"GRRRRRRROAAAAAAAAN" the noise was loud and ear shattering, as the massive beast let out a year's worth of bowel build up. "DAWNKEH, I NEED MORE TOILET PAPER!" yelled the Scottish sounding creature.
"Well dammit, Shrek, we ain't got no more toilet paper!" exclaimed Donkey from outside of the outhouse. Shrek was busy taking a massive shit, probably the best shit that had ever escaped his wretched green nether regions.
"I think I'm gonna be a bit longa Dawnkey." Shrek muttered, begining to pant heavily.
"Well dammit Shrek, we gotta get to da castle!"
"I JUST WANT TO LET A WEE LITTLE WEEDRAT OUT FIRST!"
"OH DAMMIT SHREK, DIS AINT NO TIME FOR STERBATIN'!"
Suddenly without warning, the ground began to shudder, the earth trembling with magnificent force.
"GROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAN" came the sound as Shrek squeezed out the final pieces of his feces. A massive crater began to shatter the floor beneath him, his small home in the swamp exploding spontaneously as the world around him died.
And all went black. Once you go black, you can never go back.
It was a cloudy day in Japan. Kyon was just heading home from school when he realized something falling out of the sky. A large green meteor seemed to be hurdling towards the ground below.
"Damn, I need to really lay off the wacky tobacky" murmured Kyon, as he was striken powerfully in the right knee by some sort of feathered projectile, "I guess I'd better go check out what that green meteor is, I bet Ms. Suzumayo is fuckin shit up all ova da damn place."
End of Chapter 2.
