Tape One: Phantom Menace Boogie

Track One

A Galaxy Far Far Away

The day was early or at least as early as it could be with them being in space. Most of the Ravagers were sleeping either due to a hangover or just a pure want to sleep in or possibly it was just that early. In either case Ben was awake and active. Ben Quill was tinkering with his machine that he'd recently acquired from the market that was supposedly from a place called Shili or was it Shul? Ah well whatever it was a long range communicator and Ben was eager to see if he could get it integrated with the Milano so that he could pick signals from outside the galaxy and possibly into the one which this one originated from. It promised for great riches of the Ravagers if this worked. That and the so-called hyperdrive promised that if he discovered a signal he'd be able to get there.

"Dude, bro what'cha doing?" Peter asked groggily as he yawned as he climbed up the ladder out of his bunk in the Milano. "You know it's way too early for this stuff. You should be sleeping like all other sane people are doing right now or at the very least getting some damn caff or something. Seriously."

"Uh huh."

"You ain't even listening to me are you?"

"Uh huh."

"Liar."

"Imbecile."

"Jerk."

"Flirt."

"That's right," Peter grinned at the perceived compliment. "But seriously what are you doing?"

"Seeing if I can fix this communicator that I got in the market a couple of weeks ago. I've already installed supposedly faster hypergate tech on the Milano last night."

"You mean those things that were sold by the shady vendor from what was that place called? Kamio? Something like that? Either case I think that guy was shady," Ben snorted at the descriptor. He was certainly one to talk considering they were pirates.

"Okay shadier than normal," Peter amended. "Is it that stuff that's supposedly from another galaxy far, far away? Those pieces of junk?" Peter blinked at the nearly completed piece of equipment. "I still say that you got swindled. There's no way in hell there's something out there that far and if there is the Kree and Nova Empire would've found it or the Skrulls or the Badoons or if what to get technical even the Asgardians."

"Yes because they know everything about the universe naturally like about my laser sword and my quite frankly "freakish powers" as you call them."

"Hey," Peter held up his hands in a surrender gesture. "I'm just saying ya know? But hey what the blazes? I'd say give it a shot. Ain't like we've got nothing left to loss. But I'm just gonna say right now if that hyperdrive hunk of junk busts my ship I'm gonna kill ya."

"That's the spirit," Ben grinned at him. "If I can get this working then we've gotta whole galaxy to explore and exploit so no worries."

"Sweet," Peter smiled. "Awfully sweet. I hope it'll work because that would be awesome."

"My thoughts exactly," Ben replied as he slammed the top down on the comm system readying it for a turn on. "Now all we have to do is fire this baby up and see if my tinkering at kill-me-all-o-clock is worth it."

"I hope so," Peter commented. "Oh and keep the volume down okay? I don't wanna lose my hearing."

"Noted," Ben agreed as he flipped the last switch. Nothing happened much to his annoyance. After a second Peter laughed at him holding his gut as he chucked with glee. Ben glared at him as he sullenly kicked the console annoyed by his failure and the uselessness of the machine. He'd been so sure he'd gotten it right. He fiddled with what he assumed was the frequency scan. Come on work you piece of trash!

"Nice," Peter snorted once he'd gotten control of himself causing Ben to glare at him. "So you wasted all your time on a piece of scrap. Ha! Now I get to do the patented see-I-told-so dance..."

Suddenly there was a loud screech made them both jump and snapping their attention back to the console which hummed to life. Then with a pop an image appeared above the device hovering in front them like a celestial spector. It was an alien that none of them had seen before in their many travels with the Ravagers. Tall with horns and snake tentacles sticking out of the back and sides of their head. They were light blue in the light of the projection with white markings all over their face. Right now they gesturing and babbling in infuriating familiar tongue that Ben could just understand if he just concentrated...

"That's an alien," Peter squeaked staring in shock at the sudden working communication console. "Ah man, yeah baby it works. It honestly works. Holy cow! You were right!"

"Shut up," Ben snapped. "I'm trying to listen to them."

"You can understand them?!"

"Peter!"

Peter obliged and shut his mouth even as he bounced silently from excitement. Ben leaned over and listened carefully to what was being said. It was odd kinda like recalling a long forgotten piece of music but once he concentrated he started to understand what was being said.

"Yes she's strong in the Ashla and she's all ready to be shipped off with you."

"The parents?"

"Not a concern considering they're died, no one will be the wiser."

