Ouch.

Ouch doesn't even begin to describe it, he thinks to himself and leans back on the wall, his hand clumsily trying to alleviate the aching part.

Esther's pained growl is sound as she appears from the corner.

"How is it that I don't have balls yet somehow they still hurt?" she mutters as she half-limps to him and Killian stifles a laugh.

She rubs her head on his leg. "She's going to have to drink the potion," Killian says softly.

"I can't wait to see their reactions to me," Esther says, voice full of irony.

At that point they hear voices in the hallway. They decide to leave after them, having no idea when Emma and Henry might leave their apartment - they wouldn't want to appear as stalkers now, would they?

Killian remembers seeing all kinds of… peculiar people in the streets last time he was here, but still a man clad in black leather with a swan walking beside him looks out of place even for this city. Everyone who is not absorbed to small contraptions in their hands - and even some of them - stares at them both in confusion and surprise.

"Is it trained?" a woman asks enthusiastically as she approaches them.

"Uh… yes? She won't bite you, if that's what you're worried about." And not because of what you think.

"Oh, can I pet her?"

"No!" he answers way too fast and too loud, startling the woman. He takes a few quick breaths before he schools his features to something more neutral. "Sorry, it's…" He sighs. "She really doesn't like being touched by others."

The woman stares, however, at how his hand strokes Esther's head almost absent-mindedly. "But she likes your touch, uh?" To his relief, she only sounds innocently curious.

Killian nods.

"Can I take a picture with her? I've never been so close to a swan before!"

"Uh… But you won't touch her, right?"

"No, no, I'm just gonna take a selfie!"

Killian swallows hard. The more this woman talks, the more confused he feels. However, the woman simply takes a contraption - a talking phone, as he remembers - and stands next to Esther. Too close, Esther comments, but the woman makes sure to not touch her. The talking phone lights up, and a reflection of the woman and Esther appear on it, as if it's a mirror. Esther turns her head to it in surprise. The woman smiles at her reflection and the picture stands still for a few seconds.

She turns back to Killian. "Could you have her turn her head to the side?" she says, pointing, and Esther does so, partly confused. The woman gasps in shock. "Does she understand English?"

Killian mentally shakes his head. Too much information in such a short time.

English is probably how they call their language, Esther provides.

"Yeah," he says simply. "A little," he adds carefully, and the woman turns to the swan with her mouth still open.

"You are such a smart bird!" she says and turns to the reflection, this time pursing her lips and making a funny face at it. She then stands up and thanks them both, walking away excitedly.

Killian and Esther sigh at the same time. He takes a look around, and he sees more people staring at them, some of them holding their contr- talking phones in front of them as the woman did before.

"Come on," he tells her and urges her to walk on, away from prying eyes. That woman may have respected his wish to not touch her, but no-one here knows about the taboo to never touch someone's dæmon, and who knows when they'll bump into someone who won't respect Killian's wishes.

"I think you should fly away, dear."

No bloody way.

"Esther, I've lived long and the only person who dared reach out and harm you is now dead. I remember hearing about a big park with a lake here. You can fly there and rest until further notice. I'll have to stay here and wait for Emma."

But…

They both gasp and prepare to run when two children start running towards them, their parents in tow trying to stop them.

Point made, Esther thinks and runs forward, flying away. Let's hope no-one will attack me. Otherwise they'll eat my Dust, one way or another.

Esther, he stops running, looking at her as she gains height. I spent two centuries thinking you were anything but that. If you could never make such a joke again I'd be grateful.

She hangs her head low and looks at him from above. Sorry, she says with honesty.


I'm coming, dear. Is it too dark there?

Esther huffs. Not at all.

Killian cringes at her tone. Sometimes he forgets that she stopped being afraid of the dark when he did, and if he is honest with himself, he doesn't want to think a lot about the time she spent trapped in the dark.

He finds her cleaning her feathers right at the bank of the lake, carefully growling at any passers-by who come too close to look at her. It's good that dæmons cannot feel cold as much as humans do, or she would be freezing by now. However, he feels in his own body the warmth that spreads in her when he hugs her again. It will never not feel good.

They find a decent, quiet place to rest and lie down hugging each other. It feels only minutes after they fall asleep that they hear someone shouting at them.

"Hey, you! Pirate guy! Park's closed! And what are you doing with that swan?"

Esther stands up fast, wanting to avoid any accidental touch. Killian blinks a few times before he focuses on the tall man with a torch on his hand… and a gun on his belt.

"What?" Killian says wearily.

"Central Park's closed from 1 to 6 am. Didn't you see the signs? And where did you get that swan from?"

