Alec lay concealed beneath a tree in Central Park. The weather was warm for early February and he had snuck away from the Institute hours before to be alone. He was still doing poorly regarding his break-up with Magnus, but he was getting a little better. He no longer sought solitude exclusively like he had when he first realize his relationship with Magnus was really over, so that was something.

He still saw Magnus's face all the time. He was still in love with Magnus, and his body still craved Magnus's touch. He was also still trying to avoid Magnus, which had turned out much harder than he thought it would be.

After the incident at the coffee shop, he had seen Magnus several times. Each time felt like a punch in the gut, like a great cosmic hand had knocked the wind out of him.

One such time, Alec had been stupid and wandered to Magnus's apartment building. He stood across the street from the building, staring at it, not even sure if he was really seeing it. He had stood there for hours, not knowing what he hoped to gain. Was he waiting for Magnus to enter or leave the building, hoping for a glimpse of the warlock? Did he just want to be near the building, and by extension, Magnus? Was he hoping Magnus would see him and…what? Talk to him? Chase him off?

Finally, Magnus had looked out the window of his loft, directly at Alec. His face had held surprise at seeing his ex-boyfriend observing his home like a creepy stalker, but when their eyes met, Magnus's expression softened. With a flutter of the curtains, Magnus had disappeared, and, an instant later, so had Alec. He had darted up the street and out of sight, before Magnus could reach the bottom of his staircase and exit his apartment building. Alec didn't know, of course, that Magnus had searched in every direction for a trace of Alec, and had been tempted to perform a tracking spell, before reason caught up with him. If Alec had wanted to talk to him, he wouldn't have ran.

A week later, Alec had been at the Hunter's Moon, giving Luke a message for Maryse. When he left the bar, he had gotten caught in the rain with no cabs in sight. His hair hung limply as rivulets of cold water streamed off the ends. Somehow, inexplicably, Magnus had been there. Alec had been shocked to see Magnus, and even more so when Magnus had made a Portal to his apartment for them. He had accepted, only because he was soaking wet and freezing. Magnus had given him a towel and some dry clothes, and he had gratefully changed with shaking hands. He hadn't been in Magnus's apartment since their break-up, months before. Being there, and not being with Magnus, hurt more than he thought it would.

When he had emerged from the bathroom, warm and dry and comfortable, he had not known what to say to Magnus. The warlock was sitting on his couch, looking just as anxious as Alec felt.

Alec cleared his throat and said, "Thank you." Magnus nodded and waved a dismissive hand, a gesture so achingly familiar it actually caused Alec physical pain. "I suppose I should go," he added hesitantly.

Magnus looked up at that, an unreadable expression on his face. He rose from the couch and looked as if a war was being waged within him. His face was pained, and he didn't speak. In the end, he created another Portal and sent Alec home to the Institute. When Alec was gone, Magnus dropped onto the couch, fighting for breath. He had wanted so badly to kiss Alec, and do a whole lot more than that to the Nephilim.

Now, Alec lay on his back, the watery sun streaming through the trees of his haven in Central Park. He was glamoured and invisible from mundanes, which was a blessing. His mind kept returning to Magnus, to the times they had seen each other recently, but more often than not, to the times when they had actually been together.

He saw Magnus looking with incredulous eyes as he had called Alec a stupid Nephilim and told him, for the first time, that he loved him.

He remembered their first kiss, how his knees had weakened, and he had finally realized what was so fascinating about kissing.

He remembered Paris, and his first time. It had hurt at first, but Magnus had been so patient, so gentle, and it had not taken long before Alec was a blithering, panting mess. Magnus had been amazing, taking his time with Alec, making him feel comfortable, making him feel good. When he'd had his first orgasm, that wasn't self-induced, it had been an indescribable feeling. Magnus's name had fallen from his lips over and over again. To this day, he wasn't sure how Magnus had so much self-restraint that night.

And then they were in that damn subway tunnel. Magnus kissed him, and the witchlight rune stone had flared up brilliantly. He had hoped he and Magnus still had a chance to be together. He had hoped so much. But Magnus had walked away.

Alec realize the weak sunlight was not the only cause for his blurred vision. Tears were pooling in his eyes, and he blinked to flush them away. When he reopened his eyes, he saw Magnus's face, as usual, taking shape before him.

"Kiss me," he whispered, and he felt Magnus's fingers brush his tears away before he leaned in to do just that. The kiss was soft and gentle and Alec parted his lips to breathe in Magnus. Magnus's touch, his kiss, felt so real this time. Too real.

Alec jerked away with a start, his eyes widening as he realized that Magnus was there, he was really there, in the flesh, not just his imagination this time. In his surprise, Alec struggled to get away from Magnus.

"Wh-what are you doing?" Alec spluttered.

"Kissing you. Like you asked me to," Magnus replied as if stating the obvious.

Alec was confused, so confused. He shook his head to try to clear his thoughts. "I thought I was dreaming," he said in a small voice, averting his eyes from Magnus's.

Magnus let out a soft laugh. "You were awake, Alec."

"Daydreaming," Alec clarified. Then, finally meeting Magnus's gaze again, he said, "Why did you do that? What are you even doing here?"

"I saw you laying here and came over. I thought maybe we could talk. But then you looked at me and said 'kiss me' and, I don't know, I just did," Magnus said. He looked conflicted, and Alec suddenly feared he would hear those damn words again. It was a mistake.

Alec pushed Magnus away before Magnus had a chance to break his heart even further. He leapt to his feet with the skillful grace of a Shadowhunter and said, "Stop messing with my head, Magnus." Then he turned on his heel and sprinted away before Magnus had a chance to reply. Magnus's eyes followed him until he was out of sight, then he dropped his head into his hands, a jumble of emotions coursing through him.