"We thank you, General O'Neill. You have been very generous and the Valaran people look forward to our new friendship with the people of earth." High Councilor Damla was seated beside Jack at the final banquet, held in honor of the treaty that had just been signed.
Jack had found the visit to be enjoyable and the Valaran people to be friendly and kind. He'd been a little worried when he'd been told about the importance they put on protocol, but it actually hadn't turned out badly. Unlike some peoples he'd visited, their idea of protocol was more that things were done in an orderly fashion and that the right people were at the table to make decisions. They didn't do crazy things like make people wear a certain color or bow three times or all that crap. No, the Valarans were surprisingly relaxed about most things.
In fact, Jack laughed to himself, they were almost a little too relaxed for him – which was really saying something! They had reached a stage of technological advancement ahead of earth's many centuries before and then had decided to simply stop. They spent all their time and energy on enjoying life, rather than in trying to discover new things or work out solutions to new problems. That was the reason they were in the trouble they were in now.
They had relied, for generations, on the technology built by their ancestors. It worked well so they didn't pay much attention to how it worked – they just went on their merry way and used it. With a series of natural disasters occurring all over their planet, much of their technology had been destroyed and they didn't have a clue how to fix it. The result had been chaotic. According to Damla, tens of thousands had died, and many more would soon, if they didn't fix things.
To top it off, their agriculture and food supply was governed by the very technology, which no longer worked. They were in desperate danger of experiencing mass famines and food shortages. For them, the arrival of the earth teams had been a blessing.
Jack was pretty pleased with the outcomes himself. In return for a team of scientists and engineers, they'd have access to the technology and would hopefully be able to learn from it. From the little he'd seen it looked pretty amazing. The world, at least before the disasters, looked like it had been free of pollution and the destruction of its natural resources and yet the people had not suffered any shortages. There might be something incredibly useful to earth here, he thought – something more than weapons.
He looked over at High Councilor Damla and thought back to his shock when he'd first seen her. He'd assumed – which was terribly chauvinistic of him, he knew - that the High Councilor had been a man. Not only was she not a man – she was definitely all woman! She was, in fact, one of the most beautiful women he'd ever seen. Her long hair was black as coal and yet shone with a radiance that he thought must have something to do with the minerals or something on the planet. Then there were her eyes; they were the deepest black he'd ever seen, and yet they weren't at all cold or hard. No, there was a warmth, a kindness about her that he'd rarely encountered off world. It had taken him only a couple of minutes to trust her, something that was very rare in his experience. He'd glanced over at Hendricks to see the man grinning at him. The Major had been waiting to see O'Neill's reaction.
While Jack was certainly a normal man, and had definitely felt stirrings of physical attraction, that's all it had been. Oh, he liked her well enough, but he definitely wasn't interested. He simply enjoyed looking at her and dealing with her, but was glad to be heading home.
The one thing, which had kept his visit from being totally enjoyable, were his thoughts about his team. As each day had gone by he'd regretted, more and more, the fact that he'd snuck off earth without talking to them. He kept looking at everything around him, thinking how much they would have enjoyed this mission. Carter would have been perfect to deal with the technology and Daniel would have had a field day learning about their history. Teal'c – well, he would have just impressed the locals! He was always fun to have around.
No, he'd made a mistake in letting the anger go on too long. He should have sucked it up and arranged to speak to all of them and then have invited them on the mission. He knew it would have gone a long way to make up for not allowing them to go with the Heptae.
He sighed – well, at least he'd go back and talk to them right away. He'd even suggest that they be the team to come back and get things started on Valara. They were definitely the best ones for the job.
From the little he'd seen of the technology, it was going to take someone with Sam's smarts to figure it out – and she'd love it! It was just up her ally. With a small grin he decided he couldn't wait to get back.
"Excuse me Sir?" Major Marshall approached him cautiously. He quite liked the younger man but wished he'd be a bit more relaxed around him. I guess I'm just getting old, he thought. Young soldiers are too much in awe of me now – it wasn't nearly as much fun as he thought it'd be.
"Yes Marshall? What is it?"
"It's time to check in with the SGC Sir. General Landry asked, the last time we contacted them, if we knew our ETA. I was just wondering if you knew -"
"Yeah – tell him we'll be back", he looked down at his watch which still showed earth time "at 1600 hours, oh, and tell him to ask Sg1 to wait for me. I need to speak with them."
