'You have the co-ordinates. I have the plan.' Who would have thought that Human magicka avoided such things? I thought I could control it, that my people could control it. We could not. I could not. That is why we were enslaved, that is how we were servants forever.
That is why the humans are my tools. Until the day I realized…
--
"Boooooosssssss." The waitress called once she made her way into the kitchen, where a grumbling chef was scolding a young saucier for bringing in his pet rat. "Boss." She repeated, drawing up to his side and tugging on his sleeves, "You got the orders ready for the eight-thirty? Table for ten?"
The chef sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he checked the menu. The already-two-hours-prepared meals sat in their own juices on the bench, kept in serving condition through a mix of Stop and Fire magic, Namine's night classes had instructed a vast population on the theory and usage of magic, the results of which were being applied across the islands with incredible effect. The chef snorted, checked on the food and a small portion of Crème Brule, and muttered to his subordinate, "Just get them something to drink for now. It's how these things are done, anyway."
The waitress rolled her eyes when his back turned, amused at how the addition of magic had shifted up so many procedures in the local industries. Not that she had bothered to use it much herself, a poorly calibrated thunder spell destroying a cellphone instead of recharging it had that effect on people. She brushed out of the doors to the kitchen, tugging her skirt down and smoothing her shirt, readying her notepad for the selection.
She stopped as she arrived at the table, blinking. That's right… She thought, looking over the expanses of odd hair, … that kid from my old school is having his birthday today. Stupid Majordomo should have told me about that.
After all, who could forget the spiky brown hair in a loose tuxedo belonging to the prankiest, most oblivious boy on the islands? Sora was a couple of years younger than her when she had still been in school, and the young boy's antics were well known, if not respected. The worst part about them was that Sora usually didn't have the skill, only the ideas. Poor Koizumi from Unmei Archipelago had been persuaded (Or brainwashed) into setting up a weight-crane, towing the Dean's car onto the roof of the gym. And then there was the fiasco involving the Principal, his PA system and a hacked recording of the song titled 'I just love to say Fuck'…
She'd loved them, personally.
There was Kairi in a pretty blue off-the-shoulder dress that reached the floor, the closest thing the island had to a princess figure. While she had her enemies and rivals like everyone else, it was more or less a given that the townsfolk tended to defer to her in little, almost unseen ways. Rights of way, exceptions, discounts, conspiratorial glances before slipping her an imported treat, complete with winks and grins. The fact that she was a naturally sweet and gentle woman only made pampering her easier for her several admirers. While her relationship with Sora had never been the centre of much gossip, she endured most teasing good-naturedly and at times had enough information (Courtesy of Selphie, the biggest mouth and stomach combo on the island) to make a quick comeback on the would-be-tormentor's own love life.
She grumbled a little internally as she waited for the seven people at the table to stop bickering/joking/yawning/shoving straws up their noses, thinking that she'd have to try and get back into contact with the younger students, what with all her friends away at universities with different break periods. Her eyes shifted to the chair to the left of Sora's, trying not to whistle under her breath.
Helloooooo there.
Silver hair? Check. Long, drool-worthy gaze with a set of fine features and well-filled torso? Check. Mysterious and tragic past? Check. Rapeable? Check. Riku's position as the hottest piece of ass on the bench had never been rescinded since he had arrived at her high school, not once. In a two-piece tuxedo, he exuded 'Please jump my bones' in such quantities that they wrote themselves in the air in big, pink lettering.
Two years younger, barely legal. Two years younger, barely legal. Two years younger…The words repeated themselves in her head like a mantra in her head as she failed to remember anything apart from the young man smirking his way through class. Surprisingly, he was only an average student, his natural intelligence rather dampened by his ennui and lack of motivation. She had never seen his parents, very few had, and his most recent guardian was just as reclusive. Gulping, she tried to remember something about the other three, quieter than the rest, who sat at the table.