"Good meet me at the assigned place at Jabba's and we can make the trade off before the Boonta Eve happens."

"It's a kidnapping," Ben reported looking at Peter shocked. "Someone's gonna kidnap a kid, sounds like a slaver from the sounds of it."

"Whoa dude," Peter muttered as he grabbed his coat from the chair it was hanging off of. "Well jeez man...just aw man. We gotta stop those hombres from getting that kid."

"Wait what?"

His inquiry remained unanswered since Peter had dashed into the cockpit and began firing up the engines. Concerned Ben rushed into the cockpit and quickly sent out the signal that opened up the bay doors before Peter in his haste to leave slammed into them.

"Oh right bay doors I know that," Peter muttered embarrassed as they flew past them. "I was totally gonna open them."

"Before or after we slammed into them?" Ben smirked at Peter's embarrassment. "Now that we're out let's punch it."

"With the new drive you installed?"

"Naturally," Ben said as he made adjustments to the instruments. He had a gut feeling that it was supposed to be done and far be it for him to ignore his instincts. Also he felt he was needed somewhere of course that was always present but now...it was most especially urgent making him twitchy.

"Okay here's hoping we don't blow up and die horribly," Peter said once Ben had finished as he pulled down the lever. There was a sudden jolt and then the stars dissolved into streaks of light creating a light tunnel that the ship ran along in. The two of them stared in awe as they went through the tunnel hardly daring to breath.

"That's beautiful," Peter whispered. "This is gotta be the best morning ever."

"Ah huh sure more so then when you were with Quawn that one morning or any of your other beaus?"

"Way better and with less screaming and biting."

Ben laughed. Yes Peter and his conquests were an almost constant source of entertainment for him. So like any good brother he teased at all opportunities. Of course Peter got him back with him teasing about he flirted with other people and his freaky powers so it was all good.

Finally it reached the destination an beep at them so Peter pulled back the level and the entered into normal space only one issue though. Now they were facing what looked like a desert planet in the middle of nowhere.

"Um where in the galaxy are we?" Peter sputtered. "None of these stars match anything I've seen before so..."

A sudden explosion and bellowing of smoke from engine area cut off all questions Peter would've had. "WHAT WAS THAT?! THAT BETTER NOT BE MY SHIP FALLING APART BECAUSE YOUR PIECE OF JUNK DRIVE!"

"Checking on it," Ben said as he dashed into the back compartment where he knew he'd installed the drive. The engine around it was fortunately slightly damage however the same could not be said for the drive. "Oh dear." He muttered before turning towards the cockpit and yelling: "Um Peter, I've got good news and bad news!"

"Bad news first so I can be cheered up by the good news!" Peter shouted back. "Okay hit me! What's going on?"

"Okay the drive is shot, we need a new one and it's scorched some the other systems like the power one albeit not too badly!"

"ARE YOU SERIOUSLY KIDDING ME?! ARE YOU TELL ME THAT WE'RE STRANDED HERE IN MIDDLE OF GOD KNOWS WHERE BECAUSE YOUR STUPID DRIVE?!"

"On the plus side impulse still is intact and so are the other systems if a bit scorched!" He sheepishly added hoping to soften the blow.

"Wonderful," He heard Peter grumbled as he headed back to the cockpit. "That's so great bro, so we won't asphyxiate or something just die of old age or starvation instead of getting home." Peter rolled his eyes. "Fantastic."

"We could land on that planet," Ben said pointing towards the planet. He settled into the copilot seat and looked over the scanners fortunately on of the few things not damaged in their little joyride. "Scans say that it's habitable for humanoids...if a bit hot."

"No duh I kinda guessed when I saw the binary system," Peter gestured to the two stars in their viewport. "I'm gonna have to wear sunscreen like nobody's business if I don't wanna die from skin cancer. Is there anything on this rock? Or are we on an uninhabited one?"

"Working on finding that out," Ben said his fingers flying over the controls. "Let's see...There!" He fist pumped as the scan came back positive. "We've got civilization...let's land on the outskirts so we don't attract attention."

"Good idea so we can find this shithead and get that kid outta there."

"My thoughts exactly," Ben agreed. "Now let's get some gear then we'll check out this place."


