Yay, another chapter! Let me know if you see any mistakes. I don't own a thing mentioned below. Ask me if your confused. I feel like I left holes in this chapter.


Episode One: the List

Harry Potter woke up to the feeling of dread. Why? He couldn't say. Way to absorbed into making it to the showers, he didn't notice the pink spots on his pants. He made it to the shower without stumbling once, a feat he was proud of. Instead of heading straight to the shower however, he looked into the mirror and shrugged and wet his face.

He froze. Rubbing his eye (which were glasses less) he look into the mirror. And looked. He or as we are going to refer to him as she screamed, very high pitched. Her once short hair was about shoulder's length and very curly. Her beautiful glowing green eyes still glowed but her face held more subtle hints of her father being pureblood. All in all she looked like the child of both Lily and James Potter instead of just James.

She was a girl.

She heard the crashes of the other four boys sprang out of bed to see what was wrong. Harry would like to say he is a calm reasonable young man. However when you find yourself and your supposedly male roommates girls well...he was allowed to scream as loud as he, sorry, she wanted.

"AHHHH!!!!!!"

"What the-HOLY SHIT!"

"AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"

"You're a girl!"

"So are you!"

"AHHHHHHH!!!!"

"Slap!"

"AHHHHHH!!!!"

"STOP! THIS IS GETTING US NOWHERE!" Neville screamed as she tugged her own brown locks. Although he would never admit it, he kind of liked this new body. It was so...pretty.

"Neville is...you are Neville, right?" Harry asked sheepishly. Neville nodded. "Well anyway he-she, whatever is right! There is only one thing we can do at this point!" Harry said forcefully, looking at each and every single one of the former boys.

"Uh, mate where are you going?" Ron asked Harry as Harry started walking out of the bathroom.

"Yeah! What's the one thing we can do?" Dean asked her girlish voice shrill.

"Get dressed then run screaming from the common room for McGonagall." Harry said blushing trying to cover her bare chest.

Harry left the remaining girls blushing about their now realized state. Some things were going to have to take time getting used to.

Commercial Break

"Tired of Madam Malkin's dull boring robes? Come by to Lavender's-"

"Hey! Don't fast forward my commercial!"

"Lav, we can watch it any time. Right now we have this show to watch along with the destruction of our lives."

"Fine. Be that way."

End Commercial Break

"ALL STUDENTS PLEASE REPORT TO THE GREAT HALL!" a little more loudly the voice of Dumbledore added. "DON'T DO THAT!"

Obviously, whatever happened, Dumbledore didn't think it was too important to reverse the spell he used.

Nearly all the Ravenclaws, Hufflepuff, and younger Gryffindors and Slytherins listened in amazement. "I DIDN'T KNOW!" They heard Dumbledore screech.

Leaving the once proud wizard to his fate...

"I can't believe this!" The now male Hermione screamed as she patted her chest.

"Tell me about it!" Parvati growled. "Just when they were really starting to fill out too." she continued pouting making Hermione flinch.

"Parvati, I love you like a sister but for the love of God don't do that. It's disturbing." A deep, rough voice rumbled that sounded suspiciously like Lavender.

Hermione turned to snap at the other girl...boy and was encountered with the amusing site of man Lavender fighting with her small white cotton night gown that was ripped at the seams at some point. Hermione nearly screamed in horror when she realized that Lavender went to bed wearing a thong.

"Hermione! HERMIONEEEEEEEE!!!!!" Two girls (let's call them girls shall we? Makes things so much less complicated) screamed up the staircase.

Hermione frowned. Where had he heard those voices before?

"Hermione Granger! Get your bloody arse down here!" The deeper of the two voices yelled.

Oh. That's where he heard those voices before.

"Ronald! What have I told you about swearing like that!" Hermione yelled back down - leaving her dorm room. "And why can't you and Harry come up here?" he shouted after a thought or two about the stairs.

Hermione traveled the rest of the way to the staircase and nearly had a heart attack. There were his friends in the Hogwarts' uniform styled with the Gryffindor colors. Blushing, ever so slightly, Hermione could see why the boys always stared at the other fifth years girls when they forgot to where...uh support.

A permanent blush now staining his face, he took the stairs two at a time. Hermione blinked in a slow bemused way as the stairs continued to hold the original shape.

"Aw, hell." He heard who Hermione assumed to be Harry mutter as he finally reached the bottom.

"What was that Harry?" Hermione asked rasing an eyebrow.

Now usually when Hermione raised an eyebrow Harry and Ron started to cower. It had even been referred to as the 'Did-You-Just-Do-Something-Against-School-Rules' look by everyone in every House. Hell, it was the only look that made Ron and Harry look abashed anymore. But as I said usually.

"What's so funny?" Hermione snapped at the two giggling girls.

"N-nothing." The red head beauty (as much as it pained Hermione to admit to himself) gasped.

Shaking her head, the black haired beauty looked at Hermione with her big soulful green eyes. He only had a moment to catch his breath but Hermione for the first time realized what most of Hogwarts saw in Harry Potter. And of course why Ron refused to go out with anyone who wasn't part veela. Sure, personalities were fun and smarts were even better but sometimes Hermione could see how looks could make a day brighter.

