Author's Notes: Next chapter will take longer to upload. If it's not up in a month, someone kick me.
Expect spoilers for manga. If you've not caught up to the grand unveiling of Akatsuki's leader's abilities and don't want to be spoiled, don't read.
Again, much love to my beta, The Sometimes Hatter. You rock my fuzzy socks off.
One wild night (blinded by the moonlight)
One wild night (24 hours of midnight)
One wild night (I stepped into the twilight zone
And she left my heart with vertigo)
One wild, one wild, one wild, one wild night
-"One Wild Night", Bon Jovi
Friday rolled around faster than anyone could have predicted.
Sasuke wasn't sure whether to feel worried or happy about the fact. The past two weeks had not been easy.
Naruto would not stop flirting with Sakura.
"So how did you get into this business?"
"I always had good aim. My shishou found me when I was twelve and trained me."
"Training, huh? I'll help you train anytime."
Or-
"What's there?" he asked, pointing to a large suitcase.
"An assault rifle."
"Really? I have one too. Want to play with it?"
Or-
"Hey, Sakura? Will you be the mother of my children?"
Sasuke discovered he was quite the sadist as he enjoyed the beatings Sakura gave Naruto for his more daring comments. Especially as the pink-haired girl was a lot stronger than she looked; only Naruto's ability to heal quickly saved him from looking like a black and blue blow-up doll. The tan proved a hard hue to hold on to. The brunet, however, began to suspect that Sakura wasn't as bothered as she appeared, especially since the mother-of-my-children comment only earned the blond a sock to his stomach and a slight upward twitch to Sakura's lips.
Asking Naruto to stop was like talking to a wall.
"Aww! Is Sasuke-chan jealous?"
Sasuke was about to kill him.
Kakashi proved to not be much better. He skillfully evaded all of Sasuke's questions regarding his past and his connection to Naruto. Moreover, the man never put down his erotic novel. When his three younger teammates began acting up, he would just glance over his book lazily.
"Maa, take it easy. No need to act up."
Usually, however, he would just ignore the others. He would giggle to himself from behind his book, effectively scaring his younger companions.
"Same thing happens with Jiraiya." Naruto dropped his voice to a dramatic whisper. "The porn speaks to him."
Taking a good look at the rag-tag group, how unprofessional they all acted and the clear lack of teamwork, Sasuke was truly regretting ever agreeing to Naruto's insane scheme.
oOo
"Everyone knows their position, right?" Kakashi glanced at the other three. Sakura was flexing her hands inside her black leather gloves. Naruto was still for the first time in two weeks and Sasuke was solemn, hands in his pockets. All four wore identical black pants paired with a grey vest. Sasuke was glancing curiously at the black flame tattoos, which matched Naruto's gracing Sakura's and Kakashi's shoulder. "Good. These are your voice-changers and your masks. I'm sure I don't need to remind you that you are not to remove these masks under any circumstances."
As Kakashi handed out the masks, he saw Naruto frown in distaste at his.
"You should have known you'd be getting it back," drawled Kakashi. "Goes with the uniform."
Naruto's look darkened in fury and Kakashi could have sworn he saw a familiar cruel red glint in their depths. Sasuke's dark head shot up, eyes narrowing in question as they flickered between his yellow-haired lover and the grey-haired man. Sakura glanced at the blond's mask.
"A fox," she observed simply. "It suits you."
Naruto looked like he was about to argue, but thought better of it. Kakashi watched with interest as Sasuke's black eyes focused on the blond. Uzumaki was going to be in for one hell of an interrogation later. The older man almost felt sorry for him.
Almost.
oOo
Their contact in the bank proved to be a man around Sakura's age with brown hair done up in a short, spiky ponytail. It reminded her of a pineapple. Just as Sasuke predicted, he left the back door open for them.
Literally.
Shikamaru, or so he had introduced himself, had snuck Naruto and Sasuke inside, lazily waving them in the direction of the vault. Kakashi was already on the roof, manipulating the camera feeds and alarms. She was waiting in the armored Gallardo Naruto had somehow found for them. Later, she would have to question the obnoxious blond; he was too well connected and that ANBU tattoo wasn't a design you wore for kicks. At the moment, however, she tapped a cheerful beat against her thigh with a gloved finger.
