Thank you to everyone who reviewed each one gave me such joy. I hope this chapter gets the same response because I'll admit it's a little weird. It goes back and forth between what Lizzy and Teddy are thinking I hope that doesn't confuse anyone, but if it does please let me know. I own nothing, but please review.
Chapter 2
Teddy's steps were slow as he moved through the prison yard. He was diligent as always, but like always too his mind was on her, his Lizzy. He kept seeing her just like she had been the first time he laid eyes on her and as he thought of that moment he wondered if she still looked that way or if she'd changed at all. Teddy thought of that moment whenever he was feeling particularly low because though it made him miss her more, it also made him happy because that moment was one of the best in his life. Lizzy had changed his life, made him realize things he never thought possible and it had all begun in that moment. That split second when he caught sight of her for the very first time. He just couldn't forget her, especially that night when he set his sight on her. T-Bag had been sitting in a bar filled with smoke not doing anything. His mind hadn't really been on anything except the beer he was drinking until suddenly the door behind him opened and there she was. Lizzy appeared in the bar strength radiating off her as she walked through the place and the second Teddy saw her he liked what he saw. He liked the confidence she held wrapped around her, he liked the way that hardness seemed to melt when it came to those she knew around her. She moved through the bar as if she owned it and Teddy didn't know it then, but she did in fact own it though even now he thought of that as something he had liked about her at first sight.
"Hay Elizabeth…how's your night going?" the bartender at the bar had said to her, but T-Bag was only half paying attention to that as he let his eyes run over her liking her body as much as her attitude in that moment.
"Well, don't you look delicious," thought Teddy licking his lips as he looked her up and down. Lizzy was stunning. Teddy remembered admiring the way her skin glowed beneath the cool yellow and white bar lights making it seem almost tanned. Only when he finally got to touch it with his bare fingers did he find out just how sugar colored it was. He remembered the first hint of a glimpse that he got of her eyes, her green apple dumdum sucker green eyes that seemed to go so well with her red, red lips that were made even redder by her lipstick. All covered by the curtain of her hair, the hair he used to like to run his fingers through or grab in his fist as he made love to her. The light brown silk used to feel so soft, so luxurious in those moments, and under the shine of the bar lights it had looked just as soft as it hung over her shoulders. Yes, his Lizzy was stunning, and he knew it the second he saw her. But she had known it too, Lizzy knew just how to dress too to add to that beauty in just the right way. She didn't show too much skin making herself a whore, instead she showed only what she needed to. That night she had been dressed dark in a sexy black top made of lacey material her cleavage showing enough to tease him from where he sat. Next his eyes had lingered on the jean skirt that covered her thighs. It hid what he wanted to know about most, but admiring her still he had liked the way it hugged her hips making her hour glass figure clear. And the black boots she used to finish it off drove him crazy even that first time. He could remember thinking of what it would be like to take her right there on the bar in nothing, but those boots. Teddy had loved the way they looked as they descended up her legs making them look so long and slender stopping just before it met her skirt leaving only a strip of skin for patrons to appreciate. His Lizzy was sexy, beautiful, and that first time Teddy hadn't needed time to decide that he wanted her. Teddy wanted to grab her the moment he saw her and take her over a table. Teddy decided in that moment that he would have her, though in that moment he had planned her to be a victim; never in his wildest dreams did he think he'd fall in love.
When Teddy had fallen for her it had been the last thing he had ever expected to ever happen. People like him didn't fall in love, at least that's what he thought until his Lizzy came through the door. Women had never been anything really, things to use, dispensable, and never in his life had he thought of having just one for the rest of his life. But Lizzy changed every thought he ever had about that. That was especially clear now, even as he walked in the prison yard, Teddy knew he was not the same man he had been. Now he was in love, he was married even to someone he deeply sincerely loved, and for once someone knew he was not a monster; he was a man. Teddy remembered that moment when he got sloppy and she noticed him. But Elizabeth remembered that moment too. The moment when she had been charmed by a man who she just happened to catch staring at her over the top of the jukebox. They both knew it had changed their lives. They both knew that if they had never come into each other's lives they would both be different now, everything would be different now.
