First of all, thank you all for your reviews. And the people who already have this story on their alert list. In my book this counts as a positive review
There we go. Thanks to the incredible incompetence of a certain company that produces Laptops mine erased pretty much it's entire memory. But because I'm smart I had at least this chapter saved, the next three are gone. Anyway, you shouldn't listen to my whining...
A/N: Maybe I should say something to those people who didn't read "Lisey's Story"-it's not so much the typical Stephen King book because it centers around a couple's love story and, well Lisey. So don't expect creepy clowns or murdering psychos... Hehehe. Thought I mention it before confusion breaks out. The title of this chapter is taken from a Jefferson Airplane song (White Rabbit) and you can find it on Youtube, as usual
Claimer/Disclaimer:This chapter may contain foul language so those who don't like pottymouths, shoo! I would also like to remind you that Jackie's kids are mine. Especially the one introduced in this chapter :p
Nuff said, read, enjoy, review. The holy trinity of fan fiction!
White Rabbit
The next morning
The Hyde residence, living room
And
if you go chasing rabbits
And you know you're going to fall
Tell
'em a hookah smoking caterpillar
Has given you the call
Recall
Alice
When she was just small
She was dancing around her living room in her pink flannel pyjamas, singing out loud to the tune on the radio-it was the Spice Girls and she had loved them with passion. She was getting really excited about their reunion and had made plans to go see them in concert, even if that meant she had to go alone. Who in her address book would want to come with her? Exactly.
"Stop right now, thank you very much!"
Singing on top of her lungs she danced past the doorway to the entrance where she saw a person standing, watching her as she slid over the wooden floor towards the kitchen.
"I need somebody with the human touch..."
It dawned on her what she had just seen and gripping the first thing her hands could get a hold of she slowly stepped back and peeked around the corner. Shrieking she tightened her grip around the huge candle with its cast iron holder and jumped towards the tall figure in the hallway.
"What the hell? Jackie, it's me. Donna?"
Only inches away from the potential murderer and rapist Jackie stopped in her tracks, realizing that the guy with the long hair was indeed her redheaded friend who had called her yesterday to tell her she would come for a visit. But Jackie had assumed that meant next weekend and not the next day. In the backgrounds the Spice Girls were still blasting but before she could turn the music off the other woman had pulled her in for one of her feared bear hugs.
"I'm so glad to see you, Jackie. Why don't we go and get some breakfast somewhere?"
"I didn't think you would be here the next day, I would have prepared something... Let me just throw on some clothes and we can go get something at the diner in town. Just make yourself comfortable."
Jackie pointed towards the living room, shut off the stereo and hurried upstairs to her bedroom. Now hers. Formerly theirs. She pushed away the thoughts and memories lining up to invade her wonderful morning and opened her closet.
Ten minutes later she was actually ready to go, wearing a pair of dark jeans and a white cashmere sweater. She wasn't too big on makeup these days, a little powder, mascara and lip gloss, her hair back in a loose ponytail and now she was ready to go.
Not to her surprise she caught Donna with her feet up reading a magazine, of course her friend had anticipated an hour long wait, but that was Jackie Burkhart. Jackie Hyde... Now, that was a completely different story. That was a woman who didn't waste any more time in front of the mirror, on a morning like this, than she had to. It would probably shock her old friends, but to her job at the radio station where she had a two hour oldie show every Saturday she sometimes went with no make up at all. She was too old to care but not old enough to let herself go completely. But having three kids she had learned to get her priorities straight. Like picking having a nice breakfast catching up with an old friend over spending an hour getting ready with a hole in her stomach.
"Are you ready? Already? Wow."
"No use to try hiding the wrinkles and those circles under my eyes just to go to that pukehole of a town and get breakfast."
Donna looked at her, eyebrows raised but Jackie shrugged it off. That woman hadn't tried for anything but smalltalk in 20 years and now she expected her to be just like she had been when she had left Point Place, but that wasn't exactly the case. Taking a deep breath she reminded herself to stay calm and try to get things right again. She really missed her old friends and even though she knew she would never be able to get the old times in the basement back, she could still try and make things right in the present.
"Is that your huge black SUV out there?"
"No, that belongs to the guy who wants to rob you when we're gone."
"Ts, really. I think we take my car, it doesn't scream mom as loud as yours does."
With that she took her car keys and headed for the door in the kitchen, almost hidden by the huge refrigerator in the corner. It was leading them into a garage big enough to fit two cars, their little red vintage Camaro that they had bought after the kids were out of the house and...
"The El Camino?"
Shrugging Jackie walked around the Camaro and opened the driver's door.
"Do you think he'd ever sell it? Of course we still have it. He got it from Leo. Besides... there are a lot of memories attached..."
