"Harry..."
Louis' brain suddenly crashed. This wasn't meant to be happening, not now, not ever. The sight of the older boy sent goose bumps down Louis' spine, and suddenly he felt the over whelming sensation to sit down and wrap his head around everything.
If only there was nothing to wrap his head around, then he could be long gone, away from this school, and everything today had brought with it. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case, and he would have to speak sometime soon.
At loss for words, it felt right to look up, and see how Harry was reacting to this, seeing him again.
Harry's eyes were full of disappointment. Instantly, Louis knew that it wasn't a good sign, and he lifted his hands to his face, rubbing his eyes for a moment, as if it weren't real, and with one rub the two people ahead of him would be gone. Knowing that someone was feeling so hurt because him, didn't help Louis' figure out what to do, so when he removed his hands from his eyes and Harry was still standing there, a frown creeping over his face by the second, Louis couldn't help but give an apologetic look.
"Bound to fucking happen huh?" Harry said, with a flat tone showing no emotion in his voice, but his eyes gave him away. "I don't know why I expected more..."
Louis felt his chest clench up, and his palms begin to sweat as he knew he'd made a huge mistake. He could feel his feet aching underneath him to get up and walk away, just run towards his car and leave the awkward predicament he was in. That wouldn't be fair on Harry though, so he stood there and took in a steady breath, preparing himself to speak.
"W-what do you mean?" he chocked, his glance going from Harry towards the eight year old who had sat himself down on the ground with his backpack, starring at his shoes, and back to Harry. If this was a family, they were broken.
"What the fuck do you think I mean?" Harry shouted back, force reaching through his voice with such force that Louis' felt himself literally step back a bit, and look of gloom appear over his face.
The tension remained, as well as the silence and it was minutes before either spoke. Louis' mind was searching for an appropriate response, something that would make him sound like less of the fool he was. He'd mucked up, and he knew it. He shouldn't have not remembered Harry, and he was completely out of reasons on how he could have forgotten him.
Sure, alcohol was involved and that must have been playing a severe part in his moment of memory loss and confusion, but now that images from the previous night started flashing back through his head, he found it almost impossible that he'd been able to forget.
It'd been special, meeting Harry down at the bar. Harry, was a broken teenager, and Louis' was a nervous wreck about the job he was beginning the next day, and they'd both found comfort in each other, but not the way you'd expect. Hours were spent sitting at the bar stool, discussing life, and getting to know each other whilst the bottle of beers kept flowing through their insides, helping them find the comfort to spill their deepest secrets to the stranger who they'd just met.
Louis remembered feeling the happiest he'd been in so long, but in a way that was questionable. It wasn't the usual sense of happiness; in fact it was more comfort than anything. They'd shared secrets about their past, and prospects for their future together, and although Louis' had only known Harry a few hours when he left the bar, he'd known that he'd been one of the truest friends he'd ever had.
But you didn't kiss your friends.
The footsteps of the two boys walking down the path leaving school snapped Louis' from his thoughts, and it took him a moment to realize he must have been day dreaming for quite some time for the curly haired duo to leave him there.
"Wait," he shouted, recollecting himself and running off down the path towards them, coming to a halt just ahead of them. "Please, just wait," he practically begged, holding his arm out to signal for them to stop.
Jake peaked out through his head of curls that covered his eyes, as Harry continued to stare off into the distance, as he had been for the last couple of minutes.
"Please..." Louis' asked again, with a desperate tone underlining his voice, afraid that they'd walk off, and leave him standing here alone again, unable to move, "just talk..."
Harry's face suddenly tensed up, and Louis' instantly knew that he shouldn't have asked him to talk. It wasn't fair on him, and he'd known it. So, as Harry went to open his mouth to retaliate to the young teachers naive comment, Louis' could only hold his palm over his mouth, and recorrect himself.
"No, no, don't listen to that sorry. Here, I'll speak," he said, unsure on where it was going, but saying something rather than nothing was always a good sign. Since Harry's facial expression softened under his hand, Louis' stood back again, frantically trying to find something to stay to keep the teenager from walking away.
"I'm sorry..." he mumbled, knowing it sounded petty, but maybe it was what he needed to hear. Maybe Louis had to say it, and things would be better. No, that wasn't going to happen, but he could feel the raw emotion showing through him and hoped Harry caught onto just how bad he felt for what was going on.
"I can't do this now," Harry sighed, quickly grabbing Jake's hand and hurriedly walked down to the front gate with him, leaving Louis' behind just as confused as before.
Louis walked into the flat, slamming the door shut behind him, walking straight to the couch and collapsing into it, finding it calming in a way.
"Good day?" asked an overly cheerful voice walking into the room from behind him, sarcasm dripping obviously through his lips.
As his flatmate came and sat on top of his legs, Louis didn't even retaliate, he didn't even flinch, which gave his roommate a reason to worry.
"Something's obviously wrong then," he sighed, trying to pry as much information from the tired, weary looking man as possible.
"You have no idea Li..." Louis groaned, throwing his face into his hands, and clasping them tight, trying to block out the world so he could forget everything. Go back a day and have none of this happen.
Liam sat up straight at his friend's actions, instantly concerned for his welfare. It wasn't often Louis dealt with drama, let alone flaunts his pain to the world, so either Louis' had completely given up hope, or he was in desperate need for consultation. Liam hoped for the latter.