A crackle at the headphones she wore interrupted her song.
"Showtime," Kakashi said cheerfully. He was probably reading his novel again.
"I hear you," she answered and opened the door. She jogged lightly up the steps and confidently strode through the doors.
The weight of the .45 USP in her hand was comforting.
Green eyes hidden behind her mask narrowed. Three guards, twelve tellers, approximately thirty clients. Three silenced gunshots rippled through the air. The three guards collapsed immediately. It was so fast and so quiet most of the people did not understand why she was masked or why she held a sleek dark gun in one hand. When she pulled out the other gun, her favorite M4, and fired a warning shot, they finally screamed, throwing themselves on the floor without her needing to say anything. One of the tellers dashed for the back door. His shoulder exploded in red.
"On the ground!" she called out clearly. Her voice was deeper than usual due to the voice modifier, but it sounded natural. Her boots clicked delicately against the polished marble floor. "And shut up! Anyone else tries to move and I'll shoot to kill."
A couple more strategically placed shots in the arms and legs of the more daring members quickly hushed any sign of rebellion.
She saw Shikamaru lying at the closest computer to her and pointed to him. "You. Oy, pineapple head!"
The man continued to feign unconsciousness. A shot to the floor next to his ear had him jumping to his feet.
"I'm making a withdrawal," she crooned.
"What?" he feigned idiocy. Sakura aimed between his eyes.
"Money," she stated succinctly. "Now."
He nodded nervously. He tried to stand, but his legs wouldn't support him. He fell with an over-exaggerated cry. Sakura was about to smack him for his over-the-top acting.
However, she knew he needed to delay. Their interaction was a façade, designed to keep attention riveted on them—and away from the two men breaking into the main vault.
oOo
Naruto and Sasuke slunk through the halls. The first cameras they noticed made them pause before trusting Kakashi to have disconnected them.
"Are you sure it's this way?" Naruto asked for the sixth time in five minutes. Stealing was supposed to be exciting. All he felt, however, was a hollow twist to his stomach. He didn't even feel righteousness or satisfaction.
Sasuke barely controlled the urge to bash his partner's head in with his own mask. To his joy—and Naruto's prolonged life—the vault came into view.
"Hurry up, Fox."
Sasuke could just imagine Naruto's glare at the codename.
"Yeah, yeah, Cat."
Naruto dropped the bag he carried at Sasuke's feet. From the holster strapped to his leg, he withdrew an N92. Its weight was strange after so many years, but still manageable.
"What are you doing with a gun?" Sasuke eyed the weapon askance.
"I'm standing guard."
"When did you learn how to use one?"
"Oh, well, you know." Naruto laughed nervously. "Hurry up, bastard."
"You're not getting out of this. We're discussing this later."
"Yes, wife."
The comment earned Uzumaki a solid blow to the head.
While Naruto kept a close eye on the hall, Sasuke opened the bag. Remembering Kakashi's instructions, he quickly pieced together an instrument Kakashi had affectionately nicknamed Chidori. It looked like a cross between a high-powered rifle and a field telescope. He connected the tip to the door. Turning on the attached computer, he quickly verified the numbers projected onto the screen.
"Dog, this is Cat. We're ready."
"Sending Slug in now."
Not even a minute later, the two men heard the unmistakable sounds of gunshots and quickly hushed screams.
"You need to learn how to be forceful like her." Naruto grinned. "Useful when you're riding."
Sasuke was sorely tempted to stab him with Chidori.
Turning back to his work, he switched on the machine. As its name suggested, the sound of thousands of twittering birds filled the area. Blue electric light surged down the barrel and to the door. There was a series of low clicks as the electricity reversed the lock's paths, opening them. When the sounds died down, he tugged on Chidori, pulling the thick door with it. He disconnected the machine, hands trembling faintly in excitement. Naruto rushed inside, already opening a nylon bag and shoving stacks of bills inside. Once Chidori was properly packed away, Sasuke ran into the vault to help his partner. Between the two of them, they filled seven bags. When Sasuke tried to lift one, he was surprised by how heavy it was.
