OK, here we are outside Zim's house.

Maaaaaan those gnomes are creepy.

All right. Now how did you say we were going to get inside?

Huh? I didn't.

Wha—

YOU were the one raving about us getting inside Zim's base. I thought YOU had an idea!

But you're the one who decided to DO this! I thought YOU knew how we were going to get in!

Well, excuse ME for NOT HAVING CROSS-REFERENCED MAPS OF ZIM'S BASE! I know Irken bodily functions!

...That sounds SO wrong.

Um, heh...I meant stuff like how Zim never seems to eat or sleep...well, he eats waffles occasionally (see the third episode of Season Two), and I've watched obsessively enough to know that he likes drinking sodas and stuff. AND that Irkens apparently have the technology to make robots that can actually ingest food...don't you remember "The Halloween Spectacular of Spooky Doom", where GIR actually managed to get fat from eating candy?

Why is this relevant?

Uh, it's not.

—...—

How're we going to get in? I seem to remember a blind spot in the gnomes' defenses...but Zim tricked me into telling him and fixed it.

THAT WAS IN "RISE OF THE ZITBOY", THE SECOND HALF OF THE FIRST EPISODE I EVER SAW!!!!

I really don't care. On the other hand, he's got the walkway to his house rigged so that intruders walking down the path are merely DETECTED, not attacked. I think it used to attack, but his stupid robot broke it.

I like non-dangerous routes. Let's use that.

The pathway leads right to his door.

...So...?

WE'RE NOT GOING TO WALK RIGHT IN HIS FRONT DOOR!!!

You're right. That's stupid. We have to call first to make arrangements.

ARE YOU BEING SARCASTIC?

Quote from Bloo: "Suuuuuuure, like I know what SARCASM is."

Don't expect me to RECOGNIZE that quote!

OK.

—...—

So. How's this going to happen?

Let's click our heels together three times and say "There's no place like Irk, there's no place like Irk" and——

You know what? Next time I get a chance to do this sort of thing, I'm leaving you AND your "speech-to-text" thingy at home.

I'M NOT STAYING IN YOUR HOUSE! GAZ SCARES THE HECK OUT OF ME!!!

SHE SCARES ME TOO! AND ARE WE GOING TO SNEAK INTO ZIM'S BASE OR NOT?!?

I suppose.

WELL?

Let's go in the front door.

BUT——

It's that or Gaz.

BUT——

She's playing that "Vampire Piggy" game. If we went back to your house and interrupted her, she'd rain such terrible doom on us that we'd——

OK, OK, I GET ITTTTT!!!!!! We'll use the front door.

Good.

I can't believe I'm agreeing to this.

Make it good, Dib. Narrate it for the people.

When we answer the door and get ZAPPED BY LASER DEATH BEAMS, narration will be the LEAST of our difficulties!!! Oh, all right...We're going down Zim's front walk right now. If we die, I'm holding you responsible.

Good. My parents always wanted me to have a sense of responsibility. ...That sounds like a quote I should recognize, but I can't seem to——

OK, ringing the doorbell now...this is REALLY STUPID...

I wonder why the computer thingy doesn't type up the regular NOISES when it types up speech...

It's a lame plot device.

Oh yeah.

Look, it's opening! I swear, if that's a plasma cannon behind that door——

Hell-loooooooo.

GAAAAAAAH!!!!!! IT'S THE STUPID ROBOT WITHOUT ITS DISGUISE! AND I COULD'VE GOTTEN A PERFECT PICTURE IF YOU HAD LET ME BRING THE CAMERA!!!!!!!

Hi, GIR!

He's screamin' like a monkey!

NOOOOO!!!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!! NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AWH HAW HAW HAWWWWWW...

I can see that. WOW this computer types fast.

I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!

That's not a nice thing to say to GIR, Dib.

He's a friend of my master.

I HATE YOU!!! OH GOD I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!

He's gonna make hisself crazier!

Bit hard to do, GIR. Ehhhhhh...do you mind if we sneak in and record some evidence of Zim being an alien using a nifty text-to-speech computer program?

Ummmmmmmm...

—...—

...Want a taco?

YAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!

Wow, Dib! You remembered GIR's love for tacos from the episode "Invasion of the Idiot Dog Brain"! And you even happened to have one with you!

It was ON the TABLE!

There's hope for you after all.

TACOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! It smells like a kitty!

Eeeegh. I really, REALLY don't want to know.

How can you find THAT gross? All the sodas they sell here are a brand called "Poop"!

Well, you get used to it, I guess. BUT ENOUGH SMALL TALK! FOR WE HAVE COME TO DESTROY...AN ALIEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TACOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Is that robot insane?

To modify a quote from Mr. Pip, the monkey in the "Bone" comic spin-off "Stupid Stupid Rat Tails": "I'd say he lost his sanity a long time ago, but he'd probably have some ridiculous story about how he lost it in a herd of wild pigs and found it again in a gopher hole with a little girl's foot stuck in it."

Do you ALWAYS make obscure references in the middle of regular dialogue?

Yes. Hey, is that a video game console over——

FOCUS!!!!!!!! Look, over there's the trash can that's really one of the entrances to Zim's secret underground base! If we can get in, we can record his every move and plaster it ALL OVER THE INTERNET, CAUSING——

Hey, Zim's got "Super Alien Busters 2"!!!! I'm SO playing as the mime!

I love the corn people.

Wait..."Super Alien Busters 2"? Why would ZIM have that game? He IS an alien!!!

Oy, Dib, this's the special edition with the crazy human character who's obsessed with paranormal studies! And GIR unlocked the level where he can wear the Yeti costume! You wanna play?

WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SNEAKING INTO HIS SECRET BASE, NOT PLAYING VIDEO GAMES WITH HIS ROBOT!

Wheee! I'm gonna jump on the moose!

WHAT? I thought only I knew about that cheat code! No fair, now you've got the Rubber Pants of Evil weapon! Just like that thing in "Mortos Der Soulstealer" where——

CRACKPOTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, come ON! We almost beat the secret raccoon-infested level!!

This is SO stupid.

Don't it hurt to have a huge head?

Yes, actually sometimes it—I mean, IT'S NOT HUGE!

Doom doom doom doom doooooooommmm...

Come ON!

Modified quote: "I GUESS I'll invade Zim's secret base then."

You're a disgrace to humans everywhere.

Thank you.

OK. Look! There's the trash can that's REALLY a secret entrance to his base!

I KNOW that! ...Wait...involuntary narration again, right?

You don't have to rub it in.

Well, if we're going to go, then shouldn't we GO?

WAIT! But how can we be sure that Zim's not on the other end, WAITING for us?

Iiiiiiiiiiinteresting question, that...WAIT! I HAVE A LAPTOP! WE CAN——

——WE CAN HACK INTO ZIM'S COMPUTER MAINFRAME AND SEE WHERE IN THE BASE HE IS! I HATE TO SAY IT, BUT THAT'S BRILLIANT!!!!

...Actually, I was going to say that we could log on to the Internet and read some Zim fanfics, but your idea works too.

Wait...your computer isn't compatible with Irken files! DANGIT!!!

Oh, too bad. Let's go with my idea then.

What'cha DOOOOIN'?

GAAAAH!!! Go AWAY!!

Are you lookin' fer Master?

Ummmm...well, eh, we're...

Like we said, we're just trying to sneak into his base and get evidence of his alien...ness. Is he around here somewhere just waiting to show up and fry us all into plasma goo?

YAAAAAY GOO!!!!!!

Oh please.

MASTA' says NOT te' let ANYONE in, 'cus he's doin' somethin' REAAAAAL SECRET IN THE WEIRD STUFF ROOM!!

Wait...HIS EYES TURNED RED! THAT'S NOT GOOD!!!

LASER GUNS! DIB, USE YOUR FREAKISHLY BIG HEAD TO SHIELD ME!!!

NONE SHALL PASS!!

AAAAAAAAAH!!!! DON'T KILL USSS!!!!!

—...—

OKEEEEY-DOKEEEEY!!!! I wanna get back in the puppy suit!

Wait...he went back to normal again?

Define "normal", please.

Good point. Ummmmm...the robot said something about a "weird stuff" room. That probably means the room with the...weird stuff in it.

You still haven't defined "normal" for me.

I don't CARE! Now, if he's in that "weird stuff" room, then we CAN sneak up on him by going into whatever room the garbage can leads to! So, taking him BY SURPRISE in his OWN LAIR, we shall——

You're DOING it again, Dib!

Aaaaah, whatever. Let's just get in the trash can.