"Spill," he said, rubbing his hand down Louis' thigh soothingly, as he felt the hurting man relax under his touch. This brought some ease to Liam, as Louis' was always better at explaining things when he was awake, and not under immense amount of pressure or stress.
"I wouldn't even know where to begin," Louis answered sadly, his emotions about the current situation showing for the first time since the incident at the school, and quite frankly, he wasn't sure if he could hold everything in without seeming like a complete fool.
Liam couldn't laugh at his best friend, instead he only sighed, squeezing his leg a bit harder consolingly.
"The beginning?" Liam questioned, knowing it was an obvious answer, but it seemed to get the bowl moving, and Louis began to spill his heart out of Liam. Shockingly, Louis didn't hold back anything about the previous night, and went right into the details.
Some of the night was still a blur however, like some of the topics they'd discussed, but all Louis knew for sure, was the fact that they'd shared a bond so close, that it had at the time felt like nothing could replace it.
Harry was unsure about his sexuality, it was obvious from the start, and although Louis had come to terms with the fact that he was gay a long time ago, he didn't expect anyone else to have, especially since Harry was only just eighteen. So knowing that Harry quite probably didn't think of Louis as an attractive person, or as a potential someone he could date, Louis didn't bother to flirt with him, instead he just made a friend out of him.
As the night went on some obviously flirtation between the two became apparent, even if it hadn't been intentional, since it was the alcohol speaking, at least at first. Louis began feeling something in the pit of his stomach that was different than he'd ever felt before. Whenever he caught Harry's eyes lingering on him for a moment too long, his stomach flipped, and he wasn't sure why. No, of course he did, he was falling for Harry. A guy who he'd just met, and was unquestionably not going to stand a chance with.
He'd given up hope early on, but as the beers kept rolling, and the two boys became more and more rowdy, the atmosphere between them began to change. The music was blaring and they were dancing in the middle of the dance floor, not seriously, just mucking around grinding up against each other in their drunken state. People were starring, Louis could feel their eyes burning into the back of his head, but he didn't take notice, instead he just pressed himself further into Harry and continued drinking from his stubby in his hand.
After hours of talking together, bearing their hearts for each other, it was four in the morning, and Louis knew it was time to call it a night, especially since he was meant to be beginning his new job in the morning.
Louis said goodbye, and began to turn and walk off, when he felt Harry's hand tug him back, and his lips embrace his in a soft, delicate moment. Louis felt his heart jump, and his stomach was doing summersaults. It wasn't unusual for him to kiss a guy, but something about Harry was different from anything he'd felt before, and he was enjoying himself too consider it a drunken mistake.
But as quick as it came, it was gone, and Harry was waving goodbye, stumbling up the path, out of sight.
The next days passed as Louis had presumed they would, waking up at a reasonable hour, going to school, teaching, coming home and sleeping. He couldn't bring himself to leave the house, let alone attempt to make fix of the situation with Harry. He'd truly felt something wonderful between them, but after seeing the look of hurt plastered across Harry's face when he'd seen him at the school, he couldn't bare face him. Ideas ran around his head of what he would say if he actually saw Harry, but none of them sounded right, and they made him see like more of an idiot.
It wasn't possible to see Harry anyways, as him and Jake hadn't made another appearance at the school since his first day. Having no contact details to see them, Louis found himself realizing that even if he wanted to fix things, he didn't stand a chance. The friendship that could have been something between the two was nothing, and Louis found himself heartbroken over something that never was anything.
"Alright everyone, free time until lunch alright?" Louis said with a chipper tone through his voice, trying to hide the fact that he couldn't be bothered teaching them right this second, and giving them time to relax and muck around would be the easiest.
"Can we play with the board games Mr. Tomlinson?" a brunette headed girl asked from the front table, clearly excited to go and spend her time with the scrabble board again. She was a bright student, probably the brightest in the class, and of course Louis wasn't going to prevent her from broadening her education.
"Of course, I'm just going outside to get a coffee," he let the class know, "so I'll be back in about five or so."
He left the room exhausted, basically unable to keep his eyes open. It was Friday, his fifth day working here and it was quite possibly the most tiring week he'd ever endured. With not only the constant feeling of knowing you're in charge of a class of eight year olds and are responsible for every action they take part in, but he still had the constant strain of what had happened with harry wrapped around his mind, and more importantly Jake. Why hadn't Jake returned to school after Monday? You'd think, he would come back, but he hadn't, and this confused Louis more than anything.
His train of thought was interrupted as he collided with someone passing him in the corridor. He'd had his head down, focusing his eyes onto the pattered floor, not paying attention to his surroundings as most people would be in their classrooms, so the shock of running into someone startled him and he jumped a bit.
"Mr. Tomlinson," an older looking man spoke, who Louis recognized as the assistant principle, who he'd briefly met on his first day here, "I was just coming to look for you."
"You were?" Louis asked a bit shocked, unsure on why he was needed. He hadn't done anything wrong had he? Was he in trouble? No, it was different when you were a teacher. You didn't get sent to the principal's office like you were a bad person, you were spoken to by the board if you were going to lose your job, and that comforted Louis a bit.
"We've got someone here to see you, regarding a Jake Styles?"
Louis' head shot up more prominent, and as he looked further down the hall towards the hall, and saw none other than Harry sitting in the chair waiting outside, playing with his fingers, he felt his chest pound, and heart race.
He was beckoned to follow him down the hallway, and without a doubt he followed, completely unsure of what to expect.
