Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. I am making no money from this. Tite Kubo owns all, I'm just playing with them for a while. I also do not own any of the quotes I use at the start of each chapter. They were all found on the internet, and if they have an author I say who it is.
Author's Notes: The second main fic in the "After The Winter War" series. This one is centered on Ichigo and Orihime, but will also feature many other characters and will weave together with other stories. (For example, the conversation Orihime is thinking about her and Karin having had took place in No Warm Memories, chapter 3. As it was mostly about Karin/Toshiro, I didn't want to replicate it here, but there were a few comments about IchiHime that I wanted Orihime to reference.) Oh, and comments on how well/badly I'm keeping them IC would be helpful. Ichigo is surprisingly hard for me to write. Why do so many characters in Bleach seem to have private sides that are so different from how they act in public? And how can you show those sides while not getting accused of being too OOC?
I'll Stand By You
By Lady Callista
Chapter 2: Nightmares
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"Deep in my heart I'm concealing things that I'm longing to say. Scared to confess what I'm feeling, frightened you'll slip away. You must love me..."
Eva in "You Must Love Me" from the musical "Evita"
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"I dream about Kurosaki-kun as well. But I know he doesn't feel the same way about me. Rukia-san…"
"Actually, he was telling me less than an hour ago that him and Rukia-chan are only friends."
Orihime woke with Karin's words from their talk the other day echoing in her head. Kurosaki-kun only thought of Rukia as a friend? Then maybe… but no, that didn't mean he didn't only think of her as a friend as well. He was just one of those people who would do anything for his friends, up to and including dying for them. It was one of the things she loved about Kurosaki-kun, although it did make her constantly worry about him.
Rangiku-san's advice to tell him popped into her head next, but even trying to imagine telling him made her blush. What could she say to him? It was all well and good for Rangiku to say that it was better to know than to wait and hope, but as long as she didn't know she could still have hope. She could keep thinking that maybe one day…
Her alarm going off startled her out of her thoughts and she turned it off with a sigh as she got up and began to get ready for school. It still felt strange to be back in school, to be around regular people again. She'd spent so much time in that cell…
With a shake of her head, Orihime banished the nasty thoughts that were trying to rise up. It wasn't that hard during the day when the sun was shining brightly through her windows. It was at night that the panic and terror came back and wouldn't be banished. She'd actually slept with a light on every night since she'd gotten back, because waking up in the dark still caused a panic. It still made her think she was somehow back in Hueco Mundo.
But no, Kurosaki-kun had rescued her. Had saved her, as he always did. Everyone responsible was dead. She was safe.
Even knowing it was true, it took Orihime a few minutes to trample down the panic that tried to rise, and she pasted her happy mask on her face as she left for school.
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"I just wish she would tell us where she was all that time. What she was doing." Tatsuki said to one of her and Orihime's friends as they walked down the hallway, classes finished for the day.
"I know. I thought maybe she went on some kind of vacation, but she looks worse than before she left. There's just this look in her eyes sometimes, and she stares off into space even more than normal."
"I'm so worried about her. I keep offering to let her stay at my house, cause I know she's not sleeping well, but she won't, says that…" Tatsuki's voice faded off as they passed through the doors.
Ichigo stepped out the classroom nearest those doors, staring after the two girls thoughtfully. Inoue had seemed fine to him in class earlier, although the food she'd brought for lunch had been downright normal for her. He hadn't noticed any look in her eyes, and she'd always been a little spacey. It was so cute when…
No. Ichigo stopped that train of thought with a screech. She was his friend, and he had no right to think of her as cute.
But she's so pretty. And that body…
Oh, shut the hell up.
Damn inner Hollow. Another reason he shouldn't think of Ori…of Inoue as cute. He'd lost it down in Hueco Mundo and hurt Ishida. None of them talked about it, but he knew what had to have happened. If Inoue had been hurt, if he'd hurt her without even knowing it…
"Kurosaki-kun?" Orihime questioned after he'd stood in the doorway for nearly a minute without moving. She'd been too far into the room to hear the girls.
"Oh, sorry." Ichigo said as he finished moving through the door, holding the outer door open for Orihime to pass through, which she did with a small smile.
They easily fell into step beside each other as they headed home, neither speaking for a few moments.
"So…um…does it feel weird to you to be back in school?" Orihime stammered finally, wishing he was really her boyfriend walking her home. Wishing she could hold his hand.
"A little." Ichigo replied, looking at her. "But I've kinda gotten used to fighting one minute and going to school the next."
"Yeah, I guess." Orihime smiled at him, unaware he was studying her, trying to see the things her friends had been talking about.
"How, uhh…how have you been?" He mumbled, casting sidelong-glances at her.
"I'm good, Kurosaki-kun." She chirped happily, working hard to make the smile twinkle in her eyes. "I'm just so glad the war is over."
She failed, but he didn't let on. "We all are. Maybe I'll actually have the time to do some of my homework this month."
