Harry, Heroin, and Ron walked up to the front entrance of the Rehab center/boarding school, where other first-years were waiting. Ron had calmed down a little bit, and was trying to figure out a way to get back home. Everyone was okay until a scary old bitch came running out of the hallway towards them, screaming.
"FIRST YEARS BEWARE!!!!!!!!!" But her screaming stopped when she set her eyes on Ron. "You. I've been waiting my whole life for this moment."
Before anyone could react, she pushed him against the wall and started dry-humping him in front of everyone. While Ron screamed in terror, he knew this would be the beginning of a long line of life-scarring nightmares come true.
"Stop that!" An elderly man has come outside. "McGonagall, that is enough for now. Go traumatize that little faggot Neville Fatass."
"Aye-aye captain!" And with that she went speeding down the rows of new students, looking for her latest prey. But before she left, she declared to Ron, "I'll be back for you - IN HELL!!!!" Then she gave him the V-sign, and ran off, cackling. Ron sat on the floor, rocking in the fetal position, muttering under his breath and sucking on his thumb. Meanwhile, the old man started talking again.
"I am Dr. Dumbledope, and I am the head psychologist at this establishment."
"Sounds like my kind of man," Heroin whispered to Harry.
"And that…," Dumbledope continued, "was Professor McGonagall. She is the Sexual Education teacher here at Hogwarts. You will be seeing her quite a lot here, especially those she chooses for her… indulgences…Like Ronald Weasley! Get up off my floor, Weasley! And suck it up!!"
Within the next twenty minutes, they were led to their house quarters, which was split up in two halves for each gender. Harry had to share a room with Ron and Neville.
"Jesus Christ," he exclaimed. "Of everyone on campus, I got stuck with the two lamest nerds here!"
"Sorry," Ron and Neville said in unison.
"I don't need your fucking apologies!! Just back off! These two beds are mine! You guys share that one!"
"But-"
"Get your ass over there in that bed right now!! I don't have to take your shit!"
They cowered over to their bed. But Ron's day only got worse when he found out McGonagall was their House Mother…
"I told you I'd be back," she said as she entered their room. "Now let's get started with some Dirty Sanchez!"
Ron shrieked like a little girl and duck under the bed.
"You'll have to do more than that to get away from me, Weasley!!" McGonagall grabbed him by the feet and dragged him out the door, Ron screaming all the way.
The door slammed shut and the room fell into an eerie silence, only the faint screaming of Ron slowly fading away could be heard.
"Well," Harry said, breaking the silence, "I guess you get the bed to yourself tonight, Fatass."
After setting his suitcase on one of the beds he claimed, Harry laid down on the other and went to bed for the night.
