Third Time Around
. . .
. . .
. . .
Reviews & Remarks
Skywisechan:
Well you certainly have built up quite a lot of pre-history and more for this little foray. I'm very curious to see where it's going to lead.
Heh. So am I. This second chapter is rather more expanded than I'd planned.
. . .
discb
So far so good, can't wait to see the next bit. The whole being a dud in bed got me to laugh3
Glad to hear it! Red X came up with that part. He's a little … conceited about certain things.
. . .
MixedPairings101
Damn, girl! U sound soooo professional! Hahaha! Awesome! Continue! :)
Thank you, thank you. Sounds professional, eh? Excellent.
. . .
Gabylokita41
I loved it and I can't wait to read the next chap. I think u did an awesome job I shall wait to read the rest :)
I am very pleased that you liked it! Hope you like this one just as much.
. . .
. . .
. . .
* * Midnight * *
Light from the single lamp I'd left on made very interesting refraction patterns in my shot glass. These were browner than the earlier ones. I'd started out with Bushmill's, killed that bottle, and moved on to an Islay single-malt that someone had given me for Christmas four years back, after I'd turned twenty-one. Bowmore, I think. Let me look at the bottle …
Yeah. Bowmore. Good stuff. Smoky and dark and so smooth a fly couldn't stick to it. Runs down your throat like a lover's kiss, as they say …
Hah. Lover. I had one, once. Or twice. Depends on how you think about it. Only ever wanted her. No one else. Wasn't anyone else that could come close.
I let my eyes drop shut, trying to keep the memories at bay.
… Not even close.
I didn't want to remember her. I'd moved up here, up to the western border of the Breaks, so I could damn well forget her. Got myself all killed and dead and shit. And what does she do?
Bitch.
She made me love her. It was those legs that got my attention, those eyes that held it. I mean, damn. Once I managed to get her away from that cloak … hell on a crutch! Most perfectly-assembled example of womanhood I'd ever even imagined, and there she stood.
Yeah. There she stood, trying to ring my bell for me. And not doing a bad job of it. More than once I barely got away intact. I had to make some major changes in the way my X's worked, so that they'd scramble her control for a while. But she kept adapting.
Heh. Just like the Borg. Ha! 'Resistance is futile.' Don't I freaking know it.
An' the way she looked was just the tip of the iceberg. Once we'd, you know, 'interacted' a few times, I was hooked. That incredibly dry sense of humor. And she's just about the smartest … and the way she could always …
Oh, yeah, Jason, good job 'forgetting' her.
Noticing that my glass was empty, I poured myself another shot, whereupon I also noticed that the bottle was empty. I blinked at it owlishly for a few seconds and then set it carefully on the floor beside the others.
Oh, yeah. See, I'd started with beer, but that wouldn't get me numb enough, so after … let's see … yeah, after five Newcastles I switched to Irish whiskey. 'cause it's got more kick.
(Okay, so, technically Newcastle is a brown ale, not a beer. Don't care. And that was the last of my personal stock. Beer doesn't age well, as I know from personal experience, so I don't try to make it last very long.)
Funny thing about that, though. I've always had a hollow leg. I started working on the Bushmills … um, lessee, I'd make it … yeah, nearly five hours ago. And I put down most of a bottle of Irish, and all of a bottle of Bowmore, and yeah, I've got a good buzz, but that's about it. I also know that I'm gonna wake up tomorrow with several dozen woodpeckers hammering away at the backs of my eyes. Even good Scotch will do that to you.
But I really don't give a shit, because it helps me to forget her.
No, wait. That's not really the right word. 'cause I'm not forgetting her, 'cause I'm thinking about her right now.
The booze helps me … not to care.
As much.
God, Raven, why'd you have to find me? I mean, what the hell?
You made it pretty fucking plain that you didn't ever want to see me again.
Didn't want to 'hurt' me.
Right.
So she stabs my heart and tears it right slam open and fishes around until she finds the ego and pulls it out by the roots, and then laughs at me for caring.
