Hey everyone! I'm kind of disapointed... Two reviews? Anway, i'm sorry i kind of cut this one short compared to the last chapter but i felt bad for not posting in a while and wanted to get something out there. Hopefully you don't hate me for what happens in this chapter or not understand what happens at all. It made sense to me... And i went with something different instead of the usual expected thing to happen in a relationship. Which is where i got the name for the chapter! Anywho! I'm sorry for not posting in a while and i hope you ejoy this. Oh! And i'm also going to start putting quotes before every chapter. Please review guys! Please please please!
"I feel so dead. But when I see your striking face, you shake me back into reality and knock me into the next world."- Anonymous
Have you ever noticed that when you don't want to go to bed, that once you're asleep you don't want to get up either? Well that happened to me this morning. I didn't want to go to sleep last night, afraid that I'll wake up and it'll be Thursday morning instead of Friday and I never talked to Troy. He seemed nice enough yesterday. I think I ought to get to know him a little more, and then we can go from there. Unless he realized who he was dealing with and changed his mind. Which I wouldn't blame him for. Even though my sister never went to East High, some people in the school heard about Lena being locked up. Using locked up while talking about Lena felt so weird. It made her sound like some convict. But people at school probably thought I was the next one to be put in a padded cell, so I couldn't blame Troy if he changed his mind about me.
I would be a little sad, but wouldn't direct any anger towards him. The rumors about me at school must be pretty brutal. At least my friends didn't desert me like some stuck up chicks do in those movies. My main friends like Sarah, Bethany, Taylor and Sharpay stuck with me when things started to get bad. Not that everyone else hates me either. Some kids just think I'm a little over the ordinary weird level because of Lena's issue. Or sometimes I'm named by 'that depressed girls little sister', as I heard one day in the hall. Drama was the main entertainment at school. It didn't get much better than that. When I came into my kitchen. I found a post it note stuck onto the fridge from my parents. They both loved me, would be home by six and, dad says good game last night.
It didn't say anything about visiting Lena though. I wanted to go see her today. I'm almost eighteen; I can go see my sister at Lorning alone, right? I don't think I need my parents to be there. Lena is my sister by blood. I don't think it'll be a problem… I wrote a note excusing myself from the first two hours of school signing my mother's signature impeccably. It's not like I'm skipping school to goof off with boys or get drunk. I'm not even going to skip school; I'm just talking two hours out of it to go see my older sister. There's nothing seriously wrong with that. My parents will never find out of I play this right anyway. When I was pulling into the parking lot, for a second I felt bad about skipping out on three hours of school, but then crushed the guilt away when I headed into the elevator. I never do anything out of the ordinary, so here it goes. When I asked the nurse to see Lena she eyed me for a minute, but then let me in the room quietly.
"Well, hi!" I smiled at my sister as she smiled at me. When my eyes grazed over her face, she didn't look like the type of person who wished they were dead or the type to afflict harm upon themselves. She looked like Lena, the girl who would sneak me out to go snowboarding when mom had grounded me. Lena, the sister who'd grin at me when she got in trouble and make faces at mom to her face. How can someone so spunky and so full of life feel dead? There were so many things I didn't understand about Lena's situation, but I didn't dare ask her. It wasn't something I wanted to ask, afraid she would go too much into detail, or not want to tell me at all.
"Skipping out on school are we?" Lena flipped a card over on her bed, studying the others before choosing one more. It appeared she was playing some sort of car game. By herself. That doesn't look to be much fun. I took a seat on the bed, folding my legs under me and looking around at the cards.
"Not really. What are we playing?" Lena looked at me for a minute, looking like she wanted to say something but held it in anyway. I raised my eyebrows suggestively but she just looked back down at the cards.
"I call it memory. You lay out all the cards in a deck, pick one up, then pick another one randomly and if it's the same card then you can keep them." I saw her small pile of two cards next to her knee. I threw a glance at the clock and picked up a card after Lena.
"This looks strangely entertaining."
"Where've you been?" Taylor raised a dark eyebrow at me from my right side when I slide into the seat next to her. Everyone at the table watched me skeptically, like they suspected I was out selling drugs on the street or something. I could have had a dentist appointment and they wouldn't have known.
"Lorning, I haven't really seen Lena in like two weeks." Everyone nodded right away, getting the picture without having me explain. Most of the girls surrounding me knew it was a tender subject so they didn't bother push me or ask me so much about the topic. It didn't mean they weren't curious, it just meant they didn't want me to feel uncomfortable talking about it. Which I really appreciate.