"Yes Sir", Marshall saluted and headed back to the gate. That gave him four hours to round everyone up and get their gear together. He smiled – this had been a great trip. He'd even met a young Valaran woman who he'd been able to spend some time with. She was a looker – and nice on top of it. Too bad he couldn't seem to meet someone like her at home!
He made his way to the gate and dutifully dialed it up. For some reason, it was dialing more slowly than usual but eventually the seventh chevron connected and the wormhole was established. He then sent the signal through like he always did.
Strangely, there was no answer. He tried again and got mostly static in reply. Finally, after a third time he heard a voice but it was terribly hard to hear – there was a lot of static and the voice was broken up.
" This is …gate.. mand ….Earth … der attack. Do NOT …. urn. Repeat do n….urn. Millions dead … stay …"
The message died and immediately afterward the wormhole closed. He stood staring at the gate briefly, trembling and feeling incredibly cold. Finally, with a shake of his head he turned and began to run as fast as he could back to the town.
"We look forward to returning, High Councilor", Jack was saying. "Your hospitality has - "
"General! General O'Neill!" Marshall ran into the Council chambers, panting and out of breath. O'Neill stood up in alarm, knowing something was wrong. Damla stood up beside him, looking concerned.
"What is it son?" he asked calmly. "What's wrong?"
Leaning over, hands on his knees, Marshall desperately tried to catch his breath. "It's the … SGC … Sir! I just …. contacted them. Earth's been …. attacked. The message said millions have been killed. They said not to come back."
Jack could hear gasps from a number of people, the loudest being from his teams. He looked around at the frantic faces of his men and women. He turned back to Damla.
"If you'll excuse me Councilor, I must go find out what has happened." Hardly waiting for her nod he gathered up his people. "Everyone, come with me. Grab your things quickly, we're going home."
"But Sir", Marshall hurried after the long-legged General. "I'm sure the message said not to return."
"We're not staying here, when our home is under attack, Major", he answered firmly. He walked to the room that had been assigned to him and quickly gathered his things. He waited briefly for Marshall to collect his stuff and then headed to the gate.
It took only a few minutes for his entire team to arrive. Paul Davis was standing there, a frown on his face.
"What's happened General?" Davis hadn't been in the council room and had only heard what he hoped were exaggerations and rumors.
"I don't know Paul", the General answered. "Marshall checked in with the SGC", he looked at his watch, "twenty minutes ago and was told earth was under attack." He looked at the young Major who continued.
"The message was pretty broken up but it said that earth had been attacked and that millions were dead. The person said not to return. The message stopped then and the gate shut down."
"What do you think it could be General?" Davis asked, looking worried.
"No idea. Let's dial her up and head home. We'll see when we get there." He turned to his people as Marshall was dialing the gate. "You heard the Major", he said calmly. "We don't know yet what's happened so there's no point getting ourselves worked up. We'll be home shortly and we'll find out what's going on. We're going in blind and we don't know what we're walking into so I want everyone to go in armed and ready. Leave you personal belongings here." He turned to the Councilors who had come to the gate to see them off. Damla nodded.
"We will look after your possessions until you return. We wish you all the best and pray that things will be fine when you get home."
"Thank you", he answered briefly. He turned back to Marshall who was about to dial the last chevron. He hit it and the gate briefly flared and then immediately died. They all stood staring at it, confused by what had happened, or by what hadn't happened, to be precise.
Jack had a sudden feeling of déjà vu, remembering that cold Antarctic cave of so many years ago. Closing his eyes, he really hoped Marshall had simply dialed a wrong number.
"Try it again", he said softly. After the third try Jack could see his team starting to get worried. "Try the Alpha site", he suggested. If there was something wrong with earth's gate they should be able to gate to another site.
They ended up trying over a dozen gate addresses. Jack was actually surprised he had remembered that many, although to be fair, Marshall and Hendricks had tossed in a couple. The end result was that none of them worked. The gate just would not connect with any address.
He knew he had to take control quickly or he'd have nine very panicked people on his hands. Glancing at Paul he amended that to eight. Davis had been through enough, over the years, to not panic at the first sign of trouble. He wished he could feel the same way but for some reason, his gut was telling him this was bad.
