It all belongs to SM. I am lucky to dabble with them.
Happy Saturday, Everyone!! I thought we could use a little Edward POV today, so that's just what I put together for all of you. This chapter is a little shorter than the first, but that's only because the next chapter has some really great goodies in it. It's not finished yet, but it's looking great so far -- the girls steal Bella and the guys take Edward out for the day. Fun stuff, especially with Em around! But that's next Saturday. For this one, enjoy some sweet Edward ...
Can I Compare?
Edward's POV:
Can a man compare to a dream? Can I compare? Even with my "dazzling" skills, as Bella calls them, can I ever match up to the husband she dreamed of for months?
She has told me many times that she doesn't care about the dream because the reality is sweeter for her. Jasper assures me she has been completely honest in these moments and has not been trying to appease my worries … But still I wonder.
It was easier when I only had to live up to Romeo's standard. He'd done so many things wrong that I was sure I could never screw up as badly as he had. I'd been a fool to think I knew everything just because I'd been walking the Earth for more days than Bella could imagine, and I'd made Romeo's mistakes look like grand gestures of love compared to the havoc I'd wrought on our lives.
When Bella had forgiven me on our return from Italy, accepting me completely with all of my many flaws, I'd thought I was in the clear from high standards I could never meet. And then she'd spent months in a coma, dreaming of an Edward who was always romantic, who knew all the right things to say, and all the right ways to touch her heart and her body. Now, she was awake and left with me, a vampire who felt increasingly more like an inexperienced seventeen-year-old than a century old man.
"I know that crease," Bella whispered as she lifted herself up on her elbow in the early morning light.
I smiled and tucked a lock of her hair behind her delicate ear. I'd been hoping she would wake on her own; I hated to disturb her when she was actually sleeping peacefully. Those times were growing more frequent, but she still had her nights when she woke in cold sweats, dreaming of the Volturi attacking us. We were all doing our best to assure her that would never happen, and she had finally stopped asking Alice to check on them every day, though I could tell she still worried over it.
"How can you know the meaning of a crease?" I questioned.
"I observe," she smirked. "When it's high up here on your forehead, you're worrying over some piece of music that's giving you trouble," she explained as she trailed her fingertip over my skin. Her warmth burned a trail across my forehead, leaving me wanting more of her touch.
"When it's settled right above your eyebrows, making it seem like your entire forehead is frowning, you're worried for someone you love," she said, ghosting her fingers over my eyebrows. "Usually me," she added with a small smile.
"And when it's right here in the middle of your forehead, with this tiny line above it, you are over-thinking something." This time, she used her lips, kissing the entire length of the line. "And with the wedding only one day away, I would bet you're fretting over my coma dream again."
I pulled her into my arms, touching my forehead to hers and staring right into the chocolate eyes that always opened her heart to me, even when her words couldn't. "I can't help but to be concerned. I never want you to have regrets and I can't see a way that I can measure up to him."
Love and amusement filled those deep brown orbs and I couldn't for the life of me figure out what she found amusing about all of this. But instead of saying anything, I waited patiently, knowing she would explain herself.
Her hand tenderly caressed my cheek, her eyes never leaving my face. "My silly vampire. You are him. No, I take that back. You're better than him. He could only love me in the ways that I could imagine. But you, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen … You love me with your whole heart and soul. As much as we've been through, it's still only been a short time so I know I've only seen a small amount of the love you're capable of showering me with. I know there is so much more to come and I'm excited to experience it all. I have never, and I will never, compare you to the man I dreamed about. So for both of our sakes, please stop comparing your own self."
I couldn't help the smile that took over my face, nor would I be able to remove it or stop Emmett from teasing me about it, but I didn't care. She loved me just as I was, for better or worse, and that was something I'd never dared to hope was possible.
"Feeling better?" she chuckled as she tilted her chin up and brushed her lips to mine.
"Much," I agreed before giving her a real kiss. Spending these last few months with her waking in my bed, in my arms, had been indescribable. She'd been right to insist that we spend every moment together, not wasting any or taking them for granted. Charlie had not exactly agreed with that thought, but he'd been so happy to have Bella back that he'd barely put up a fight over it. And since we visited him nearly every single day, he didn't think he had anything to complain about.