"You hungry Gabs?" Sarah looked like she was about to pass me over her fries if I said the word, but I stopped her, holding up my palm.
"I ate already. Thanks Sarah, but don't worry about me." The cafeteria seemed to be on the same loud and noisy status. Something was missing though. I couldn't quite put my finger on it,. The big wooden doors opened to reveal two laughing basketball stars strolling through casually. One of them had tight ringlets hanging low on his eyes and the other with sandy-blonde locks and blazing blue eyes. The Abercrombie model looked up first and happened to catch my eye and hold my stare, flashing his bright teeth in a grin at me. The curly haired one strode towards our table coming up behind Taylor.
Troy lingered at his seat with some of the jocks, watching me out of the corner of his piercing blues. I don't know whether it's because his best friend was over here, or because he suddenly has a vague interest in me, but he keeps shooting glances over at me with a smirk slanting across his light pink lips. I really wasn't so sure what to make of it. His face was so hard for me to read. He could be thinking one thing but channel something else out; Troy had a tight grip on the reins when it came to hiding his emotions.
"Hey Gabi." My gaze slid off Troy's tan figure when a voice to my right addressed me. I swiveled the slightest bit in my seat to see Chad smiling at me with his mocha features wrapped around Taylor's shoulders as he stood behind her.
"Hi Chad." I smiled lazily back at him, barely lifting the corners of my lips. Chad and me have talked before, but we're not exactly friends. We don't hate each other either; we kind of just hang out together sometimes because we have some of the same friend groups in common. Watching Taylor and Chad get all lovey dovey made me want to puke. Yet I felt jealous because no one has ever gotten like that with me. My love life was pretty… Nonexistent. But hey, who was counting boyfriends anyway? Chad looked over the other girls and the table.
"Hello ladies." Chad smiled. He cast me a glance and gave an almost unnoticeable head nod towards his usual table. I raise my eyebrows suggestively but he just shrugged me off, setting his attention on his girlfriend underneath his grasp. Before I could stop myself I was turning towards Troy once again. When my eyes fell on him, he'd already been staring at me curiously. What was up with these boys? Were they speaking they're own language I happened to miss in English class? Something small hit me in the shoulder before it fell on my lap. I held up the straw looking around the table.
"Did someone…?"
"Over here, Gabster." Bethany watched me like some addictive reality show.
"Enjoying the view?" My cheeks got warm as I felt the blush creep up on my neck. Does she find pleasure in embarrassing me? Guess so. Can she blame me for peaking looks at the basketball captain when he is clearly a part time Abercrombie model? It's not everyday you get winks and suggestive looks from someone so much higher on the high school food chain than you. How was I supposed to ignore something like this? Bethany herself admitted Troy was something of a catch.
"Well then," She stood from her chair diagonally across from mine, grabbing her purse and slinging it over t-shirt covered shoulder.
"We'll just have to take a trip over there won't we Elle?" If my eyes weren't attached to they're sockets, they might have fallen out. I felt my throat become slightly dry when I tried to get a few words out.
"Wait… huh?!" I stuttered giving her a look of insanity. Did she really want to take a trip to the hospital? I would faint from embarrassment if she dragged me over there and told Troy I liked him. Bethany would always complement me on looking pretty, but I don't think I am Troy Bolton's material.
"Relax would you Gabriella? We're just going to socialize. Don't have a hernia." She coaxed, pulling me from my safe seat next to Taylor. I looked to Chad, then to Taylor silently asking for either of them to save me from Bethany's match making ways. She felt compelled to drag any two people who even the faintest bit liked each other together in a relationship. Some relations she's put together have stuck. Others have not. When I say others, I mean the majority of them did not last. I'm not saying all of them haven't though. My best friend who had sat next to me was living proof that Bethany wasn't all that bad at string tying.
I just don't think trying to get Troy and me together was the smartest move in this situation. We haven't even really talked and Bethany was ready to pick out the theme colors for our wedding if Troy supplied the ring. I can't completely blame her for wanting to put couples together though. When your dad leaves your mom two months after your birth and she then has many one night stands and on and off relationships, you tend to need the sense of true love every once and a while. Even if it's with teenagers and it's only lust, not love. It's still passion. What Bethany really needs is a boyfriend who will challenge her and won't let her step all over him. She needs someone as spontaneous as she is. Then hopefully she won't try to mess with everyone else's personal life.