He turned back to Damla. "We may need to beg your hospitality for a while longer", he said to her with a small half-smile. "It appears our way home isn't working."
"You are welcome for as long as you need, General", she answered graciously, although she too must be worried. They'd been counting on help from earth.
As they all followed the Valarans back to their former rooms, the soldiers from earth were quiet. All of them were thinking about their homes, their families and their friends, and wondering if they were all still there.
Jack looked up at the mess of wires above him and grimaced. He had to try and figure this damn thing out and was trying to pull all the stuff out of his mind that he'd learned years ago about systems and machines, but it was hard. He could feel the sweat dripping down his face and squinted – it kept getting in his eyes, which made it even more difficult to work.
God, if he only had Car – he stopped that thought dead. He couldn't think of her, not now, not if he wanted to get anything done. Those thoughts lead to all sorts of pain and regrets and wouldn't get him anywhere. The fact was that she wasn't here and wouldn't be coming so he might just as well figure this damn thing out himself. No one was coming to rescue his sorry butt from beneath this consol.
They'd been on Valara now for almost six months. They continued to try and contact Earth, or any planet for that matter, every day but had not had any luck. The gate refused to connect anywhere. At first they'd been hopeful but that hope was quickly dying out. He'd decided, just this morning, that maybe they should reduce the attempts to once every few days. It was just too demoralizing for everyone.
For the first couple of weeks everyone had been frantic, worried about what had happened. He felt sick himself, but knew, as the man in charge, he had to keep calm and be in control. He couldn't let them see that he was terrified, terrified that earth was gone, that his friends were gone and that they were effectively stuck here for the rest of their lives.
It hadn't taken him long to realize that his people had to have something to do, had to keep busy, or they'd go insane with worry and grief. With that thought in mind he'd approached the High Councilor.
"Belén", he'd approached her from behind as she was talking to one of her staff. She'd turned quickly and smiled at him, although behind the smile was an expression of extreme compassion. She, more than anyone, understood what he was going through, and the fact that he couldn't let it show.
"Jack?" They'd taken to using their first names after a couple of weeks. It had actually been she who had suggested it. "I get tired of always hearing my title and not my name", she'd explained. "I have no immediate family and I miss hearing someone use my first name."
He'd understood, being much in the same position. So, they'd begun a friendship, that day, a friendship based on an understanding of the loneliness and responsibilities of their respective positions. Jack was grateful that at least they'd been stuck on a planet with intelligent, sympathetic people. God, what if they'd been on that planet with the weird people and singing plants! They'd have gone insane.
"What can I do for you?", she asked.
"My people need something to do", he'd explained. "Having all this free time on their hands is just making them worry and fret and I'm afraid something bad is going to happen." Just that day he'd had to break up a fight between Lieutenant Neeley and Captain Montez. He didn't know what it had been about, and fortunately he'd come along before it had gotten physical, but he knew it was just going to keep happening if he didn't do something. His real fear was that there'd end up being some incident between his people and the Valarans.
"They need to keep busy and you need help with your machines and doohickeys" as soon as he said the word he closed his eyes, a feeling of grief washing over him. "with your technology", he amended. "Although I'm afraid we aren't the engineers we promised, I'm sure we could help."
Belen smiled, looking grateful. As much as she sympathized with what Jack and his people were going through, she had her own crisis to deal with – and it was getting more urgent as each day passed.
"I would appreciate any help you could give us", she replied. "How would you like to proceed?"
He had sat down that afternoon with Belén, her assistant Rawl and with Paul Davis. The two Valarans had begun to outline the many problems, most of which seemed to originate in their central control buildings, which had been hit with terrific flooding.
So, getting his team together with a team from Valara, they'd proceeded to build an 'action plan' to try and get things back on line. At the same time he'd assigned three of his team to looking at the problems of food supply (John Nichols had been raised on a farm and knew a lot about agriculture), emergency services (Sophie Kinross was a trained nurse and medic) and distribution (Neeley was simply anal – so Jack figured he'd be a good organizer – he also wanted him away from Montez).
