Finding myself
Today was Saturday morning. Like always I would get up at 6:45 jump in the shower and put on baggy gray sweatpants, a white V-neck short sleeve shirt, and my Nike high-tops. I would put my hair in a bun grab my black and pink gym bag and go to dance class. I went to the refrigerator grabbed a bottle of water and got my keys off the hook and closed the door lightly.
I jumped in my car and drove to my destination. It was about 7:50 the time I would always get there. I parked my car in the back of the lanes and got out and went inside the building. First we would all stretch. Then once the Zach came in we would start to dance, like we were free. We could do anything. Such as ballet, jazz, hip pop which was my favorite and so much more. About an hour had passed and the teacher had brought in a new person.
"Hello everyone my name is Markus Kane and this women beside me is Katy I am the head director of ballet and she is my partner in this business."
"Markus Kane and Katy are one of my closest friends." Zach said.
"Aw thank you Zach so as you all heard my name is Katy I don't really think you need to know my last name but Markus will be explaining what we want you to do on Wednesday."
"Thank you for the introductory Zach. I have watched all of you dance in your own way and it is amazing. But with dancing you need to step outside yourself. You need to let all of your emotions out into that one thing. So now on to the piece, I want you all to find a person that is a not a dancer and I want you to study them. What makes them tick? Then I want you reinterpret as that person when you dance."
"That should be fun right guys." Zach said with a huge smile on his face, while Markus and Katy were leaving.
"Oh and it can be any type of dance movement you want hip-pop, jazz, ballet and so on." Katy said while walking backwards and having Markus close the door behind her.
"You can you use this space when I am not here. Just make sure you tell me first and you lock up. You are all dismissed now." While everyone was grabbing there bags I went up to Zach.
"Zach."
"Hi, Loren what can I do for you?
"I wanted to use the space."
"Okay, uh here is the key and just don't forget to lock up when you are finished and return it on Wednesday."
"Don't you need the key?" I said with a scrunch up face
"I have a spare."
"Oh okay." I went to grab my bag. "Bye Zach." I turned around to face him and he waved and I left.
Once I got out of the car I made sure I had my sunglass on top of my head and my phone and cash in my hands. I opened the door to the café but only to have it open for me. I said "thank you" to the man and walked in. Everyone knew my name since I have been working here since Monday. I went in line and I was up next.
"Hey Loren, what can I get you." Jessica said.
"Just a Cinnamon Dolce Crème Frappuccino please."
"Coming right up." I gave her the change and went to sit down at one of the tables while I waited. I sat for a few minutes and when Jessica called my name I went up and got my drink and was about to leave when I saw someone open the door.
"Hey too good for school, didn't know you would drop by."
"Hey new girl."
"You know I'm not new anymore right."
"Yeah I know but when you stop calling me 'too good for school' I will stop calling you 'new girl.'" I just chuckled.
"So what are you doing here?"
"Didn't know I needed a reason to be here?"
"Ha-ha very funny but really, what are you doing here?"
"I jog every afternoon and I come here to get something to drink."
"Oh cool."
"So…"
"Bye." And I left out of the café on my way to my car when he called for me.
"Wait."
"Yes?" I turned back around.
"What are you doing right now?"
"Going home, what are you doing right now?"
"Seeing if you would stay with me, for a cup of coffee."
"I already have my drink but thanks for asking." I lifted up my drink to show him I had it in my hands.
"Come on one drink and you can go back home and do whatever you want."
"I already do whatever I want."
"Will you stop with the remarks I am trying to ask you on a simple yet casual date."
"Oh I know what you are doing but my answer is going to be no."
"Why not?"
"Look I'm not going to have this conversation in the parking lot."
"Okay then." He can up to me, let's sit down then.
"I'm sorry."
"Let's sit down on the sidewalk."
"No I am not going to do that."
"Then fine give me an answer and then I will let you be you and me be me."
"You're really starting to be a pain."
"Then just answer the question."
"Okay fine." I said in a little shout. "I won't go out with you for three reasons. One: You seem like a player to me. Two: You think that every girl can fall for you and then you just go and dump them for no reason without an explanation. It's just priceless. Three: You seem like the guy that doesn't get turned down, at all, so let me be the first one to do so."
"You really needed to have three reasons to tell me that." He said in a joking manner. I just rolled me eyes and walked back to my car. I heard him jog in place to stop me.
"Wait, wait, and wait."
"What?"
"I'm sorry okay."
"There's no need to apologize you didn't do anything."
"I know I just feel need to do so."
"I'm leaving now." I unlocked my car and got in.
"Wait a second."
"What now?" I said getting a little annoyed.
"What about I prove to you that I am not a player."
"I would like to see you try."
"Is that a yes?" He said with one eyebrow up and looking at me sideways with his eyes low a little bit.
"You're really creeping me out with that face and don't you have some type of run you should be finishing."
"Well good and no I don't until you answer my question."
"The answer is a maybe."
"So not a no or yes."
"Oh my god too good for school knows what maybe means, I am shocked." I said with my eyes wide and with my mouth open.
"You're hilarious."
"I try, now will you back up from my car before your toe gets underneath my tire?" He backed away from the car and walked back to the café.
I parked into the driveway. Grabbed my belongs and walked into the house, with my father pacing back and forth. I dropped my bag at the side of the door and putted my car keys on the hook and crossed my arms knowing where this would lead.
"Where have you been?"
