gang was and they were talking about relationships.
"What you guys don't understand is, for us, kissing is as important as any part of it" Tara said as Amy chewed on her hair whilst doing a cross word puzzle.
"Yeah right" Jack pointed out before he suddenly realized "you serious?"
"Oh yeah" Amy replied, spitting the piece of hair she was chewing from her mouth.
" Everything you need to know is in that first kiss" said Rose as she walked over to sit with the group because she was on her break from serving coffee.
"Absolutely" Tara agreed as Amy went back to the cross word she had been doing for the past hour and she was finding it really difficult.
"Yeah, I think for us, kissing is pretty much like an opening act, you know? I mean it's like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through before Pink Floyd comes out" the Master stated as the Doctor nodded in agreement.
"Yeah, and-and it's not that we don't like the comedian, it's that-that... that's not why we bought the ticket" the Doctor pointed out as Amy huffed and put the pen down, indicating that she was now giving up on the cross word puzzle.
"The problem is, though, after the concert's over, no matter how great the show was, you girls are always looking for the comedian again, you know? I mean, we're in the car, we're fighting traffic... basically just trying to stay awake" the Master replied whilst Amy put the puzzle book in her hnadbag in frustration.
" Yeah, well, word of advice,bring back the comedian. Otherwise next time you're going to find yourself sitting at home, listening to that album alone" Rose indicated as a look of confusion spread across Jack's face and he asked if they were still talking about sex.
Later that day, the Doctor was at at a museum of prehistoric history and it was were he had been working for the past few years and right now he was in the stone age exhibition with one of his co-workers, Marsha.
"No, it's good, it is good, it's just that- mm- doesn't she seem a little angry?" he asked, indicating to a statue of a stone age woman.
"Well, she has issues" Marsha replied.
"Does she?" the Doctor asked.
"He's out banging other women over the head with a club, while she sits at home trying to get the mastodon smell out of the carpet!" Marsha replied as she positioned the statue of a stone age man and the Doctor shook hish ead in dispair.
"Marsha, these are cave people. Okay? They have issues like 'Gee, that glacier's getting kinda close.' See?" the Doctor asked just as Romana appeared outside the exhibition.
" Speaking of issues, isn't that your ex-wife?" Marsha asked when she first noticed that Romana was stood outside.
"No no" the Doctor said, trying to ignore her.
"Yes it is, Romana hi" Marsha said, waving at her as the Doctor turned around and saw her stood there.
"Okay, okay, yes, it is" the Doctor said, waving to her before turning to Marsha " how about I'll, uh, catch up with you in the Ice Age?." Marsha nodded and walked off as the Doctor waved for Romana to come in and she did.
"Hi" the Doctor said, blushing slightly and feeling akward aswell.
"So?" Romana asked.
" You look great. I, uh... I hate that" he replied, rubbing the back of his neck in a sheepish manner and blushing even further than he was before.
" Sorry" Romana pointed out "You look good too."
"Ah, well, in here, anyone who... stands erect... So what's new? Still, uh..." the Doctor said.
" A lesbian?" Romana asked, cutting him off.
"Well... you never know. How's, um.. how's the family?" the Doctor asked before biting his knuckles.
" Marty's still totally paranoid. Oh, and, uh-" Romana said before the Doctor cut her off and asked her what she was doing there.
"I'm pregnant" she replied as a look of shock spread across the Doctor's face and he was now speechless. over at Tara's apartment, the Master, Jack and Amy where watching Three's company whilst Tara was busy tidying up.
"Oh, I think this is the episode of Three's Company where there's some kind of misunderstanding" the Master pointed out.
"Then I've already seen this one" Amy replied as she picked up the remote and turned off the tv whilst Tara took Jack's drink off him whilst he was in the middle of drinking it.
"Are you through with that?" she asked as Jack gave her a look of annoyance.
"Yeah, sorry, the swallowing slowed me down" he replied in sarcasm as Tara went to go into the kitchen and found a ball of paper on the coffee table.