With a little dirty grin she started the car, opened the garage door per remote and backed out. These days she chose to ignore the other car in the garage as much as possible. Too many times she had found him sitting in it, listening to music, drinking a beer. There were probably still some empty cans inside and she really didn't want to know what else she would find. Most of the time she had retreated back to the house and left him alone until he came back out.
They spent the ten minute drive to town in silence, each one deep in thoughts but not too uncomfortable. The fact that Donna had offered to come here to help her had shifted something in their strained relationship. All those years they had seen each other on Kitty's and Red's birthdays, 4th of Julys and even some Christmases, but they had always carefully avoided to talk to each other about anything serious and it hat hurt them both more than they wanted to admit. It had taken a lot for them to get to the point where they could let go and try to make up.
At the diner Jackie headed straight for a booth in the far corner, giving her friend time to adjust to the surroundings while they walked across the floor. When they arrived she turned sideways to slide onto the huge bench and smiled at the expression she saw on Donna's face.
"I know, it's a bit...retro."
The floor was in the typical black and white tile checkered style while pretty much everything else was either red or silver. Buddy Holly was playing in the background and the only thing out of place was the bored, washed out waitress.
"They seem to come with every diner."
Jackie whispered across the table and Donna started laughing madly, trying to compose herself when said woman approached them with coffee and two menus. They quickly decided, Jackie recommended the "Lumberjack Breakfast" with a giddy smile, and waited for the waitress to bring the food when they discovered the tiny jukebox on their table.
"Oh my god Jackie, look at the songs in there. Are we that old that the songs from our youth are in there? In this novelty retro junk?"
"That's why we used to go here all the time. Steven couldn't stop laughing when he had his sausage breakfast listening to Jefferson Airplane."
They both paused for a moment, relishing the thought of him being there, thinking about his sense of humor and appreciation for the irony in everything. Especially if it had anything to do with being high.
"We haven't had a circle in... a long time."
"True. We hid it from the kids pretty well I guess. Every other weekend when we went out for a movie or something. Of course they caught on when they got older... I wish we hadn't..."
"Jackie, stop it. It's not your fault. He's been doing it for what? Thirty years? There you have it. Be glad he didn't turn out like Leo and just disappeared one day because he completely forgot about you."
Jackie looked down and the table where her right hand played with a paper napkin and smiled.
"He never did."
"There you go darling, a mushroom omelet with cheese for you, brown toast, and a...cottage cheese with fruit for you sweetie. Can I do anything else for ya?"
They both shook their heads and thanked her. The second the waitress disappeared into the kitchen they exploded with laughter, not only about the walking cliche but also about their food choices. Talk about role reversal.
"So, you're still into the whole healthy living thing?"
"Well, Eric has a family history of heart problems so I think we're better off this way."
"Is he still so damn skinny?"
"You've seen him two months ago Jackie, you know he is. But he says he fits right in with all these skinny people now."
"He said the same thing twenty years ago about Mick Jagger."
They laughed again and started their breakfast, feeling more comfortable with each other by the minute. Jackie found herself wondering why they hadn't done anything like this ten years ago. But she already knew the answer.
"This is really... I enjoy this. And I regret that we didn't do this earlier. I was kind of hoping you would say something, but... Look, I'm sorry for what I did back then. I wasn't a good friend.I was a bitch. I was too busy moping about Eric to stand by your side and all this time I defended it by saying I was just trying to be nice. And I was scared all of these years that you would blow me off if I tried to do anything, you know. I thought that after Red's death we would see each other more often and... But obviously it didn't work..."
Jackie shook her head and gave her old friend a sad smile.
"It's not entirely your fault. I could have made the step but didn't, that makes me guilty, too. But Red's death... Parents are supposed to die before you. It took somebody of us to die to make us realize that we don't have all the time in the world, you know..."
"I really wish it hadn't, Jackie. You have no idea what I would give to get him back. I just never realized that you two were meant to be, you know. I always thought everybody had to be like Eric and me."
"God, no! Donna, that would be horrible!"
Donna laughed and reched across the table to slap her arm.
"But really... I wish you could have seen him how I saw him. He was a wonderful man and he really changed. Before... everything fell down on us. I mean, who would have thought... God Donna, it was really way more then sex. Even though... That was definitely worth a lot. A LOT."
She looked up and saw Donna giving her one of the strangest looks she had ever seen. Her eyes were wet and a few tears had rolled across her cheeks, but she managed to look giddy and mischievous at the same time.
"I'm not hungry at all... Say... You know where to get...", she looked around nervously, you know..."
Grinning Jackie pushed away her plate and got her wallet out of her purse, counting a few bills and slapping them on the table.
"Donna, this is one of the best ideas you've ever had. Once more, for the old time's sake!"
Thirty minutes later
They had spent the last fifteen minutes in her car, smoking and talking about nothing particular on the shoulder of the dirt road that led up to her house. Luckily enough she had found some CDs in the car with oldies on them. The fact that she owned MP3 CDs now instead of tapes still felt new and strange to her. But to hear The Doors without the cracking of a record player just wasn't the right thing, so they decided to drive back and dig out the old records.