That would change soon, though. We were moving to Alaska right after the wedding for Bella's change and to help her through her first year. She had been as honest as she could be with Charlie, telling him that she was taking the year off to experience life and would attend college a year later than she had originally planned. I wasn't sure if she'd actually be ready that soon, but since she was constantly surprising me, I chose not to worry about it until we came to that bridge. The calming effect that this woman had on me was amazing and surpassed Jasper's powers. I was so happy to have her back that I could rarely be annoyed these days, much to Emmett's chagrin. Though, I had to give him credit for never giving up.
Bella's hand running through my hair brought my attention back to her. "So, Chef Cullen, what's on the menu for my breakfast this morning? And keep in mind that if the word 'healthy' or 'Alice' ends up in your sentence, you will have a very perturbed fiancee on your hands."
I chuckled at her annoyance over Alice's attempts to force Bella onto a health food regiment, and kissed her nose softly. "I was thinking blueberry crepes would make your taste buds happy."
"They're practically singing right now," she chuckled.
"I'll go down and prepare them while you get ready for our day."
"What are our plans?"
I wanted to keep her surprise a secret for a little longer, so I gave a generic answer. "We have nearly the whole day to ourselves until tonight when our guests arrive for the rehearsal dinner. Esme is very excited to show off her cooking skills and Emmett is quite proud of his assistant position."
"As long as Emmett won't be saying 'hello' while waiving a large knife like he did to me."
"No," I chuckled. "And I also promise that Rose will not break any salad bowls this time."
"I feel so awful that you're all going to have to eat tonight," she sighed, remorse filling her beautiful brown eyes.
"Don't, Bella. It's necessary and not all that bad. Besides, we have enough tricks that we won't have to swallow much of it at all."
"Well, I still feel badly and I'm telling you right now that I'm going to be at your side, taking care of you for the whole time your sick."
"My own private nurse," I teased as I kissed behind her ear. "I like the sound of that."
"Don't get too excited there. It doesn't come with costumes or promises of rewards."
"Having you with me is reward enough, Love."
Bella's eyes filled with amusement as she valiantly fought the urge to laugh. But the need was too strong and the damn burst wide open, sending her peeling laughter ringing through the house.
'What's Edward done this time?' Rose mused. 'I'm sure it's something pathetically sweet.'
'Damn, I didn't know little Bella could be that loud.' Even Emmett's thoughts had a chuckle to them.
Jasper's thoughts were merely a confirmation of what I already knew. 'Whatever you said, she's highly amused.'
'Careful, Edward," Alice cautioned. "She'll roll off the bed in her fit if you don't keep an arm around her waist.'
'Oh, lovely! Bella's awake!' Esme gushed. Only my mother could gush as much with her thoughts as in person. 'Edward, are you bringing her down soon?'
There were no thoughts from my father since Carlisle had left for the hospital an hour ago, and our guest this morning couldn't possibly hear Bella's laughter from the kitchen.
I playfully growled against Bella's neck as I pulled her closer. "Did you hear what happened to the little human who laughed at the vampire?" I asked. Never in my life would I have believed for a second that I would one day make jokes like this, but here I was doing it for Bella and enjoying it with her.
"No," Bella snorted. "But if he was half as silly as you are, then she probably just laughed herself to death."
"She never got the chance," I said, forcing myself to sound solemn. And then I lifted her from the bed quickly, making her squeal. "He got his revenge by taking her downstairs with her haystack hair on display for all to see and she died of embarrassment."
"Is that the best you got, Cullen?" she chuckled as she wrapped her arms around my neck. "My unruly hair has made its presence known around here enough times that I don't even blush about it anymore."
"And here I'd thought you'd never grow out of that blush," Renee chuckled as I set Bella down in the kitchen.
"Mom!" she squealed as she ran to her mother. "What are you doing here? I thought you weren't getting in until late tonight!" Bella was so excited she was actually jumping up and down as she hugged her mother.
Renee pulled back enough to get her hands up, using them to smooth down Bella's hair. "Edward thought it might be a good idea for Phil and me to take an earlier flight and get in a little extra time with you."
