Chapter 2 - Fighting the memories
Kirsty felt ashamed. She couldn't quite believe she'd opened up like that, with so little prompting. It couldn't happen again - she couldn't be dissolving into tears when anyone so much as offered her their condolences! Come on, she told herself strictly, what happened with Warren is in the past now. It's time to start thinking about the future.
"Kirsty, you're needed in Resus," Tess called, interrupting the nurse's thoughts.
"On my way," she replied, and brushing a stray curl back from her face, Kirsty went straight in.
"Over here Kirsty, this is Danny, 28 year old male, collapsed at work with breathing difficulties, his airway is obstructed, we need to intubate," Lenny quickly filled her in as she got to work.
When Danny was finally stable and ready to be moved to ICU, Lenny looked up at Kirsty, as if seeing her properly for the first time.
"Hey, didn't realise you were back today. Sorry 'bout your husband, must be tough at the moment. Big Mac said something about the police being involved…"
"Yeah, just routine, you know. Don't worry, they're not about to drag me away!" Kirsty joked, and turned to leave Resus, just as another patient was brought through the doors, and her stomach jolted as she heard familiar words.
"This is Owen, suspected DVT caused by sudden movement after a long stay in hospital…"
Kirsty froze, unable to look. Terrified that if she did she would see Warren's piercing blue eyes, boring into her. The case mirrored his exactly. She shook her head. No, it wasn't him, he was dead, this was someone else, another man. Not Warren.
Her breathing became quicker and her feet moved as if of their own accord, taking her out of Resus and into the empty staff room, where she sat shaking on one of the chairs. She had played the scene through so many times in her head - Warren being brought into Resus, her colleagues trying valiantly to save his life, Warren's mother looking on. It was all her fault. If she hadn't left him in that bathroom, he might still be alive. He'd begged her to stay, but she had turned her back. What kind of person did that make her?
She lifted her head and took a deep breath, attempting to calm herself. Professional, she told herself, whatever happens today, you must be professional. Don't let anything get to you.
"Kirsty?"
It was Adam.