That night? She knew I was outside. She knew I was watching. I could feel that tickle at the bottom of my mind. And she went ahead and made out with Jinx anyway, knowing how it would rip me in half, knowing that I'd watch anyway because She Was Just So Damn Hot and there wasn't anything I could do to stop myself, even though seeing her make love to Jinx was like having a red hot pitchfork in my gut.
Didn't want to 'hurt' me. I don't think there's anything she could have done that would hurt me worse.
I need more whisky. I've got some Ben Nevis around here somewhere …
. . .
. . .
. . .
He's had just the one lamp on for a couple of hours now.
I can still pick up a random thought or two every few minutes.
It was easier at first because he was so upset. Any man, woman, child, or semi-aware chimp would have been able to pick up on him then. By now it's waaaaay beyond …
Don't think about it, Raven.
It occurs to me to pull my parka around myself more tightly. There had been no air movement at all earlier, but over the past hour or so a fairly fresh breeze found its way into this little valley, and by now the wind chill must be ferocious. Keeping warm was … a concern? Did I really care? Not so much that I could just ignore the tempest of pain and betrayal and righteous indignation being broadcast from …
Don't think about it, Raven!
Yeah, like that will work. I knew he'd be mad. I knew, once I was sure of his trail, that finding him would … create a scene. I'd certainly worked hard enough to drive him away.
Jinx had made her preferences quite plain, even before I left Jason the first time. She was (for the sake of appearances, as far as I could tell) with Kid Flash. She was his partner, the only one he ever really had. But even then she was 'sneaking some fish tacos', as Argent so pithily put it. And, according to Argent, she was quite … talented. And I'll admit the idea intrigued me.
Demons don't go in for monosexuality as a general rule. That's your factoid for today.
The 'Beast Boy thing' was old ground, as Jason had said … old and parched and sterile. There wasn't enough of that dead horse left to beat. ('Dead horse' being quite the apt allusion, when it came to descriptions of his so-called prowess in the bedroom. And compared with Jason? It was really too pitiful.) But I digress. It's getting harder to think. Probably a side effect of the cold. Kind of like my waning powers.
Jinx. Right …
Oh, screw it. I'll try to concentrate on the cabin. Maybe he's mellowing out …
. . . . . . .
PAIN
and
loss
and
PAIN
and
hurt
and
PAIN
and
anger
and
PAIN
and
. . . . . . .
… Um. Not really. Not so as you'd notice.
I spent the first couple of hours, after he kicked me out, hovering around outside his cabin, trying to formulate some kind of excuse for knocking on his door and begging my way back inside. Or, barring that, simply teleporting in.
But … I didn't want to do it that way. I wanted …
You're going to think this sounds completely insane. I wanted him to want for me to come back in.
Yes, citizens, Raven has lost it. Thanks for noticing.
But, seriously, I truly did not expect for him to be so … so mad. Such anger.
Such … cold anger. He had obviously had plenty of time for the damage to fester, and it's just as obvious that's what it did, instead of healing. And I came along and ripped the scab off and spilled toxic-relationship waste all over the landscape.
Way to go, Raven.
As if what I did to him through Jinx wasn't enough.
Maybe … hey, maybe if he talked to her? She was able to talk sense into me, so …
Man. How many flavors of screw-up am I? I can't even cheat correctly! And she figured it out pretty damn quick, too. She wasn't even all that upset with me. But then she's a lot more resilient than people give her credit for. Smarter, too. If I weren't already so utterly besotted with Jason …
But she's with Cheshire now, and they're really good together. And I really am out of options.
Oh, well. If wishes were fishes and so forth. She knew what I needed better than I did myself, which, given the amount of time I've spent in meditation and introspection throughout my life, is completely humbling. It's that same old, tired, clichéd story: You never appreciate what you have until it's gone. And in my case, it's gone because I arranged for it to be gone.
Damn parka. Stupid thing won't stay closed.
Oh, wait. It is closed. It's the damn wind …
. . .
. . .
. . .