"I think I'm being followed," whispered Elizabeth to her bartender as she sauntered behind the bar that night ready to work the goosebumps fresh on her skin from the feeling of eyes on her all day; it was a feeling she had ignored all day though she wasn't sure how much longer she could do that.
"Someone is staring at me," whispered Elizabeth not minutes later that feeling still strong inside her and turning she caught her stalker looking right into his eyes.
Elizabeth remembered how he tried to act like he wasn't looking at her when their eyes first met even when she smiled. But she didn't let him as she watched him now feeling him looking at her still though now far more discreetly. She could feel his eyes still on her the goosebumps stronger every time he looked her way. He was no longer her stalker, her shadow, but a man watching her from across her own bar. Elizabeth smiled as she watched him still from the corner of her eye, he was pretending to look at the jukebox, but his eyes just kept wondering to her. Part of her found it all sexy, it attracted her in a mysterious way, he attracted her, and that's what made her decide to walk up to him. But only when the time was right.
"He doesn't look like much…but he does look interesting," thought Elizabeth eyeing him still not a bit afraid of what he could be or who he might be; she owned a bar she had seen enough crazies in her time to know when she was looking at one. Thinking back on it now, Elizabeth never would have guessed what Teddy was when she first saw him. He had looked harmless, sweet in a sinister way, and the more she watched him the more she wanted to know just who he was. Now whenever she thought of that moment, she wondered if she'd known what she knew now would she have gone anywhere near him? She wasn't so sure she would care. After all he thoughts were still going back to the second time she'd caught him looking at her that night even now at the most random times. He really hadn't been fooling anyone as he stood at the jukebox taking longer than anyone ever had to pick a song. It didn't help that half the time he wasn't even looking at the songs, but at her. Now Teddy couldn't help thinking that it had been partly her fault. She had been more interesting then any song on that jukebox only later would he discover how much.
"Just play a god damn song and sit down," thought Teddy knowing she was onto him by now as he quickly pressed buttons. That was what made Elizabeth give him all her attention. Teddy played Patsy Cline. Patsy Cline in her bar where everyone usually played loud rock. It made everyone look at him even her. Elizabeth remembered listening to it a moment not sure how she liked it that first time. But it, like him, grew on her. So much so that now whenever she heard that voice she thought of another, her Teddy, and it was those times that he always popped into her head.
"Those eyes…still can't forget those eyes," breathed Teddy looking down at the grass beneath his feet part of him thinking that her eyes were greener especially the first time he really got to look into them. The second time had been almost the same for them both, it had thrown him off guard while she had been waiting for it to happen. And as she watched him quickly take his seat again she gathered her strength around her in that same moment as she grabbed a beer moving his way. Teddy hadn't expected to ever watch her come his way, so when she was he didn't know what to expect. Was she going to ask him to leave her bar? But no suddenly she stood right there not three feet before him setting a beer before him with a loud thud. He expected her to go right back to the bar, but instead she was still standing there. Looking at her, he wondered what she was going to do. And Elizabeth knew exactly what she was going to say. She had since he had taken his seat and smiling slyly now she placed her hands on the table on either side of him leaning forward so what she said stayed between them.
"Can I help you, darling?" whispered Teddy having the urge to grab her and fuck her over the table again. Elizabeth would always remember the way he licked his lips his eyes moving over her as he took the beer in his hand.
Teddy couldn't help it as his Lizzy, though she was not yet his, moved forward leaning in close so only he could hear her.
"Yes, well…not that I'm not flattered, but if you're going to stare, please do it only if you're actually going to come talk to me. I'd much rather have you come right up to the bar there and have a seat so we could talk. I think things will go much easier that way," whispered Elizabeth giving him a smile as she straightened turning to walk away.
"I'll be right there, darling," whispered Teddy watching her walk away as he took a drink of his beer.
"I'll be waiting," said Elizabeth not looking back at him as she walked away still making him grin as he thought that she was amazing, more amazing up close then she had seemed all this time that he had been watching her.
"Yes, darling…you are delicious," thought Teddy in that moment still watching her round the bar liking her attitude more than he knew he would have in any other woman; it made him want her more.
