Romantism

Whee.

TWO

Duped

"Kaeru! How can you turn such a thing in? You have marvelous writing skills! Why don't you use them?" I looked up from my spot on the desk and focused one eye onto the ranting teacher.

Someone snorted in laughter. "Ha, teacher! You already know that Jiraiya's too stupid to put any skills to use!" A random classmate taunted. I never did bother to figure out their names. I just call them as I see them, which is usually "Asshole" or "Creep".

"Lady, I did use my writing skills. You read the paper, you could tell." I answered for myself. The teacher's face reddened as she wielded the sheet paper that contained my personal opinion, and she pointed her long finger at my face.

"Kaeru, this is not what you are capable of! You used vulgar words and generalizing statements to get your point across, and you failed at doing that as well!" she hissed. I think that's when I got pissed, and stood up in front of her, using my height to level my reply.

I huffed. "Give me a break! You said that we had to write a paper on our favorite memory, and I gave you that! What more do you want? Vivid verbs? Onomatopoeia? Alliteration?" I retorted. She narrowed her eyes as she set the paper back on my desk.

"If it could show that you had at least a little talent, then yes. I usually don't say this word, but your 'memory' is a piece of crap." The teacher said coldly. That was kinda rude, lady.

Maybe I shouldn't have slammed the desk so hard, and then I wouldn't be back to the one place I've become awfully accustomed to. I'm too ruggedly manly for my own good, man.

"Jiraiya, what did you do this time?" The principal, Sandiame Sarutobi, asked me with bored eyes as he played Solitaire on his computer. Why does he never seem to be doing real principal/whatever work?

"I wrote a crappy paper, and the teacher mocked my opinion. So I got pissed, what did you expect?" I answered, already reaching for my usual handheld game that was kept on his desk. A hand smacked mine away before I could touch it.

"Mario…" I whined. Sarutobi rolled his eyes and smiled at me.

"Jiraiya, I don't need you setting a bad example for the new student." he said slyly. I flinched, new student? That was a decidedly random event at this school.

"I'm behind you, dumbass." A cool voice said, in such a smooth way that it sounded vaguely like a hiss. I turned around and first saw the golden eyes, slit golden eyes.

"M-my memory!" I stuttered out of reaction. Well, that was not creepy at all Jiraiya, now how about you stalk him to follow that up? Jesus Christ, do I even know what comes out my mouth anymore?

The teenager looked me over, repeatedly. I kind of felt like I was on display, and he looked me in the eyes. It was kind of complicated, because I was taller than him by an inch or two.

"I have never met you before in my life," he stated. I frowned. That was impossible! Well, not impossible, just improbable.

"How could you not remember me?" I asked indignantly.

He rolled his unique eyes. "I feel that it would be necessary for me to remember a minor with pre-mature white hair and vertical red marks across the cheeks," he responded.

Okay, that was just rude.

I almost snarled before hearing a chuckling sound in the air.

"You think this is funny?!" I growled at Sarutobi, who unsuccessfully attempted to stop laughing. He waved his hand at me and snorted into his other arm.

"No no, I'm good. Go on, please." Sarutobi claimed, grinning. I rolled my eyes and stepped away from the black-haired teen. Said teenager looked at Sarutobi pointedly and he shut up at once.

Why didn't he do that when I asked? That's pretty unfair, Law of Equivalent Exchange.

"As you may know Jiraiya, I can not let this go unpunished. So, you are to escort your acquaintance here to all of his classes. I don't really care how, but do it." Sarutobi commanded.

I raised an eyebrow in question. "Or?" I asked, knowing that there was always an alternative in these kinds of things.

"Or, three-day-suspension. Choose wisely." Sarutobi said.

I winced. "Ouch, low blow. Alright, what's your class?" I asked with a fake cheer towards the black-haired teen.

"Honors Calculus," he answered in that indistinct hiss. I shuddered as I walked him out the principal's office. I don't think I'll be getting used to that anytime soon.

We walked in silence for quite a while, because the Honors hall was on the third floor of the school, as the principal's office was on the first. Silence and I aren't very good friends. He never answers the phone when I fucking call him, the jerk.

"So, can I ask you a question?" I asked. He flit his eyes in my direction for a second.

"You just did," he responded.

I twitched, and exhaled deeply. "What's your name?" I asked, hoping to get an answer that made sense this time. His lips twitched as he obviously considered telling me. I didn't understand the hesitation a bit. Was he a criminal or a sexual pervert or something?

"Orochimaru Manda," he finally said. I grinned and held my hand to my head in a saluting motion.

"Jiraiya Kaeru, at your service," I greeted. I don't think he was amused at my introduction.

He rolled his golden, slit eyes. "Well then dumbass, would you mind getting me to my class then?" he snapped. My smile automatically dropped.

I know I heard Sarutobi laughing, I'm not crazy.

"Eat your heart out, Satan. Looks like someone else is PMSing too…" I commented as I walked past him to the next set of stairs. Orochimaru grabbed my polo-shirt's collar and tugged it hard, hard enough for me to face him.

"I seriously don't appreciate it when people call me a female," he hissed, really hissed this time. Gee man, if you don't like being a woman, then maybe you should, I dunno, start acting like a fucking man?

I easily removed his hand from my wrinkled shirt as I glared.

"And I seriously don't like it when people call me a dumbass, so we're equal." I snarled back ("By the way, are you an A-cup or what?" is what I really wanted to add). He narrowed his eyes as a nasty sneer formed on his lips.

"We will never be equal. You don't know me," he retorted coldly.

"And you don't know me. So we're still equal." I replied, making him clench his fist in frustration. Ha.

Jiraiya: 2

Orochimaru: 1

"Not everyone's life is as carefree as yours is," he finally responded. This time, it was my turn to be frustrated. I pointed at my cheeks and watched as he looked at them.

"Do you seriously think that this is a simple birthmark? You look smart, so you can put the pieces together." I snarled at him.

Actually, now that I think about it, it really is a simple birthmark. Huh, that's odd.

Orochimaru almost looked taken back before smirking in pleasure. On our first meeting (well, kind of) he just got me to answer a question that I normally wouldn't have answered, and he didn't even vocally ask!

I felt so duped.

"Y'know what? Your class is in this hall, three doors down." I snapped, stomping away angrily. His smirk grew as he walked down the hall waving in a small manner.

This relationship was already off to a bad start, damn it.

END TWO

Jiraiya, Orochimaru, and Tsunade are all sixteen (juniors).

(The definitions: Kaeru means toad or frog. Mando is Oro's anaconda snake thingy.)