"Scout's Magic Trick"

Scout was bored.

No, bored is when you finish doing something and can't figure out what to do next. Bored is when you wake up on Saturday morning and you just decide to watch cartoons all day. This was not bored. This was on the verge of death. At least that's what Scout thought. Here he was, on the second day of his long awaited ceasefire, just itching to move, and there was already nothing to do.

Well, not that there was nothing to do, but there was nothing Scout wanted to do. He could watch TV, but the only shows that were on were black and white soap operas. He could go do laps at the pool downstairs, but he did that yesterday. Soldier always stressed that he should be making the most of it, because Thunder Mountain was the only base with a pool and hot tub in it. Scout really liked swimming in the river just outside of Mountain Lab though. Well, he did, until Demoman told him that Tentaspies lived there, just waiting for someone to swim by so they could gobble them up.

Scout shuddered at the thought. He wasn't a freakin' wimp or anything, but he wouldn't be swimming in any natural body of water anytime soon.

The young Bostonian put his head on the table as he thought of things to do. He was so bored that he didn't even want to play with his baseball! He was sure he would die of boredom soon. Maybe Medic would have some pills to prevent that.

He rolled his head onto its side so his cheek was resting on the tabletop. He was just about to get up and go pester one of his teammates when he saw it sitting on the counter beside the stove.

Holy shit, it was the most beautiful thing in the whole goddamn world as far as Scout was concerned.

An empty water bottle.

The cure to his boredom.

Scout ran over to the kitchen counter and grabbed his newest occupation, eyeing it with wonder. What was he going to do with this thing? He had no idea, but he was sure as hell going to find out.

He started with just tossing it up in the air and catching it. He could've done this with his baseball, but the water bottle was so much lighter, so it floated a little as it came down. Scout found it sort of…fun. But he was determined to find a more creative way to amuse himself with his new toy.

He ran out of the kitchen and down the hall, trying to throw the bottle far enough in front of him so he could catch it as it came down. He ran past everyone's rooms and the infirmary all the while keeping his eyes focused on the object ahead of him.

Until he tripped and fell into the door at the end of the hall, slamming his face against the doorknob.

"AAAAAGH! FRICKEN JEEZ!" He screamed as he held his head in both hands.

"Scout? Is zhat you?" A familiar German voice sounded from behind the door.

"Uuuuh, doc?" The door opened fully, revealing Medic with a pile of files in his hand and a look of slight concern on his face. Scout noticed he wasn't wearing his usual lab coat and gloves, as they were on ceasefire, instead he sported a light beige sweater vest and dress shirt, complete with his blue tie. The young Bostonian thought about how he just wore his simple uniform all the time.

The doctor kneeled down to inspect Scout, putting the files on the floor gently taking the runner's hand away from his face to see the extent of the damage. "Vhat happened? All I heard vas a somezhing crashing into zhe door. Vell, zhen I heard you cursing, but anyvays."

Scout bit his lip a little, unsure of how to tell Medic that he was so bored he resorted to playing a simple game with an empty water bottle.

"Uh, well, I was…I was bored so I took da first thing dat I saw and played wid it." He answered quickly.

Medic took little notice of the boy's uneasiness, instead, choosing to focus on his fresh injury. "It looks like you're going to haff a black eye, come vith me und ve'll get some ice for it." He stood and helped Scout up, leading him back to the infirmary.

When they got there, Scout sat down in a chair beside a white table while Medic went to the mini fridge beside his supply cabinets, pulling out an ice pack. The runner was fiddling with an empty water bottle that was in his hands, and Medic stared at him for a minute.

"Vhy did you bring zhat vith you?" The doctor inquired.

"Because he's my freakin' buddy for da day, dat's why!" Scout snapped. Medic rolled his eyes and handed him the ice pack. The young man held the pack over his eye and rested his front teeth on the mouth of the water bottle, which was now standing upright on the table.

"I just haff to get zhose files I left behind, I'll be right back." The German told Scout. He left, but popped his head back in the door a few seconds later. "Don't touch anyzhing, bitte." The Bostonian just nodded and Medic left.