"At least ten million," the blond sighed happily. Hidden by his mask, Sasuke afforded himself a victorious smirk. Naruto jumped him, slinging one arm jerkily around his neck. He crowed happily.
"Come on, idiot." Sasuke's tone was warm. "Let's haul these out."
oOo
Turning his one visible eye lazily to the bank across the street, Kakashi patted the FAMAS slung across his lap. A laptop lay on the ground beside him, feeding him live images of the bank inside. His novel burned a hole in his bag. Jiraiya had given him the third installment before it even reached shelves and he was dying to know what happened next. Unfortunately, he had to babysit first.
Kakashi sighed.
Seeing movement below, he spotted an armored van approach the back of the bank, an armored Lamborghini following. With a series of keys, Kakashi redirected the cameras feed, freezing on the image of an empty back alley. Naruto and Sasuke were now invisible. He repeated the movements with the cameras inside the bank. The screen split and Kakashi could observe the camera feed the guards would be receiving and, opposite them, what was actually occurring. He watched Shikamaru casually stride through the walls, hands in his pockets. He opened the backdoor, waving the two masked figures jumping out of the van over. Then he retraced his steps, still ridiculously calm.
Kakashi felt he could connect with that one.
While Naruto and Sasuke ran inside, Sakura drove the Superleggera around the bank, parking near the front.
Now, that was a pretty car. Especially with the modifications made to it.
He waited quietly, almost bored, and was about to remove the novel from his bag when he heard Sasuke's disguised voice through the headphones.
"Dog, this is Cat. We're ready."
"Sending Slug in now."
Switching to Sakura's frequency, he smiled. "Showtime."
"I hear you."
Sakura opened the door, leaving the car on. She disappeared inside the bank and flitted into Kakashi's monitor.
She really is scary, Kakashi mused as Sakura singlehandedly brought those present under control. What has Tsunade been teaching her?
Simultaneously, Sasuke was opening the vault and Naruto was running inside. They had one minute before they had to clear out.
The numbers counting down on his computer screen were there for show. The huge blinking red made him feel like he was in a movie.
The moment he saw Naruto and Sasuke were done, he quickly contacted Sakura. "Wrap it up."
Sakura reached over to grab the bag Shikamaru had half-filled with petty cash. Kakashi noticed one man getting up. A disguised guard. Quickly cocking his gun up, he took careful aim through the high windows of the bank. A splash of red revealed that he'd managed to shoot the hand reaching for the man's gun.
On the monitor, Sakura didn't even bother turning. She seized the bag and ran out. Naruto and Sasuke had already jumped into the van and were driving away. Kakashi casually packed his computer and gun. He fished a wireless detonator out of his holster and pressed the button. Immediately, all the bypasses and cables he'd snuck into the bank earlier to hack it exploded, taking out most of the building's electricity with it. Slinging a hook against the roof's raised edge, he swung down just as Sakura parked beside his building's curb, the passenger door already open.
"Well, that was fun." Kakashi smiled. Sakura had discarded her ANBU mask. He nodded to the bag next to her. "Are you going to add that money to the rest?"
Sakura scoffed. "Of course not. That's my bonus."
oOo
Naruto and Sasuke were screwed. Like, really screwed. Going-to-prison-if-caught kind of screwed. There wasn't capital punishment for stealing, was there?
But Naruto could not hide his glee at knowing he and Sasuke had pulled the biggest heist in, well, ever.
The blond was still riding the high provided by the looks on the bank owner's faces. Sasuke still couldn't believe what he had just done. Turning to look at the other man, Sasuke had the impression that this wasn't Naruto's first theft…although perhaps the first of such magnitude.
Yet another thing he would have to ask Naruto about. Despite the obnoxious blonde's inability to hide his emotions and need to broadcast everything that happened to him, he had proven in a matter of days to have a past Sasuke could never have imagined.
It irritated him to tell the truth.
Glancing at Naruto's open face, the almost childish joy illuminating his features, Sasuke figured it was better to leave that line of questioning for later. For now, he settled for watching the changes in Naruto's grin and counting the money in the back of the van.
