Chapter 2
Voight's POV
Jay slept like a log all night. He was obviously tired, usually even the slightest noise wakes him up. Erin told me that it was like he had a sixth sense switched on while he slept. I'm kind of glad he was too exhausted for it to be of any use.
On another note, I slept like shit. I was constantly watching Jay and I must have only achieved a few hours. Not that I'm going to complain, I made a promise to Jay and I'm not going to break it just because I've got cramp in my neck.
It's the early hours of the morning so I heave off the chair I've been slouched in and get myself ready before Jay wakes. Grabbing a quick cereal bar from his fridge, I eat while washing my face in the kitchen sink. Once feeling somewhat refreshed I focus on the task at hand.
I go into Jay's bathroom cabinet and rummage around for ointment of some kind that I can apply to his cuts. They aren't going to heal on their own quickly, so I find something to at least soothe the agitation of his skin. I eventually find what I'm looking for, and leave to put it on the side for later. I then settle into his living room and wait.
Jay's POV
Sun is pouring in through the window of my bedroom and I glance at the time. "Shit" I mutter, quickly flinging the duvet off myself and throwing myself out of bed - I'm going to be late for work.
Just then I hear a noise coming from my living room, and I freeze in fear. I'm just about to aim my gun when Voight walks in, and sees what's about to unfold. He quickly takes the gun from my hands and puts it on the side out of my reach.
"Relax Jay, I stayed last night to keep an eye on you. There's nobody else here, just you and me. Go get a shower, we can talk afterwards."
I trudge in the direction of the bathroom and that's when last night's events come flooding back to me. Without a second thought the tears begin to flow freely and before I know it I'm stood under the cold spray of water sobbing loudly. I'm in so much distress and as I look down at my arms, all I want to do is cut to make the pain go away.
I'm not sure how long I stand there before I hear Voight come in. He must have heard me crying. He doesn't say anything as he approaches the shower, just beckons me to sit down. I do as he asks, and he reaches for my shampoo, putting a blob on his hands. Suddenly I'm embarrassed and pull away, but he shushes me gently and begins to rub the shampoo through my scalp and messy hair. His fatherly touch, along with the warm water, is enough to allow me to calm myself down and I sink into his embrace as he continues to rub my head.
After a while he reaches up and pulls the shower head off the wall. He then continues by washing off all the soap from my hair, taking obvious care not to get any in my eyes. I can tell he's absolutely soaking, but he continues nonetheless. It's the first time in weeks I've showered properly, and it feels good.
After putting the shower head back, he puts a hand on my shoulder. "Get yourself washed and dried off Jay, but leave your top off when you come into the bedroom, okay?" I nod, and he walks out to give me some privacy.
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Once my bottom half is clothed and I've rubbed my hair somewhat dry, I approach the bedroom to see Voight sitting waiting for me. He's changed his wet clothes to dry ones, and I offer him a confused look.
"Al" he says. I give a nod of understanding - Olinsky must have been round and dropped some things off at the door while we were busy. Good timing, I think to myself.
Voight then beckons me to sit next to him, and I comply. He reaches for my arms and I flinch, the area still tender and causing me to feel shame and guilt. My breathing quickens and he immediately notices, backing off slightly.
He speaks gently. "Hey Jay?" This catches my attention. "I know that this is really hard for you. All I want to do is rub some ointment on to help them heal quicker and irritate you less. Is that okay?" All I can do is nod slightly, still plagued by panic and shame. "You can lay back if you want so that you don't have to watch, it might help" he kindly adds, and I decide to listen to that advice and rest my head on the pillows.
He then opens the tube of ointment and puts some on his hands, before reaching for mine and gently massaging it into the angry scars. He keeps a steady stream of comforting words going the whole time, making sure I stay grounded. The ointment is really soothing and as the stinging starts to subside a little, I let my eyes fall closed. Normally I wouldn't let myself be so off guard, but I trust Voight after everything he has done for me. The darkness pulls me in and I welcome it.
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Voight's POV
I know Jay is asleep when I hear his breathing even out. I was worried he wasn't going to let me touch him, but he seems to trust me. I pull the covers up over his sleeping form and leave to go and start making some phone calls, as well as a meal. Because Jay hasn't eaten properly for weeks, that's high up on my agenda.
The first person I know I need to contact is Erin. I've had numerous missed calls from her since we didn't show up for work this morning, and I know she will be worried despite Al's excuse about the CI. She's a smart kid and won't take that for a reliable answer. I press call and wait for her to pick up.
Sure enough, she answers straight away.
"Hank! Where are you? I've been calling you loads, I was getting worried!" She's almost shouting down the phone, and I chuckle slightly at her concern.
"Erin, we're fine. I'm with Halstead. He's going through a rough patch, and I'm keeping an eye on him while he finds his bearings." There's a gasp from the other end of the line. "When he is ready, he'll tell you more, but right now I need you to let him find his own way. I know you care and want to help, and I'll call you when we're ready, promise."
I can hear a sigh from the other end. "Okay Hank. Please keep me in the loop, I care about Jay. He's my partner and best friend." I know she means what she said. Erin has always loved Jay with her whole heart and Jay has equal feelings, but I've stopped it because I don't tolerate in-house relationships. I'm starting to rethink, however.
"I know Erin, I know. See you soon kid." I say before hanging up the phone.
I know I need to contact Al and let him know what's going on, but I want to meet him in person for that. So instead, I move on to the next part of my list. Food.
Moving to the kitchen I open Jay's cabinets to see what is actually edible. To my surprise I find that the majority of his food is in date. He must keep his food delivery on a weekly repeat subscription, which wouldn't shock me as I know Jay likes routine.
I spend the next hour making a meal with everything the kid is lacking - protein, vitamins, carbohydrates etc. I'm asking for a lot, it's a big plate of food, but I will understand if he can't manage it so soon after. It's going to take time to build up his strength again.
I'm contemplating waking him up when he trudges in, the smell of good food clearly having woken him up as he follows the scent right to the kitchen. He then stops short.
Jay's POV
The smell of food has woken me up - I'm starving and it smells delicious. When I see what Voight has prepared however, all I can do it stop and stare. My stomach is doing somersaults at the amount and I know that I'm not going to manage. Voight seems to pick up on my discomfort and gives me a reassuring smile.
"It's okay Jay, I'm not going to force you to eat it all. I just put a bit of everything on there so you can get something decent in you. Come and sit down with me and we can have a chat." I trust him so I sit.
We talk for ages about each other's lives, it's interesting to find out about Voight's secret obsessions and he learns things about me that I've not told many others. For some reason I feel I can talk to him, and I embrace my new confidence. I know that his eyes are on me as I eat, making sure I actually do, but I'm aware it's for my own good.
I start to slow down, my stomach acid is beginning to retreat back up my oesophagus. I push the plate away and mutter a quick sorry to Voight, who rubs my back letting me know he's still here. I feel him lead me to my couch before gently pushing my shoulders down, a silent signal for me to lie flat. I follow his instructions and he covers me up a with a blanket. My eyes slide shut once again.
Voight's POV
Jay has fallen asleep again, and I'm glad. It's good to see him getting the shut eye he desperately needed. All things going well, I'm planning on taking him back to work tomorrow, with obvious supervision from me at all times. I know he needs to tell Erin at some point, so I'll have that conversation with him when he wakes. I settle again into a seat and watch him. Tomorrow is going to be hard for him, and I'm hoping he doesn't go backwards. I know deep down though, that he's gonna be okay. Tomorrow is a new day.
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A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews on the first part! Feel free to drop another, or you can contact me on Twitter and Instagram @theonechicagoncis. Much love x
