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Disclaimer- I don't own My Sister's Keeper. Jodi Picoult does. What else is new?

Sara's POV

I lay in bed, and stared at the ceiling, pretending to be asleep, while Brian did the same beside me.

"You're awake." I said, not a question.

"You too."

I rolled over to face Brian. His features swathed in shadow, he could have been anyone.

"Sara," Brian said slowly, "What if we…what if tried again?"

"Tried what again?" I asked.

Brian said nothing, and I knew the answer.

Kate's POV

My dream went like this:

"Anna? Anna, where are you?" I cried, searching the misty darkness, seeing nothing.

In the distance I saw a figure, a shadowy shape that could have been anyone. I knew who it was.

I took one step forward, then another, my arms outstretched as I ran to embrace me sister.

"Anna!"

I went right through her, not even feeling it. She was there, and not there, as insubstantial as a cloud.

"Kate." She said. "Kate, it's time to let me go." And she began to fade.

"Anna!"

She was gone.

"Anna!" I screamed, bolting up. My breath was heavy and ragged. Just a dream.

I threw the covers aside and stood slowly, imagining that I had to be careful, that I could not disturb a single item. It distracted me well enough.

I reached the bathroom and flipped on the light. I stood, staring at my reflection in the mirror until it blurred. Until it could have been anyone.

Brian's POV

It was supposed to get easier, I thought. Easier as time went on. Easier to see her picture. Easier to eat her favorite food, to pass the closed door that was once her room.

"You're awake," came Sara's voice from the dark beside me.

"You too." I said. Not that I hadn't known. It was just easier to ignore it, like it was easier to ignore than to acknowledge when tears dripped down Kate's face at the dinner table. Easier to ignore the lump in my throat when I found one of her shirts in the laundry.

Had it been our fault, in some way? Had we done something to make this happen? Were we bad parents? Bad people?

"Sara," I said slowly. "What if…what if we tried again?"

"Tried what again?" She already knew.

"Sara, we can't go on like this."

She didn't answer, and I continued before I lost my nerve. "Another chance, you know?"

"We're not replacing Anna," Sara said coldly, and she rolled away from me.

I said quietly, into the velvety darkness, to Sara, to myself. "I didn't say we were. We never could."

Sara rolled back over.

Jesse's POV

I tipped the contents of the bottle down my throat, then threw it aside, with the other ones.

I stood up, and then feel back down again. A tear ran down my cheek, and closed my eyes, squeezing out more.

What was the point in wiping it away when I already knew more would take its place.

I learned a long time ago that I can not drink the pain away. I can not cut the pain away, I can not sleep the pain away. I can not will the pain away, I can not dream the pain away. I can not pray the pay away.

I reach for another bottle anyway.

Anna's POV

Heaven is nice enough, but it's not home.

Looking is nice enough, but it's not being.

Nothing further.

Not for now.