Roxas and Namine, their clothing formal but undistinguishing, sat side by side. They almost seemed to be huddling, the way their arms were drawn in close to their sides and their entire postures seemed to fold them in half, crumbling them further into themselves like a sheet of paper. She knew very little about them, although there wasn't anyone over the age of six who didn't attend Namine's 'Courses for the Mundane Utilization of Magical Essence' at least once a week. Normally, she was a fairly strict teacher, even if her timid voice had the classroom filled with 'Wut wuz dat she sed?' on occasion. Roxas was even more of a mystery, seen at the side of the blackboard, scanning the crowd for anyone causing more racket than necessary… even if they were dead silent and just so happened to try and peek up Namine's dress when she leaned up to write something down with chalk. The doctors loved him, if only because the treatment for extensive bruising had risen in price by twenty gil.
That left the last man. She didn't know him. He had a brown ponytail, a scruffy suit, strange grey eyes and chewed on a toothpick. Medium build, dimpled chin, looked about mid-twenties and spoke like some gruff old bastard. That was it.
"Are we ready to order?" She cleared her throat, pen at the ready when the hubbub died down, indicating that she had been noted. "Drinks, that is." She corrected herself as a frown creased the older man's brow. So he had been the one to order the meals.
"You have any Piña Coladas?" Sora asked, blue eyes wide with anticipation, "I heard about them in a song and I really like Pineapple and Coconut so I figured-"
"She wants your order, not a philosophical rendering." Riku sighed, his hand propped lazily in the air and waving a finger around in circles, "I'll have the drink you think is best for me."
"Martini?" The waitress blurted out, before the famous Rikusmirk heaved into view. "Actually, I was hoping you could offer me a slippery nipple…" He drawled, missing Kairi's facepalm and the subtle narrowing of the Waitress' eyes.
"One Piña Colada…" She spoke, a trite coldly at being hit on, even if the said hitter-oner was a dreamboat, "… and one fuzzy navel."
"Nasty." The oldest man whispered as the slighted boy gave a choking sound, "You're not even going to ask for ID?"
"Your license is on the tip tray, so we're putting the responsibility on you." She pointed to the silver plater that held the jugs of water. The man grunted and pulled out his wallet, replacing his proof of age with a credit card. "There. I'll have a Virgin Mary. Kids need to be got to the right place alive, or I don't get my return."
"Riiight." She hummed to herself, taking down the order. "You three?" She spoke to the redhead and two blondes, who had just finished with the drinks menu.
"Ai Vossler, Burning Reddas and Circling B'nargen." Namine spoke for the three, casting a dirty look at Kairi as she used the opportunity to explain the jokes behind one of the names, in particular because a chilli pepper was used in that drink. "How many are we allowed?"
"As many as you can afford." She cast a pointed look at the Credit card, then the unknown man in old clothes, who scowled back with an indignant "Wadaya mean, as I can afford?"
"We'll serve the meals out with your drinks, don't worry about it." She hummed happily back with the orders, glad that there wasn't much work left to be done after this. The reservations couldn't have been set closer to closing time if they'd tried.
(=========)
"Ooooh, Kairi, you gotta try the chicken, it's a sizzling piece of BAM!" Sora grinned, miming Razel's -'Some famous cook, I think…' were the words most used to identify this hitherto unknown figure- pistol fingers up till an irritated Roxas reached over the table and twisted them backwards.
"Ow!"
"Kids, settle down." The older man grumbled, fumbling with his chopsticks in order to grab a stubborn fried dumpling and dip it in the sauce.
"He started it!" Roxas and Sora pointed at each other, oblivious to the irritated gazes of the other patrons. Kairi moved quick, plucking a single hair from the back of Sora's head and directing his squeaky attention elsewhere.
"So, Sora…" She started up, trying not to laugh as he searched for his ambusher, "… what was that about the chicken?"
"Hmm?" Sora turned his head, "Oh, right, I dunno what the chef did but it's really tender, the texture's incredible, and-" At this point, Kairi leaned a little over him to espy the mentioned meal. Sora found his normal gastronomic fascination rapidly losing ground to the strapless top on Kairi's dress.
