A/N: From which when the second chapter appeared out of the darkness, and it was called 'Chapter 2'…yeah. I need to stop listening to that evil, evil book…What was it called again?

Cassy: DON'T HARRASS THE BIBLE!

Really? That's what it's called? Sounds devious…anyway. The first chapter was mostly written by Cassy, who happens to be able to write dialogue better than the average human. But she refused to do this chapter, as to which I was designated its responsibility. And crap. So, like, this is mostly me.

Disclaimer: Masashi Kishimoto has gone on a vacation to Hawaii, and for some reason has mysteriously disappeared -coughs-. I happen to be in his will (or so the translators say), so yes, I do, in fact, own Naruto. Or at least until Kishimoto pulls a James Bond and busts out of that island high security prison—YOU HEARD NOTHING!


Groping is harder than it sounds

—FROMTHEDESKTOPOFANDY—

SAKURA was nervous.

Okay, she was more than nervous. It was more like she was going to pee her pants if someone, say, talked to her. Her hands were twitching. Her legs were shaking, and she felt like her knees would no longer support her, even though she was sitting in her seat in Calculus, waiting for the teacher to come in and start class already.

Basically, not Haruno Sakura in her best form.

Tenten, sitting in the row across from her, leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Calm down before you get a heart attack. Or Turret's. You can't win the bet and rake in the cash if you have to go to the hospital."

Her words didn't really help calm Sakura down—especially since the brunette had her digital camera at hand. Seeing where Sakura was staring, Tenten laughed a little. "Don't worry; this isn't going on the net. Hinata is going to use it on video mode to tape my…'confession'." She grimaced at the thought of telling the cold-hearted Hyuuga cousin that she had an undying crush on him. Thinking about that, Sakura calmed down the tiniest of bits, only to start hyperventilating again when she saw who came in the room.

She wasn't the only one who reacted to the arrival. All the female students immediately perked up and shot sultry looks in his direction, while most of the men got a lot moodier, muttering swear words under their breath.

Uchiha Sasuke. The god of the school, best friend of the mayor's kid, captain of the football team and the basketball team, heir to the business tycoon his father started, and the object of affection for every girl in the entire school not bound by wedlock. (We're including teachers. And a few males, as well, of course.)

The man she was deemed to grope in a few minutes. For about five hundred dollars.

Forget the Kakashi incident, she thought; feeling lower and lower with each word that rang in her head, I'll be a REAL whore after this!

Sakura laid her head on the desk in front of her and groaned. She didn't really know how she was going to do this. She couldn't just ask him, 'Hey, can you let me grope you? I'll give you half of what I get for it!'. He had more dignity than that. And he had more money than Kami should ever allow, so she couldn't bribe him. If she did it on the sly, she'd be named the official school whore, and Sasuke would probably get a restraining order against her.

Even though she knew she would never, ever have a chance with someone like Uchiha Sasuke, it still made her heart hurt to think about him never wanting to be near her again. They had been friendly acquaintances for a while now, and the only reason why he hadn't told her to fuck off yet was because she didn't openly fangirl him like other students in school. She burrowed her face further into her arms, feeling like crying.

"What's going on with you, Haruno?" She felt a finger poke her scalp. Looking up, she saw a pair of dark and distant eyes trained on her, and her heart leapt to her throat. She could feel her expression change to confusion, and Sasuke frowned.

"You usually don't put your head down, Haruno. I just want to know if whatever you have is contagious."

If she wasn't used to rebuttals like this, she probably would have fainted. Or at least deadpanned. But she was, so all that happened was a single sentence issuing from her lips. "I'm not contagious, don't worry about it." Then, deciding upon, humor, she added, "Well, it is communicable, but we'd have to get to know each other more for you to even see it."

Sasuke coughed, looking uncomfortable. He never really blushed, actually—sort of the opposite effect happened to him when he was embarrassed. He'd get very pale, and his lips would go white. She giggled. "Don't worry, I was joking."

Then a thought came to her—maybe that could be his reaction when the deed was done. Not anger or disgust, just…embarrassment. Like it was all a horrifying accident.

An accident…yes…The more she thought about it, the better it sounded. Of course, there would be the rumors that she did it on purpose, but as long as Sasuke and her immediate friends didn't believe so, that was okay. Rumors died down.

So, when Kakashi-sensei entered the room and started the rather boring lesson about something she had already learned, Sakura started to plan. Halfway through the class, she had a general idea of what she would do. She glanced at Tenten just as Kakashi started to write down that night's homework and tapped her pencil on the desk three times, signaling the brunette to get out the damned camera—she wanted this to be quick.

Sakura frowned and furrowed her brow, leaning left and right. "I can't see the board," she muttered, leaning more wildly and at a faster pace. Finally, as if giving up that idea, she rose up and leaned over her desk, grabbing Sasuke's shoulder for support. "Sorry," she muttered, pretending to squint. She leaned over him, trying to get closer to the board. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Sasuke looked disgruntled, but not angry, muttering something about glasses. Apparently, he had more tolerance for her than she had initially thought.

Leaning a little more, she let her hand slip off his shoulder, her body falling down almost comically over him, her legs flailing a little. With a little well-aimed precision, the hand on his shoulder ended up jammed down the front of his pants. She could feel him stiffen and pale, but waited to hear the CLICK of the camera for proof. When she finally did (it seemed to take forever, didn't she warn Tenten it was happening?), Sakura leapt off of him like he was on fire, blushing furiously. Squeaking out a quick 'Sorry!' she raced out of the classroom and into the girl's bathroom.

Breathing a sigh of relief as she closed the stall door, she sank to the top of the toilet, leaving the seat down. Thank Kami that's over…

—FROMTHEDESKTOPOFANDY—

A/N: So, this is Cassy. (Don't listen to the idiot up on top who calls herself 'Andy'—I SO TOTALLY HELPED MAKE THIS CHAPTER!) And, um, reviews? Please? We don't like updating if people don't show their loving appreciation…