Bleh. Sucky chapter. Sorry. :x I don't own Degrassi. Review? Maybe? Thanks! I don't know if I'll keep going with this, still, but you're feedback will help me decide.
Eli ripped away from me quickly. "You didn't see anything." he growled lowly. The video game was long forgotten.
"Eli…" I start, tears starting to well in my eyes.
"No, no, no. Clare, you didn't see anything. It's not what you think." he tells me, eyes wild; running a hand through his dark hair.
"Then what is it?" I challenge, trying my best to make my petite figure seem intimidating.
"I…I was chopping carrots for Cece. Miscalculated where the freaking' thing was. That's all." He tells me, throwing his hands up. He's shaking. There are a few reasons why this couldn't be true. First, because there is no way in heck anyone could ever miss chopping carrots so badly. Secondly, because there were multiple, horizontal, straight cuts. It just didn't add up. "You don't believe me." he spoke softly, mostly to himself.
"I want to," I tell him softly, "I want to believe that you're okay, and Adam and I are doing an okay job at being your friends. Eli…I just…why would you do this to yourself?" I ask, searching his eyes desperately for an answer I know I won't find.
"I'm not doing anything." Eli insists, looking into my eyes. "Just…leave. I have stuff to do. I'll see you in school. You didn't see anything, Clare. Goodbye." He makes it completely evident I should leave. Against my better judgment, I do leave. I don't go home, though. I go to Adam's. He's as perplexed as I am once I tell him the story, but denies telling his mom, or my mom, or Cece.
"Clare…I know personally how bad this is. Okay, you need to get him to admit it first. I just…why would he do it? He knows how messed up it is, he knows how badly it messed me up! The puzzle pieces just don't fit together. Something happened, something big. I know there's something he's not telling us." Adam speaks quickly; sweat dripping down his forehead despite the cold Canada weather. We're outside at the Dot, sipping coffee and well, frankly, freaking out.
"Adam, this is serious. I'm just so scared. Should we go back to his house?" I was as frazzled as Adam was. I just couldn't wrap my head around it. "What could be so bad he needed to go to that?" Adam clears his throat and looks away, and suddenly I realize how stupid I was for saying that. "Adam…I didn't mean it like…" I stop talking, and reach my hands out to put mine over his. "You're strong, you got over it." I say, because it's the only thing I can right now.
"Yeah, I know. Thank you." Adam nods and sips some more of his hot drink. "And I'm scared to, this is serious. I guess all we can do is wait, though." I nod. That night, I go online. Look more into self-harm, and it all just makes me that more worried for Eli. I can't deny I have feelings for him; he's perfect. Or I thought he was. Obviously, something big is going on, or went on in his life. I'm determined to find out, though.