"Outside, you know it is I a really nice day out you should go and get some fresh air."
"Don't get smart with me Loren, now answer the question."
"Why do you care where I was it is not like you care any other day."
"That is not true."
"Really?" I said with a shock face.
"Yes."
"When have you ever asked how school was or how have my grades been?" He just looked me shocked that I had an answer to my question. "Right you haven't." I said while grabbing my bag and walking up the steps.
I grabbed my diary from the back of my bed and started writing.
Dear Diary,
My dad thanks that he does a good job with taking care of me. He doesn't. My mom took care of me because my dad would not come on for days and when she got into a coma I started to take care of myself not the other way around. He has not been to one of my school activities when I was little. This is why I do not let him in or anyone for that matter because I don't trust them. Maybe it is me I don't know but I know one thing for sure. The subject for my dancing will be about my dad. I will let all of this anger that he has and put into dancing.
I grabbed my purse and went to the studio. I started to work on my piece with the music loud. When I stopped dancing I heard someone clapping. I turned around with my fist ready thanking that it was someone trying to get me.
"It's just me." She said with her hands up in defense.
"Sorry I thought you were someone else."
"It's okay I should have had, snuck up on you."
"It's okay." Walking over to my bag to grab to a water bottle.
"So what is your piece about?" Katy said.
I took a deep breath before I said my answer. "Just some guy, nothing that important."
"Your dancing had a lot of power in it just to be some guy."
"Yeah well…" I said.
"Try to see this guy's point of view because your dancing has anger in it and it will over power you when you dance it out on Wednesday."
"Okay."
Monday:
Nothing that important happened today. It was the same old same old. I woke up got dress did my make-up and left. After I finished my shift at the café I came home to not an empty house. So I cooked myself a grilled cheese. I worked on some homework. Wrote in my diary then got ready for bed.
Tuesday:
Tuesday was the same thing I did on Monday. I did a few things different though. Once I came from work I wrote a little bit of music. I didn't feel inspired I just felt like whatever I wrote it would come and I just let my mind and hands take over. After that I wrote in my diary and then went to bed.
Wednesday:
It was finally the day that I would show off my piece. The only thing was I didn't want to show off how angry I was at my dad. But that it is a story to tell at the end. I woke up took a shower. I got dress into a dark blue Hollister old town romper. I paired it with some white converses and a long silver heart necklace and stud earrings. I left out the house on time and went to school.
Once three of my classes where over I went to lunch to have Melissa tell me to sit next to her. Believe me I would have had said "no" but that girl had a tight grip on my arm. Eddie was still trying to show me he wasn't a player. But when Chloe came up to him and after her three more came up. I knew that he was a player.
He had finally gotten free from all the girls he came up to me and said. "So will you now go out with me?"
"I still haven't changed my mind and from the looks of out those girls over there are jealous of me talking to you, so I would just go back to them." He walked away cursing to himself asking "Why in the hell would so many girls want to be with him."
"When did he ask you out?" Melissa said.
"Saturday."
"And you said 'no.'"
"Yes I did."
"Why, he is hot."
"Because he is a player and I don't date players and I am pretty sure he has never gotten turned down before."
"Fare enough answer."
Class was officially over. I had Eddie stop me again but I had to be somewhere to go so I didn't stick around to listen. I went home got dressed into my dancing outfit and went off to class. We had to be there at 8 so I had enough time to do a little bit of homework and still write in my diary because I knew I would be too exhausted to write anyway. (The diary will be during the dancing)
I left home and went to dancing class. I had three minutes to get there because I lost track of time. I had finally reached my destination and ran into the door.
"Great for you to show up Loren, why don't you go first then?" Zach said. I sat my bag down and went to the middle of the room.
Dear Diary,
Angry. This means you are showing a great amount of feeling. I stated that topic because I was tired of being angry and hurt all the time over someone that will never see it because I won't let him in. That him I am talking about his my dad. If I want to talk to him we lead to an argument and I am tired. I have been blaming my dad for all of my problems but the truth is it isn't him. It is me. This is why I didn't do my piece on my dad or why I didn't say my dad's name to Katy because I wasn't sure and I was scared. I am afraid to admit that it will always be me not anyone else. So I did my piece on me. To show that I am sacred of this person that I am becoming and I don't like it but I have to have it because that is how I will show that I am not scared that I am a powerful woman to come. That no one and I mean no one can hurt me and they won't hurt me.
Finished… there will be more to come. In the next chapter it will be on Eddie's P.O.V and it will have Katy and Max. Do you guys like how I added Katy to dancing thing? I didn't just want her to be singer I wanted her to be a partner of a business. So I hoped you like that. Before I get any hate I like how Loren plays hard to get, in almost all of my stories she does play hard to get. But do not worry she will give into Eddie Duran's charm… we all do. Of course let me know what you guys think in the review box. If you want to see something's happen let me know in my PM my Inbox if you don't want anyone to still your ideas. And I will try to put them in if I don't I will say "thank and I will try." Before I stop talking if any has spotted my quote from Dance Academy let me also has the same outfit and hair but has you can see her hair is a little shorter. The dance is from Dance Academy by Kat, on season 3 episode 3 and if you don't want to see the entire thing go to 23:00 on YouTube and you will just have to wait a little while and then Kat comes through the door and starts to talk. That's when it begins. Also the song goes to Loren's dance as well. The song is called Thinking about you By: Big Scary. Now I am done my rant.
Until next time,
Nlxoxo