"Whose little ball of paper is this?" she asked the other three.
" Oh, uh, that would be mine. See, I wrote a note to myself, and then I realised I didn't need it, so I balled it up and..." the Master said before he noticed the way Tara was looking ar him "now I wish I was dead." Tara threw the paper ball into the bin and then started fluffing a pillow that was laying on the sofa.
"She's already fluffed that pillow" Amy stated "Tara, you know, you've already fluffed that-" she continued before noticing the look that Tara was now giving her "but, it's fine."
" Look , I'm sorry, guys, I just don't want to give them any more ammunition than they already have" Tara replied as she put some fruit in the fruit bowl.
"Yes, and we all know how cruel a parent can be about the flatness of a child's pillow" the Master indicated as Amy pointed out that Tara was being all chaotic and twirly which wasn't in a good way.
"Yeah, calm down" Jack told her "You don't see the Doctor getting all chaotic and twirly every time they come."
"That's because as far as my parents are concerned, the Doctor can do no wrong" Tara replied as the Master walked over to the window "you see, he's the prince. Apparently they had some big ceremony before I was born. "
"Ew ew ew ew ew" the Master called out from the window.
"What?" Tara asked.
"Ugly Naked Guy got a Thighmaster!" the Master replied causing everyone else to become grossed out just as Rose emerged from her bedroom.
" Has anybody seen my engagement ring?" she asked.
"Yeah, it's beautiful" Amy replied. Rose was now begining to panic, walked into the front room and began looking under the cushions on the sofa and Amy told her not to touch them as Tara had been constantly fluffing them over five times in the past hour.
"Oh, like I wasn't dreading tomorrow enough, having to give it back to him... 'Hi Mickey! Remember me? I'm the girl in the veil who stomped on your heart in front of your entire family!' Oh God and now I'm gonna have to return the ring, without the ring, which makes it so much harder..." Rose stated.
"Easy Rose, we'll help you find it" Tara offered before turning to the other three "won't we."
"Oh yeah" Jack and the Master both said at the same time before Jack asked Rose when she had it on last time.
"Doy! Probably right before she lost it" Amy pointed out.
" You don't get a lot of 'doy' these days" the Master pointed out as Rose continued to search for the missing engagement ring in the kitchen.
" I know I had it this morning, and I know I had it when I was in the kitchen" Rose said before she noticed the lasagne Tara had been making and realized something "Ohhhhh, don't be mad."
"You didn't" Tara said.
"I am so sorry" Rose replied.
"I gave you one job" Tara said in a very annoyed voice as she picked the lasagne dish and began to examine it.
"Oh but look how staright those noodles are" Rose pointed out as Tara put the dish on the table, searching for the ring.
"Now, Tara,you know that's not how you look for an engagement ring in a lasagne " the Master said as he, Jack and Amy walked into the kitchen.
"I just can't do it" Tara said, walking away from the lasagne as Amy and the two guys approached it.
"Boys? We're going in" the Master said before he, Jack and Amy began picking through the lasagne as the Doctor walked into the apartment, looking miserable.
"Hi" he said glumily.
" Wow. That is not a happy hi" Tara replied, walking over to her brother.
"Romana's pregnant" he told her and there was a stunned silence until Amy shouted out that sheh ad found the engagement ring.
"W-w-wh-... wha-... w-w-w-..." Tara stammered, unable to get a single word out.
"Yeah. Do that for another two hours, you might be where I am right about now" he told her before heading into the front room.
" Kind of puts that whole pillow thing in perspective, huh, Tara" the Master said as Tara followed the Doctor into the front room.
"Well now, how-how do you fit into this whole thing?" Rose asked as she, Amy and the other two guys walked into the living room.
"Well, Romana says she and Susie want me to be involved, but if I'm not comfortable with it, I don't have to be involved.. basically it's entirely up to me" the Doctor explained and Tara asked him what she meant by being involved wih the baby.
"I mean presumably, the biggest part of your job is done" the Master said.
