Lisbon sank onto a bench outside of the security holding area and let out a deep breath. She'd been pacing back and forth while talking to Marcus, but now found she no longer had the energy to stand – she was exhausted both physically and emotionally.
She had told Jane that Marcus would understand as more of a comfort to herself than a belief that it was definitely true. It always could have been worse, she supposed. He'd been stunned and then angry, but their conversation had ended with a fairly civil farewell. She regretted that she hadn't been able to tell him in person, but she wasn't sure how that would've been possible given that he was thousands of miles away.
She'd thanked him for everything and wished him well and hung up the phone hating herself for hurting such a good guy. It didn't seem fair that she had done this to the man that had always been there when she'd needed him. She'd let him down in the biggest of ways.
Now here she was, emotionally drained from everything that happened. She sat and watching the people a little way down the corridor methodically take off their shoes and their belts and dump them into the plastic bins before stepping through the big metal detectors.
Not only had she let Marcus down, but now she would have to admit her folly to none other than Patrick Jane. It's not that he had never made mistakes - she knew he had, but she couldn't imagine telling him that she'd planned (even for only a few hours) to marry someone else. Jane took marriage as seriously as anyone she knew, and it was by far the most serious thing to him. Except maybe revenge, but even that stemmed from his marriage.
How would he react? She couldn't imagine it would be well. That didn't matter though, she had to tell him. She couldn't not tell him if they had any sort of future together.
The door opening beside her shook her from her reverie.
"There you are. Fischer has us all on a flight to Austin in ninety minutes. Gate B39," Abbott told her as he appeared at her shoulder.
She stood and nodded distractedly to him but was much more focused on the hobbling blonde behind him.
"I take it you'll want that transfer voided?" he asked her.
"Yes sir," she nodded, taking her eyes off of Jane and staring at the ground instead.
"Consider it done," Abbott said, studying her. He turned to walk away, but only got about five feet away before he turned back with a slight smirk playing at the corner of his lips. "Please do your best to see that Mr. Jane stays off the no-fly list before takeoff. I'm not sure I have enough favors to pull that off again today."
Lisbon watched his retreating back for a moment and then turned back to Jane who was leaning most of his weight onto the back of the bench she'd just been occupying.
She looked into his face to see him studying her intently.
"Hi," she said feeling inexplicably tentative. She guessed the feeling was stemming from the fact that she very much wanted to fling her arms around him and try this kissing thing again, despite all of the things she needed to talk to him about.
"Hi," he gave her a radiant smile that faded slightly after just a few seconds. "You called him, didn't you?"
She nodded, her smile sliding right off of her face. No wonder she expects for everyone to be able to read her mind.
"You okay?" his hand shot out and grasped hers.
"Yeah…not the easiest call I've ever made," she shrugged, looking over his shoulder at the blank wall behind him, not able to meet his eyes.
He nodded thoughtfully and she looked at him again, seeing sympathy and care in his eyes.
They stood like that, facing one another, just looking at each other, her hand still held tightly in his.
"I want to make this work, Jane," came out of her mouth unbidden as she studied his sea green eyes.
He nodded slowly. "As do I, my dear."
"So how do we do that?"
"I have a couple of ideas," he said, his grin reappearing and turning slightly feral as he stared at her pink lips.
Lisbon felt her face flame at his implication and fought the smile that tried to streak across her face. It completely baffled her that this man thought of her in such a way. "Jane!"
"I was just going to say that first we should sit down," he motioned to his foot, "and then make some calls about getting your things returned to Austin and your house off the market. I'd say that the first step to making this work is making sure that we live in the same city."
She gave him a patented glare that told him she didn't believe him for a second, and then motioned for him to lead the way.
Instead, he wrapped his arm around her and rest about half of his weight on her small frame before pulling her slowly along to a seating area in the general region of their gate.
"What's bothering you?" Jane asked in an undertone as they sat in their window and middle seat on the slowly filling plane. Lisbon had insisted that he take the window seat to make sure that whoever was assigned to the aisle seat didn't accidentally kick him.
Lisbon chewed on her lip. "It's just…now what?" she asked finally, looking into his eyes and desperately seeking a good answer.
She knew that she'd made the right decision by staying with him, but nothing had been established between them, so she didn't know how to move forward with their lives – their life. It had been so easy to accept that they loved each other and that they wanted each other, but that didn't really clear up how to actually be together after holding one another at arm's length for so long.
Obviously they were okay with the kissing part, that had been great, but what about all of the rest of it? Would he continue living in his Airstream in the parking lot while she was across town in her house? How would their work be affected, would they even be allowed to continue on the same team? And then how were they supposed to negotiate such a seismic shift in their relationship – in a physical way. She shivered at the thought of their hypothetical physical relationship.
Jane opened his mouth to answer her question and immediately snapped it shut as he looked over her shoulder.
Lisbon turned to see what had his attention just as Kim Fischer dropped into the seat next to her.
Great. No way they would be having this necessary conversation now, she thought. She turned fully in her seat so that she was facing forward rather than turned toward Jane and looked straight ahead, unable to look at the other woman. She was sure that her discomfort was palpable.
Jane reached over and took her hand in his, pulling it over to rest on his thigh wrapped in his larger hand.
She wasn't sure whether to be grateful for his touch or to want to slug him for doing it in front of Fisher.
Fischer's eyes followed the movement. "So, I hear you're staying."
"Yep. DC wasn't the right move after all," Lisbon nodded.
Fischer nodded slowly, appraising the situation. "For what it's worth, I'm glad you're staying."
"Thanks," Lisbon said, finally meeting the other woman's eyes with a small smile. Hopefully she and Fischer could remain friends.
"Hey! I'm glad you're staying too!" Jane piped up, looking at Lisbon and then and looked over at Fischer, "And it's me that you should be thanking for her staying."
Lisbon gave him another taste of her glare and he just grinned cheekily back, not bothered in the least. Infuriating man.
"And I hear that Abbott had to pull quite a few strings to keep you off of the no-fly list?" Fischer looked across Lisbon at Jane with a cocked eyebrow.
"It's funny the things you'll do for the person you love," he said with a frank shrug.
Lisbon's stomach flipped – in part from his words and in part because of Fischer's presence and now her full knowledge of the situation. It made her uncomfortable to share so much when they hadn't even talked about it themselves. So much for trying to keep it quiet until they had a better grasp of what was going on.
Fischer's eyes darted to Lisbon and then back to Jane. She nodded slowly again and murmured a noncommittal "Hmm." She leaned back into her seat on the pretense of fastening her seatbelt and Lisbon was glad for the scrutiny to be over – for now.
"Don't worry, we'll figure it out," Jane murmured under his breath so that just Lisbon could hear. "Why don't you try to take a nap? You look exhausted and there's a lot to do when we get home."
Lisbon nodded, thinking with dread about all of the unpacking and reorganizing that was awaiting her. Not to mention that she was sure that they would be heading back to the office once they landed. Just because her life had changed drastically, didn't mean that her job had changed and the FBI wasn't exactly the type of organization to give time off to figure out your new relationship.
She was pretty sure there was no chance of her going to sleep, but somehow, as soon as she closed her eyes, with Jane's warm hand clutched tightly in hers, she sank into peaceful oblivion.
Not really sure how I feel about this chapter. Ah well, that's how it goes sometimes. Hope you enjoyed.
I think that there is only going to be one more chapter in this, but then I've already started on a follow up piece from Jane's perspective.
:)