"Okay have you got sunscreen?" Ben asked as he looked over at Peter. Peter rolled his eyes in retaliation, he could take himself after all. Besides Ben Quill was the one responsible for the drive that had got them into this mess and he was gonna fix it because much as Peter loved exploring the universe he didn't want to be stranded. Being abducted and stranded in space at eight was more than enough to him thank you very much. Although being stuck with his brother was awesome he'd just like it if he was more familiar with the turf.

"Yes mama," he quipped as he adjusted his gun belt and making he still his pick locks and other supplies. "I've got everything you said and more okay? So let's boogie."

"I'm just checking," Ben said as he clipped his laser sword to his similarly equipped belt sans the clips for blasters. His laser sword was a good enough weapon even if he had to constantly charge the power pack after the battle. "Okay now we can go."

"Ya know as much as I appreciate you caring I don't need a mother hen okay? I'm good and if I've forgotten something then you can nag me."

"Does that mean I get to do the privileged see-I-told-you-so-dance?"

"Nope that's mine so you gotta figure your kind of smug victory dance out."

"Jerk," Ben smirked as he opened up the gangplank and descended to the planets surface. "I shall remember this...holy cow it's hot out here! It's boiling hot, I could cook with crockpot in my pants it's that hot out here."

"Are you ser...?" Peter's question brought on by the quoting Good Morning Vietnam, the one of the many R rated movie he'd seen even though he wasn't supposed to like Robocop, Blues Brothers and Terminator, soon died on his lips as a heatwave slammed into him as he made his way down. It was like being in the world's hottest oven turned all the way on and then a fire thrown in for good measure. Whoa it was boiling here, good thing he'd taken Ben's advice for sunscreen. He'd get cancer in this place make no mistake or barring that heatstroke.

"How on Xander can anyone live on this rock?" He muttered as he squinted into desert looking for the settlement that Ben had spoken off. After a few seconds his eyes adjusted and he saw the buildings in the distance. "This is insane. There's gotta be lizard people living here. That's the only way anyone can survive this hellhole. I mean sheesh it's hot."

"Either that or they walk around wrapped up like mummies." Ben quipped as they walked forward into the crowds. As they entered into the settlement with its inhabitants Peter looked around with awe and wonder. It was kinda like when he'd first gone to an alien market with Yondu when he'd just been kidnapped. There were a myriad of beings running around all dressed in desert attire with varying shapes, sizes, body types, looks, hues and colors. It was all so cool...and yet...

"Why can't I understand them?" Peter asked turning towards Ben who'd paused looking rather stunned at the people. "How come you can understand this and I can't?"

"Maybe I was here before I met you and we are in another galaxy so of course they don't know Xandarese or Norski or Badoonian or Kreeksi or the trade language Lejastorish or the other languages," Ben shrugged getting a hold of himself. Then he turned to Peter and said: "Do we need to calibrate yours and my implant so you can understand?"

"That'd be nice," Peter agreed. "I mean I don't mind you playing translator but..."

"We could be separated," Ben nodded as he pulled out a wicked looking knife that actually was the reseter for both their translators implants. "Yeah it's best to put it on learning mode until it gets a feel for the local language."

"Good," Peter said as he steeled himself for the recalibration. "Just do it fast okay?"

"Alright," Ben said as he quickly jabbed the place were it was located in Peter's neck. He hissed but valiantly held still as Ben pressed the button that shocked the implant into learning mode in sync with Peter's. Then after a second he removed it and placing a new protective covering he jabbed himself for good measure causing him to hiss in pain.

"There's gotta be a better way to do this," Peter muttered as he rubbed the sore spot. "That doesn't hurt like the dickens."

"Try being impaled by a Black Order member with partially healed burns then talk to me about pain," Ben retorted as he too rubbed his sore area. "Or beaten by a Kree slavemaster or a Kree overseer for being an arrogant jerk according to them or being nearly beaten to death by opponents bigger then you."

"Okay okay," he held up is hands in surrender. "I get it you've taken some hard knocks."

"You're right I have so quit your bellyaching," Ben smirked as he began to walk forward again. "So woulda think? We find out were this Jabba's place is and then get parts or parts first then kid. I'm leaning towards the first since there's a time limit there."

"Yeah I'll go with the first choice too," Peter agreed. "I mean we can get the kid and then we get the parts."

"Glad we agree on that," Ben said as he looked around just as awed and amazed as he was. "Let's try getting something to eat or drink so we'll be full before we go on our self appointed quest."

"Not arguing with that at all. Lead on," Peter gestured forward. And after a second they went forward towards whatever awaited them.