Saturday, June 14, 1986
Lee was sneaking glances at Amanda, as the pair strolled through Rock Creek Park in companionable silence. While they searched for an ideal spot for their picnic lunch, he was slightly unnerved by her uncharacteristically silent demeanor. Growing tired of carrying the well stocked picnic basket that she had packed, he stopped walking and turned to her.
"I've tried to be patient, but we can't put it off indefinitely." She looked at him with a slightly guilty expression on her face.
"I didn't plan to…it's not really my fault…how could I possibly know that Francine would show up at your apartment the other night while we were talking. She's always had terrible timing-"
"Amanda, I wasn't talking about our delayed conversation."
"You weren't," she practically chirped.
"No, I'm afraid that my left arm is going to end up stretching to be longer than my right one if I don't put this basket down soon. We've got to choose a spot and put down our blanket."
"Oh, I'm sorry; I guess I did get a little carried away when I was loading the basket." She looked around, and then reached out and claimed one handle of the basket. "Under that elm tree over there will be perfect, c'mon." She quickly led the way, and he followed willing to allow her to decide when she was ready to resume their conversation about her failed marriage.
The large tree provided them with shade from the noonday sun, and its location afforded them a great view of their lush green surroundings. Lee couldn't help being pleased that she had chosen a spot that was a discreet distance away from the park's other visitors. They placed the basket on the ground and began to spread out their small blanket. The task completed, she picked up the basket and placed it at the center of the blanket.
"Make yourself comfortable while I spread out our lunch."
Lee seated himself at the base of the tree's trunk, hoping that if he put a little physical distance between them she'd feel more relaxed. He watched as she began spreading carefully wrapped comestibles on their makeshift tabletop. His mouth watered as she began to unwrap an array of tasty treats.
"You brought enough food to feed an army," he marveled.
"I guess I got carried away," she acknowledged ruefully, quickly glancing at him. "When I get stressed out, I usually clean the house, that's what I did Thursday night when I got home from your place. By last night, the house was spotless so I started preparing food for our picnic. Dig in," she encouraged him.
"I don't know where to begin."
His words echoed her thoughts, but she wasn't contemplating the food options she'd spread out between them. He was being far more patient with her than she'd expected him to be. Generally when he had questions that he wanted answered, he didn't let up. She'd piqued his curiosity by mentioning her failed marriage, a topic that she'd studiously avoided discussing with him since Joe's return, and yet he'd made no attempt to push her to elaborate on the topic.
"I don't either."
"There's no rush, we have all afternoon. Sometimes, I like to start by nibbling a little of this and a little of that, we don't have to dive into the main course right off."
He reached out and snagged what he was certain was a homemade biscuit. No one baked as well as Amanda, and he could no longer resist the aromas that the light breeze was carrying in his direction.
"Delicious, as usual, is that potato salad I see there," he questioned hungrily.
"It is," she replied, passing him a plate and fork as she studied his face. "Why are you being so sweet and patient with me?"
"Aren't I always patient with you," he parried, his dimples on full display.
"No, not always," she answered in a neutral voice. "I know you've had questions about my life with Joe, yet you haven't pushed me to answer them. Why is that?"
"It's my turn to be patient. You've had questions about my past since we first met, yet you waited until I was ready to answer them. I know you have more questions and you're still not pushing me for the answers, I really do appreciate that. Some things aren't easy to talk about…"
"…or think about." She finished his sentence, as she often did. "I thought that I'd worked through my feelings about Joe…and our past together, but I hadn't…not fully. I've been doing a lot of thinking since the other night, and I've faced some difficult truths." She picked at the biscuit that she'd placed on her plate, but she wasn't actually eating it.
"Amanda, we don't have to discuss this now if you're not ready, like I said earlier, it's my turn to be the patient one."
"He was never good at taking turns." She took a healthy bite of the torn up biscuit.
"Joe?" Maybe, she was ready to talk to him, he hoped so, but he was determined to allow her to set the pace of their conversation.
"Yes, he's a good man, but he's set in his ways, always was. He tends to see things from one point of view, his own. I didn't see it when I first him. We met at a party during my sophomore year at UVA…he was studying law at Georgetown, but you know that from last year…and it's in my Agency file."
"Do you want to talk about what isn't in the file?" He inwardly kicked himself as she quickly looked away from him. "I'm sorry, ignore that question, we don't have to talk about this now."
"I want to." He eyed her skeptically and cocked his head. "Don't look at me that way. I do want to talk to you…I think talking about this out loud might help. I can't talk to Mother about this, maybe I'm selling her short, but I don't think she'd understand. Life was so different when she and Daddy met, the country was a different place…1968 changed everything for our generation."
"That's an understatement!"
"Suddenly, anything seemed possible; my whole life was ahead of me. I was living in the sorority house, away from Mother and Daddy for the first time. All the rules I'd grown up believing in were being challenged on a daily basis. I was torn between hanging on to my parents' values and exploring all the changing mores that were confronting me. I had so many dreams, I believed that I could help change the world for the better, but I wasn't sure where to start. Life on campus was growing increasingly chaotic… equal rights for women, the sexual revolution and the war in Vietnam. I was still figuring out where I stood on the issues, but Joe knew exactly where he stood, and that impressed me."
"Did you share his views?"
"Some yes, some no, but we discussed everything…at first. He thought that he could use his law degree to do bring about good, and I believed that as a journalist I could shine a bright light on the issues that mattered to me. When we weren't in classes on separate campuses, we spent stolen weekends together. We'd have such a good time together and we felt as though our whole lives were ahead of us, but one Friday night changed everything dramatically. I don't regret all that I did that night, but I do regret some of the choices that I made after it."
T.B.C. as soon as real life permits. Thank you for reading!