"Try to breath a little Gab. It keeps your face from getting green." Bethany remarked wittily before we reached the table full of jocks. I hesitated warily but she tugged me hastily towards the teenage boys sitting around the big table. I could feel Troy's eyes on me, but didn't look his way. Bethany was standing to Troy's right and I was next to Zack Martin, East High's football team captain.
"Nice game last night Gabi." His blonde hair was sticking up in odd places, making him look more attractive. I didn't feel anything personal for Zack, but he was still pretty hot.
"Thanks Za-" My shoulder was pulled roughly to bring me around to face Troy, Nic and Damian. I smiled weakly and gave Bethany a look. That girl better watch herself or she'll get smacked. As if she read my mind, she rolled her eyes and curved an arm around my waist.
"So what's you boys think of the game last night?" She was looking at Damian and Nic almost as if she was leaving Troy to me. Well gee thanks for the generous offer Beth, I thought bitterly. Troy smiled like he was amused by our silent bickering and leaned back in his chair.
"You two make a pretty hot team." Damian said looking at me first, then Bethany with a smirk. I returned my gaze to Troy's face, and I swore I saw him go green with envy. Troy Bolton could not be jealous of my attention… Could he? No, not possible. I don't know why I'm even going to put myself through this when I know in the end it's going to turn out bad. I can feel it in my gut when I look at Troy. There's definitely something there, and it's not good.
"Thanks Dame, but I'm nothing without Gabi's skills." Bethany flashed a smile at me, baring her teeth. I don't know if this was her way of socializing but it sounded like she was putting me up on the market, waiting for someone to take a bite. Suddenly I felt used. Troy's probing eyes watched my face, making me feel like more like a dog than a human being. It was like I was the puppy and they were the people, watching me walk around with wonder. Or like I'd just become potty trained and was being praised for not peeing on the rugs. I stared down at my converse shoes while Bethany half flirted with the boys, me kind of tuning her voice out of my head. Bethany was one of my really great friends, and I love her, she just needs to let things happen on they're own instead of constantly pushing things.
A warm hand wrapped around my wrist and started to pull me away while Bethany's arm slipped off my waist and fell to her side. I saw the back of a black sweatshirt before I saw the million dollar smile glance back at me from over his shoulder. I could feel my eyebrows creasing together while Troy pulled me along, not saying anything. Where was he taking me? Well not like it mattered or anything. Troy could lead me onto a battlefield and I would follow without hesitating once. He was just so… Beautiful. It's a word usually used to describe girls but Troy was simply that. There isn't another word I could think of that would describe the boy practically holding my hand now. Something is so magnificent about him that made me want to just sink into his skin just and stay there. Funny how I barely know him, and yet I would trust him with my life. T
he god like boy lead me through a huge door and up some stairs, opening my eyes up to the slightly cloudy day that it was outside. We stood on the roof of the school, watching traffic go by outside the schools parking lot. I could see my favorite mountain to snowboard on from here, and unexpectedly felt like I was standing on it's snowy top. The brisk air nipped at the short sleeves of my band tee. But it wasn't the cold air that made me shiver. It was the feeling that pumped through my veins like a rush of blood while I stood with Troy. I stared at the mountain trying to fight off the shivers that were desperately trying to ripple through my abdomen. Troy's cerulean eyes froze over me whilst he stared. I shivered again.
"Here." Troy shrugged out of his black zip up sweatshirt and slid it over my shoulders. His intoxicating smell filled my nose while warmth spread over my shoulders and down my back. Why did he have to smell so good? He smiled at me in his long sleeved shirt, stuffing his hands into his jean pockets.
"Thanks…" I mumbled keeping my gaze low. I couldn't think of anything to say to Troy. Nothing crossed my mind at all, it was bone dry. His eyes were burning a whole through my head.
"I heard about your sister." My head snapped up to glance upon him when he said this. He looked away from my eyes, staring at the same mountain I had before. What did he think he was getting at?
"Go ahead, say it." Something inside me snapped. Cyan pierced through my brown eyes, flooding them like a tsunami.
"Say what?"
"Say you're sorry about her situation. Say your sorry I have to go through this." My fingernails dug into the palm of my hand through Troy's black sweatshirt. Was he intentionally trying to make fun of me? Did he cook up this sick joke with his friends in order to embarrass me? Was I really that gullible to fall for his act?