They stopped at the gate to her building. "Well, um, see you tomorrow."
"Yeah." He mumbled as he turned to walk the rest of the way home. He'd seen the flash in her eyes Tatsuki had mentioned, the flash that said the smile was fake. He'd seen her genuinely happy too often to not notice.
But why? She was back on Earth, none of her friends had died, and she was safe. Well, as safe as any of them ever were, knowing what they did about Hollows and attracting them occasionally, but… She was back, and everything was right, and the war was over, and… so why didn't the smile reach her eyes?
"Tadaima." He called out as he entered his house, planting a customary kick in his father's face when he tried to tackle him.
"Okaerinasai." His sisters called out from the table, bowls of ice cream in front of them despite the chill outside.
He went to move past them, up to his room, but Karin caught his shirt as he passed and pulled him down to say quietly, "You have company up in your room."
"Who?" He wondered why she was whispering, as his father would have been home when anyone came to the door.
"I don't know who he is, but I know what he is." Karin replied. "His reiatsu popped up a little bit ago, but I didn't worry as he was familiar."
Ichigo nodded, noticing the slight fear on her face. "It's over, don't worry." He said quietly as he went up to his room.
"Oi, Ichigo. How's been?" Renji's voice greeted him as he entered the room, depositing his book bag next to his desk.
"Fine." Ichigo plopped into his chair. "What's up?"
Renji smirked. "Yamamoto wants a report on how Hollow activity has been over the week since the war."
"Ah, to hell with that." Ichigo huffed. "Tell him they're all taken care of. They're not even much of a challenge."
"That really what you want me to tell him?"
Ichigo smirked. "Tell him whatever you want. We're dealing with it."
Renji nodded. "They'll be sending Jigokucho to you occasionally, want you to answer them. Try to answer at least a few, as I don't wanna get sent to Earth every month to check up on your ass."
"Why did you get forced to be the messenger?"
Renji shrugged. "Know the town, know the people, was bored in Seireitei. All the parties are over."
Ichigo laughed. "I'll try to answer at least a few. I don't wanna see your ugly mug every month either."
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Ichigo sat on the roof outside his window, invisible to most of the people who passed by. He'd been sitting there since dinner ended, watching the town, twice leaving to destroy Hollows he sensed. He should be in doing his homework. He should be in bed, even after a week it seemed like his body wasn't fully recovered.
Instead he debated with himself, as he'd been doing for nearly the last hour, on whether or not he should go check on Inoue. It wasn't like he knew what to say even if something was bothering her. Despite his favorite author, he didn't talk like that, he…
But his dream, no, his nightmare, from the night before suddenly came flooding back.
It hadn't been of not saving Inoue, although those nightmares sometimes came as well. No, his nightmare last night had been caused by the memory of chilling words spoken with no inflection, no emotion at all.
That woman is already ours. Saving her is pointless. She may look the same, but how do you know we didn't change something inside of her?
Orihime insisted they had never done any…experiments, never really even touched her except occasionally to manhandle her. The fact that he didn't believe her notwithstanding, the abuse from the two girls who had interrupted the fight seemed like a recurring thing, that didn't mean they hadn't done something to her. Somehow. The gods knew Aizen had possessed some of the strangest powers.
She insisted she was fine, even Unohana-taicho had said she was fine, but… No, she had to be fine. He had saved her. She was fine. There was no reason to check on her.
But she lived alone. If something was wrong, how would anyone know?
Pissed at himself for his indecision, she was a friend and he was just making certain she was okay, Ichigo shot off the roof and into the night.
Moments later he arrived at her building and glanced up towards her window, surprised to see her light still on despite the fact that it was almost midnight. Maybe she was having trouble sleeping. He sprang up to the open window, surprised to find her futon spread and her in it, seemingly asleep despite the light. She must have just forgotten to turn it off.
He was about to leave, feeling foolish, when she began to shake and cry out in her sleep.
Ichigo stepped into the room without thought and crossed to her.
Caught in the throes of a nightmare, Orihime screamed when a hand grabbed her shoulder, and sat bolt upright as she gasped for breath, trying to banish the taunting, lilting voice of the traitor who had taken delight in tormenting her.
"Inoue, it was just a dream." Ichigo knelt, feeling helpless as tears leaked down her face.
"Memories…" She mumbled, not yet fully awake. "Nightmares of…I…Kurosaki-kun?"
Ichigo glanced away sheepishly. "I was going by, saw your light on. You shouldn't fall asleep with the light on."
Orihime glanced away, pulling the blanket up to her neck, conscious of the fact that her yukata often gaped open when she tossed and turned. "Um…I…" She tried frantically to stop her tears from falling, to stop her body from shaking.
Ichigo reached out without thought and put a hand on her shoulder.
Her eyes snapped to him, and although she had stopped shaking she was still crying silently. "I…I don't like the dark much anymore." Her voice was barely a whisper.
