Disclaimer: I only own the idea on which this is leading to(: Not the saga or characters.
AN: Ok, so THANK YOU to those who reviewed, the fact you showed interest inspired me to post up this next chapter. I hope you like it(: I really am in love with this story I'm creating, please show me your support too! :D
Leah's POV;
He kissed me.
I don't know why but weirdly, I liked it. It was intense and passionate.
The thoughts of us being here and doing this and Reneesme in the future made me hesitant.
I pulled back a little, enough to separate our lips but keep our foreheads together.
"Jake.."
Then out of the bush came another rumbling.
It was Sam.
Leah's POV;
We reacted quickly as a natural instinct, playing it off as if nothing had happened. How could we of not have heard him? I suppose our "defenses" weren't too attuned at the moment. But now we were all here, faced with an awkward situation.
Sam took a couple of steps forward.
His eyes shifted from me to Jacob and from Jacob to me, "Did I interrupt something?"
"No, no, no, not at all." For trying to play this one off Jacob wasn't being very good at it.
Sam's timing was all off; it would have been adequate if he would have walked in a couple of minutes later, maybe even seconds. But the unfortunate event of Sam's arrival at this point wasn't the only thing swirling in my mind.
How was he here? I mean, how did he know where I was. Probably Quil or Embry told him. I'd get them soon enough.
"Jacob… can I talk to her. Alone, please."
A humph escaped my lips.
"Anything you need to tell me, you can say in front of Jacob." I looked at Sam as he threw a cold look towards Jacob.
With a wide grin, he responded, "No, its fine". He was always trying to lighten the mood, what a ray of rainbow light. "I need to go hunt anyways, I'm pretty hungry." He continued to baffle things as he made his way out of the clearing into the deep lush of green.
"What do you want?" I said in a monotone with a clear hint of annoyance.
"Please Leah ..." He took one step forward, I took one back.
He sighed.
He looked abnormally vulnerable to me, to the extent where I realized that I'd almost forgotten he could even look like this. The only thing I ever saw in him was authority and … sympathy. I hadn't seen this side of him in a very long time.
"We have to talk. Leah, don't make me beg."
"About what?" I said in a high sadistic voice.
"Everything!" He instantly replied with the same pitch.
He took a deep breath trying to calm himself, then attempted to take another step towards me. This time, I didn't move, not even when I felt a faint touch on my arm, "Can we please just talk, just allow me a minute."
I didn't really know what to say to him, because if I would have said what I really wanted to, I was afraid of seeming… fragile. I only found it in me to stare into his eyes. I wasn't sure what happened next. I saw him move to sit on a nearby log and before I knew it I was sitting right next to him, so closely that I felt the heat of his body.
"Look I know that there are some obvious negative tensions, I can feel them-"
"I'm over it Sam." I interrupted his statement knowing where he was headed, even if it was partially true. "I'm … happy for you and for Emily."
"Really?" He asked with a reaction on his face that indicated his shock.
"Yeah." I answered with reassurance.
"Time to be honest." He said as if giving me a chance to change my current answer. I kicked a rock that was on the floor as I collected my thoughts.
"Look Sam …" I started and turned a little to the left so that the shadows could hide the expression I knew would soon sweep my face.
"It hurt. It hurt so much. But that was back then. It completely broke my heart—it tore me apart." I stood up, making sure to face away from him as I continued. "It was like, like, I couldn't put the pieces of my heart back together. Like it was a puzzle and when I finally thought that I figured it out, it fell apart. Words, they don't even … they don't adequately describe how much I hurt. How much I tried to … hide … my pain and seem indifferent."
I turned to face him revealing the warm tears that ran down my cheeks. He stood up and tried to interrupt me but I raised my voice to continue. "But that's the past, I'm over the fact you and Emily are engaged. And you know what? I fu**ing hate you Sam. I have for a long time. But, for a long time, I've loved you just as much and I've only wanted the best for you, even if what's best for you doesn't involve me. That love was so much greater and it still is. It's that, that love just isn't the kind of love it initially was."
