A/N: I'm so sorry for taking so long to update. I meant to within a few days, but I've had a really bad migraine for a month now and my time spent on electronics has been cut short. But Chapter 2 is here and it is around the same length (Word count: 3,549).

Thank you for all the favorites and follows.

I don't own anything.

And please let me know what you think.


The car ride didn't do much to ease her tension or anger. It wasn't the first time Barton's life had been threatened. Being a notorious spy and assassin for a government agency like S.H.I.E.L.D puts you in several situations where it was do-or-die. But in those situations, at least ninety percent of the time, she'd had his back. If anything went wrong, they could count on each other to make it through that hell.

But this was different.

Even when they weren't on the same mission and he was alone on the battlefield with no one to cover his six, she could do something. Either distract herself with a mission, provide backup if need be, give advice through the comm.'s or be apart of a rescue mission, but there wasn't any backup she could provide this time. The only person who could save his life was him– she couldn't provide any assistance if he didn't want to be.

She knew leaving him with May was a risk. It wasn't that she didn't trust May, she trusted her more than other agents and even considered her a friend – something she lacked. No, the reason she knew it was risky was because there was one thing they had in common now more than ever: a questionable sense of self-worth and an uncanny ability to blame and punish themselves for their past actions. However, there wasn't anybody right now who could better understand his grief for Phil, his resentment for himself and the guilt that flooded him than her.

That didn't mean she thought they would actually get married. She was counting on them finding a loophole, as they always did. There was nothing that inspired two people more than the desire to find a better, more liked option.

Sighing, she let her head relax against the headrest while she parked the car and got out. As she walked over to the private elevator, she took notice of the two agents standing guard. They still hadn't moved post, which was actually a good thing, since that meant Agent Wilson wasn't back from reevaluating the case. As she waited for the elevator to arrive, she heard ringing coming her phone and she slipped it out and then pressed it to her ear.

"Romanoff."

"I figured you'd want an update on the case," Maria said.

Natasha rose an eyebrow and entered the Stark-style elevator, that unsurprisingly looked as luxurious as the rest of the hose. "Isn't that against S.H.I.E.L.D protocol?"

The Deputy Director snorted over the phone and Natasha glanced at the security camera in the corner as the elevator began its trek to the top floors.

"So is lying to a senior agent."

"What's the update?"

"Barton being engaged isn't going to stop the Council from taking action."

She figured as much, it had started out as nothing more than a distraction to buy some time. Time she planned on using on creating a plan, but she still didn't have a solid one yet.

"What about marriage?" It was worth a shot to ask, she expected the same answer, but Natasha was desperate. And Natasha was never desperate.

Hill sighed over the phone. "Marriage isn't much different. You bought him time, but the council is looking for someone to blame."

"And a mind-controlled agent is the easiest." Especially when the agent didn't care about his life. If he was in his right mind he would fight this to the end, but he wasn't. And it wasn't that she believed Loki still had a hold on him, she was certain he didn't. If Loki did, he wouldn't be in solitude grieving the loss of a man Loki killed.

No, this was his own choice.

He avoided the subject for as long as possible, which seeing as she wanted to talk about it just as much as he did wasn't difficult. They went back to the couches and started on a bottle of liquor, the proposal fresh in their mind, not that it was actually a proposal. More like an ultimatum, either they had to put their brains together and come up with an idea, or suck it up and get married.

He didn't want to get married for three simple reasons: one, it was May; two, it wouldn't work; and three it was May.

He doubted she wanted to either. Despite their current relationship – if you could even call it a relationship – they were nothing more than friends. Two friends which had been brought together by one man, a man that was now dead. Except for the daily pranks done together – which no longer occurred – Coulson was what held them together.

Not S.H.I.E.L.D, not the missions they liaised on, not even Nat. It had been Phil, who introduced them, kept them in check and covered for them on more than one occasion.

Just thinking about it – him – caused a sharp, painful reminder that he wasn't there. And wouldn't be able to help settle their arguments, find compromises, or be the best man at his wedding – if he got married, he corrected. That was still up for debate.

Guzzling his drink, he turned over to May, who looked to be thinking about his dilemma also. He wasn't joking when he said May would honestly prefer for him to be in lockup, he was certain she would, which is why he was more than certain she wouldn't agree. But instead of focusing on it and trying to find a solution, he let his mind drift.

"You know, Natasha won't let you give up," Melinda said, breaking the silence between them.

"I'm not," He told her and she resisted an unladylike snort.

"You can't drink away this problem."

"That's rich coming from you."

She paused, briefly, knowing exactly what he was referring and he wasn't wrong; she didn't have much room to talk. But she had been there, different situation, but same self-loathing. And four years later and she was still dealing with it.

After dropping her stuff off on her floor, she entered the main gathering room where Stark was in conversation with Steve, undoubtedly about this Clint situation. Waltzing over to them, Natasha stood next to Steve as Tony turned to face her.

"Romanoff, where have you been?"

"Trying to get Clint married," She replied with ease and Steve turned to her surprised at her response. He expected her to take a more traditional route, like appealing to the council, or even talking to Fury; not marrying him off.

