~Chapter one~

"Jonathan Kent has just been elected-" the roar of the crowd drowned out the rest of the announcer's words as Martha turned and happily drew Jonathan into a hug. The people around them clapped and cheered and Clark smiled. He might have lived all this before, but that didn't stop him from feeling proud. Chloe hugged Mr. Kent next and turned to grin up at him. Clark smiled back as he clapped loudly.

Beside him Chloe looked around, her smile wavering as she turned full circle to survey the room, her expression turning to confused. Chloe turned back to face him, her eyes uncertain and Clark felt the panic grip his chest. They'd lost Lana...

"Clark, where's Lois?" She asked.

Clark froze, the blood draining from his face. She was supposed to be here. She had been here the first time around. "I don't -" he was caught off guard by a crackling noise and loud exploding sound. A split second later all the lights went out.

Chloe looked up at the ceiling, panic and terror evident in her eyes. Clark stared at her before turning and pushing trough the confused crowd and racing up the stairs. He could hear Chloe following him and his parents call his name but he ignored it.

His feet pounded loudly as he stumbled up the stairs and it took impossibly long to reach the top, but he could smell it. Burnt skin. He pushed the door open roughly, fear gripping his heart. "Lois!"
The floor was covered in water and he could see something behind the kitchen island. He ran towards her and felt his knees give way.

Behind him Chloe screamed.
It ran through him and echoed loudly in his head as he stared down at Lois.

Her head lulled to the side, he could see scorch marks where her arms made contact with the water. Her skin was a sickly shade of grey. Blood trickled out of her nose and ears. But it was her eyes that had made him collapse beside her. Her eyes were the reason he couldn't move.
They we're frozen open. But there was no light inside her hazel depths. She was dead.

Chloe kneeled on the other side of Lois. Tears dripping down her face, she was trembling all over. "Do something." She said hoarsely.

Clark looked up at her blankly. What could he do?

"Oh my God." Martha exclaimed in horror, as she and Jonathan finally saw Lois' prone form in the darkness. Chloe didn't seem to hear her at all. Her eyes focussed on Clark.

"Do something." She repeated desperately.

Clark didn't think he'd ever felt this helpless in his life. "I can't."

Chloe stared at him, her eyes begging. Then she turned back to Lois, turning her head and tucking it backwards. "You're gonna be okay Lois." She mumbled, pressing her hands against Lois' chest she began CPR.

Martha sunk down next to Chloe, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Chloe." she choked out, her voice constricted with tears. "It's too late, we can't-"

Chloe shrugged of the hand, continuing to press down until she reached fifteen and leaned forward to breathe for Lois. She straightened and once again began compressions.
"Clark can fix this." She said thickly through her tears.

Martha glanced up helplessly at Jonathan who looked equally distraught. "Sweetie." Martha put her arms around the young girl and Chloe paused. She drew a shuddering breath and pressed down once more before deflating into Martha's arms, sobbing hysterically.

Jonathan turned at the sound of whispers and saw that a crowd had gathered around the apartment door. "Call 911." He told them quietly, moving to shut the door. Lana pushed forward, confusion on her face and Jonathan let her in before closing the door resolutely.
He didn't think she should see this, but Lois had been her friend too.

"Mr. Kent what's going on?"

Jonathan closed his eyes at the question. What was going on? What was happening? Why was this happening?
Chloe's sobs rang loudly through the apartment and Lana whirled around, hurrying to her and froze at the sight.

Chloe looked up at her for a moment before she turned to regard Clark. "Fix this." She told him quietly. Clark met her gaze. His eyes leaking tears, his expression distraught but for once it did nothing to Chloe. She extracted herself from Martha and turned a withering look on Clark. "You did this. You changed things. So fix it."

Clark shook his head, "I can't," he repeated, "I only got once to go back. This is it."

Chloe stared at him. "No it's not!" She shouted desperately. "She wasn't supposed to die! You know that! She didn't die then, she can't die this time."

Clark shook at her words. She was right, Lois hadn't died he first time around. He turned to look up at Lana who was standing next to his father at Lois' feet. She was alive.

Chloe followed his gaze and stared at Lana. Her expression went from rage to despair in an instant and she released all her breath in wail. She collapsed completely and pulled Lois' body to her. Sobbing hysterically into Lois' shoulder….

Clark flew up in bed. His breathing laboured, his heart racing and he was drenched in sweat. He'd dreamt it again. He sat up slowly and pushed off the covers, swinging his legs over the side of the bed; he leaned his elbows on his knees and rested his head in his hands.

Chloe's sobs rang through his head. Her scream at the sight of Lois, her wail at the realisation that there was nothing he could do. Her eyes full of pain but devoid of any other emotion. It had taken the combined effort of Martha and Jonathan to pry Lois' body from her hands. The paramedics had wanted to take her to the hospital as well, stating she was in shock. She'd refused.

"The Fortress... Jor-El. He can do something. Ask him. Make him fix this." She'd hiccupped through her sobs.

He'd gone. Hoping against hope, he'd gone. But Jor-el had refused. "You knew a balance had to be made. I warned you a life would be taken. Told you this could be done only once. I am sorry Kal-El. You have made your choice."

And so he'd returned to the farm. Chloe was there waiting. Having refused to call the General, sure in her conviction that he'd be able to fix things. Her expression was a desperate hopefulness when he entered the kitchen.

He would never be able to forget her face when he looked her in the eye. It would be burnt into his memory forever. He couldn't speak. Couldn't tell her he'd cost her the person dearest to her. But she'd read it on his face, and hers had crumbled in response.

He'd failed her.

She ran from the house. He hadn't spoken to her since. She refused to see him. The funeral three days ago, was the first time since that night that he'd managed to even be near her and also the last.

Lana had stopped by, scared and confused and in need of answers. So he'd told her. He'd told her that she'd died. Because some one had to die in exchange for his life. That to save her he'd reversed time and Lois ended up dying. He'd walked away at that point. Leaving his parents to tell her the complete story while he hid away in his loft. Lana didn't come to see him when she left. He didn't care. She knew now. Krypton, alien heritage, powers, all of it. She knew he'd sacrificed everything for her. But she'd left.

The door to his room opened slowly and he dragged his head up of his clenched hands to look at his Dad. "Son, you should be sleeping."

Clark shrugged. "Can't." he replied quietly. "She's dead because of me. Chloe's a wreck because of what I choose to do. The General and Lucy. You and Mom." He dropped his head hopelessly. "I did this. I've caused all your pain. How am I supposed to live with that?"

Jonathan didn't know how to reply. So he clasped his sons shoulder and stayed quiet. "Go to sleep son." He told him after a moment. "There's nothing you can do about this."

It was hours later when Jonathans words still rang through his head. Clark surveyed his room. There was no going back now. He slung the duffel bag over his shoulder and closed the door. He made his way outside, pausing only to place his farewell letter on the table.

He couldn't stay here. Witness the people he loved grieve and suffer over a loss he had caused. So he would go.

"Running away Smallville?"

Clark froze. Spinning around quickly to survey the grounds. There was no one there. But he could have sworn he heard it. Her voice. He mentally shook himself. He couldn't have. He never would again.

He shouldered his bag more securely and regarded the farm once more. Taking a breath he sped off. Leaving his home behind.

~TBC


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