"-and would you get a load of that breast…"
"Sora, this is a thigh portion." Kairi straightened up, leading Sora to quickly regain eye contact before she realized anything was amiss. "R-really? Oh, right, I guess I must have… uh… never mind. Would you like some?"
"I don't like chicken."
"Ah, yeah, of course. Right. Silly of me to mistake it. Yeah. Thigh. Not Breast. Yeah."
By now, the entire table had paused mid-bite to alternatively smirk, grin, blush in embarrassment or grumble about how while they were in a room, they weren't in a room as per se.
"Dinner and a Show, sweet." Roxas smiled, thanking the waitress as she provided him with his second cocktail of the night. "I don't know how I would've survived if we hadn't brought you along, Sora."
"What kind of friends would we be if we didn't invite a man to his own birthday party?" Riku pointed out, his pink drink still untouched after five minutes. He glared at it, wishing painful death on the evidence of his shame. "Besides that, Sora's paying."
"No, Kairi's father offered to pay." Namine reminded him, until said mayor's daughter came in with her two cents. "Dad said he'd call in a favour and have a friend pay it."
"Ah, so that's why Feni was upset last week." The older man said through a mouthful of cabbage and pork filling, "Silly woman said she'd find some poor chump to foot the entire thing. Trust me, sis has a tendency to just grab whoever's cash is closest and pay… through… her…"
His face fell, "Shit, the poor chump's me, isn't it." He directed the question at Riku, chewing angrily.
"Yeah, pretty much. She stole your Gummy Express card, too. And your Transit miles. And your airship coupons. And your porn stash. And your-"
"That's enough, kid. We get the drift: My name is Naba and my sister cheats me out of anything with monetary value or a vagina." Naba intervened before the silver-haired youth divulged any information further than his illicit series of erotica. However, Riku had only just opened the can of worms.
"So that's where Sora got it from…" Roxas mumbled to himself, dramatically slapping his hands over his mouth when he realized that Kairi was daintily holding a very sharp knife, smiling a too-sweet smile and asking "What was that, Roxas?"
Sora looked like he wanted to run away. Or kill Roxas. Or kill himself. In fact, that large bowl of rosewater looked curiously inviting…
"N-n-n-n-n-n-n…" Roxas stuttered and a small extension of Kairi's arm brought the knife's tip to rest against his bobbing Adams Apple.
"You wouldn't lie to Namine, and by that extension, me, would you?" She purred, leaving the boys confident that they wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight for the nightmares. "Do you know what I think I'll do if you don't spill the beans?"
"N-n-n-n-n-n-n…"
Kairi's voice was a whisper at that point, "I'll come into your room at night, and when you're asleep, I'll use this knife and cut off-"
"Okay! Fine! Feni gave it to him as an early birthday present and he keeps it under his mattress and he giggles while he reads it, okay?!" Roxas hissed, prompting incredulous looks from the other members and one very betrayed-looking Sora.
"Sora reads porn?" Namine questioned.
"Sora reads my porn?!" Naba gasped, "That stuff's a bit…"
"Sora, as a friend, I have to ask you. In the future, when you decide to stop acting like an idiot and marry some poor unfortunate woman, are you going to want to have kids?" Kairi trilled, facial features blissfully peaceful.
"Huh?" Sora jolted out of his terrorized paralysis and gave it some actual thought, forlornly wishing that Kairi had just changed the subject because she was too sweet to continue down that embarrassing line. "Y-yeah, I guess so. I totally want kids."
Kairi brandished the knife with a twirl. "Too bad."
The restaurant doors to the outside opened, and all hell broke loose. Sora, glad to be given a distraction, turned and greeted the rowdy trio that had ambled up and scared the Maitre D.
"Dolur, Alex, Dyme! About freaking time!"
Behind him, Namine and Riku noted Kairi's twitching eye, and shared a look.
Dead man walking.
--
… That fondness had dulled the edges of my tools. Strange, strange creatures, these humans are.
