A/N: Chapter 2: The Rules
Disclaimer: Still don't own 'em. Sure wish I did!
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Gibbs has these 'Rules'
You'll want to take down,
They've never been written
So, this remedy, I've found!
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To help remember the numbers
Hey, now. Don't fret!
He can get really grumpy if you tend to forget.
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Pay attention, now children!
I'll give you the list.
It's subject to change
But none have I missed.
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The Rules—as I know them
Rule # 1 is confusing,
Just wait. You will see.
Why I've broken it down
Into Rule 1 'A' and 1"B'
One 'A' involves suspects
But, unlike birds of a feather,
Never, no never, let them stay together!
One 'B' is the Boss man's
Own special blend,
Don't screw (over) your partner,
Be true to the end!
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Rule 2 is so easy,
Listen up now, my loves!
At crime scenes be certain to always wear gloves!
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Rule 3 is a split one: another great fright!
3 'A' is be reachable— by day or by night.
3'B' is a good one,
Clever and bold,
Don't assume what you've heard
Double check what you're told.
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Rule 4's a bit longer,
Complicated, but true
Eyes on me, people! It's important to you!
Keeping a secret
Is really not fun
But the key to the trick
Is to tell, well,
NO ONE!
But if it is proper
And if keeping it sucks;
You can tell one other person,
Only then, if you must!
There are no more options—
Give it a rest.
When it comes to a secret,
There is no third best!
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Rules 5 and 6 have gone off the grid
I truly know not as to why they are hid,
I'm sure they are waiting
Caught in the net,
The almighty Gibbs
Hasn't told us just yet!
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Rule 7's not my favorite—
I find lying horrific!
But, if you're going to do it,
At least be specific!
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Eight is a wise one,
Often confused with rule 3,
(They are very similar, I'd have to agree)
Here it is on its own
Not original, just slanted
Whatever/Whoever—take nothing for granted!
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Nine can be tricky
But it can save your life
Guns run out of bullets:
Always carry a knife!
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Ten and Eleven still are not marked
Someday, they'll be lighted,
But –for now—they are darked!
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Rule 12's a revision
From what I've been told,
Scuttlebutt gossip—both young and old!
Be it your true love,
(Or just dropping your pants)
Gibbs has a big "No, No!"
About office romance.
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Okay, I admit it, while hanging my head
I haven't been told,
And I even asked Fred!
(He's worked here for ages,
If they'd been uttered, he'd have told)
But 13 and 14, I have yet to behold.
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Fifteen is a challenge,
We must plan, think, and scheme,
To catch slimy dirt bags--
We must work as a team!
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Sixteen and seventeen are somewhere,
To be honest, I'm miffed!
Just wait; we will find them,
'Til then, we are stiffed!
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Eighteen is useful,
I've used it outright!
To navigate protocol, rules, and the like.
If it calls for quick action; what's best for the mission
Do it!
Ask for forgiveness, instead of permission!
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Rules 19 to 21, I don't have a clue,
But it leads us, at least,
To Rule 22!
We've all seen him in action,
He glowers and glares
(If I were a bad guy—I'd crack under the stare)
At times he has twisted the occasional limb
If Gibbs is in interrogation—
Don't bother him!
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Twenty-three is the last one
Of the ones that I know,
I'm sure there are more
As I find out-- you'll know!
Caffeine is a godsend
The best gift to give
Mess with a Marines coffee?
You're not gonna live!
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That's it for the 'Rules'
The ones to write down,
There are others of course,
I pause for a frown.
They are more like 'proverbs'
A word to the smart,
Some of them are silly;
Some close to my heart.
I think I'll include them,
At least, the best few
I hope they can help us
Remember what—and what not—to do!
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Man! I hope I did't miss any of the 'Rules'--if I did, I'm sure someone will let me know! Would you like to read the 'Proverbs'?