They left the car in the driveway and walked up to the front porch when they became aware of music in deafening volumes coming from the house-which could only mean one thing. Jackie was about to warn Donna, but she had already walked up to the house and opened the door, so Jackie hurried to follow her.
In the door to the kitchen she found her friend standing frozen in place, staring with her mouth hanging open at what she saw.
Currently screaming "My cock is much bigger than yours" was her middle child, Steven, 20 years old and rightfully named after his dad. He had inherited the full set of looks from his dad and from the distance across the kitchen he completely looked like him with his curls, just a tad bit too long, his black concert shirt and jeans. He was bouncing from side to side, turning a pancake, still singing along to whatever the song was, completely unaware that he had company.
Then he turned around and gave Donna a full view over his appearance, including a black Led Zeppelin shirt.
"Holy SHIT!"
They both yelled at the same time and Jackie walked over to the kitchen table and grabbed the remote, ending the torture to her ears and turning around to her son and her friend who were still staring at each other.
"Donna, this is Steven."
"Fuck yes it is."
"My son. Named after his father?"
"Hey, I was listening to this."
Her son looked back and forth between his mother and her friend he remembered as his aunt D, a smirk slowly surfacing. He took his plate and sat down at the table, still shifting his eyes back and forth. Then he bursted out in laughter.
"I can't believe this. My mom and her friend are baked."
"No Steven, we are NOT."
"Mom, I know stoned when I see it."
He leaned back and crossed his arms across his chest and it still hurt Jackie to see him. He was a carbon copy of his dad which made it hard for her to be around him sometimes. Only his eyes were different, they were still blue, but not as piercing as his dad's had been. Maybe it was the lack of distrust in them.
"What are you doing here, anyway?"
He shrugged and startet to eat his breakfast, a telltale sign that he didn't like the direction this conversation was taking.
"Steven, what did you do now?"
Opening his eyes wide he looked up at her, trying to fake indignation.
"Mom! Can't a son just visit his mother without any ulterior motives?"
"Not if it is you. Spill it or wait until I find out and face my wrath."
He gave in, knowing very well that she wouldn't give up anyway. One time when he had been sent home from school because he had willingly blown up half of the classroom out of boredom during chemistry class, she had followed him through the house for two hours straight, asking the same question over and over again. "Steven, what did you do now", the mantra of his childhood.
"Okay, I thought I might stay for a week. You know, because it's Ambers birthday next weekend..."
"Aha, so you thought you just abandon the business and stay here to drool over her friends?"
The color of his face turned a very subtle pink, but aside from that his face remained expressionless while he stared at his pancakes, playing with a piece of butter on top of the stack.
"I can very well deal with everything from here. You know, humankind has cell phones and internet now."
"I guess Zoe is going to come, too."
"I guess."
He started eating again and Jackie knew she had hit the nerve. Her son had had a crush on her sisters best friend for years now but for reasons she understood very well had never made a move on her. Of course she had carefully interrogated her daughter to find out that Zoe was more than interested, but Jackie had decided not to interfer with the kids business.
"So, you are stoned again, huh."
"You make it sound like I was stoned every freaking day."
Donna had meanwhile gathered her wits and sat down next to Jackie, carefully watching Steven eating his breakfast. She was obviously still stunned by the boy she had last seen when he was twelve. At the funeral she hadn't been paying attention to anything, so to walk in on him in her mindset right now had been a bit of a shock, especially since he was wearing that shirt. He saw her staring at it and grinned.
"Cool, huh. Found it on ebay. It's vintage."
"Steven, we got three tons of vintage upstairs."
"That's something different. I will not wear dad's clothes now, it's enough that I'm taking over the business. Besides, they always say it is better if you win it."
Sticking out his tongue a little he grinned and leaned back in his chair again, eyeing his mom and his aunt.
"So, are you guys getting all nostalgic tonight, smoking pot and listening to old records, talking about how GREAT everything has been back then?"
"One day you will find yourself in the same situation, believe me."
Donna gave him a knowing look, trying to be serious but she failed miserably. She started to laugh and Jackie quickly joined her.
"Oh my god, I totally forgot how we get... Jackie, remember how the guys would record what they said in the circle to listen to it afterwards?"
"Yes. Didn't they want to destroy the evidence?"
"Actually they buried it with some other things they didn't want anybody to see in the backyard. Well, guess what I found when we tried to dig out a hole for a pond?"
"No WAY!"
"Yes. It's all in the trunk. Eric would kill me if he knew. I didn't listen to it, I thought I'll wait until I come here so we can do it together."
"Do you realize how weird it is to sit on a table with adults, fuck, your own mother who is high as a kite?"