Promptly, after making this revelation he hit both Harry and Ron with a roping charm.

Leaving our Gryffindor heroines and hero, we lurk to the dark dungeons where the Slytherins make their home. Where order and status means everything, chaos and reversed roles were in play.

"Oh my God!" Pansy screamed in a voice she knew for certain wasn't her's.

Pansy's scream was like the trusty Slytherin alarm. If some Gryffindor (coughtwinscough) were to find and prank the common room Pansy's shriek would resound off the walls. Nearly immediately, the common room was filled with Slytherins of all ages and genders came wands at the ready.

Where the expected they would have to do repairing charms and other spells of the like.

...Well, there was a lot of spell casting and a lot of sobbing and shouting.

Let's leave the Slytherins alone for now. Things often get bloody when one goes to bed in one body and wakes in a different one.

Now, I could go on how the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws were also cursed in similar likeness. But McGavin sold those copyrights to "What Really Goes On At Hogwarts" a few years ago. So, I can't tell you that but I can tell you most of the 'Puffs wouldn't leave their common room and the Ravenclaws were scouring the library.

Commercial Break

"Sick of the way the animals at the Magical Menagerie are tre-"

"Merlin Hermione! Do you ever take a break?"

"Have you seen the living conditions those animals suffer through?"

"You two shut the hell up. Thomas fast forward."

End Commercial Break

The Golden trio shuffled towards the Great Hall in humiliation. Hermione was dressed in Ron's robes since Ron and Harry were wearing Harry's. It was something Harry had always hated the Dursleys and their damn cupboard for. Really, you can't be the Wizarding world's hero if you were only 5"5. It just didn't project the right image.

"I bet you this was prank from the Slytherins!" Ron growled darkly as they fell back through the crowd.

"Er, Ron? Something tells me they had nothing to do with it." Harry said, her eyes wide as she watched a bunch of green wearing, hex throwing students stride by.

"What are you -" Ron stopped and stared at her classmates before sniggering.

The Slytherins looked at the Golden Trio with venom and in some a cool, collected mask of indifference. Hermione pinched the laughing girl before puffing up slightly. The only Potter blushed and started pulling on Ron's sleeve in order to try and shut her up.

She didn't know about Ron but she was really getting tired of blushing. She didn't need to add Slytherins to "The Many Things That Make Me Blush" list. It was long enough damn it!

"Let's just go the Hall, okay?" Hermione begged Ron and Harry misjudging the later's reddening face.

Together, the three managed to make it to the Great Hall without dying of humiliation.

...However the same can't be said for certain Slytherins.

"It was the Gryffindors! I know it!" Pansy muttered, his eyes narrowed and his lips curled into a sneer.

"As if those numbskulls have the brains to pull this off. It was most likely the Ravenclaws for was Daphne did to them last week." Draco scoffed.

"No, that's not possible, we made peace with them Friday." Blaise commented, a frown marring her pretty features.

Leaving the Slytherins, we shall see the younger Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs are making of this...unique situation.

"A galleon says the two houses hexed each other." A smirking Hufflepuff betted a Ravenclaw.

"Moron. It's more likely Hagrid let loose a siren or Snape tried to poison them all and got the bottles mixed up." The Ravenclaw sneered smartly.

Commercial Break

"Looking for a familiar? Come to Weasley's Breeding Cen-"

"I still can't believe Percy opened that place up."

"Me either. What could have possessed him?"

"Penelope made him."

"Oh, that explains everything."

"Doesn't it? Hey, Weasley are the men in your family wimps?"

"TAKE THAT-"

"Of course they are. It explains why he co owns a bookstore doesn't it?"

Dumbledore tried to relax in her seat but after the attack this morning...Madame Dumbledore had severely pissed off the whole teaching staff and was now terrified.

"Students, as you see your housemates or even yourself have changed. Do not panic this was all planned. No, this is not an evil plan from the Dark Lord. No, we do not know when you will regain your natural gender body back. Have a nice day in your classes. Further information will be announced as soon as we grab a hold of the ones responsible." Dumbledore said all this as quick as she could and then preceded to ru- swiftly walk from the Great Hall.

Outbreaks of chatter attacked the area. The one thing on everyone's lips was "What happening now?" Being the classmates of Harry Potter (or at least going to school with him), you were always briefed before you stepped out of your common room, "Freaky shit goes on, read ahead about shield and healing charms." So, none of the new changes of appearance were a real surprise. Most people were just concerned about the side effects.

"Let's go you two. We spent too long running around like headless chickens earlier this morning; it's time for Potions." Hermione sighed as Ron looked at her with bulging cheeks and Harry gazed at him with horror.

"I'mf ea'ing." Ron mustered as well as she possibly could.

On the other side of Hermione a crisis was being declared. "Snape's going to never let me live this down. I'mdead.I'mdead.I'mdead.I'mdead.I'mdead.I'mdead." Harry had taken up this mantra while banging her head on the table.