"I'm so happy to see you," Bella sighed as she hugged her mother tightly once again. She looked at me with love and adoration in her eyes, mouthing a "thank you" to me.
Bumping up the flight had been a small gesture on my part, but carried enormous weight and meaning for Bella. She'd wanted extra time with her mother but had been too worried of hurting anyone's feelings to ask. So I'd given it to her, knowing it would please her and make her happy. While I might not be able to compare to the man she had spent so much time dreaming of, I would be the one to make her reality perfect, starting with everything about this wedding.
"Mom, I'm so glad you're here," Bella said as they sat together at the table, still holding hands. "Maybe you can help rein Alice in just a tiny bit."
"Oh, no," Renee laughed. "There's no calming that girl." 'You'd think it was her own wedding,' she finished with her thoughts.
"Bella," Alice pouted, barely moving slow enough to be considered normal. "Please say you're only pretending."
"Bella, lie if you have to," Rose begged as she sauntered into the room. "Alice is becoming increasingly more unbearable as she counts down the seconds before the wedding."
I chuckled at my sisters, pleased to see Rose making an effort with Bella. I knew they were a long way from where Bella desired, but it was getting a little better with each passing day. Bella's adamant refusal to allow Rose to sit out of the wedding planning had been just the thing Rose needed to take Bella seriously about them having a better relationship.
"Good morning, Edward," Esme whispered as she kissed my cheek. "How are you feeling this morning?"
"Nervous and excited, the same as yesterday," I chuckled, pulling out the things I would need to make breakfast for Bella and her mother.
"Tomorrow night the two of you will be married," she sighed with a huge smile on her face. "I'm so very happy for both of you."
"I just hope the weather holds out the way Bella wants it to."
"I'm sure it will all be perfect. Oh, and your father wanted me to tell you that the outdoor heaters will be delivered today at three o'clock. Please make sure someone is home to sign for them."
"Why? Where will you be?"
"Renee is going to take my car and spend the morning with Bella before joining your sisters and me in Port Angeles for lunch."
"You're stealing my fiancée away for the day?" I asked, lifting an eyebrow at my mother. That had not been mentioned to me previously and I hated being left in the dark on anything concerning Bella.
"Not stealing, Dear," Esme chuckled as she pressed her palm to my cheek. "Merely borrowing. And we promise to return her to you in plenty of time for tonight's rehearsal dinner. Besides you will be busy with other plans today."
I didn't like the sound of her "other" at all, and my suspicions grew immediately when she started to recite the history of the blue rose. Esme had grown a batch in the greenhouse specifically for Bella to carry in her bouquet tomorrow night, and in order to make sure they came out perfectly, my mother had read everything she could get her hands on in regards to the delicate flower.
"Well, I'll just leave you to make breakfast while I join the girls in their chatter," Esme said before rushing off to join the others.
I surveyed each of the women at the table and then stared hard at Alice until she lifted her face toward me. I pointed the whisk in my hand at her, not needing to use actual words to get my warning across to my sister. Alice's response was to smirk and jump right back into the conversation she'd been having with Renee. My family was once again up to no good. If I hadn't been so positive it was all meant to make Bella happy, I would have tried to find out exactly what was going on. But since I knew my family only had the best of intentions, I focused on cooking breakfast for my love.
I would only get to make her a few more meals before she'd never have a need for food again. I waited for guilt, remorse, or horror to fill my heart, but the only emotion there was excitement. Excitement for the future that lay ahead of us and the opportunity for me to finally hold Bella the way I'd always wanted to—to show her with my touch how much I loved and desired her. Very soon she would truly be my Bella in every way possible and I was ready for it now.
'Edward, as soon as you're done with Bells' breakfast, get your prude ass ready to go,' Emmett demanded, making his thought extremely loud in my head. 'There's an entire women-free morning ahead of us and I'm ready to get started.'
While I might be ready for tomorrow and the three days that would follow it, I was not ready for spending a morning alone with Emmett and Jasper. There was no telling what my brothers had in store for me, especially since they'd both been singing cheesy pop songs in their heads for the last three days. I could only hope it wouldn't end with anyone in jail.
