A/N: A lil reminder (even though y'all probably don't need it) that I rewrote the end of the first chapter, so read that before reading this chapter or else it might be a bit confusing. Also, this is pretty darn rusty because I'm still trying to get my groove back. But it'll start getting better soon (hopefully). I promise.
-o-o-o-
"Atticus?"
"Atticus?"
His eyes were set on Jean. She was standing in the corner of the room, looking at a collection of photographs that Alexandra hung on the wall when they first moved to the new home. There were some pictures of old – Jean and Atticus on their wedding day, them with their children – but most of them were new. He wondered if she was examining the new ones, wondering what events occurred in her absence. "Sweet," she said, not looking away from the frames. "Sweet, Scout is callin' for you."
He brings his attention to his daughter, who was leaning in the doorway that lead to the parlor. She had a frown on her face as she watched him. "How long have you been here?" He asked, just noticing her presence.
"For ten minutes," he couldn't tell if the expression in her voice was agitation or worry. "I was callin' you for breakfast."
"It's too late for breakfast," he remarked. She folded her arms.
"It's nine am," she said matter-of-factly. "Uncle Jack and Jem are here, we've had this planned for days."
He couldn't recall that.
"Your aunt must not have told me," he said, slowly getting up. His arthritis was hurting him something awful today. Jean had turned away from the photo frames and was watching him, a hint of worry in her eyes.
"You planned it," she said. "At Lou's funeral."
A solemn expression struck Jeans face. "I always told her to get her heart checked," she lamented. "She never listened. You make sure Scout gets checked, I don't want her dropping dead like I did."
Like I did.
Like I did.
He almost forgot that she had died. He didn't want to think about it.
"Atticus, what are you lookin' at?"
"Nothin'," he responded gruffly. "Let's go eat."
As they walked to the dining room, Atticus could tell that Jean Louise purposefully slowed down her pace to match his. He hated it. He was now the old man that people pitied, he was basically an invalid in his family's eyes.
As he sat down at his place at the head of the table, he heard Jem whisper to Josie "don't jump on Atticus, now, you'll hurt him." In response, Josie slowly made her way to her grandfather, softly wrapping her arms around his neck. He hugged her back, feeling sick over the fact that she was told to treat him like the fragile thing he was.
As he sent Josie back to her seat, Atticus noticed Jean watching the girl, her hands clasped together and her eyes wide. "Just look at her," Jean remarked. "She's beautiful."
"Would you like some eggs, Atticus?" Alexandra asked, holding out a tray of steaming eggs.
He didn't answer. Instead, he watched Jean. She was walking around the room now, looking from person to person. Her eyes landed on Scout, and Jean's eyes slowly moved up and down, examining the daughter she never got to see grow up. "She looks more like Louise than me," she remarked. "I swear she could be Louise's daughter." His heart sank.
"Atticus?"
Atticus jumped. "What?" He asked.
Alexandra was staring at him. "Eggs," she said firmly. "Atticus, do you want eggs?"
"You're talkin' at him like he's a dog," Jem said, his mouth full of egg.
"Jem," his wife began, as a warning for him to stop talking.
"I'm simply getting his attention," Alexandra responded.
"Maybe you should get the stick out of your ass before you do that," Scout said.
Then, pure chaos erupted.
Jack hollered (whether it was with surprise or laughter Atticus was unsure) while Jem burst into laughter, which caused Josie to laugh while Carol simply covered her eyes with her hand, resigned. A mixture of embarrassment and fury crossed Alexandra's face.
From the corner of his eye he noticed Jean, cheeks blushed with delight and a triumphant smile on her face. "Lord Almighty," Jean said. "She is like Louise!"
-o-o-o-
The family breakfast was shortly interrupted by Scout and Alexandra fighting – Scout attempted to apologize, but was only met by comments from Alexandra wondering why her niece was "so cruel." Josie watched, her eyes wide, as Scout and Alexandra moved between kitchen and dining room, with Scout trying (albeit not that hard) to make amends with her aunt. Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity, Alexandra stormed off to her room.
"Zandra does have a stick up her ass," Jean shrugged.
"Way to go, kid," Jack said, laughing.
