Rose had just finished making the tea as the sound of rain hit the roof began to resonate in the kitchen. Still in her sleepwear, she was headed back down the hallway to the control room when a flash of movement caught her wandering eye. She knew it was the Doctor, not because he was the only other person on the ship, but because she could sense his twisting emotions in the way he rushed down the hall and through a door, almost as if he didn't want her to see him. He may not have looked that same as he did before he regenerated, but he was still very much an oncoming storm. She followed him silently through the door to what turned out to be his bedroom and stood in the doorway taking the sight in. There in the middle of a very plain- no, plain wasn't the right word at all- humble, simple room was her best friend, the Doctor, perched on the edge of a bed that looked barely used. Different gadgets lined the tops of tables and dressers along with several misplaced books scattered along the shelves or stacked in corners. What broke Rose's heart however, was not the state of the unused room, but the state of the man who now sat with his head in his hands, shoulders slumped, and back heaving from silent sobs.
"You need sleep," Rose stated lovingly.
"I've told you Rose," the Doctor gasped as he raised his head up and place it on top of his hand which was no longer wrapped, "the superior genetics of Time Lords means-"
"Oh save it," Rose exclaimed as she crossed the floor and placed both cups of tea on the stand next to his bed. He ignored them. Then she walked around the room to the opposite side of the bed, climbed across, and began reaching for collar of his coat to pull it off but was immediately stopped when he stood up and left her sitting there on the bed staring at him.
"Please don't do this Rose," he begged. She knew he wasn't telling her something. Something big. The storm outside seemed to agree with her.
"Tell me what's wrong," she retorted. He rolled his eyes and turned his back as she got off of the bed and stood in front of him.
"Rose I- I'm fine. You shouldn't be in here." He closed his eyes, lowered his head and pointed to the door.
"Don't you dare..." Rose started as she gripped is healed hand and spun him around to face her, "...lie to me." When he opened his defeated eyes, Rose noticed the heavy shadows under them and the sadness within them. Then suddenly, just when she thought she had won, his face changed and his eyes grew darker.
"Rose, I hate disappointing you for a third time tonight, but it seems to be what I'm good at. Please... get out." He hardly believed his own words, but he knew he had meant them. He didn't want her to see him like this. He felt utter sadness as Rose's hands left his and she walked towards the door. What she did next, however, filled him the tiniest bit of relief, joy... and anger.
"No," she answered. The room was now silent except for the rain that was roaring down the sides of the ship as both friends stared each other down, neither one daring to break the connection. Finally, Rose left the door and walked towards him, arms outstretched, ready to catch him should he fall.
"Rose, please..."
"What about all of those times you have helped me?"
"Rose, no. I don't want this." They were now yelling over the sound of the rain.
"Just let me help you, this one time."
"Rose, I said no."
"I know how to make it better." Rose had finally reached him and had forced her arms around his body, pinning his arms to his side and restricting his every movement. But it was not a conventional hug, She squeezed him rather hard and allowed her body to but pressure against all of his, the whole time looking at his face and speaking. She was more holding him than hugging.
"Rose! No!" He fought it. He fought her. He didn't want her comfort, not now, but he knew he needed it. Still, he fought hard. He thrashed his whole body to force her to let go, she didn't. He pulled at his arms to force her off, but still she did not budge. Suddenly, the small amount of anger he felt earlier came rushing out and he did all he could to toss her off of him, but she remained. The whole time the storm thundered outside.
"I know it hurts, Doctor. Let it hurt because I have got you. You're gonna fight against it at first," she said as softly as she could over the sound of the rain, "and it's only gonna get worse before it gets better." At this point the Doctor was no longer yelling words, just yelling. Screaming. Screaming for every person he had ever wronged, everything horrible he had ever done to anyone, his own planet, his own people, anyone he had ever ruined, disappointed, forgotten: they all hurt. And the one person he loved but could never tell was forcing him to hurt.
"But eventually, the pressure I'm putting on your body is gonna constrict your blood vessels..."
But he knew that she would never let him forget all those he had saved. How many planets he had protected, how many lives he had spared... How he had saved her.
"...and your hearts will begin to slow down." She was pleased. He was no longer fighting her. Instead, he had fallen to his knees in her arms and was racked again by heaving sobs. He did not try to hide anything from her now. Finally, she removed her arms from around his body and moved them to his face, lifting it up so he could see her eyes. "Please believe me, Doctor." He moved his mouth to speak, but he could not say anything. He didn't want to say anything. He just simply closed his eyes and let her wrap her arms around his head as he wrapped his around her waist.
Somehow, as Rose looked at his tired eyes, she saw a glint of darkness still lingering. After several long moments of sitting on the floor with each other, Rose once again slid her hands under his coat collar to remove it. This time he did not protest, he simply stared out the single window at the rain. Once the coat was off his shoulders, Rose slid it all the way off and tossed it down by the bed. Then, again without protest, she removed his tie. And then his shoes. He was surprised at himself when he found that he was slightly disappointed she had not removed more of his clothing.
Finally she pulled him up onto the bed and crawled in next to him under the covers. So many times had she asked him to stay with her at night, she was not about to leave him by himself now. When she had turned out the light, she snuggled even closer to him, place her hand on his chest, and promptly fell asleep. With the room silent except for the continuing rain, the Doctor finally allowed himself to surrender to sleep with the scent of honey and brown sugar on his nose. With the forgotten cups of tea turning cold next to him, he slept well... for a few hours at least.
Hope you enjoy it. Sorry if that chapter was a little confusing so I'll try to explain what was happening. Basically, when cows are sent off to slaughter, they are put in a machine that squeezes them gently on both sides for an extended period of time. This forces their blood vessels to constrict, their heart rate to slow, and eventually calms them down. Rose is applying the same technique to the Doctor, but he is fighting it. It's basically a really forceful hug.
