Some good days passed and nothing else was said about what happened that night. Venom noticed Eddie was doing some things more frequently, nothing he hadn't seen before but it started to catch his attention.
He noticed Eddie was looking at himself more in the mirror, but not like he was shaving or trying on clothes or doing something with his hair. Seem like he was searching for something in his reflection. He also noticed he was constantly checking some parts of his body, looking at them and touching them several times a day, with a specific type of touch. Looked like he was trying to find evidence of something on his arms, thighs, and neck.
He was laying in bed since sunrise, he was awake but didn't get up. It's been hours and he ignored Venom talking to him the whole morning. The more he stayed there, the more he felt anguished, Venom could feel that horrible anxiety in Eddie's chest. He wanted to get up but he was too depressed for that. Get up and do what? Live? Nope, better stay here, just the idea of walking to the corridor seemed too much pain. Venom was getting mad and started threatening to eat his liver if he didn't go to the kitchen to eat. His anxiety intensified but he went there anyway, Venom managed to scare him out of bed.
There at the kitchen, Eddie just wouldn't eat what Venom wanted. They ate a normal sized dish, that would be ok for someone like Eddie but certainly not nearly enough for Venom. The alien started to curse him and Eddie lost his temper as well, yelling back at him and shouting for him to shut up. But when Venom yelled that it was unbearable to be with him, he just left his dish on the sink and sat quietly on the couch. He was curled in the corner at first but soon lay down on the couch, still curled, as he squeezed his eyes shut. He felt himself sink there, secretly wishing he never had to return to the surface again.
Venom could feel the physical signs of extreme anxiety his host was experiencing, that twist on his gut, that pressure on his throat, sharp breathing and strong heartbeats that were somehow hurting him as well. He knew he was tired too, the dark circles under his eyes never seemed to get any better. He wasn't the most mentally stable host he could wish for since the beginning. When they met Eddie was dealing with what was probably the lowest low of his life, that brings consequences for any human and he had to face that whatever power he could give him, nothing could bring back what he lost.
He was becoming closer to Eddie, he cared about him even though his actions didn't show that so clearly. The idea he was causing him pain or discomfort was unexpectedly hard to deal with. He didn't want another host and he was certain that it was not just a matter of having a host he didn't kill, he wanted him to be fine.
"Eddie… Maybe we should talk about things, you're not ok" Venom said in a calm tone, very different from the moment before
He didn't answer for some good time, he didn't want to say anything. He hated talking about his problems, made him feel weak and vulnerable.
"I don't want to, I'll be ok. I just need some time" He finally said with a trembled voice, which gave him away
"Sorry I yelled at you. I get angry when I'm hungry"
"I know, I haven't been eating enough for us both I guess. I'll eat more later, ok?"
"Ok but that's not the problem. You're acting weird… why do you keep doing those things? And what have you been dreaming about?"
"I don't know what you're talking about," he said trying to avoid the conversation
"Eddie…" Venom warned him with much severity on his voice
He sighed and cleaned this throat before continuing.
"Ok… I… Man, I feel so stupid for saying this, it's embarrassing" Eddie said hesitantly
"We shouldn't have so many secrets between us," Venom said materializing one of his hands on Eddie's shoulder, to give him some comfort
"Promise you won't get angry?" He asked sounding insecure
"Hum, sure" Venom answered not knowing where that came from
"So… I've been…Oh mine, how do I even say this? I looked it up online… I've been feeling very dysmorphic about my body. Don't make it bad ok? I like what we can do together, but… I'm just not used to see myself like this… I look at myself in the morning and I see something... and mid-afternoon I look again and I'm sure I'm different. My perception of my entire body is very messed up, I feel like I can't trust my senses about it anymore. I'm constantly afraid of eating too much and getting some health problem for that and also maybe eating too little and damaging the two of us. Like, yesterday in the morning I looked at my arm and touched it. And before lunch, I did it again and it looked thinner and when I took a shower I swear it looked bigger than in the morning. This… this is just confusing Venom. Even with all this checking, I don't know if I'm just freaked out or if it's true. Sometimes I look at my reflection and don't recognize myself instantly, it's familiar, but not instantly me"
"You're having nightmares about it too?" Venom asked
"I had them before we became one… but sometimes… I dream we are fighting someone or something and I'm expecting you to heal us and do your thing, but suddenly you're not there and I just bleed to death or get really hurt or lose a limb because I'm not fast enough or strong enough by myself" he said while his voice failed on those last two words. He missed crying, he didn't allow himself to since Venom was there, but some tears were betraying him
"Oh, Eddie" he said while materializing a thin torso, arms and his head behind Eddie. He saw humans hugging before, so he tried to cross his arms around him for a while
"You're… hugging me?" Eddie asked in disbelief but also lightning up with the possibility, smiling weakly in the corner of his mouth
"Am I doing this right?" Venom asked as softly as his hoarse voice allowed
"Yeah, that's the best alien hug I've ever received" he answered laughing a little in the end
"Do you feel better?"
"Yes, I just wanted you to say something about it too," Eddie said, Venom's reaction to this was very important to him
"I'm upset I'm causing you discomfort with your body. I didn't know this could be a thing, I've had other hosts but they didn't survive so long to feel this way. I think we can practice outside more, I can say to you what I'm about to do, maybe than you know what to expect"
"That would help a lot" He admitted
"And Eddie… Don't be afraid I'll leave you to die, I won't. You're a good host, but you're not just that, I don't want anything bad to happen to you"
Eddie felt his heart a bit tingly after listening to that. He was afraid of Venom sometimes, he felt like a discardable vessel that he could simply grow tired of and leave without explanations. Had been some time he didn't feel someone cared for him for real.
"I care about you too, Venom. I'm struggling, but I like to have you here with me. I'll manage, just give me some time" he said in an apologetic tone
"Ok, just don't starve me" he hissed playfully
"I'll try, but we are not eating random people in the streets ok? So stop staring at them" he said giggling
"You're a pussy… but so you know, I wouldn't eat your liver, you were making me nervous, didn't mean it"
"Shut up, parasite… but yeah, good to know"
Author's note: So, brace yourselves 'cause the alien gay symbiotic sex with some good kink is about to happen and you don't wanna miss this one up ;)