"He's actually getting married?" As much as Steve wanted Barton to be free and clear – it wasn't the man he was in control of his actions – he couldn't say he approved of the solution Natasha came up with. Especially when he knew very little about this woman, and from what he did know, a healthy relationship was questionable at best. Trying to kill each other wasn't exactly a good basis for a marriage, but if he was already sleeping with her… marrying her would be doing right by her.

Natasha shook her head, knowing full well the answer, even without Clint telling her. "Clint's going to do what he wants. And he doesn't want to get married, at least not to her. He'll come up with different alternative and try to find a solution that doesn't involve marriage."

"Tricking him into finding a loophole." Tony nodded in approval.

If only it was that easy.

Originally, Natasha had thought she could simply trick him into finding a loophole. She knew he was more than capable of doing so, and she had anticipated some pull back – she actually welcomed it, but what she didn't expect, and had hoped he would shake off was his self-loathing.

It wasn't an easy task, and for some people, it took years to overcome, but she, alongside Clint, Phil and Maria, managed to save May from herself. Now she was counting on the woman to return the favor.

He couldn't come with a single loophole to his situation, not that he actually even tried. There wasn't a reason to; he deserved whatever S.H.I.E.L.D threw at him. Whether it be death, or life in prison. He killed fellow S.H.I.E.L.D agents, came close to killing Natasha and he was responsible for his mentor's death. Even if S.H.I.E.L.D managed to forgive him, he couldn't forgive himself.

He didn't think about the marriage proposal– it wasn't going to happen. There isn't enough alcohol in the world for that. While he cared for May, she was strictly a friend with a few added benefits, but only for the time being. Eventually, not that he saw it happening anytime soon, they would sober up and agree to put this whole fluke behind them.

He took another sip from his bottle and trained eyes on the blank wall, his head falling back in defeat. "How long do you think until S.H.I.E.L.D finds us?"

Melinda turned to him, knowing exactly what he was thinking. "No," She told him with as much austerity as she could muster and he twisted yo face her, his face one or surprise. "You're not turning yourself in."

Clint merely shrugged, she had been right about his thoughts, he did consider turning himself, but her disapproval didn't change his train of thoughts. There wasn't a point in drawing it out, either way he would end up in S.H.I.E.L.D's prison condemned to whatever torture they choose. Not that there was any torture they could concoct that was worse than the guilt he deserved to feel.

"They're going to find me anyway, might as well speed up the time."

She knew exactly what was going through his mind, that desire to be punished– she felt it and still to this day did it surface in her mind. And it took many people to convince her to stop her from doing suicide missions.

"Natasha will continue to distract them till she finds a way out."

Clint snorted. "And how's that working out for her, huh?"

"His death isn't your fault."

"I thought you didn't do pep talks." It was something about her he had come to greatly accept in the past six weeks. She didn't try and convince him he was wrong and cheer him up. Instead, she just joined him in his grieving.

Sighing, Melinda said, "You're just being stupid."

She had expected him to retort with some snide comment, turn it back on her, or hell even shout. What she didn't expect, and what made her pause, was when he leaned back in the chair, eyes closed. "I can't forgive myself."

"You're going to have to."

He didn't turn to glance at her, or retort with a scornful comment, instead he simply asked, with nothing except for curiosity defeat in his voice, "Have you?"

Melinda shook her head, slightly, choosing not to lie to give him hope. "No."

"I got nothing, Mels."

"Me either."

Clint turned to her and met her eyes – the ones that once held a spark of life – and after a moment, he came to a conclusion. "Wait it out then."

She considered leaving. She needed to talk to Clint, that was far more important than any meeting. It wasn't like there was a mission, or the meeting would drawl any real benefit. It would be a chance for an update on the situation with Clint, but if she was that desperate to know she could have Stark hack in. She didn't need to meet, yet she did.

If Maria choose to meet in person when she was swarmed with paperwork at S.H.I.E.L.D, then things must've taken a turn for the worse, and skipping the appointment could only make it worse. Before her stay at S.H.I.E.L.D was strictly based on Clint, if this occurred back when she was still new to S.H.I.E.L.D she would be killed without a doubt. But she made a name for herself within S.H.I.E.L.D and now it was her turn to save him.

She owed him.

Natasha glanced up from her coffee when she saw Maria Hill enter and lock eyes with her. Walking over, she took a seat in the booth across from her and laid her hands on the table.

"I see you got my message."

"Have they found Clint?"

"No," Maria said and sighed. "But I can't keep hiding where he is. I know he's at the safe house."

She figured she would, after all Maria had visited him and knew well enough Natasha wouldn't move him from the only secure location. There wasn't a safe house standing S.H.I.E.L.D didn't know about– that being the only exception.

Natasha leaned back in the seat, knowing for now Clint was alright. "They can't lock him up."

"They won't," Maria said and Natasha glanced at her. Sighing, Maria leaned forward to explain. "Fury negotiated with the council. He can keep his life, but his position within S.H.I.E.L.D is under consideration."

"By under consideration you mean he doesn't have one."

"He did try and bring the Helicarrier down," Maria said, not needing to remind her.