A few seconds later, Scout was bored again. He was just itching to touch something, but he didn't want to be chased around the base by an angry doctor with a bonesaw. He desperately needed to do something. He tapped his foot, patted his hand on the table, and he eventually started to breath in and out of the water bottle, causing it to shrink as he breathed in and grow as he breathed back out into the bottle. It made his head bob up and down with barely any effort from the boy.

Wait.

That was kind of fun. In, out, in, out, his head bobbed up and down as each breath made the bottle shrink and grow. It was one of the best things Scout had ever experienced. It was like magic! Holy crap, this was fun.

In, out.

Down, up.

Scout was having such a good time he didn't even notice Medic walk back in the room with an extremely bewildered expression on his face. Before he could say anything, the ecstatic boy was already explaining what was going on.

"Doc, c'mere! Look at dis awesome magic trick I just made up!" He shouted.

The doctor slowly made his way to the chair on the other side of the table while Scout demonstrated his trick. When he was done, Medic was biting his knuckle and smiling.

"Too awesome for words, eh? Yeah I'm pretty good, aren't I?" the Bostonian bragged.

"Erm…" the doctor cleared his throat, "Zhat is very amazing, Scout. You know who else vould be impressed by zhat trick?"

Scout leaned in closer.

"Spy. Spy vould love it."

The young man beamed. "Holy shit, you're right! I gotta find da spook!" He grabbed his magic bottle and ran out of the room, leaving Medic sitting at the table, trying and failing to hold back his laughter.

Scout ran through the halls, trying to find the sneaky man. He finally found Spy in the kitchen, sitting at their large dinner table and fiddling with his disguise kit. The runner plopped down in the seat beside him, grinning from ear to ear.

Spy gave him a questioning look. "What are you so 'appy about?"

"I'm gonna show you my new magic trick! So shut yer frog trap and listen." Scout pointed to the water bottle. "See dis? With dis, I can make my head move up and down all by its freakin' self, I'm not even shitting you. Watch."

Spy leaned in closer as Scout performed his trick, a small smile spreading wider with each breath the boy took.

When the trick was done, Spy was grinning and biting his lip. "Zhat was very…" A small laugh slipped out. Then another, and soon the spook was struggling to finish his sentence. "Intere–hahaha!" A snort. "Interesting! Hahahaha!"

Scout was very confused. His trick wasn't supposed to be funny, it was supposed to be awe-inspiring. He decided to do it again, just in case Spy didn't look at it right the first time.

At this point, Soldier walked in the room. He looked at the espionage expert who was struggling to breath through his own chortles, and then he saw the young Bostonian performing his 'trick'.

"SCOUT!" Soldier barked. The runner looked up at the man, a confused look on his face.

"It looks like you're SUCKING A DICK, SON!" The patriot yelled.

It didn't take long for Scout's expression to morph into one of utter horror. "W-WHAT?! OH MY GOD OH MY GOD! AAAUGH!" Tears flowed like waterfalls from his eyes, his injured eye puffing up more than it already was as he repeatedly screamed, "I'm not a cockfag!"

Hearing all the commotion, Engineer raced into the room. He saw Scout bawling, Spy rolling on the floor, laughing so hard that he struggled to breath, and Soldier standing there looking…scary.

The Texan decided that he was a very busy man at that point and began to walk away, but his heart of gold melted at the sound of the boy's horrified and devastated sobs. Sighing, he turned back into the kitchen, took Scout by the hand, and they walked back to the runner's room.

Engineer sat Scout down on his bed and gave him his favorite bat, which he bragged to the other men about because his older brother, his idol, had given it to him.

The Bostonian's cries faded into small whimpers and sniffles as he cuddled his bat and lay down on his bed, burying his face into his pillow. Engineer retrieved an extra blanket from his closet and gently placed it on Scout, who grabbed a fistful of the fabric and hugged it closer.

"Engie?" A small sound came from the boy's mouth. "It's not bedtime yet."

The Texan chuckled slightly. "No, no it's not. But I reckon you're due for a nap. You look a might tired, boy."

"Yeah…I guess you're right, hardhat…" A yawn. "You usually are."

Engineer didn't bother replying. Instead, he silently walked out of the room and closed the door, pausing for a moment to listen to Scout's soft snoring.