" Anyway, they want me to go down to this- sonogram thing with them tomorrow" the Doctor said.
" So what are you going to do?" Rose asked as she took a cookie from the cookie jar, only to get a glare from Tara so she put it back.
" I have no idea" the Doctor indicated "No matter what I do, though, I'm still gonna be a father." Suddenly, they could hear the sound of something being eaten and they turned around to find Jack eating the lasagne and he realized that they were all looking at him accusingly.
"Well, this is still ruined, right?" he asked before he continued to eat the now ruined lasagne. Later that evening, Tara and the Doctor had their parents over and they were pouring wine.
"Oh, Martha Ludwin's daughter is gonna call you" their mom, Miriam told Tara before she picked up a snack and tasted it "Mmm! What's that curry taste?"
"Curry" Tara replied and the Doctor said that he thought they were great.
"Do you remember the Ludwins?" their dad, Garvin asked the Doctor "The big one had a thing for you, didn't she?"
"They all had a thing for him" Miriam pointed out.
"Aw, Mom.." the Doctor said, getting slightly embarresed.
" I'm sorry, why is this girl going to call me?" Tara asked, placing her hands on hips and looking at both her parents.
"Oh, she just graduated, and she wants to be something in cooking, or food, or... I don't know. Anyway, I told her you had a restaurant-" Miriam said before Tara interupted her to point out that she didn't own a restaurant, just wokred in one.
"Well she doesn't have to know that" Miriam replied before she picked up a pillow and began to fluff it as Tara went into the kitchen, asking the Doctor to help her with the spaghetti.
"Oh, we're having spaghetti! That's... easy" Miriam said matter o factly.
"Well we were going to have lasagne but something went wrong with it so now we're having spaghetti" Tara told her before turning to the Doctor "I know this is going to sound unbelievably selfish, but, were you planning on bringing up the whole baby/lesbian thing? Because I think it might take some of the heat off me." A while later, the whole family were sat around the kitchen table eating the spaghetti that Tara had made.
"What that Rose did with her life" Miriam said " We ran into her parents at the club, they were not playing very well."
" I'm not gonna tell you what they spent on that wedding... but forty thousand pounds is a lot of money!" Garvin indicated.
"Well, at least she had the chance to leave a man at the altar..." Miriam pointed out.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Tara asked.
"Nothing! It's an expression" Miriam replied but Tara pointed out that it wasn't as Garvin told her not to listen to Miriam.
" You're independent, and you always have been! Even when you were a kid... and you were chubby, and you had no friends, you were just fine! And you would read alone in your room, and your puzzles" he told her as Tara went a slight shade of Scarlet whilst Garvin continued to eat his spaghetti "look, there are people like the Doctor who need to shoot for the stars, with his museum, and his papers getting published. Other people are satisfied with staying where they are- I'm telling you, these are the people who never get cancer .And I read about these women trying to have it all, and I thank God 'Our Little Tara' doesn't seem to have that problem. "
"So Doctor,what's going on with you? Any stories?" Tara askes, trying to change the subject "No news, no little anecdotes to share with the folks?"
"Ok" the Doctor sighed "Look, I, uh- I realise you guys have been wondering what exactly happened between Romana and me, and, so, well, here's the deal. Romana's a lesbian. She's living with a woman named Susie. She's pregnant with my child, and she and Susie are going to raise the baby." There as another stunned silence like before when he told Tara the big news until Miriam asked Tara if she knew about it. Later that day, the whole gang were hanging at the coffee shop again.
" Your folks are really that bad, huh?" Jack asked the Doctor.
"Well you know,these people are pros" the Doctor replied as he picked up a cookie and broke a piece off "They know what they're doing, they take their time, they get the job done." He put the piece of cookie he had broken off into his mouth and began chewing on it with crumbs dropping everywhere.
"Boy, I know they say you can't change your parents,... boy, if you could,I'd want yours" tara told the Doctor who indicated that he needed to use the bathroom and he stood up and went to the rest room.
