Luca didn't have trouble finding people to date- that wasn't the problem. She was pretty, and although her personality could have used some work, it wasn't vile. She wasn't unlikeable or anything. She just had standards- high standards.
Standards that had been dropped like Carver's 8th name-day cake the second Leandra had insinuated in that put upon voice that she wouldn't have a date for Thanksgiving.
She read the ad over for what had to have been the twentieth time. She'd all but memorized it- a fifty and a meal- but still couldn't believe that she'd responded, and even less that her response had been noted less than an hour after sending. This was the sort of thing that got people like her cut into pieces and scattered across the countryside to be nibbled at by raccoons until some unfortunate jogger happened upon her severed head-
Relax. Breathe. She promised she'd send pictures.
If the ad was genuine- a real Tal-Vashoth woman who looked exactly as she'd promised- then good. Great. Divine, and just picturing the look on Leandra's face heartened her a little. Her mother would have a fit, and Gamlen… well her uncle would predictably say something vile. Her and Carver had a system for tormenting Gamlen though, having learned young that he was a pig- Luca would have to warn her potential fake-date that although she wouldn't strictly frown upon assaulting the wretch, she should expect some truly awful things before the evening was through.
Her phone clicked just as she began to fantasize about Gamlen getting wailed on by a small army of Qunari- an email from her fake-date, with three attachments. Luca braced herself and opened them, praying for… something. She wasn't sure what quite yet.
The images loaded and her eyes widened.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
"Is this too modest?" Rees asked flatly, doing a turnaround in a pair of cutoff denim shorts. They were violently blue against her skin and torn so hard that they were shredded- the pockets were intact against her thighs though.
Fenris watched her from the ratty plaid armchair that decorated their vaguely yellow living room. He was being silent and Rees suspected it was on purpose since she'd just asked him what he thought. He'd been sullen ever since she'd posted the ad and begun to downright sulk when it had been answered- she'd usually punch him just to snap him out of it, but she didn't want to show up to her gig with bruises.
On second thought maybe that would be better.
"Hey ass-lamp, I asked you a question," she snapped.
"I'm thinking," he returned, his big green eyes narrowed and staring directly at her ass.
"Think harder, she wants pictures sometime today," she said, experimentally jutting her hip to the side. His eyes followed the motion and he remained silent. "Fine, be a fucking toddler, I'll send Bela some pictures and see what she thinks," Rees groused.
"The shorts are fine," he said before she could even make a move towards her jacket where her phone was hidden. "The shirt needs to be… less," he said. Rees raised an eyebrow, silently opening herself for suggestions. "Lower cut- maybe a band shirt you've… personalized?" he suggested.
"What, like tear it up?" she asked. He nodded and a wide grin spread over her face. This much fun is usually illegal, she thought, tugging off the shirt she wore and starting down the hallway to their bathroom.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Fenris' fingers relaxed on the arms of the chair and he exhaled a breath larger than the one he'd been holding. He felt his phone buzz- had to be Bela, as no one else had the number besides Rees- and ignored it, the shape of her body burnt into the eyes.
He stood up and retreated to his cot. He would leave her to her fun before he embarrassed them both.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Luca anxiously tugged at her tight blonde curls, her eyes glancing over to the mirror again. The Skype call would happen just as soon as the Tal-Vashoth, Rees, got her web camera hooked up. It had been about ten minutes and her last text had said something along the lines of someone named Isabela being home, who knew more about the computer than she did.
She wanted to make a good impression. Once again assuming that this woman was who she promised she was, she was getting into just as precarious a situation as Luca- she hadn't even sent her any pictures, thus far asking her to go on faith that she wasn't a serial killer. Granted, Rees didn't seem overly concerned for her safety, but assuming she really was part Qunari? There probably wasn't a very good reason for her to worry.
The screen started blinking and Luca straightened her clothes again before accepting the call. There was a dark room that was mostly pixels for a minute, then a muffled fuck sakes, Fen turn on the lamp. The lights went up and Luca's stomach tightened at the same time her shoulders relaxed. It was, miraculously, the same woman in the pictures she'd been sent earlier- and that woman was hot.
She was strong and well muscled, her silver braids hanging carelessly behind two elegant black horns. Her skin was dark and blue-grey, with her grey eyes practically glowing as they watched Luca. "Hey," she said in a low voice, "sorry about the wait."
"It's fine," Luca said, trying to keep her voice casual and failing. She sounded nervous- better than shocked and gawking she supposed. "Well, now we both know the other isn't a serial killer," she said, trying to force her voice to be light.
"Were you worried?" Rees asked with a crooked smile. Luca laughed anxiously.
"A half elf against anyone is pretty poor odds," she said. Rees shrugged.
"I know a whole elf that'd stand a pretty good chance. Fen come over- oh fuck you, no," she stood up and moved somewhere behind the computer. There was the sound of scuffling and something glass breaking, then Rees returned to the camera. "Nevermind, he's too busy pouting to be friendly." A boyfriend then. That was… disappointing. Fake-date, Luca reminded herself sternly.
"It's all right," Luca assured her, then took a deep breath. "All right, let me give you a quick briefing on my family."
"Do I need one?" Rees asked, leaning back in her chair.
"You'll want one," Luca said with a faint grimace. "We'll start with Gamlen."