Lizzy had proven to be perfect. She had everything he had always found lacking in a woman. Walking in the grass, T-Bag always got a smile on his face when he thought of her in her bar kicking some lowlife out all by herself. She could take care of herself even if he hadn't thought so before. But the first time he saw her escort someone out the door he could remember exactly what he felt. Teddy had felt proud, extremely turned on, but proud. He still felt that way every time the memory entered his mind. He had gotten himself one hell of a woman. She was like no one else. That thought had made him leave his seat moving with a swagger Elizabeth found sexy as she watched him.
"Well…here I thought you'd be just another disappointment," whispered Elizabeth giving him a smile that he returned leaning against the bar as he sat across from her neither of them knowing that moment would change everything. That moment when Theodore Bagwell stepped into her life, Elizabeth knew her life had changed. Teddy knew she had done the same for him, she had been a dark angel coming to improve his life. Teddy thought back on those moments fondly and as he did he wondered if his Lizzy did the same.
As his time in the yard ended, T-Bag walked towards the prison with his Lizzy still on his mind. Once again, he wondered if she thought of him, if she even cared if he was dead or alive, but mostly he wondered if he ever entered her mind the way she did his. Smiling, he sighed; he would have liked it if she did. He wouldn't blame her if she hated him, but he really hoped she didn't.
"My sweet, sweet Lizzy," whispered Teddy his voice in her head in that moment as he entered the prison once more while she stood alone in her bar his voice in her head. If only Teddy knew, she didn't hate him, at least not really. If only he knew she was only mad, heartbroken, and that in her heart she would always love him. In fact, as he entered his cell she stood behind her bar thinking of him and the very fact that she couldn't just stop loving him. Like him, Elizabeth's mind was always on their time together, on each moment they had spent, and one that always stood out was that first night. She thought of every touch, every word they had shared, every kiss, and especially every word. But it wasn't always so fondly. Sometimes she just couldn't think of any of it without crying because now she knew what she didn't know then. That all of it had been fake, not real, and she had just been some stupid plaything to him.
"What was it all for anyway," thought Elizabeth looking into his eyes from within her head in that moment wishing he could really give her the answer she wanted.
Elizabeth would never forgive herself for being so stupid. She had thought she knew who Theodore Bagwell was, but she hadn't. She had thought for the first time she had found not just a man she could love, but someone she could trust. Now she knew she had been wrong and now even now when men hit on her she didn't go near them. Not just because she still loved her convict husband, but she didn't trust herself. Elizabeth was afraid. Afraid that the next man she met would hurt her, break her like Teddy had. That was why Elizabeth knew one thing for sure, she would never love again, and she would most certainly never trust another man again. For with each memory of him all she could do was wonder when exactly she had missed the signs of his betrayal.
"Where did I go wrong," whispered Elizabeth remembering the way he would smile at her, the way he would look at her, and not wanting to believe that any of it had been real. For she had thought he loved her. Elizabeth had been sure that when he laid with her in bed his hands covering her making her scream in passion that he had been making love to her not fucking her like some whore off the street. She had been sure that when he kissed her that he did it because he wanted to, because he loved her not because he needed to so it all felt real. But most of all she had thought when he asked her to marry her, when he actually did marry her that he loved her. That it was real and it hurt so much every time she remembered that it hadn't been. Every time it only broke her heart all over again. That was why sometimes she wanted so badly to just forget Theodore Bagwell ever existed, to forget she ever loved him; she just wanted the pain he had left behind to just go away. But it wasn't that simple. Elizabeth knew she still loved him, that she was still madly in love with him, and she couldn't just turn that off.
Elizabeth had spent the first few months after he left wondering what she had done wrong. Wondering what she did to make him leave. She had been hurt and part of him had even hoped he would come back, but he didn't. And when she saw him on TV it had only gotten worse because then her phone had rung. It all came to light then the truth about what they really had, or hadn't had. Jimmy hadn't lied, he told her everything, and that was the day she started trying to fall out of love with him. But she quickly discovered that was something she wasn't going to be able to do. That was her thought as she wiped down the bar after closing feeling him like a ghost. Elizabeth had always loved her bar, now though, Teddy was everywhere within it. It was there that they had met, shared some of their most romantic moments, and even a make shift wedding reception. She still remembered the way he carried her into the bar not setting her down until they were in the center of the room. She could still feel the kiss he gave her when he dipped her not a second later and especially the smile they shared when he finally let her breath again. And most of all she still heard that song in her head. The song that had served as their first dance and so they had thought it only fitting that it serve as their first dance as man and wife. Elizabeth remembered kissing him their foreheads touching as he held her close her own arms round around his neck as Patsy Cline sang sweet dreams around them. That was one of the moments that used to make her think they were realty in love and thinking of it now Elizabeth hated to admit that all of that had been fake.
