I sit down on the stairs, trying to catch my breath. Gale comes and sits down next to me. I sit there motionless as he starts to explain his absence. "I left because I felt guilty. It was my bomb that..I never meant for it to harm her. I never imagined Coin would use it to kill innocent children. I couldn't face you Katniss. I know no amount of apologies will make you forgive me..but I really am sorry. I loved her just as much as my siblings. I-I'm sorry." I look up to see his eyes reflecting the same pain and anguish that mine have permanently adapted. I stand up and walk to the kitchen. I fill a glass with cold water and bring it back to him. "Here. " I say, pushing the glass towards him. He mumbles his thanks and gulps down the water. I sit back down next to him and say "You can't expect me to be all ecstatic because you decide to show up after all this time. So let's just take it one step at a time. I know you are sorry about..about Prim..and I don't blame you for the bomb." He looks up at me, disbelief reflecting off his face. I nod and say "Yea, I don't blame you. You only created it. I know you loved Prim too. But Gale, I am still mad at you for leaving me alone here. I literally had no one. So, I have to think about forgiving you." He nods and smiles. "I knew you would at least consider it. Thanks Catnip." he says. He gulps down the rest of the water and stes the glass down on the steps. He gently takes my hand in his and strokes my palm with his thumb. I smile slightly. This was how he used to comfort me whenever I got upset or angry.
Memories of us, sitting in this exact position in the woods, wash over me. Those days seem a million years away. I clear my throat and lay my head on his shoulder. "So..Plutarch mentioned something about a job.." I say slowly. "Yeah..I was offered a job in District 2 and 4." he says nonchalantly. "Really? Which one did you accept?" I ask, now genuinely curious. "I took the one in 4. It seemed..calmer than 2." he replies. District 4. Fishing. Finnick's district. I swallow hard , trying to stop the tears from spilling. "What is your job, anyway?" I ask, hoping my voice won't crack. "I'm helping them build a new government. A better, fairer one. Like Plutarch described." he says. I let out a sigh.
I slowly glance at him. He is smiling at me, but his eyes say something else. "Don't..don't look at me like that. I don't want pity." I say. He lets out a booming laugh "Typicl Catnip". I reluctantly smile. "So..where's Peeta?" he asks. He seems almost too cool when he asks it. I think of an answer to give him. I can't stop thinking that Peeta has left me for good. "He's..uh...he's gone away to do.. something.." I mumble. He nods and smiles. "Gale..." I start my sentence but he just shakes his head. "I know Katniss. I know you are in love with him. You don't have to tell me." he says. He knows. Haymitch knows. Finnick knew. Everyone knows except me. " How do you know? " I blurt out before I can stop myself. He lets out a loud laugh. I stare at him. He shakes his head. I hate it when he shakes his head like that. Makes me feel inferior somehow. "You may be good at leading rebellions, but you are hopless when it comes to feelings." Which leaves me gaping. He gets up and points toward the phone. "Can I?" he asks. I nod and walk off to wash my face. He is probably right, I think. I've always been in love with Peeta. That's why his absence hurts so much. That's why my heart feels like it's made of lead right now. That's why all I want to do is curl up under my blankets and cry. I wash my face and look at myself in the mirror for the first time in days. I look horrible. There are dark bags under my eyes and I look like I'm gonna drop and fall asleep any moment. My head is a tangled mess of wet hair. I sigh and wipe my hands off. I don't look like a normal teenager. Or a rebel. I look like a weak, broken mess. And I hate it.
When I return I see Gale setting down the phone. Not wanting to seem too curious, I ask "You done so soon?" "Yeah, actually. I - uh - sort of brought you a surprise from District 4 and I was checking if it arrived." he replies, smiling. "Oh? So, has it arrived?" I ask. "It will in a few minutes" he laughs. "I guess the rebellion changed you too ,huh?" I say, moving to the couch. I sit and pull my legs upto my chest. He sits on the coffee table and looks at me questioningly. "You barely smiled or laughed before..and now, look at you" I say. He grins at me and says "Well, I din't have a reason before did I? Except for you of course." He gets up and walks to the door, leaving me feeling sheepish.
Suddenly the doorbell clangs loudly. I push myself off the couch and walk to the door, which Gale has already opened. He turns toward me, his face split in a wide grin, and gestures to the door. "Your surprise." I walk over , wondering what it is that he could'nt bring inside. I reach the door and my blood turns to ice. My surprise smiles at me, lighting up his warm brown eyes, his gold eyeliner gleaming.
Cinna.