I was in awe of myself, for completely opening up my wounds to find some way to permanently seal them up once and for all. But what surprised me the most was the relief that I felt after I poured my heart out and broke my gold rule of doing precisely what I was at the moment. No action comes without consequence, I felt the pain of my wounds shoot in my chest, it felt like someone was taking away my air. I couldn't believe Sam was seeing me like this. Don't get me wrong, I didn't intend on having a total melt down in front of him, I had to retain at least a smidge of poise.
Inevitably, the worst happened. My knees gave out, I sank to the floor in an instant, and in that instant I also felt his arms cradle me. I searched his face for an expression of any sort. I found his eyes to gleam, as if by the production of tears. He looked muffles, like he wanted to say something but the words didn't quite come out. In the midst of the water that seemed to obstruct both of our eyes I felt the warm touch of his lips kiss my forehead. A witty move. Even for him.
He took my face in his hands and looked directly into my eyes. Some notion in me, knew that whatever he was going to tell me, was going to home from his heart.
"Leah listen to me, I have never, ever stopped loving you. Not for one second. You are such an important part of my life: past and present. I can't just discard you, or any thought of you… Trust me, I tried. I tried to move on and not beat myself up about it but in the end I couldn't. To his day I can't bare to know that I'm the causation of all the pain you feel. All I need to know is that you're going to be ok." He waited in silence for the answer I never spoke. "… Lee-Lee?" Lee-Lee, even wittier. It had been long since that word came out of his very own lips.
"Does Emily know you're here?"
"Yeah, she knows that I've been looking for you. She was just as worried. She loves you too, you know? She finds it disturbingly unfortunate that things are the way they are."
Already knowing the answer, "You really love her huh?"
"Deeply. Not entirely by choice, but everything happens for a reason."
"What if you would have had a choice?"
He thought about it for a second.
"I wouldn't have hurt you. I can't lie and say that I'm unhappy loving Emily. But, in the end, whom ever I was meant to be with is who I'd be happy with."
"So, I guess now I know that we weren't meant for each other then."
He shrugged his shoulders, "Maybe not." There was a momentary pause. "But, have you ever thought that maybe you're going through all this suffering and heartbreak so that you can appreciate whatever guy you end up with? Because I bet he'd be better for you than me, and he'd be your own paradise. Perhaps our ancestors are saving someone special for you."
I processed each word he spoke with speed. I understood what Sam meant and it made sense. The thing was that I was impatient but, his little sermon planted a seed of hope for a better future. Hope I needed, hope that Sam gave me.
"Do you believe in destiny? Or in free will?" I asked with utter anticipation that he could provide me with a hope felt answer.
"I think there's a balance. There are some things that we can't control because they are preordained to happen as determined by those with a higher power. For example, the fact that you are born a man or a women, the family you're born in to, maybe even who you love, things like that. But they also leave us choices in which we have the free will to make a decision. Ultimately, our choices shape the destiny that is laid out for us. The higher power knows the choices we will make even before we do. It's all balance, Lee-Lee. You can't have good without evil because you'd never know the distinction, you can't know happiness without sorrow, and you can't have love without hate..."
It suddenly seemed like common sense. I think deep down I knew all the things he told me, were what I believed. So now I came to the conclusion that Sam had faced me with the revelation that I did in fact believe and hope. All that was left for me to do was wait for the physical representation of hope to show itself to me.
I hadn't realized that I was mute during his whole speech until I noticed that he was trying to get my attention.
"Hey, are you listening?"
"What? Oh, yeah. I am, I'm just making sense of everything.
You know Sam, I really am happy for you, because you have already found your hope, you've found Emily. You have that happiness, I may … never have."
Great, it was all coming back. All the thoughts and the memories were coming back to torment me. That was it, this conversation was over. I had made enough of a fool of myself in front of him, showing this pathetic weakness.
"Leah, don't think like that. You're an amazingly stunning, beautiful, young girl."
"But what's that matter? Huh? Better than anyone, you know that I may never be normal again. I may never have the gift of bringing a new life into the world. Never."
He hugged me as the tears began to form up again.
"You don't know that for sure… I'm sorry. I am Lee-Lee, you also know that none of us chose this."
Oh yeah that was original. But I must say, I kind of appreciated that he cared enough to try and make things right between us.
"You're a strong girl. I know you can figure this out."
I pulled back a little from the embrace we were in and found a lock on his eyes. I was almost certain that my feelings for him were no longer romantically inclined and that the love I felt for him was on a different level now.
