Author's notes: Hey all, wow it's been a while for this story. Actually this had been at first intended to be just a one shot fic at Meiling's perception of her relationship. But you guys were right it did end abruptly and defiantly needed some work. So I added on another chapter… don't get to excited its short… plans for this story is it will probably end up being a three part.. the first obviously from Meiling's point, than this part was somewhat in Syaoran's, and the third will most likely be in Sakura's… but that could change so don't hold me to it lol! Well thanks to all who reviewed and I hope you enjoy this part ^ ~!
"I've loved you from the first moment I saw you… but" Meiling started not knowing how to go on.
"Meiling…" Syaoran started he hated that he couldn't make her happy, he felt inadequate as a husband. Meiling should always come first in his mind, but he couldn't lie to himself, he loved Sakura more than anything. He cursed the clan for putting himself and Meiling through such a painful experience. Neither were happy and neither knew if they could rebuild the pieces that had been so thoroughly broken.
"Let met finish or ….I'm never going to be able to." Meiling stated her voice quavering in the middle. Syaoran fell silent watching her wipe her already red tinged eyes. He felt guilty, if only he could love her like he loved Sakura. Meiling was extremely beautiful and bright, and deserved so much more than a man who couldn't love her to full capacity.
"I know you don't love me…" Meiling started again not sure where to go on from there. Syaoran wanted to interject with the statement, but what could he say, she wasn't wrong, he didn't love her how she wanted him to.
"And despite all the time we've been together I know that will never change… you you love Sakura… and and you always have… So I think that we… should… I guess what I'm saying is… we need to break up… if we ever decided to have kids… or continued on in this relationship we would only bring pain to each other…" Meiling explained what had been plaguing both their minds for such a very long time.
"I'm sorry… that I can't love you the way you deserve." Syaoran whispered back as more tears built up in Meiling's eyes.
"It's not your fault… I practically forced you to marry me… Syaoran I'm sorry for that… I should have listened before… I knew it was so obvious that both you and Sakura loved each other… I'm sorry I put you guys through so much… I mean its been how many years and you still love her… God Syaoran I'm so sorry I'm such and awful person." Meiling let the tears she'd been holding back flood down her cheeks. She bowed her head letting her face fall into her hands.
Syaoran moved closer to her wrapping his arms around her in an attempt to comfort her. He had never really blamed her for any of this. He knew despite everything that Meiling only meant good with whatever she did. She had only been blind by love, which is certainly a crime that Syaoran couldn't condemn.
"Shhhh… you're not a bad person… and it's not your fault… don't every think that… We just weren't meant to be together… and I know that's a painful thought for you… and I wish things hadn't turned out this way… but your right we can't continue on like this… We will only destroy each other." Syaoran replied he ran a hand along her back trying to sooth the painful sobs. Meiling nodded as she lifted up her head.
"I was so naïve to try and break you two up." She whispered lightly trying to laugh at the mistakes of her past.
"I wouldn't say naïve…"Syaoran replied running his hands through her hair.
"You should go…" Meiling stated glancing towards the clock.
"Go?" Syaoran asked slightly puzzled. It was 3 am in the morning he really didn't think he had prior engagements.
"To Japan silly… We are breaking off our marriage… You've been away from your true love for far to long. Go to Japan and get her back." Meiling stated kissing Syaoran for the last time.
"Will you be ok?" Syaoran asked letting the worry that showed clearly in his eyes drip into his voice.
"Yes… You need to go." Meiling replied determined not to hold him back anymore. Syaoran hesitated before he stood up, he really didn't think she should be alone, but his presence was probably only causing her pain.
"Thank you Meiling… I know this was hard… and I hope that someday you find the man who you truly belong with." Syaoran gave her one last hug truly hoping she did find her own happiness, but fully knowing that the first step to that was him leaving.
"Me to." She mumbled as the door shut announcing Syaoran's departure. Meiling smiled slightly not quite a full one, but still a smile none the less. Something that she hadn't been able to do in an extremely long period of time. Although the heartache still beat in her chest like a sharp knife piercing through her soul, the pain had somewhat dulled. For the first time in a long time she didn't feel trap, it would take a lot of healing for the pain to go completely away, but Meiling finally felt free. Hope that she would find that person to complete her admitted from her heart, and she was finally happy knowing that Syaoran would be with the person he most loved.
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Syaoran glanced at his lap noticing the mess he had made. His lap was filled with tiny pieces of paper. He sighed lightly he hadn't even noticed he had been ripping up the small paper that had been in his hand. His nerves were defiantly not on his side as butterflies made him feel like he needed to vomit. He hadn't seen Sakura in years and the anticipation was killing him, that wasn't the only thing that had him nervous though. He hadn't been in contact with her either and therefore didn't know anything that had happened to her. He loved her completely and that would never change no matter what, but it had been a long time, could she still feel the same way. What if there was another guy, there could even be a possibility that she was already married.
All these thoughts flew around in Syaoran's already tired mind. After all he had been up all night worrying about Meiling's whereabouts and now he was worrying about whether Sakura was married or not. He sighed again knowing at the rate he was going he would kill himself before he even got to see Sakura. Syaoran ran a hand through his hair deciding it would be better to just worry about all those issues when they came up. There was no need to agonize about Sakura marrying some other guy if there wasn't even another guy. Right now he had to concentrate on getting to sleep, otherwise he'd look like crap when he saw her, and that was defiantly something he didn't want to look like. Syaoran closed his eyes in an attempt to sleep and surprisingly within the hour Syaoran was indeed allowed some peaceful rest. He would certainly need it for the upcoming events that he would have to face.
~~Sora-chan~~