"Under Loki's influence."

"I know. That's why he is suspended for the time being. In a year he will have a reevaluation with a psychologist and they will decide if he is can return or not. But he has to have an evaluation." They both knew that was next to impossible. The one time they got him into medical after the battle was for a few minutes and he left within two minutes of arriving. If he was in his apartment, S.H.I.E.L.D would've dragged him back. But with him hiding out they couldn't.

Natasha let out a relieved breath. "He'll be free."

"Natasha, wait," She said and the redhead glanced up at the Deputy Director. "You told a senior agent Clint was engaged. They're expecting a fiancée."

"Or they'll accuse him of having me cover for him."

"Yes. Or you can confess–" Maria shook her head, having already thought through all the viable options. "Nothing can prevent the punishment."

They had only left the house a handful of times since first locking themselves away. The first reason was to get more liquor as they went through far more than what was considered healthy in the course of a single week. Then again, there were two of them, so their normal supply had to be doubled.

The second time was to go to the bar. They had only gone one time in the duration of their grieving and that was directly after the funeral. Unlike all the other attendees of the funeral, instead of attending the reception Stark had pulled together, they hit the bar. It was easier than listening to a bunch of teary-eyed agents go on about how great an agent he was when they hardly knew him. Melinda and Clint knew how good an agent he was, they had been by his side through most, if not all, or his journey through S.H.I.E.L.D..

Only they missed his final moments. She did, because she abandoned her partner when the field got too rough and pushed him, along with everyone else, away. But he pushed back and fought his way in, yet she didn't fight her way to stay at his side.

"And Nat said I had a problem."

Melinda glanced up from her almost-empty glass, an eyebrow raised and stared at him. "You have many."

Clint snorted, he wasn't entirely disagreeing, but…she made a habit of deflecting. "You're self-loathing."

"I've only had two drinks," She said as an explanation and then proceeded to finish her second. She wasn't drunk, at least not yet, she fully planned on changing that situation. And had they not ran out of liquor as early as they had, she had no doubt she would already be.

He smirked at that. "Then another." Clint waved his hand at the bartender and ordered a round of shots. At the rate he was going, he would be the first drunk, though she would be a close second. As any previous restraint that kept her from consuming enough to lower her guard was gone.

"This is a bad idea," She had said, yet when the shot glasses arrived in front of them, they each took one and downed it.

Setting the shot glass down, Clint turned to her with a slight shrug. "We'll make the same mistake here as we do at home. At least here we'll be drunk."

And what he didn't mention, nor did he have to, is that by being drunk, they wouldn't have to deal with the one thing they had avoided since they begin their 'relationship'— feelings, both related to one another and their deceased friend.

Whenever her phone rang at two in the morning, it was never good.

Typically, it meant a S.H.I.E.L.D mission, or Clint simply being bored. However, the last time it was the police holding two very drunk S.H.I.E.L.D agents involved in a bar fight that put quite a few civilians in the hospital. They had since been kept away from the bar for civilian's safety— nothing could be said for their own.

Answering it, she hoped the world didn't need saving, nor did Barton. S.H.I.E.L.D's charges maybe been dropped against him, but nothing could be said for the local police if he was arrested. While state prisons were much kinder in comparison to S.H.I.E.L.D's, if S.H.I.E.L.D caught wind of any assault charges filed against him, he would without a doubt be back where he started.

"Hey, Nat!" He shouted through the phone, sounding far too chipper for her liking and she winced. Natasha leaned over in the bed to reach her nightstand and she checked the time on the clock.

"Clint, it's two-thirty. Why are you calling?" He better not of got arrested, she wasn't in the mood to go down to the precinct and bail him out.

"We ran out of booze," Clint said as a way of explaining.

Natasha sighed and asked, "Did you kill Melinda?" While a part of her was joking, her voice was serious; it wasn't as if she hadn't considered the possibility one of them would kill each other. Their guards were low enough and they could easily push the other over the edge as they were already standing on it. Just one wrong word and they could snap.

"No! Why would you assume that?" To her surprise, he sounded shocked and actually offended; maybe he was sober.

"Do you really want me to answer that? Anyway, if you didn't kill her, why are you calling? I'm not going to a store to buy you more liquor at two in the morning."

"No, Mels and I already went to the bar." She sighed again having a feeling of where this was going. "Then we went to the chapel."

Her eyes widened and her mouth fell agape at his words that innocent enough held much a bigger truth. What the hell? She was expecting arrest, not marriage. Never marriage. She had to search his voice for any sign of deceit, counting on this being some sort of prank of his. They after all were good pranksters and this was the longest Clint had gone without pulling one and she couldn't remember the last time May pulled one. They were due.

But his voice held nothing except for honesty and solemnity. He was telling the truth and she had to tighten the grip on her phone to keep it from falling from her hand and to the floor.

When she proposed marriage, she never expected them to actually go through with it. It was nothing more than a motivator and cover. Even when she learned he needed a fiancée, she simply planned to explain herself and accept the punishment. She was never going to go to them and request that they forget any resentment they held for one another and get hitched.

Well, crap. This was going to bite her in the ass in the morning.