May Emily forgive me for what I was about to do…
"I have to know Sam."
"What—"
I cut him off with a kiss. He didn't pull back; he just kind of took it. I pushed the kiss further with a hint of intensity, this made him react a little. I searched for every possible feeling that could have been running through my mind as our lips intertwined like so long along. Memories rushed, but that was all, just memories of things I used to feel.Finally, I broke off the kiss.
"Leah, you shouldn't have."
"No Sam." I started laughing at my realization. He looked at me peculiarly with curious eyes.
"That's just it Sam. It, it didn't hurt and ache like I thought it would. I didn't feel that, special thing I used to. I love you, but in a different way, do you understand me?"
I got up and helped him up as I examined his confused expression. That was the proof I needed, my small test had concluded to a favorable outcome. My heart was healing, it was mending.
"Thank you, Sam." I hugged him tight. He was still slightly puzzled, but I knew he would understand it soon enough.
It was incredible how, in the middle of all this sorrow I felt a tinge of happiness. I was happy that I could truly, selflessly be happy for Sam and Emily. Happy that the hope for finding that physical representation of hope was now an open option in my heart.
"I just know now, that I can move on Sam, I know that I can now truly be happy for you and for Emily. Oh, and please just don't mention, you know, this. It was just a, test. Tell her everything else if you please and let her know that I love her, in spite of everything. And also let her know that I apologize and hope she forgives me, can you forgive me Sam?"
It didn't take him half a second to answer me. "There was never anything for me to forgive you over."
I smiled at knowing that unlike me, he was able to move forward without resentment.
I eloquently shifted topics as we both slowly came to terms that all of what had just happened was, real.
"What's the latest news on my mother?"
He looked down on me sympathetically. "Last I heard she was still the same. Not getting worse but, not getting better either. As soon as I found out what had happened I came to look for you. We were all so worried about you."
"We?" I asked trying to give the word a definition of people to whom he might indicate.
"Me, Emily, Quil, Embry, Paul, Jared, Jacob." He put an emphasis on that last name, so much that it seemed like he had called him. Sure enough he appeared in seconds.
Sam hugged me, "I'm glad that things are, better." He smiled at me. "I have to get back and check up on Emily. If anything, I'm here for you Lee-Lee. Don't forget." He gestured a goodbye at Jacob and shifted into his wolf form taking off.
Jacob had a dress in his hand, a simple thing in a shade of off-white with minimal beading on the hem.
"Lee-lee? Since when does he feel so free to call you that?" He asked as he handed me the dress.
"You can say that we straightened things out. It's a long story, I'll tell you later." I slipped on the dress as he continued, "As much as I know we'd all hate to get you covered up. You're not a public exhibit for other guys." He smiled as he joked.
"Thanks" I said with an equally wide smile and hugged him. "I'm so glad you're smiling again Leah. I'm very glad because I have to tell you something."
I let go of him a little afraid of what I was about to hear next. "What are you talking about?" My smile faded as a more serious expression ran across my face. He hugged me again, "When I went back, Carlisle, he told me that… he's not entirely sure that Sue will … keep breathing tomorrow…"
AN: Feedback or reviews or whatever hehee are appreciated. Thank you so much for reading! I appreciate it :D Hope you guys liked this chapter, here's a little preview of the next chapter !
Chapter 3 Preview;
JACOBS POV: Carlisle started explaining to me, "There is severe brain damage, one of the major arteries that provides oxygen to her brain is about to rupture... we need to operate right now."
"Right now?" I asked hoping to know if by "right now" he meant that while we talked he could actually be helping her.
"Nessie!" She leapt up into my arms and that feeling of overprotection came over me, like I had an urge to guard her from anything and everything. It was a feeling I knew was useless to fight.
LEAH'S POV: "Promise me you'll be here when I get out... I can't face this night alone. Wondering if my mom's going to make it... Jake stay, tonight. Please..." I started rambling on...
He took me into a tight embrace. "Hey, hey, it's ok. I'll stay tonight and whenever you need me."
I kissed his cheek, "Thank you Jake."
"No need. Anyways, I was kind of hoping you'd ask me to stay..."
Next Chapter UP SOON!
