A/N: Chapter 2: The Rules

Disclaimer: Still don't own 'em. Sure wish I did!

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Gibbs has these 'Rules'

You'll want to take down,

They've never been written

So, this remedy, I've found!

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To help remember the numbers

Hey, now. Don't fret!

He can get really grumpy if you tend to forget.

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Pay attention, now children!

I'll give you the list.

It's subject to change

But none have I missed.

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The Rules—as I know them

Rule # 1 is confusing,

Just wait. You will see.

Why I've broken it down

Into Rule 1 'A' and 1"B'

One 'A' involves suspects

But, unlike birds of a feather,

Never, no never, let them stay together!

One 'B' is the Boss man's

Own special blend,

Don't screw (over) your partner,

Be true to the end!

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Rule 2 is so easy,

Listen up now, my loves!

At crime scenes be certain to always wear gloves!

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Rule 3 is a split one: another great fright!

3 'A' is be reachable— by day or by night.

3'B' is a good one,

Clever and bold,

Don't assume what you've heard

Double check what you're told.

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Rule 4's a bit longer,

Complicated, but true

Eyes on me, people! It's important to you!

Keeping a secret

Is really not fun

But the key to the trick

Is to tell, well,

NO ONE!

But if it is proper

And if keeping it sucks;

You can tell one other person,

Only then, if you must!

There are no more options—

Give it a rest.

When it comes to a secret,

There is no third best!

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Rules 5 and 6 have gone off the grid

I truly know not as to why they are hid,

I'm sure they are waiting

Caught in the net,

The almighty Gibbs

Hasn't told us just yet!

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Rule 7's not my favorite—

I find lying horrific!

But, if you're going to do it,

At least be specific!

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Eight is a wise one,

Often confused with rule 3,

(They are very similar, I'd have to agree)

Here it is on its own

Not original, just slanted

Whatever/Whoever—take nothing for granted!

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Nine can be tricky

But it can save your life

Guns run out of bullets:

Always carry a knife!

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Ten and Eleven still are not marked

Someday, they'll be lighted,

But –for now—they are darked!

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Rule 12's a revision

From what I've been told,

Scuttlebutt gossip—both young and old!

Be it your true love,

(Or just dropping your pants)

Gibbs has a big "No, No!"

About office romance.

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Okay, I admit it, while hanging my head

I haven't been told,

And I even asked Fred!

(He's worked here for ages,

If they'd been uttered, he'd have told)

But 13 and 14, I have yet to behold.

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Fifteen is a challenge,

We must plan, think, and scheme,

To catch slimy dirt bags--

We must work as a team!

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Sixteen and seventeen are somewhere,

To be honest, I'm miffed!

Just wait; we will find them,

'Til then, we are stiffed!

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Eighteen is useful,

I've used it outright!

To navigate protocol, rules, and the like.

If it calls for quick action; what's best for the mission

Do it!

Ask for forgiveness, instead of permission!

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Rules 19 to 21, I don't have a clue,

But it leads us, at least,

To Rule 22!

We've all seen him in action,

He glowers and glares

(If I were a bad guy—I'd crack under the stare)

At times he has twisted the occasional limb

If Gibbs is in interrogation—

Don't bother him!

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Twenty-three is the last one

Of the ones that I know,

I'm sure there are more

As I find out-- you'll know!

Caffeine is a godsend

The best gift to give

Mess with a Marines coffee?

You're not gonna live!

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That's it for the 'Rules'

The ones to write down,

There are others of course,

I pause for a frown.

They are more like 'proverbs'

A word to the smart,

Some of them are silly;

Some close to my heart.

I think I'll include them,

At least, the best few

I hope they can help us

Remember what—and what not—to do!

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Man! I hope I did't miss any of the 'Rules'--if I did, I'm sure someone will let me know! Would you like to read the 'Proverbs'?