Was lookin' for the Ben Nevis. Found some Bacardi 151 instead. F'got I had it. Stuff packs a wallop an' 'at's no shit.
's funny, though. I'm more'n half wasted, an' some o' the scenes are jus' as clear as 'ey can be.
. . . . . . . I waited until night to return to the Tower.
Not because I needed the cover,
or because I was 'scared' of Nightwing
('Martial Arts Master' my ass …
he's a huge, conceited bag of hot air
an' he'd trip over his own balls given half a chance),
but because I knew she'd be there.
It was Greenie's turn to patrol.
Raven always stayed in those nights.
At least she had until Jinx came into the picture.
I was pissed at the pink-haired witch,
but not for the same reasons I was mad at Raven.
I knew Jinx. I'd known her for a long time,
Even from before she went into the H.I.V.E.
She's random and cunning and dangerous
and would make a really bad enemy.
Not that I worried about that.
I make a really bad enemy, too.
We respected each other's abilities.
Though I was no computer whiz, I had my moments,
and hacking Cyborg's security system was one.
I materialized in front of her door.
Then I just waited.
She would know I was here, knock or no.
Sure enough, less than a quarter minute later,
the portal slid open. I walked in.
She was in civilian clothes,
sitting in front of her mirror,
brushing out her hair.
It was longer now, and it looked really good.
Damn it.
There was blush on her cheeks …
I could see traces of lip gloss and mascara.
"You're going out."
She only nodded.
"You'll get tired of her eventually,
just like you get tired of everyone and everything."
She was unperturbed. "That is of no consequence."
"Jinx might not be as forgiving as I am."
She turned to me then.
"You think I fear Jinx? That's amusing."
"I only think you actually fear one thing.
You've proven it often enough."
"And what is it that I fear?"
"Commitment."
Her brow clouded. "You overstep yourself."
"As if. This is your fourth relationship
in a little less than a year,
if you count twice breaking up with me.
I think it's pretty damn obvious
you're just groping in the dark."
"As I recall, you were the one that did the groping."
"And you didn't just lie there like a lump, Sunshine."
She startled a tiny bit at the nickname,
but then waved dismissively and turned back to her mirror.
"That was just a phase. An experiment, if you will."
"So you're all fixed up with Jinx now,
and everything's perfect? Is that what you tell yourself?"
"I fail to see how it is any of your business."
"You fail to see a hell of a lot of things."
"You should go."
"And you should wake up.
But it looks like it's gonna be a long wait for that miracle."
I didn't notice the black mist
creeping up my legs until that
bottomless portal opened under me.
I'm awfully fast,
and my reflexes are without peer,
but it wasn't enough.
I fell into the surf a couple dozen meters from the Tower.
Fortunately I'd made some changes in the suit,
so the xenothium chamber was watertight.
Her voice sounded lightly in my mind:
Give it up, Jason. You're old news.
I 'ported right back up to her room, but she was gone. . . . . . .
Saw her one more time after that. Tried t' talk to her. Didn' go so well. She went all four-eyed-demon on my ass, an' I hadda high-tail it. Girl can go from zero to hellbitch in two seconds flat.
Well whaddaya know. Bottle's empty. Wonder what else I got back there.
. . .
. . .
. . .
It's … pretty cold now.
Concentration's shot to hell.
Haven't been able to levitate for a while now. I think. Maybe? Can't remember. Walked over to the cabin. Stumbled, more like. Crawled under the lean-to. Wind's not so bad here.
Got the same thing running through my head on an endless loop. Last time he ever tried to talk to me.
. . . . . . . Jinx and I had argued.
Nothing new about that.
She's entirely too perspicacious for her own good.
The argument got … somewhat heated.
It was fortunate that we were in the park at the time.
That kept collateral damage to a minimum.
I was on the roof, meditating,
(trying to, at any rate)
and he was just there.
The one we had been arguing about.
I was in no mood to bear his presence,
his jibes, his innuendos,
his sense of betrayal,
his insufferable pain.
But he showed up anyway.
It has been happening more often of late.
He refuses to get the message,
though I have been as blunt as a hammer.