"Elizabeth, you promised you weren't going to think about him anymore. Bagwell is gone…you need to just move on," exclaimed a voice startling her from the darkness. Elizabeth swung around in that moment her eyes scanning that same darkness her breathing heavy even though she knew already who it was. Only one person got mad when it was clear Teddy was on her mind. Breathing a sigh, Elizabeth faced that voice watching as Bobby, her brother, and business partner immerged.
"You scared me," whispered Elizabeth.
"That only proves my point, you were thinking of him, Elizabeth. You need to stop; you need to forget about him," exclaimed Bobby his voice rising until it filled the bar. Bobby had never liked Teddy there had always seemed to be something off about him that and he wasn't good enough for his sister. He had tried to warn her against him, but Elizabeth wouldn't listen. But even after everything that had happened she didn't regret that. Bobby had been too smug after it all happened. Instead of trying to comfort her all he had done was rub it in her face. He never let her forget that only four months had passed after they were married before he left her. And now he was here to do it again. Bobby had always been that way ever since they were kids. Even that made her think of Teddy because he had been the one that finally made her stand up to the one person she couldn't, her brother. She always thought that was one of the reasons Bobby didn't like him, but in that moment, she just wanted him to go away. She knew the mistake she had made and she beat herself up enough over it. Elizabeth didn't need him screaming his reminder at her today.
"Bobby, please…it's not that easy. Teddy meant a lot to me…I loved him…I married him for god's sake. It isn't going to be as easy as just forgetting him. I'll never forget about him," whispered Elizabeth her hands shaking as she held in her tears wanting to keep some of her dignity as she transferred glasses from the sink to the shelf. She hated when her brother, her baby brother no less, tried to tell her what to do.
"Yeah, you loved him, and you still love him. Don't lie to me and deny it, god knows your stupid enough to love a man like that," snapped Bobby making her brace her hands on the counter refusing to turn and look at him; sometimes she hated her own brother more than she could ever hate Teddy, this side of him had only gotten worse since he had been on America's Most Wanted. Now, Bobby thought her foolishness with him meant he got to tell her what to do and how to live her life.
"You need to get a divorce. He left you, the law would be on your side, so that's what you're going to do. You're going to divorce that bastard, he made it quite clear he didn't want you anyway, Elizabeth, and it is the only way for you to move on with your life. You are getting a divorce," said Bobby finally acting calm. It was in that moment that Elizabeth turned to face him her anger clear. He was once again telling her what to do with her life. He was standing there thinking he could tell her to get a divorce and Elizabeth found she was madder at him then she'd ever been in her life. And she'd been pretty had at him over the years.
Elizabeth turned to face him in that moment, when she did Bobby saw a fire in her eyes that never did anyone any good.
"Lizzy," whispered Teddy in her head in that moment that voice encouraging her in her rage just like the real man would have; it had been that very fire Bobby was seeing in her eyes that had attracted him to her. Suddenly the glasses on the shelf weren't there anymore, Elizabeth didn't care if she would have to buy all new glasses, she started hurling them at his head. Bobby screamed and ducked just in time cowering on the floor. But she just kept throwing aiming right for him even as he started crawling across the floor. When he did that he cut his hands on all the broken glass. When Elizabeth saw the blood even that made her think of Teddy, he would have been proud if he were here, but she also felt pride in herself. She still had the ability to stand up for herself even with her brother.
"It's my life, Bobby. I will live it the way I want and if that includes thinking about Teddy that's my business. I love him…I'll always love him, and until I decide not to it is none of your business. Stay out of my life," screamed Elizabeth only stopping when she was close to losing her voice all the glasses now broken. Afterward she stood there out of breath feeling exhausted just from throwing all those glasses and screaming. She leaned back against the counter the cash register digging into her back and looking at Bobby she found him still cowering on the floor.