"Calm down, Steven. Don't you have any friends to visit? Aunt Donna and I have a lot to talk about."
"Yeah, that does it for me. I really don't want to be around when you get Donnie Osmond out and fan yourself."
Steven got up, laughing again and shaking his head.
"If I ever tell this to anyone they will send me straight to a therapist. I'm the one supposed to be stoned here getting my ass kicked for it. Not the other way around."
"And we all know that it isn't what you should do. You know that it could happen to you, too. It's in your genes."
"I know. But it's still funny as hell. I gotta call Amber. She will never believe me!"
When he was outside Donna smiled at her.
"All of your good qualities combined in one... He's gotta be an even bigger troublemaker than his dad."
"Actually, it's not too bad. I mean, the only thing left on our list was angry parents calling because he got their daughter pregnant, but he made it through school and he's pretty smart. So... it all evens out."
One hour later
In the basement
The room in the basement was filled with thick smoke and pictures from the box Donna had brought were scattered all over the floor. The two women were sitting on a thick area rug in the middle of the room, an ashtray between them and empty bottles of coke and bags of chips piled up behind them. Jackie was currently trying to get a Twinkie wrapper out of her hair.
"Donna, here it is, I found it. Remember that one summer when we all drove out to this lake in Kelso's van and got so high and we were dancing and laughing until we couldn't stand up anymore? We listened to Jefferson Airplane all day long and for once everybody agreed on the same music?"
"And I also remember Hyde first going on about how Alice in Wonderland was all about drugs and then dragging you off into the bushes for two hours. You came back looking like you fought some wild cats. He even had some leaves in his hair..."
Donna cried with laughter, rolling around on the floor. Jackie still held up a group picture somebody had made of them, she couldn't remember who, because they were all in it. Kelso was wearing swim trunks, holding up his hand behind Fez's head, giving him bunny ears. Fez was wearing even tighter shorts and she shuddered and quickly moved on to Donna and Eric. Donna was actually wearing a bikini and some flowing skirt, Eric was in shorts and a tee, his hair a mess, a broad grin on his face. He looked so stoned... And then, there they were. She was wearing a triangle bikini in rainbow colors and she had a scarf tied around her head. Tears stung in her eyes when she saw her younger self, so happy, wrapped in the well toned arms of the man she had loved all those years. He wasn't wearing a shirt and because he was standing sideways there actually were some scratches on his back visible.
"Those were the days, huh?"
Donna nudged her in the side and smiled at her and she finally remembered what she wanted to do.
"Let's listen to the song."
She jumped up and with one grip had the record out of the box standing next to the record player-they had kept all the old records and the favorites were always ready in that particular box.
One pill makes you
larger
And one pill makes you small
And the ones that mother
gives you
Don't do anything at all
Go ask Alice
When she's
ten feet tall
"Jackie, look at this picture here! Oh my god, we were so young! I had just started dating Eric!"
And if you go chasing
rabbits
And you know you're going to fall
Tell 'em a hookah
smoking caterpillar
Has given you the call
Recall Alice
When
she was just small
"We were so young... And so damn clueless. You know what, I think we've got a lava lamp somewhere down here. Steven got it for me...ugh, I don't know, but I was still in school."
"Really?"
When men on the
chessboard
Get up and tell you where to go
And you've just had
some kind of mushroom
And your mind is moving low
Go ask
Alice
I think she'll know
"Yeah, he made that stupid joke that I could put it in my window so he could follow the light and wouldn't get lost and land in the neighbors bedroom instead. But I actually used it to warn him if my parents happened to be home."
"Huh. I thought he didn't make you any gifts back then."
When logic and
proportion
Have fallen sloppy dead
And the White Knight is
talking backwards
And the Red Queen's "off with her
head!"
Remember what the dormouse said:
"FEED YOUR
HEAD"
"He did, but we just didn't tell."
She paused a moment to remember all the tiny things he had given her when they were young, even though he kept saying he wasn't that type of guy. He was, but in his very own way.
Jackie got up and started rummaging through the huge closet that took up the entire back wall of the room when she finally found it.
"Here, we can plug it in!"
She placed it on a small table next to her and plugged into the nearest socket-nothing.
"It doesn't work, Donna!"
Pouting Jackie looked over to her friend who was still looking at old pictures and barely lifted her eyes off of them.
"Let me look at it. Huh, that's weird. There is a piece of paper jammed into it... Jackie... I think it's a note."
Jackie wasn't able to grasp what Donna had just said to her, because her mind was running wild and images flashed in her head. All the times Steven had set up those stupid paper chases for her. The riddles she had to solve that led her to the next clue. The underlined text in his last letter. What he had said about the stupid lava lamp. And it was finally coming together.
In the light you will find the road.
"Steven... You have set up another paper chase for me...
Take a few and tell me what you think, eh?