" You know, it's even worse when you're twins" Amy piped up.
"You're twins?" Rose asked.
"Yeah, we got seperated at birth because some crazy woman stole her from the hospital and I didn't reunite her until I was sixteen but a few weeks later I found out she was a total bitch so we don't talk much" Amy explained.
"What does she do?" the Master asked her.
"She's a waitress" Amy replied just before Rose told them that they had to leave because she had to clean up and they all got up to leave.
"Master,you're an only child, right? You don't have any of this" said Tara as they walked towards the exit.
"Well, no, although I did have an imaginary friend, who... my parents actually preferred" the Master replied as Rose told Jack to switch the lights off and after the other four had left, the Doctor came out of the rest room to find the lights off and Rose the only one there.
"How long was I in there?" he asked.
"I'm just cleaning up" Rose replied as she began sweeping the floor.
"Do you need any help with that?" the Doctor offered. Rose nodded, handing him the broom and then sat down as the Doctor swept the floor.
"Anyway, are you nervous about tomorrow?" he asked her as he continued sweeping.
"Oh a little" Rose replied as the Doctor gave her a look saying "come on, be honest" so Rose indicated that she was very nervous before asking the Doctor if he had any advice because he had recently been dumped.
"Well, you may wanna steer clear of the word 'dumped'. Chances are he's gonna be this, this broken shell of a man, you know, so you should try not to look too terrific, I know it'll be hard. Or, you know, uh, hey!, I'll go down there, and I'll give Mickey back his ring, and you can go with Romana and Susie to the OB/GYN..." the Doctor said.
"Oh, you've got Romana tomorrow.. When did it get so complicated?" Rose asked as the Doctor shruggged and pointed out that he didn't have a clue. The next morning, Romana was at the clinic, waiting when the Doctor came bursting through the door.
" Sorry I'm late, I was stuck at work. There was this big dinosaur.. thing.. anyway" he explained just as Susie walked in, carrying a drink and when she noticed that the Doctor was sitting there, she didn't seem to impressed to see him.
"Hi" she said matter,o,factly.
"Doctor, you remember Susie" Romana pointed out.
"How could I forget?" the Doctor replied then going to shake Susie's hand "hello Susie. Good, so what are we waiting for?"
"Dr. oberman" Romana replied.
"Dr. Oberman. Okay. And is he-" the Doctor said right before Susie interuppted to point out that Dr. Oberman was actually a woman.
"she, of course, she- uh- familiar with our.. special situation?" the Doctor asked.
" Yes, and she's very supportive" Romana replied as Susie handed the drink to her as the Doctor picked up a piece of surgical equipment and began to mime a duck with it "Doctor, That opens my cervix." The Doctor dropped the thing he was mucking around with in horror and slolwy backed away from it.
Over at Mickey's surgery, Mikcey was working on a young boy's mouth just as Rose entered and when he saw her, he told her to come in.
"Are you sure?" Rose asked.
"Yeah! It's fine, it's fine. Robbie's gonna be here for hours" Mickey said as the boy in the chair looked shocked "so, how you doing?"
"I'm- uh- I'm okay... You look great!" Rose pointed out.
" Yeah, well" Mickey said, rubbing the back of his head just as a a voice over the intercom said that one of the other patients was gagging.
"I'll be right there" he replied into the intercom before turning to Rose "Be back in a sec." He left the room and Robbie was now staring at Rose.
"I dumped him" Rose told him.
"Ok" Robbie replied. Back at the Clinic, the Doctor, Romana and Susie where discussing about who should be invovled with the baby.
"So, um- so how's this, uh, how's this gonna work?" the Doctor asked "You know, with us you know, when like important decisions have to be made?"
"Give me a for instance" Romana told him.
"Well Ok, how about the baby's name" the Doctor said as he paced around the room with his hands in his pockets.
"Marlon" Romana suggested and the Doctor gave her a shocked expression "if it's a boy and Minnie if it's a girl."
"As in Mouse?" the Doctor asked, his voice going a little high pitched.
