This story does skip a little through it all but you'll know how much by because I'll tell you.
:D
It was the day Angel turned three weeks old and Olivia had just finished work and had gone straight to the NICU to be with the baby she now comfortably called her own.
"Hi Olivia." Nurse Katrina smiled coming into the room soon followed by Doctor Brianna, Angel's main doctor.
"Hi Katrina, Hi Brianna." Olivia smiled, she'd been on first name terms with everyone working in the NICU since the end of the first week.
"I'm here because we have some good news." Doctor Brianna smiled just as Elliot walked in, he'd left the precinct after Olivia and as he had been every time he visited he had is digital camera in his hand, he'd taken a picture of Angel every day since her third day and Olivia had received copies from the hospital from day one and two which they had taken not expecting Angel to live.
"Good news?" She asked not wanting to get her hopes up.
"She's reached her goal weight of two pounds and nine ounces." Doctor Brianna smiled.
"That's two days earlier than planned." Olivia replied, she'd been keeping notes about Angel's progress and had been writing down everything the Doctors and Nurses had been telling her.
"Yes it is, now does Mommy want to have her first cuddle with baby Angel?" Doctor Brianna asked.
Olivia's mouth fell open as her face glowed.
"Of course." Olivia nodded.
"Ok sit down and I'll pass her too you, Katrina will have to stand beside you to hold the ventilator pipe so it doesn't get caught in anything." Doctor Brianna explained.
Olivia just nodded, her heart hammered inside her chest, with excitement and fear all rolled into one as she was getting ready to hold Angel for the first time.
"Ok here we go." Doctor Brianna smiled gently as she slowly passed Angel into Olivia's waiting arms.
"Hey baby, hey Angel." Olivia smiled blinking back the tears as Elliot snapped pictures. "Wow I can't believe we've gotten this far."
"She's doing better than I expected Olivia, don't get your hopes up because with premmie's anything can happen but she's a fighter and a very healthy little girl, if we don't get any complications and she continues to hit her mile stones I don't see why she won't grow into a very healthy little girl." Doctor Brianna smiled.
"Olivia why don't you look at me and smile so I can have a picture of you smiling?" Elliot asked.
Trying not to laugh she looked at Elliot the smile natural as she was beaming with joy as Elliot snapped the photo he knew Cragen wanted for his desk.
"I don't want to put her down." Olivia whispered as a tear rolled down her cheek.
"You can have another five minutes Olivia, there's no rush, she's holding her own body temperature well now." Doctor Brianna replied.
Olivia gently placed her finger by Angel's hand and somehow Angel found it and grasped onto it. Elliot snapped a picture while Doctor Brianna and Nurse Katrina's mouths fell open.
"I didn't expect that." Doctor Brianna smiled. "I'd seen she'd been trying to grasp, Olivia I think she's recognising your touch."
"How?" Olivia asked gently not understanding what she meant.
"You've been stroking her while she's in the incubator, I think she recognised your finger." Doctor Brianna explained as Olivia's thumb brushed along Angel's knuckles.
"This is the best day ever." Olivia whispered as more happy tears rolled down her cheeks.
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The next morning Olivia was sat at her desk typing up the fives on her latest case. She didn't hear Elliot come up behind her until he placed a pink wrapped gift on her desk.
"Elliot?" She asked but he didn't look back at her as he carried a blue gift wrapped parcel into the Captain's office.
"I believed you were waiting for one of these." Elliot explained as he handed the gift over.
Cragen looked up at Elliot and frowned.
"It's not my birthday Elliot." Cragen replied.
"I know but I wrapped Liv's also." Elliot explained as Cragen began to open the gift.
He looked up at Elliot his eyes shining with tears.
"When?" Cragen asked.
"Yesterday, I got them printed first thing this morning." Elliot explained.
Cragen looked back down at the picture of the smiling detective holding the tiny baby girl in her arms in a silver frame.
"You didn't have to get it framed." Cragen replied knowing that the frame hadn't come cheap.
"I wanted too." Elliot explained before going out to the bullpen where Olivia rushed over to him and threw her arms around him.
"Thank you." She smiled before dropping a kiss on his cheek.
"You're welcome Olivia." He smiled giving her a kiss back.
Munch and Fin wondered what was going on and came over to be nosey.
Fin picked up the photo frame and showed the picture to Munch, it was of Olivia looking down at a very tiny bundle in her arms which held Angel.
"You held her?" Fin asked knowing how much Olivia had been waiting for that moment.
"Yeah, yesterday for the first time. Oh Fin it was amazing, she's so small and then she grasped my finger and ... She's just perfect."
"I can tell." Fin replied handing the frame back to her so it could join the other five on her desk with pictures of Angel's developmental stages that they'd caught on camera.
"So is she out of the woods?" Munch asked not understanding how sick Angel really was.
"No Munch, she won't be for a while but she's getting there." Olivia replied honestly. "We just have to keep praying."
Olivia had never been religious but since Elliot's words that she shouldn't play God had been what made her decision to fight for Angel she'd been sneaking off to Church without telling anyone just for some time alone to think and to pray for her daughter.