Jinx has known him far longer than I.
Several years.
Why they never became a couple is beyond me.
She certainly has what it takes,
and he certainly has the raging hormones.
I pretend not to notice him.
"On the outs with Jinx again, I see."
I ignore him.
"I hate to say 'I told you so', but …
no, wait, actually I kinda enjoy it.
The way the words just roll around:
'I toooold you so.' Sounds good, don't it?"
That does not bear ignoring.
"I would not speak so if I were you, Red X."
"But you ain't me, are you?
No, you're th' Almighty Raven,
and the rules don't apply to you.
You're too special to …"
"I would NOT speak so if I were YOU."
"Why the hell not?
What you gonna do, hero?
Kill me?"
It is then that I determine he is under the influence.
This does not placate me.
"You need to remove your impaired self before
you say something you can't take back."
"What if I don't wanna?"
"Then I will not be responsible for the consequences."
"Hell, you ain't responsible for dick now!
You never own up to any of your …"
The last bit of that statement was lost
when I knocked all the breath out of him
with a huge fist of darkness.
"Shut up, Jason!"
He bounced back to his feet.
Apparently the alcohol hadn't dulled his reflexes much.
"Yeah, that's right! Hit me! Go on!
You got no argument,
nothin' to say that makes any sense,
so you just attack!
Think I can't take it?
I've handled the worst you could dish out, Sunshine.
If seein' you with Jinx didn't kill me,
nothin' else you can do will!"
I fear that I … lost control at that point.
He dodged my next sally,
teleported behind me,
and swept my legs out from under me.
I was able to phase through the roof
rather than landing on it,
and came back up several meters behind him.
He was facing away, glancing around,
and turned just as I grabbed him.
The black energy held him
in three bands,
immobile.
He struggled madly, but could not escape.
I drew closer.
With another tendril of dark mist,
I jerked off his mask.
I wanted to see his fear.
The demon in me wanted payback
for the insults he threw my way.
I pulled my face up centimeters from his …
but …
there was no fear.
His eyes were full of sadness.
Full of regret.
Lost hope.
Love.
The force of his love pushed at my psychic shield,
making me wince.
I grit my teeth, showing him my fangs.
"Why won't you just stay away?" I screamed.
His voice small and lost, he said,
"I can't. You know I can't."
I could not stand it.
I had done everything I could to drive him away.
He was like a stray cat that had been fed
and would dodge the rocks I threw.
My demon was no longer amused.
With a primal bellow of frustration,
I shook him like a terrier shakes a rat,
then I threw him toward the sea with everything I had.
He made a monstrously long arc,
surely more than a kilometer,
but his dwindling form winked out
when he was still a few hundred meters in the air.
I didn't wait to see whether he would try to return.
A gelid wind blasted from the hole
I opened in reality,
and I let it suck me in . . . . . . .
I don't like to remember that.
You can probably guess why.
But I remember it anyway.
He's just a human, you know? No special meta abilities. Doesn't heal … any better than the kid who delivers pizza to the Tower. He's fast, but he's no Olympic sprinter. Strong, but I know lots of baseline power-lifters … who are stronger. He's got some mad martial arts skills, a wicked sense of humor, and balls of tempered steel, but really … he's just a human.
He got hurt during that cross-dimensional invasion crap. Hurt bad. I healed him as much as I could … but he still spent two weeks … in the hospital … and was on crutches … for another month.
I give in to a yawn and I … notice how stiff my arms feel.
Huh. Can't really … feel my fingers. That's funny.
I had to … physically threaten Nightwing … to keep him from throwing Jason … in prison … while he was incapacitated.
Never told him about that.
He's just … a human … and I'm not.
I couldn't let him … stay with me. It would be … too dangerous.
Huh. I guess Jason's insulation … isn't as good … as he thought. Startin' to … feel … warm.
… Feels …
… nice …
. . .
. . .
. . .
Chapter End Note: This was supposed to be the final chapter. However, my Muse had other ideas. So there will be one more. Probably.