"As in my grandmother" Romana pointed out.
" Still, you- you say Minnie, you hear Mouse" the Doctor said as he started to rock back and forth on his heels "how about Julia?"
"But we agreed on Minnie" Susie stated as the Doctor glared at her and told her that he quite liked the name Julia. Back at the Dentist surgery, Rose was doing her makeup in the mirror on Mickey's lamp when he entered the room.
"Sorry about that" he said "so, what have you been up to?." Rose finished off doing her make up and told Mikcey that she now had a job at the coffee shop.
"Oh, that's great" he replied before Rose realized that he was tanned and asked how he had got like that.
"Oh, I went to Aruba" Mikcey replied, looking a little guilty.
"Oh no, you went on our honeymoon alone?" Rose asked with a groan but Mickey told her that he went with a girl called Mindy and a shokced Rose pointed out that she was her maid of honour.
"Yeah, well, uh, we're kind of a thing now" he admitted before Rose noticed that he was wearing lenses and she stated that he hated sticking his finger in his eye. Mickey however pointed out that he liked doing it for Mindy before telling Rose that he really wanted to thank her.
"Okay" she replied, getting confused.
" See, about a month ago, I wanted to hurt you. More than I've ever wanted to hurt anyone in my life. And I'm an orthodontist" he told her.
"Wow" was all Rose could say.
" You know, you were right? I mean, I thought we were happy. We weren't happy. But with Mindy, now I'm happy" he explained before telling Robbie to spit.
"Anyway" Rose said as she got the engagement ring out of her purse "I guess this belongs to you. And thank you for giving it to me."
" Well, thank you for giving it back" Mickey replied. The two of them where now staring at each other for a while and Robbie was starting to grow impatient.
Back at the Clinic, the Doctor, Romana and Susie where still arguing about what they were going to call the baby.
"Oh please, what's wrong with Helen?" Susie asked.
"Helen who?" the Doctor said "I don't think so."
"Hello, it's not going to be called Helen who" Romana pointed out as both Susie and the Doctor gave each the evils just as Dr. Oberman entered the room.
" Knock knock!How are we today? Any nausea?" she asked as the three of them nodded "Well, I was just wondering about the mother-to-be, but.. thanks for sharing." She then told Romana to lie back.
"You know what, I'm going to go, I don't think I can be involved in this particular thing right now" the Doctor said. He tunred to leave but when he heard the Sonogram, he returned and stared at the image on the screen.
"Oh my god" he said.
"Look at that" Susie pointed out. Later that evening, the whole gang where over at Tara's apartment, watching the Sonogram on the tv.
"Well, isn't it amazing?" the Doctor asked with a huge grin.
"What are we supposed to be seeing here?" Jack asked, squinting his eyes.
" I don't know, but.. I think it's about to attack the Enterprise" the Master stated.
" You know, if you tilt your head to the left, and relax your eyes, it kinda looks like an old potato" Amy pointed out.
"Then don't do that, alright?" the Doctor told her before getting up and walking over to Tara "Tara, what do you think?" Tara didn't say anything, instead she nodded and the Doctor noticed that she was welling up.
"I'm not welling up" Tara said, trying to hold it in.
"You are, you're welling up" the Doctor said but Tara was still denying it and the Doctor pointed out that she was going to be an Aunt.
"Oh shut up" Tara sobbed as she pushed her brother over just as Rose entered the room, talking on the phone to Mindy.
"Hi, Mindy, it's me Rose. Yeah, I'm fine. I saw Mickey today. Oh, yeah, yeah he told me. No, no, it's okay. I hope you two are very happy, I really do. Oh, oh, and Mind, you know everything works out, and you guys end up getting married and having kids- and everything- I just hope they have his old hairline and your old nose" she said before she put the phone down and noticed that the other five where all staring at her " Okay, I know it was a cheap shot, but I feel SO much better now." She then walked into her bedroom with a satisfied grin as the other five looked at each other, not knowing what to say.