"Inoue…I…"
"You should go home, I, I'll be fine." Orihime cut off whatever he had been about to say. She couldn't deal with him being here, with him trying to be sweet. She was too fragile at the moment, too upset to put on her smiling face.
His voice was just as quiet as hers. "I could stay until you fall asleep."
"No, Kurosaki-kun, you shouldn't worry about me, you need to sleep too, and…"
"I won't sleep anyway, worrying about you." Ichigo said gruffly, his hand falling away from her shoulder. "You, you can talk to me if you want. Since you can't tell your friends."
"Kurosaki-kun…" Orihime's voice shook, unable to believe what he was saying. If she couldn't feel his reiatsu she wouldn't have believed it was him.
"The war was bad for all of us, but at least we were together. For you, all alone there, not knowing if we even knew where you were…" Ichigo couldn't look at her, and still couldn't believe what he was saying. He didn't talk like this. This wasn't him. But she had looked so fragile sitting there, trembling and crying.
"I think part of me knew you would come for me." Orihime whispered, blushing as red as her hair. "Part of me wanted you to, but the rest of me didn't. I left so they wouldn't hurt you…you all."
"It's not your job to protect me." Ichigo replied, "That's my job."
Orihime managed a slightly hysterical laugh. "You may protect all of us, but who protects you? Shouldn't I be allowed to think of you?"
Ichigo finally turned to face her again. "And your reward is nightmares."
"They're not that bad." Orihime lied badly.
"Inoue, just let me stay. You know I won't let anything happen to you." Ichigo met her gaze firmly.
"I…" Orihime really wanted him to stay, part of her calming down at the knowledge that he would be standing guard while she slept. But she didn't want to impose on him like that; he'd already done so much for her, she already owed him so much. Plus something in her was just mortified by the fact that it was midnight and she was alone in her apartment with a boy.
"You're not the only one who's had nightmares."
Orihime's eyes widened at the whispered words, and her heart melted at the confession. Unable to say no to the lost look in his eyes, she lay back down, turning onto her side to put her back to him. She knew she'd never be able to sleep if she was facing him, for she wouldn't want to stop looking him. "I…I don't want to talk about it. Not, not yet anyway. I…I haven't forgotten enough."
Ichigo touched her shoulder again, briefly, before settling himself more comfortably next to her futon. "Just think of something nice for now."
"Kurosaki-kun…thank you." Orihime whispered as she felt herself begin to drift off. She hadn't gotten a full night's sleep in a week, waking often from the frequent nightmares and then being afraid to fall asleep. She knew she would sleep if he was there.
Think of something nice.
Orihime imagined him sliding into the futon beside her, his arms folding her against his firm chest. Minutes passed, and she began to doze off as she held on to her happy thought. He was about to kiss her when the voice of the real him, still sitting a foot away from her, spoke almost inaudibly. He probably thought she was asleep already.
"I'm sorry I didn't protect you better, Orihime."
Her name. Her name falling from his lips sent a shock of joy through her, but she was too drained to do more than smile a real smile as she drifted off to sleep.
"Ichigo-kun…" She whispered into her dreams.
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He was still there when she woke, propped against the wall like a samurai out of a movie, Zangetsu resting by his side. Even in sleep, his hand was on the hilt. Protecting her.
Orihime sat up, taking a moment to just stare at him. She hadn't woken once, or had another nightmare; somehow even in sleep she'd known he was there. Now she reached out, running a finger lightly down his cheek, a slight thrill running through her at the liberty. He stirred, and she quickly drew back.
"Oi…what…Inoue, morning already?" Ichigo sat up, stretching muscles slightly cramped from how he'd slept.
"Good morning, Kurosaki-kun." She whispered shyly.
"No more nightmares?" He asked with a smile as he stood.
Blushing, Orihime shook her head. "Thank you. You shouldn't have to…"
"I'll see you at school, okay?" Ichigo was already moving towards the window. She looked so cute, mussed from sleep, stuttering slightly, obviously embarrassed that he was there, but also obviously grateful. He had to get away from her before he did something stupid. His eyes tracked her lips as she licked them nervously, and he perched on the windowsill quickly, turning his back to her.
"Yes, at school." Orihime managed to mutter as he left.
TBC...
AN2: I kinda feel like this is going too fast, but I don't wanna bore people with day-to-day interactions and Orihime pining over him either… Thanks again to my beta; it's always nice to have someone catch those few mistakes you make cause the plot bunnies are jumping around making you write too fast. (Oh, and there was one thing she pointed out that I didn't change, as it was intentional. It's something Renji said, and he's not known for having the best grammar, lol. I did the same when I wrote flashbacks of Gin in BTM.)
Glossary:
Tadaima: traditional phrase spoken when returning home, basically just "I'm home."
Okaerenasai: traditional response, "Welcome home."
Seireitei: Court of Pure Souls, where the Shinigami live in Soul Society
Jigokucho: literally Hell Butterfly, the Shinigami use them like messenger pigeons.
Reiatsu: Spirit energy