"Why do you always fight with Aunty?" Josie asked her aunt, a serious tone on her voice. Atticus knew that Josie wasn't asking this because she felt bad for Alexandra. Rather, she was asking because she was terrified of Alexandra, and couldn't comprehend why Scout was brave enough to be so brash with her Aunt.
"It's complicated, sweet."
"Are we gonna fight like that?" Josie asked, a hint of fear in her voice.
"Hell no," Scout said. "You're my best girl."
At the sound of the swear word, Jack elbowed Jean Louise hard in the side, making her yelp. "Are you goin' to let her talk like that?" He asked Jem and Carol. "Soon enough, Josie will be swearing."
"I've already accepted it," Carol said. "Last week she damned me to hell because I didn't pass her the damn ham."
"Hrmph." Jack grunted.
"Still such an odd man," Jean remarked, looking at Jack. "Does he still tell those awful jokes?"
"Yes," Atticus said.
"What was that?" Scout asked.
"What was what?" He responded.
His daughter shot him a quizzical look. "I thought you said somethin', that's all."
"How long are you goin' to be here for?" Jem asked his sister. "You've been here almost a week, at this point you're usually runnin' for the hills."
Scout rolled her eyes. "I'll stay here as long as I want to," she retorted.
"If you stay here long enough, I'll start puttin' you to work at the law office."
"Real funny, Jeremy Finch."
The times when Scout was home was always bittersweet to Atticus. It seemed that once he finally got used to the fact that his daughter, his baby, moved far away from home, she was back for a visit. Every time she left was like a wound being reopened in his heart. She was thriving and doing well in New York City, but he couldn't deny that he missed his daughter. He missed the six-year-old little girl who would curl in his lap and read even though she was way too long and almost too heavy. Watching Jem and Scout, now adults, bantering back and forth with one another was strange to him. He remembered his children, his babies, young and full of wonder and curiosity. Now his children were adults with lives of their own, leaving him behind.
It almost felt as though he was a stranger in his own family. No one ever told him how much it would hurt once your children grow up, move away, and form their own lives. They no longer needed him. In fact, it was him who needed them. He was old and fragile and it was almost as if his children needed to hide that from him. For so long, he had been able bodied. Now, he needed his children to speak up louder for him to be able to hear them, and to walk slower so that he wasn't in pain.
There was once a time where his children's lives revolved around him. He took advantage the days in which his children not only needed him for their basic survival, but actually wanted to spend time with him. No one told him that as your children grew up, they wanted less to do with you. While he was immensely proud of their accomplishments, he couldn't help but to be somehow hurt by the fact that his children no longer needed him. That his children no longer wanted him. Even though they never said it, Atticus knew that he was becoming a burden to them.
"I think I might go to Europe," Jean Louise announced, leaning back in her chair to signify that she was done eating. "I might travel for a while, like Lou did."
"You don't know anyone there," Jem said.
"Neither did Louise," Jack interceded. "She went by herself for nearly two years."
"That's what I wanna do," Scout announced. "I want to travel, I want to see things, I want to hear people talk in different languages and just take it all in."
"You want to leave for two years?" Josie asked, her eyes wide with fear. She adored her aunt, and in her five-year-old opinion, even New York was too far for them to be separated.
"Probably not that long, sweet," Jean Louise said. "Just for a short while. I'll even send you post cards, like Lou sent to us."
"Daddy still has some of them," Josie said matter-of-factly. "He keeps them in his office."
"You should tell her to go," Jean said quickly, looking at Jean Louise. "I don't want that to be an experience Jean Louise misses."
"I think it would be good for you," Atticus told his daughter. He almost felt relieved by the fact that his approval made his daughter beam.
"I think Lou inspired me to do it," she said, shrugging. "All of my life, she talked about how glad she was she got to do it, and I just think it's one of those things I gotta do before I die. Actually, Dill wrote me from Italy and he was sayin'…." Her voice trailed off as Atticus' attention returned to Jean. She was watching her daughter excitedly talking about what Dill had written to her, about what she wanted to do, where she wanted to go, the things she wanted to see. Jeans eyes were filled with tears.
"Atticus?" Scouts voice came back to clarity. "Atticus, are you crying?"
He was.