"I wasn't going to say I was sorry." I looked in the opposite direction of his smoldering eyes purposefully. You can only lie your way so far.
"Gabriella." I turned back to him with glazed eyes. Did he think he could mess with me just because he was the 'most popular guy in school'? Troy Bolton, definitely jerk.
"Whoa, just hang on a minute there, Brie. I wasn't going to pity you."
"Why'd you bring me up here anyway?" Troy kept his eyes low to the ground, kicking at a rock with his shoes uneasily. The boy needs to make up his mind because he's sending me mixed signals.
"Fine." My legs turned me around to leave but Troy grabbed my hand, preventing me from doing so. What was his problem? People usually don't have a hard time getting something through to me. Troy certainly had something he wanted to say, so why not just say it. It can't be that bad. He won't be bringing me anywhere I haven't been.
"I…" He sighed frustratingly and clenched a fist into a ball with the hand that wasn't holding my own hand. Troy's palm began to get slick in mine. Why is he nervous?
"Troy, if you don't have anything to say, I'd like to go." His hand gripped mine tighter and his eyes became fixed upon mine. I don't think he was even blinking anymore.
"I really like you Gabriella." I gawked at him like he was a three headed monster picking flowers. I need to get the shit out of my ears because I swear I just heard something completely insane.
"What?"
"I really like you…"
"I'm… sorry what?"
"Gabriella," Troy's hands gripped my shoulders, his face close enough to mine that his cool breath tickled my nose. "I. Really. Like. You." I shook my head no, shrugging his hands off my shoulders. My feet did the first thing they could process, sprinting as fast as they could away, down the steps, and through the door. No, Troy Bolton does not like me. He. Does. Not. Like. Me. Why is it that I swooned over him but now that he says he likes me back, I can't find myself staying in one place.
Why does the idea of him wanting me just as bad as I wanted him scare the shit out of me? Reality was like a bitch slap in the face. I feel like I just had a nightmare and was scrambling in the dark to find my parents room. I sank down onto the floor in a breathing fit. It was like I forgot how to breathe, the air I was desperately trying to suck in not going through my windpipe to my starving lungs. My chest heaved against my knees in a fetal position and I couldn't feel myself sitting on the floor. All thoughts were wiped clean from my head, the night I found Lena cutting herself replacing my vision.
"Lena what are you doing?" She looked up at me with a wicked twisted grin, blood streaming from her wrist, ruining the carpet and her clothes all at once.
"You should try this Giovanni. You'd like it."
"Gabriella!"
"Mom! Dad! Lena, what is wrong with you?! Why are you doing this to yourself?" Lena smiled ruefully at me her eyes rolling back into her head as her body crashed to the tile, lying motionlessly. I scrambled for a phone hitting 9-1-1 with my shaking fingers.
"9-1-1 what's you emergency?"
"Gabriella, breathe. In your nose and out through your mouth!"
"My sister! Sh-she cut her wrist open and is bleeding all over the place! S-s-she passed out on the floor and isn't waking up! Please help me… Help me… Please."
My whole body felt like it was frozen solid, incapable of moving. Voices swarmed me but one stood out from the rest. It was next to my ear, it's body holding me against its chest. Two hands pressed against me, thawing the brutal ice that burned onto my skin. I pried my eyes open to see faces trying to get a look at me. Troy had me cradled against his chest and was doing his best to shield me from everyone except Taylor, Chad, Bethany, Sarah and Sharpay.
"Ella, oh thank god." Sharpay pushed hair from my face while she sighed in relief. I didn't feel all right. Everyone was staring at me and I just relived the worst night of my life. Why did that happen? After Troy said he liked me… I just… freaked out. So on top of that, I had a new subject I was going to have to talk about with my new shrink mom was going to make me go to. She would definitely make me go at least three times a week now. I could hear her now. 'You fainted from stress I really think it's a good idea.' Troy held onto me while I crushed my face into his chest. I wish everyone would just disappear. Well not everyone. There is one person who seemed to set me off, that also calmed me down who I'd want to stay.
"Brie…" I moved my eyes to look up at him. "I'm really sorry if that was my fault…" I shook my head no and hid my head in his shoulder.
"Come on Troy. Let's get her to the nurse." Sharpay was stroking my hair whilst I sat in Troy's lap. He began to stand, holding me easily in his arms.