As her cell phone rang and she saw the caller ID she knew her face had turned a sickly shade of white that had Elliot's full attention, he knew who was calling her.
"Benson." She answered trying to sound calm.
Olivia, its Doctor Brianna I have some news for you, good news for you.
Olivia let out a breath that had hitched in her throat.
"Go on." Olivia replied.
We've been running tests on Angel's lungs all morning and we want to transfer her from the ventilator which has been doing all her breathing for her to a different ventilator which will only breathe for her when she doesn't breathe herself.
"Ok?" Olivia replied unsure what was going on.
We were wondering if you wanted to be here when the procedure is done, it's not necessary but once the machine is hooked up she'll breathe on her own near enough for the first time.
"Is there any risk with the procedure?" Olivia asked knowing she had to stop rushing off every time the hospital called.
No, if it doesn't work we'll hook Angel straight back to the ventilator to breath for her.
"Ok can you call me? I'm at work so I don't want to leave if it isn't an emergency, just call me and let me know how it goes please." Olivia replied even though she badly wanted to go down and sit in the waiting room waiting for news.
I will do Olivia, I'll call you when we're done.
"Thank you." Olivia replied before hanging up.
"What is it?" Elliot asked seeing Olivia smiling.
"They're moving Angel onto a machine that will only breathe for her when she isn't breathing for herself. Not like the ventilator which has been doing all the breathing for her." Olivia explained smiling, she knew this was another mile stone and she couldn't help but be hopeful and proud of her little Angel.
"That's brilliant Liv." Elliot smiled knowing by Olivia's face alone that she was happy.
"I know, I can't believe that this is another step closer to getting her home El." She smiled.
"It is Liv, have they given you an expected time phrase to when you'll be able to take her home?"
"Elliot, I've barely been there alone you've always been with me either before or after so if I had any idea when she was allowed home do you really think I wouldn't tell you?" She asked.
"No sorry you're right." He laughed, he'd been practically playing daddy to Angel, he'd bonded with her in the way he did his own children and he'd even found himself getting even closer (if that was even possible) to Olivia while they bonded over Angel.
"I was actually thinking Elliot, I need to go shopping for Angel and I was wondering ... well I was wondering if you'd mind coming with me." She asked, not only because he was her best friend and had been there for her every step with Angel but because he was already a father and knew what Angel would need better than her.
"Sure. If we don't catch a case how about we go at lunch?" He smiled.
"Great, there's a boutique on West 78th Street that makes clothes for tiny premature babies, so we can see if there's anything we can get for her there." She smiled.
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Four hours later Olivia and Elliot were arriving the hospital after their shopping trip. Olivia had a bag full of clothing for Angel and she couldn't help but sit by the incubator and fold the tiny pieces of clothing up and place them in the little cabinet.
"Olivia, how are you?" Doctor Brianna smiled coming into the room.
"Good, I've just being doing some shopping." Olivia explained nodding her head towards the clothes.
"Do you want to put something on her?" Brianna asked.
"I hadn't even thought about it really, can I have something put on her?" Olivia asked holding small pink trousers.
"Yeah, I'll help you dress her she won't be able to wear one pieces with the wires for some time but we can put a two piece on her." She smiled coming over to Olivia.
Elliot snapped away with his camera as Olivia and Doctor Brianna slowly and carefully dressed Angel in pink pyjamas. Doctor Brianna then placed Angel in Olivia's arms and arranged the wires so she wouldn't get caught in them.
"Elliot, press this buzzer and I'll come and put her back in the crib." Doctor Brianna smiled before leaving them alone.
"She looks much healthier just being clothed." Olivia smiled as gently bounced Angel in her arms.
"Yeah she does, she looks well Liv." Elliot smiled kneeling down beside her.
"Knowing that she's going to be in here for months hopefully growing and getting healthier, it's all worth it, she's just so beautiful." Olivia smiled as she gently stroked her thumb across Angel's knuckles. "I can't wait to be able to feed her, change her and hear her cry."
The tears built in Olivia's eyes and Elliot couldn't tell she was crying till she sniffed.
"Hey Liv." He whispered wrapping an arm around her shoulder.
"I'm sorry." She sniffed.
"What's wrong Olivia?" He asked gently.
"I'm scared Elliot." She admitted. "Scared that something will happen that she'll get sicker. Scared that Gladys will come back and take her from me, I'm petrified El."
"Hey." He whispered pressing his forehead to her temple. "Angel, is your little girl, you're going to stay by her side and she's going to get better and then you're going to bring her up and she's going to have a Mommy who loves her more than life itself." Elliot told her.
"Doesn't stop the fear El. The chances are Gladys will come back at some point and take her away." Olivia whispered as the tears continued to fall.
"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it Liv, for now, you need to hold it together for Angel." Elliot whispered stroking Angel's tiny arm.
"Oh my goodness Elliot, your finger is thicker than her arm." Olivia didn't know whether to laugh or cry at that.
"Yeah, but it won't be for long, she's going to grow big and strong." He whispered gently.
"I hope so." Olivia smiled.