A dead silence fell around them then as Elizabeth broke down behind the bar, the image of her Teddy Bear appearing in her head now, right at the exact wrong moment.
"Elizabeth," began Bobby making his way to his feet again. After a moment with tears still in her eyes, Elizabeth let herself look at him, but she didn't see any change. He was still an arrogant son of a bitch. In that moment, her eyes said what she wanted to say. She didn't want to hear another word out of his mouth.
"I don't want to see you for a while, Bobby. I can handle the bar by myself…just, please leave," whispered Elizabeth glaring at him when he didn't move to leave immediately.
"I own half," said Bobby in response only wincing as he picked a piece of glass out of his hand.
When he didn't move, Elizabeth felt something inside her snap. In that moment, she didn't really realize what she was doing, but she didn't really care either. Suddenly grabbing a knife from behind the bar, Elizabeth found herself walking quickly toward him in a moment that she was sure that if Teddy had been there he would have been smiling at her. She didn't care if she had to stab her brother she was getting him out of her bar.
"Get out," screamed Elizabeth making him do so finally running out of the bar as she came towards him knife drawn. When he was gone, Elizabeth locked the door turning out the lights, and hearing the crunch of glass beneath her boots she went up the backstairs to her apartment.
"I'll clean up in the morning," whispered Elizabeth upon hearing that crunch just wanting to be in her apartment where she knew Teddy's memory would be just as strong and she was right for she almost felt him the second she opened the door.
The tears came then worse than before and with them came his voice.
"You got a fire in you, don't you, darling," said Teddy. Despite what had just happened, Elizabeth still smiled when she heard his voice because she missed him. She missed him and it was like she had told her brother; she would always love him even if there would be days she didn't want to. Teddy would have been proud of her. He liked the fire inside her that was the one thing that she hoped he didn't fake. It was the one thing she didn't think he did. And Teddy could match her fire. He had one inside him too. It sounded weird even to her, but there had been a passion between them even when they were fighting. Teddy had always had a fire all his own; he was the perfect match to her fireworks.
"I miss you," whispered Elizabeth in that moment picturing him the first time they had had a fight not even remembering what they had fought about. They were happy together, even when they were fighting which like any couple happened from time to time. But what she had thought was love always seemed to overpower that. She could remember many times when the fight was over when they would come together whispering sweet words to each other. Many times, when kisses would be shared and when they would make love the fight no longer important. Opening her eyes in that moment, Elizabeth frowned. All that hadn't been real. Nothing about her Teddy Bear had been real. It was those good, bad, and bittersweet moments that made her not want to just forget him like Bobby said she should. Teddy wasn't some unimportant thing in her life she could forget. He had been important, hell, he still was because he was still her husband even now. He was the only man she had ever loved enough to marry and that alone made him part of a very special event in her life. She knew someday she would have to, but standing still against the door Elizabeth somehow knew now was not the time. Teddy was still too much in her mind.
That thought was heavy on her mind as she stepped out of the shower going to her room wrapped only in a towel.
"Lizzy," breathed Teddy in her head again the goosebumps rising on her skin as his voice filled her mind; she still expected him to come up behind her just like he used to his kisses heavy on her shoulders. Part of her wondered if maybe Bobby wasn't right, if she could be happy again if she erased all memory of him. And then her eyes landed on her bedside table. They were still there, right where she had left them when she realized that everything they had had been fake. Their wedding bands, his and hers, they were right there. Despite being gone, Elizabeth could look anywhere in her apartment, and see him. He was never coming back though, so why was she holding on to his so tightly?
"Because you still love him," thought Elizabeth laying still in a towel on her bed. She didn't know what she was going to do as she closed her eyes to sleep. Theodore Bagwell was her ghost, but she didn't know the other half of that. For T-Bag felt the same. He missed her every minute of every day, he was determined he would see her again if only to tell her the truth behind what they had shared. His Lizzy was his phantom and unlike her, Teddy never wanted her to stop haunting his soul.
