Chapter 1: Direction: the past.
"Have I found you?
Flightless bird, jealous, weeping or lost you, American mouth
Big pill looming"
Iron & wine Flightless bird.
The melody and lyrics suddenly filled my car as I kept on driving. So I let them whisper to my heart and soul, and they took me to the past; just like a portal.
I was taken a hundred years back: A young and plain teenage girl was madly in love with her vampire boyfriend. She was more than happy; it was not an easy love, she was aware of that but she was willing to fight for him, for both of them. She was convinced that everything in life that we had to fight for, were certainly the great things that could happen to us, but only if we showed that we were worth it. That we deserved it. So that's what she did; she even kept on fighting after he'd left her. Her choices finally killed her, when one night she secretly went to what she called her "happy place", to be mysteriously murdered, leaving her parents mourning the loss of their one and only daughter.
As the song ended, my phone sang I'm yours by Jason Mraz bringing me back to the present. I smiled knowingly. He probably changed his ringing tone while I was preparing my bag. I couldn't help my laugh as I answered, but he didn't let me talk first. "I finally hear my ringing bells. I missed you". I realized that I needed something to take me out of my anxious state of mind, so I was thankful that he called. "Thank you" I said. He didn't answer, so I guess he knew the real reason why I thanked him. "You know that kind of game you play with my name is really lame. You should stop it." I asked willing to change the subject and erase the growing tension between us. "Right and saying a rhyming phrase is not." He answered ironically. "Besides, I know you love it" He added playing along, which I was grateful for. "That I do, but don't tell anyone; I have a reputation to keep" We laughed together. "I love you" I said truthfully. "I know" He replied "Keep that in mind when you come back home". His words suddenly made me worried "Is everything alright back there? Are Lizzie and Alex fighting again? I mean if I have to come back I will. This trip can wait; I mean..." he cut me off "Marybell; I love you; everything's fine." "Oh yeah, so fine, that we didn't eat properly today, that he doesn't even know how to train us or handle doodle dee and deedle dum for a minute, and if things are keep going that way, it's not the world that I'm going to kill, it's the universe !" I heard Taylor say behind the phone… she kept going "Let me talk to her Isaac!" She didn't seem quite happy but then again, we were talking about Taylor the temper. I heard a bit more fight, and then Isaac's voice came back to my ear anxiously "You see how fine everything is? It's like you aren't even gone. Totally normal" I couldn't help but chuckle "Just make sure no one's dead by the time I'm back. As for the trainings, I left some video tapes for each one of them and for their abilities on the desk in my office. Tell them to do it properly; I want to see some progress when I come back. And for the food, for everyone's sake, please… Stop cooking honey; just order pizza or Chinese; they'll love you more that way… believe me: they'll be grateful that you let them live that long, and so will I. It's really not the time to kill them. Oh and tell Lizzie to keep an eye on the Volturis... " Isaac stopped my rambling "Sweetie… it will be okay… I feel it… the vampire royalty definitely feels more vulnerable than ever now that we've killed two of their most precious servants. Since the loss of Jane and Chelsea Aro feels weaker than ever. They won't react before a while. We'll be more than ready when it happens." "It's not a reason to relax, it's totally the opposite, I know you're the one who feels here, but this mission is getting heavier and heavier each second, and I really need everyone to stay focus… especially you Isaac." "I will if you stop your bossy bell's mode." I rolled my eyes "I hear you" he said. "What the hell are you talking about?" "I hear you roll your eyes from here." "I'm serious Isaac, I'm worried" I wasn't feeling light enough to laugh about anything right now. "I know, and I'm sorry… I love you; Aaron calls me I have to go. Call me when you're there. Charlie isn't pissed at you, he's actually been pretty sad during your long absence. He missed you a lot." A single tear fell from my eye before I knew it, as the feeling of guilt invaded my heart. "Thank you for secretly keeping an eye on him when I wasn't willing to" I sniffed. "You're welcome sweetheart. I'll lie to you whenever you want. I have to go, Aaron is waiting. Charlie cares and he's worried; last time I checked, he still loves you. He'll be shocked but happy to see you back home. I'll talk to you later." His voice was gone before I could even answer; leaving me alone again, with the anger, guilt, worries and pain, that kept me company through the last century. Not even the presence of my "new family" could replace what I had before.
Afraid to provoke an accident, I decided to stop at the next rest area to take something to eat, and compose myself. I parked my class C Mercedes on the parking lot and got out to get some fresh air. I realized how tired and hungry I was, after a half-day of drive. As I was entering the gas station shop, I saw a little girl walking hand in hand between her two parents as they got out of their car, and couldn't help but think I used to be that girl. She seemed happy, like I was. I hoped for her that she wouldn't discover years later what a lie her life has been. I hope they didn't hide anything from her. That her happiness was genuine and not based from an illusion.
I was about to grab an Italian sandwich on the shelf, when the call of a dying soul getting closer and closer to me turned my eyes into emerald green; the animal I was, was erasing the tiny ounce of humanity I still had. I turned around, to see the "happy father" of earlier, on my left side, about to buy some cigarettes. A dying soul was always more appealing to our kind than a plain sandwich, but we decided a long time ago, in the White family, that we wouldn't kill souls, we'd save them as long as they were willing to be saved. Othniel, one of the first destroying angels once said that "life is for fighters", so we kept that in mind ever since. That's why I looked pointedly at the man, calling for his glance; once he answered my call, his soul opened widely to let me in and I saw his lung cancer patiently, and happily killing him while smiling triumphantly at me, as if to tell me that it was too late. Resignation and pain seemed to be helping him to get his job done quicker. There was no fight in there, no life, nothing left to do. I couldn't save him; I watched defiantly his cancer, and destroyed his soul, eating it. His eyes got me out, and I saw his weakness coming with his death. I was sad for the little girl I saw earlier, her dad would die in less than a week because he refused to fight for his life. He refused to live. After that unexpected mission, I left the rest area, and got back on the road.
Looking for something to calm me down, I let Louis Armstrong tell me what a wonderful world this one actually is. Mr. Armstrong voice wasn't only singing a song, he was also singing the biggest fat lie that humanity believed in; I couldn't help but wonder who he was trying to convince: himself or to the rest of the universe. Honestly, if this world was that beautiful, my kind wouldn't even exist; we were made to heal the world from all its sickness. Destroying angels were made to build a better world with those who still wanted to be part of it. The only thing my kind destroyed was darkness. I would say my kind was the biggest irony, or joke of life: we were made to build the world by destroying some parts of it. Destroy to build: that was our mission. The biggest and most dangerous one would be coming soon. I was coming to the past, in forks, to prepare it. I needed to talk to the wolves; I needed to prepare them for the upcoming fights; I was wondering who the new chief was, since Jake and his friends must have died a while ago. The shape-shifters where only made protect people from the kind that shouldn't have existed: vampires; if the latter didn't exist, the Quileute's ability would have no reason to be. The Cullen family left way before me; Jacob and his so called brothers must have been relieved to take their normal teenagers lives back, before dying
Tired of thinking so much, I decided to enjoy my loneliness and the lasts uneventful hours I'd have before a long time. A bit more than a half day later, the "Welcome to forks!" sign brought me to the past, in Bella swan's life, but also to this world's possible future, or end.