"How much?" Naruto asked, twiddling with the car's wheel. He had been asking every five minutes for the past hour.
Instead of huffing and hitting the other man as he had before, Sasuke smirked. "How much do you think?"
Naruto scrunched his forehead, lips pouting adorably. "Ten million?"
Sasuke's smirk widened. "More."
"Twenty."
"More."
"Thirty."
"More."
"More?"
"Hn."
"Fifty?"
"53.7."
The smile that spread across Naruto's face was absolutely gleeful. He whooped, completely ignoring the car as he grabbed Sasuke's head, pressing their lips together.
"Naruto! The road!" Sasuke gasped against his mouth, grabbing the wheel and jerking the car back into the lane. They narrowly avoided a madly honking truck heading in the opposite direction.
Sasuke massaged his temples, figuring that pressing his hand against his heart would earn him a mocking for "being a girl". Naruto was still yelling in joy, leaning against the horn and generally being as loud as he possibly could.
Grabbing the wheel, Sasuke jerked Naruto to him, kissing him until he calmed down. When he let go, Naruto's gaze was dazed and Sasuke had to fiddle the wheel a little longer until Naruto came to.
"You remember the directions, right?" asked Sasuke as Naruto appropriated the wheel.
"Of course I do," he huffed. "How much goes to Kakashi and Sakura?"
The brunet did the math mentally. "They and Jiraiya get 5,370,00 each."
"Shikamaru?"
"1,611,000."
"So how much does that leave us?"
"35,979,000."
"Seriously?" Naruto's eyes widened comically. "That little?"
Sasuke's arched an eyebrow. "That little?"
"Well, yeah, compared to fifty million."
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Just keep driving, dobe."
oOo
"All right, boys, we've got a robbery."
"Big fucking whoop," Hidan muttered under his breath. His partner, Kakuzu, smartly smacked him upside his head.
"Of what, Yahiko-sama?" Sasori rested his boyish face on his palm.
"Over fifty million dollars." Yahiko turned to face them, orange hair highlighted under the fluorescent lighting.
"Fifty million?" Kakuzu repeated. Hidan rolled his eyes.
"Of course," he muttered to himself. "He doesn't give a flying fuck about Jashin-sama's teachings, but he gets off to motherfucking money."
Kakuzu had an image—as brief as it was enjoyable—of him ripping Hidan's heart out and making him watch as Kakuzu fed it to dogs.
"Hidan, settle down," Yahiko reproached. Tobi cackled.
"Hidan-san got scolded! Haha-urk!" Eyes wide, Tobi ducked behind Zetsu at Hidan's dirty look.
"If you're done…" Yahiko trailed off delicately, but his impassive look promised future pain if they didn't settle down.
"Details?" Kisame decided to turn the conversation onto safe matters.
"Ame First Bank was hit around noon today," Yahiko began. "It proved to be a mob bank."
"An opposing group?" Deidara casually blew his blond bangs away from his face.
"According to eyewitnesses, ANBU was responsible."
"ANBU?" Sasori repeated. "Konoha's elite? I thought they died down after their leader was killed."
"Further investigation is required, but it seems they're alive and well."
"Anything else?" Kakuzu tapped a pencil against his desk rhythmically.
"The robbery was almost perfect. One member held the bank at gunpoint, threatening one teller, while two accomplices emptied the vault. The robbery of the vault itself wasn't noticed until several hours later. Cameras were effectively knocked out, as were almost all electronic devices. Only one thing was left behind." Yahiko raised a plastic bag with an odd necklace inside. It was a simple string with a series of hollow circles cutting the cord at regular intervals.
Itachi, aloof until that moment, blinked. "May I take a closer look at that, Yahiko-sama?"
Yahiko held it out. Itachi stood gracefully, walking from his desk to the table. He carefully examined the object, feeling the texture through the plastic of the bag.
"You recognize it," Yahiko stated.
Itachi lowered his chin in the smallest fraction of a nod. "I made it several years ago. Gave it to my brother. Sasuke."
