Chapter 2

Dinner was awkward.

Dr Martinez sat at the head of the table. Max sat on her right and I on her left, Iggy beside Max, the usual flock seating, based on our age.

"Iggy, could you pass the salt?" Dr Martinez asked and Iggy reached unerringly in front of him, where he'd set the salt down ten minutes ago. Ella watched with an excitable air, always thrilled by his… what exactly? So what if he was blind? Blind people weren't invalids, she expected him to depend on us for everything? A thought occurred to me and it made my heart sink and anxiety to flare: what if her mother shared the same fascination?

She thanked him briefly, "No prob, Dr Martinez," he said casually. He was a lot better at hiding it than I was.

"You can call me 'mum' if you'd like, Iggy, I know we aren't biologically related but Nudge, Gaz and Angel don't seem to mind it. I certainly don't mind it," she added lightly with a warm smile at the younger kids.

I watched Ig's neck turn a little pink, "I'd rather not, sorry," he said hurriedly in a low voice. Max blinked and frowned but didn't say anything, thinking it seemed, but Dr Martinez took it in stride.

"Okay, what about Val? Dr Martinez is a little official and a bit of a mouthful," she laughed.

Iggy smiled at her, "Okay, Val,"

I wanted to strangle the smooth little bastard. I looked down at my plate and only then realized I was finished; I hadn't tasted a thing. I shook my head at how consuming this little crush was becoming and glanced at Angel, glad for the millionth time that she'd promised to stay out of the flock's head, no matter what. That was one talk he never wanted to have with her. He stood up and took his plate to the sink, cleaning it by hand rather than using the dishwasher, his ears strained to hear every nuance of the general conversation going on at the dinner table. It was irritatingly, but comfortingly, bland.

I escaped to my room as the others started getting up, closing the door quietly and sitting on my bed, my head in my hands as I tried to work out how to make something happen. Plotting both Dr Martinez's courtship and ways to get over her, right now I wasn't even sure which I'd prefer.

I listened as the flock tramped up the stairs and went about their usual nightly routines, showers, books, tv, talking, giggling –Ella, Nudge and Angel's part anyway, not Max. Dr Martinez put on some music and I felt a jolt of longing, wondering what she was doing in her room, listening to the soft music, alone. Reading, maybe? I stood up, and headed down the stairs, using my super secret stealth to sneak past the flock. Super secret stealth being just the kind of guy that nobody really noticed; some people just didn't attract attention, no idea why.

I looked around listening hard, but I couldn't sense anyone on the ground floor aside from Dr Martinez in her room. Her door was closed. Did she not want to be disturbed? Maybe she was working but wouldn't she go to her office for that? Too many possible scenarios, too many 'what ifs,' there was no way to know for sure. Well, there was one way, but that wasn't going to happen. What would Iggy do in this situation? Did that matter? He hadn't come down, but did he want to? Did he not even have the courage or determination to come this far? God, what the hell was I doing?

I put everything out of my head, all the doubts, all the stupid questions. What was I doing? I didn't know, because I wasn't going to think about it. Action, not thought, everything is always thought, I wanted to do something for a change. So I pulled all my cold composure around me like a favourite blanket, wiped my face blank of emotion, cleared my throat and knocked. Tap tap. What if she didn't hear it? The music was a little loud… no, brain silence, like radio silence, no communication. Just wait, if she doesn't answer you can walk away. She's not going to answer. I take a step back from the door and it opens, Valencia Martinez standing framed in the light from her bedroom, wearing pajamas and a loose robe.

I step forward, my heart racing, "Oh hey," I say casually, because yeah, it is totally normal to be meeting you here, fancy that. Just a chance occurrence.

Fuck, I'm an idiot.