"I swear you two! Get up! Ron, just grab a muffin to take with you! Harry, Professor Snape is a professional; he won't kill you!" Hermione huffed in annoyance. "Up! We are heading to class now, end of discussion."

Ron and Harry looked at each other both their faces asking, 'What the hell?' The looked lasted up until Hermione started to breath heavily through his nose, sounding like an angry bull. So, the Trio trooped down to the dungeons for their Potions lesson; where else would such a story start?

Dread in one heart, frustration in another and in the last hunger; we find our heroes in the Classroom. Yes, the Classroom, for it's where Professor Snape handouts out threats of death daily and random explosions occur.

Like now...

"BOOM!"

"Today, we find ourselves in a...new predicament. I will not stand for you miserable wretches belittling your classmates." A soft voice hissed with enough venom to make a basilisk seem harmless. "Today, you will be doing group research on potions I will assign you. Pair yourselves up. If it gets any louder than a whisper in here I will take blood samples from you and turn you into something far worse than the opposite gender!"

Nearly at once, Snape's first potion's class of the day moved tables and formed groups. The class mixed of Slytherins and Gryffindors watched warily as Snape (the Potion Mistress) snarled as she threw the assignments at the many groups.

Many curious eyes followed their Potions Professor back to her desk. Many heads darted down when she started to talk to herself. They didn't want to get caught in the crossfire - this morning had held enough surprises.

Comemercial Break

"Are you worried about that special someone who seems to be showing the classic signs of old age? Say no more! Come and drop them off at the Creevy Brothers' Retirement Home!"

"I wish they had existed when we were in school. We could of dropped Dumbles off there."

"Crazy, barmy, senile bastard."

End Commercial Break

It was lunch. Thank all that pure and holy for that! Hermione mentally screamed. And thankfully, Dumbledore was making announcements!

"We have found those responsible and there is hope of returning yourselves to you natural bodies." Harry and the rest of the Great Hall felt their stomach drop. "I introduce Aries McGavin!"

The new comer stared and then suddenly smiled at all the students in the Great Hall. "I'm proud to announce your all a part of my new Crystal show! It's Slytherin v.s. Gryffindor and Ravenclaw v.s. Hufflepuff! Well, actually it's boys versus girls! To make quick work of the rules, your team and yourself must complete a list! The winning team is changed back into their gender however the losing team must remain the opposite gender for their remaing duration at Hogwarts! Here's the pamphlet on the rules and the list itself." Smiling coyly, McGavin continued. "Have funny kiddies."

With those world ripping words, McGavin portkeyed out before anyone could get their bearing. In fear, Harry reached for the pamphlet.

Rules:

Girls and Boys may not work together.
Outside parties are frowned upon but not against the rules.
Seeking to reverse the Gender Bending Potion itself is highly against the rules and will result in a Charms Mistress making the changes permanent.
No sharing your team list to the other team.

The List:

Wear proper specified gender clothing.
Crash a Muggle Party
Seduce a well renowned business man.
Convince the police you're willing to give them secret top secret photos.
Steal a pink diamond. - Without getting caught.
Re-act Snow White.
Dance on the Professors' Table at dinner.
Fail a sobriety test. Without drinking.
Receive a DUI without touching a car or drinking.
Be arrested by security guards at a mall.
Make a Hufflepuff punch someone.
Convince a Ravenclaw that the library is burning down.
Call the first years fresh meat then proceed to introduce them to the Forbidden Forest.
Tell people the Forbidden Forest is only Forbidden because that's where Dumbledore gets his lemon drops.
Steal Dumbledore's lemon drop and replace them with a different muggle candy.
Rush through the halls singing with flowers in your hair.
Offer to trade a sexual favor for a good grade in Potions.
Become a model.
Ask Madam Hooch if she's a were-falcon.
Talk to a reporter about how you just know so and so is so whatever.
Fail CoMC.
Kick Hagrid and tell him for all the stunts his pulled he's lucky it's not worse.
Walk on Hogwarts ceiling.
Jump off the Hogwarts stairs like a suicide jumper.
Kiss everyone who walks through the door at exactly 7:39 p.m. on Thursday for every Thursday.
Hold a tea party just for the Hufflepuffs.
Steal the Slytherin flag during lunch.
Tell Professor T. that you just had a vision...she's going to win the lottery in Vegas.
Make an army of some type of cute furry animal.
Kiss your enemy's female or male guardian.
Do something common but illegal.
Be the first to break the 'Marauders' prank record from all seven of their Hogwarts' years in a month.
Tell a first year Ravenclaw muggleborn the reason he/she is a witch/wizard is because their mother was having an affair, so really they're a half blood.
Try and warm up the dungeons.
Make up a new House.
Crash a wedding.
Become the next big thing.
Get your marriage annulled.
Break five federal laws.

Harry felt like crying.

"And so ends Episode One: the List! Next episode is Episode Two: the Feuding Armies! Wherein the two teams meet and move on with each other!"