Trigger Warning: upsetting flashbacks, themes of alcoholism


Sure enough, that Thursday, at six o'clock, Aaron tentatively walked into the city gym. There was a large group of chairs, all arranged in a circle in the middle. A miniscule collection of people were sitting in the chairs, and upon venturing closer, he saw Eliza sitting in one.

She glanced up and saw him. He gave a small wave. Unsmiling, she gestured to the empty seat next to her.

"Eliza, is this the guest you were telling me about?" Aaron turned to see a young man with close-cropped hair and dark brown eyes.

Eliza only nodded.

"Welcome. I'm Jonathan Bellamy," the man said, sticking out a hand. Aaron took it, surprised by the man's strong grip.

"We're just about to get started," Jonathan said. "Please, have a seat and make yourself comfortable."

Aaron would have said something sarcastic about the limit of comfort a hard plastic chair could give, but refrained and instead sat down next to Eliza.

"You came," she said quietly.

"You thought I wouldn't?"

"I wasn't sure. You're kind of unpredictable. It always-" she paused before continuing. "It always drove Alexander crazy."

"I know, believe me," Aaron risked a sad smile. Eliza didn't return it, but her expression softened noticeably.

"Alright, everyone," Jonathan called. Aaron glanced around, noting that there were only about six people, including the three of them.

"Before we begin, I'd like to remind everyone that this is a safe place and nothing leaves this room. We're all friends here, alright?"

Everyone nodded.

"How about we go ahead and introduce ourselves?" Jonathan said. "I'm Jonathan Bellamy, as most of you know." He nodded at an older man, probably in his late fifties.

"Henry Laurens," the man said. Jonathan nodded, then looked to a young woman.

"Maria Lewis."

And so on.

"Dolley Payne Todd."

"Eliza Schuyler."

All eyes were on him. He shifted uneasily. "A-Aaron Burr."

"Aaron is a new addition to our small group, so let's do our best to make comfortable, alright?" Jonathan asked the group. A murmur of assent ran through the group.

"Okay. Who'd like to start us off tonight?"

The older man, Henry, raised his hand.

"Go ahead, Henry."

Henry cleared his throat. "Well, I was cleaning out the house the other day," he began. "You know, just some spring cleaning? Anyway, I was in the attic when I...when I found them."

"Found what, Henry?" Jonathan said gently.

"Pictures. Little ones, of him when he was younger. Probably eight or so," Henry said shakily. "And, I don't know, it's like it came rushing back all at once; like the pictures were reminding me I didn't have him anymore-" Henry broke off. There were a few moments of silence before he went on.

"And today, I was just thinking how if I had tried to stop John from joining the Army, I might still have him. I mean, I'm proud of him, for defending the country, I just-" He gestured helplessly.

"I want my son back," he finished. "That's all."

The woman sitting next to him, Maria, Aaron was sure her name was, put a hand on Henry's shoulder.

"Thank you for sharing with us, Henry," Jonathan said solemnly. "It can be difficult to remember losses. It is important, however, to remember that you are never alone in healing, and that we are all always available for discussions and meetings."

Henry nodded.

"Would anyone else- Eliza?"

Aaron glanced over at Eliza, who straightened up, carrying herself the way she had before the tragedy of what had happened to Alexander and Phillip. The slump in her shoulders was gone.

"I keep dreaming that they're okay, that I'm still living life the way it used to, like what happened was only a nightmare. But then I wake up and-" Her voice broke. "The nightmare is reality. Last week, on Friday, for a split second, I thought, I bet Phillip is so happy he doesn't have school tomorrow-and then I remembered."

She held up a hand as Jonathan was about to say something. "I don't want to hear anything. I just...I just wish my mind would stop playing tricks on me." She leaned back in her chair, arms crossed, and everyone sat in silence for a minute or two. Aaron got the sense that Eliza wouldn't want a comforting hand, but was surprised when Dolley placed her hand on Eliza's, who covered up the gesture with her own hand.

The meeting only lasted an hour, and Aaron was surprised that no one prompted him to talk about the reason he was there; not that he wanted to talk about Theodosia, not now.

The minute Jonathan concluded the meeting, Eliza rose from her chair and departed the room with a startling swiftness, leaving Aaron without a anchor he knew to hold onto.

"Aaron?" He turned to face Jonathan's kind eyes. He tried to look attentive.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think you'll be joining us next week?" Jonathan asked, before adding, "No pressure, just curious."

"Probably. Maybe." It wasn't like he had anywhere to go.

"Alright. Here's my card if you need to talk to someone one-on-one, okay?" Jonathan handed him a cool blue-green business card.

"Thanks," Aaron said, stuffing it into his pocket.

"Sure, also, don't forget that you don't have to spill your entire life story. You don't ever have to share if you don't want to; you can just come and listen if you want."

"Okay." Aaron sort of wanted to leave.

"I won't keep you. Let me know if you need anything." Jonathan clapped him on the shoulder and went to go talk to Henry.

Aaron didn't know what else to do, so he turned and headed for home.


Eliza needed a drink.

She wasn't sure why she'd shared today. It was like her hand had gone up and the words spilled out of their own accord.

Sighing, she poured herself a generous measure of wine and leaned back on the couch.

"How'd the meeting go?" her sister, Angelica asked.

"Fine," was the only reply as Eliza took a large gulp of wine.

"You need to cut back on that," Angelica remarked, pointing at the wineglass.

Eliza chose not to respond.

"I'm serious, Betsey. You need to find a better way to cope than alcohol."

"I'll work on it," Eliza said tonelessly, having no intention of doing any such thing.

"Peggy called. She wants to know if we want to go the museum tomorrow."

Eliza shrugged noncommittally.

"That's a 'yes.' I'll let Peggy know."

"When are you moving into John Church's place?" Eliza asked.

"Soon, probably. You said that was okay, right?"

"For the millionth time, yes," Eliza said exasperatedly. "I'm not helpless, I can take care of myself."

Angelica held her hands up in surrender. "Alright. I'll go call Peggy."

With that she left the room, leaving Eliza alone with memories and a wineglass.

"Alexander, be careful, please," Eliza said.

"You're acting like I've never driven in rainy weather, 'Liza," Alexander laughed.

"Don't worry, Mom," their son, Philip said from the backseat. "Dad's got this."

"One day, my cautiousness is going to save all your lives," Eliza lectured.

"I'm sure it will,"Alexander chuckled, catching Eliza's hand and bringing her knuckles to his lips.

That was the exact moment Eliza's life changed, because at that moment, something slammed into the driver's side of the car, and in a medley of twisted metal and shattered glass and awful screeching, the car spun on the wet road before veering off into a ditch on its side.

More specifically, the driver's side, where both Alexander and Philip had been sitting.

All Eliza remembered before blacking out was the rain through the broken windows, falling onto Alexander's form slumped over the steering wheel.


Wow, I am evil...sorry?

Please let me know if there are any inaccuracies with this, particularly with the support group.

Review, please!