Since that day, they hadn't stopped working. It was only the fact that they worked for 16 to 18 hours a day that kept them going crazy with fear and grief. Keeping busy allowed them to cope, although Jack knew it was just a temporary measure. Soon, they'd all have to stop and face the reality of their situation. It wasn't quite yet – there was still hope – but he knew they'd soon be faced with the decision to make this their new home. At that point would come the real grief – and it terrified him. He didn't know if he was the one to be able to deal with that, even though the men and women under him all looked to him as their leader, their advisor and their councilor. It was a heavy burden.
Later that evening, as he sat looking at the still unfamiliar stars, he thought of what the future was to bring. He wasn't ready to give up hope quite yet, but in his colder, more rational moments, he faced the possibility that earth was gone and that these ten people were all that was left of a once mighty civilization. He didn't know if he could deal with that. For the younger ones, they could start a new life – a pretty good life on Valara – for him, he knew that it was too late.
Of course, there was the other part, the part that was eating away at him, day and night, and which he knew would never allow him to find peace. It was the fact that he had been gone when the attack came. He was head of Homeworld Security and he'd been absent from his post when earth, when his 'charge' was attacked. Realistically, he wondered if he – just one man – could have prevented it. Then he remembered the times when just one – or two or three or four – of them had saved their home. He would never, ever forgive himself for the fact that he'd deserted his post in order to 'have some fun' off world – and left his planet without the person responsible for its safety.
Sighing, he then allowed his mind to settle on his friends, his family. He didn't allow himself to think of them too often, knowing he wouldn't be able to do his job if he began to wallow in grief. But right here, right now, with nothing but the stars above him, he allowed the faces and memories of those he loved to be with him.
"I hope someone is still tending your grave, Charlie", he said softly. He prayed Sara was all right and that she still went and spoke to their son, and took him flowers. He had a new baseball and glove sitting at home that he'd meant to take to the cemetery. He hoped Charlie knew that he loved him and wished he could be there.
He thought briefly of General Hammond and Janet Frasier and, for the first time, was glad they were gone, that they hadn't experienced the destruction of their world. He prayed that George's daughter and grand daughters were okay – that they'd survived. He thought about Cassie, almost a daughter to him, and felt the tears push at the back of his throat. "Be okay Cassie, please? I promised your Mom I'd look after you – I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you."
He remembered the other people who had meant so much to him throughout his life. The friends, the colleagues – heck, even his neighbors. He thought of little Matt next door who'd been so excited to get a new puppy. He wondered if Matt and the Puppy – Ruggles – were still alive?
As far as actual family was concerned, he really didn't have much left, just a few cousins and an aunt. He hadn't had much to do with them over the years although he hoped they were okay.
No, the people he had avoided thinking about, because he knew it would bring too much pain, was his real family. He thought about Teal'c – the strong warrior but the compassionate friend; the Jaffa who was bigger than life, but who had a heart of gold and a wicked sense of humor. Maybe he'd been off world with Ry'ac, Jack prayed, although he knew that was a slim hope.
Daniel – space monkey, Danny-boy, friend, savior, pain in the ass, kid-brother and conscience. God, he missed the man! There was nothing he regretted more than leaving the anger to remain between them. Why is it that he hadn't learned? He'd lost too many people who were important to him not to have known better. He should never have left without resolving things. He would spend the rest of his life with regret – and with loneliness.
Sam. Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter, certified genius, amazing soldier, compassionate woman, and the heart of Sg1. She was his light – the person who, along with Daniel, allowed him to know that there was good in the world. The thing that was so amazing about Carter is that her goodness reflected back and made him – almost – forget the darkness in his own soul.
He knew, if things had been different, if they hadn't been both so focused on duty and honor, that they might have made a life together. As it was, they'd been an incredible team. Not only that, they'd always been there for each other – always relied on one another and been able to lean on one another. He felt as if part of his soul had been ripped out, and knew that was a wound that would never heal.
No, he thought, as he looked around, this isn't a bad place to end up. We can help the Valarans and I can help the others build a life here. For me, well, I'm just a hollow man – filled with nothing and nothing to live for. At this he looked up, knowing that all that was left was for him was to live out his days, simply waiting until he could again be with his son.
Sighing heavily, he pushed himself to his feet. He'd allowed himself one moment, one brief moment, of pain and grief but now it was time to head back and to continue to build and help the Valarans. Maybe, just maybe, the exhaustion would allow him a single night of rest.