"She just followed me." Resigned, Killian stands up and puts his coat back on his shoulders. There's no reason to get in trouble while he's on a mission, so he dutifully walks to an exit.

We're gonna have to sleep on the streets, then?

I think it'll be better if you stay here, dear.

No.

Killian stops on his tracks and kneels down to look at her in the eye.

"You've seen how crowded this place is. Would you rather spend five hours away from me or risk being touched, or even taken away?" He always found that speaking out loud drove the point more quickly. Esther bows her head, muttering an Alright in her thoughts and walks to the lake.

He manages to sleep for a few hours, being jostled awake by random noises, other homeless people bumping into him and some of the fires burning too bright. As he leaves early in the morning, just a little before 6 am, he looks at the people around him and the weight of not having a home finally sinks in.

He has his doubloons, of course, and no doubt that the people in Storybrooke will be more accepting of them - provided they have their real memories - so finding a place to stay won't be too hard there. But nothing will be the same again without the Jolly Roger, his home for so long…

He shakes himself out of his sorrowful thoughts. He's on a mission.


It's not the first time he stays in a cell, but it's the first time Esther is not in there with him. He still misses her, knowing that her presence would bring some comfort, but he knows the police officers - or however they're called - wouldn't allow a swan in the brig with him. She leaves the water to fly high above the park, giving him some sense of freedom with her wings flapping in the air. Through her eyes, he sees how many people watch her in amazement, some of them probably never having seen a swan from up close before, and silently thanks her for giving him a mental boost.


"Hook."

He berates himself for having expected to see her happy. Instead, her voice is neutral, careful, almost cold. He can't blame her - she was just given a decade worth of memories she didn't know were real in just a few seconds, she's bound to be a little shocked - but his heart breaks a little further at her tone.

"Did you miss me?" he says, trying his damndest to put up a smile. Judging by her sad reaction, he fails miserably.

"What… what are you doing here? Where did you get the potion?"

"Long story. I assume the potion came from your parents."

"And they're back in Storybrooke? How?"

"No clue, love."

She takes a moment to let all the facts sink in, bowing her head and the knuckles on her hand going white with how forcefully she grips the vial.

"Wait," she says suddenly, her head jerking up. "Where's Esther?"

"At the lake in Central Park. Couldn't just follow me in the brig, could she?"

Her head turns to the direction the park is at. Amazing navigation, he thinks. Killian knows where the park is because he feels Esther's presence, but Emma simply knows the place well.

"Let's go get her. I'm sorry I had you split up." She turns her back at him, walking towards her yellow vessel.

"No need, love. You did what you thought was right."

When they finally reach the park, Emma appears worried.

"How exactly are we going to get her in? They'll think we're abducting her."

"But she'll be following us."

"Yeah, that's not how it works here. Remember, people here cannot even imagine what she is."

Killian sighs. "And it won't look more peculiar if they see a swan randomly flying across the city for a second time?"

Emma glares at him. "Fine. Go get her. Let's just hope no-one gets a video of that."

She is looking outside, appearing worried as Killian and Esther enter the vehicle.

"Hey," Emma says. "You alright?"

"Fine," Esther says cheerfully. "It felt a little strange, all those people throwing me pieces of bread as if I needed it."

"Wait… you can eat, right?"

"Aye, but there's no actual need for it."

"Hmm. Let's hope there wasn't any poison in them. You can never be sure here."

"You're worried about my swan, Swan?" Killian says.

Emma snorts.

So when are you going to tell her that dæmons don't usually talk to other people? And that there's a reason I'm willingly making an exception for her? Esther thinks.

To his dismay, he feels his cheeks flush, but Emma has already turned her gaze forward.


"I still can't believe it." Swan buries her fingers in her hair, anger making her body almost tremble. "A stupid flying monkey… of all things…"

"Perhaps he was actually human, just able to transform into one-"

"Walsh didn't have a dæmon. How is that possible?!"

"You don't have one either. There are a lot of exceptions."

Emma just huffs in frustration and he wishes he could comfort her further.

She spends a few seconds staring at Esther before she speaks again. "How did you hide her last night?"

"I didn't really hide," Esther replies for him. "I slept by the lake."

"And where did you sleep?" Emma turns to him.

Killian opens his mouth, but he just resorts to shrugging.

"Oh. Well, okay, you can both sleep here tonight… I'll wake you up next morning to leave before Henry comes."

Before they have a chance to say anything, she's disappeared in her room. Killian feels his shoulders sag, whether it's from exhaustion or general upset, he doesn't know. Esther jumps to his arms and he holds her tight, sitting down on the sofa. He can't complain, it's definitely more comfortable here.

But they'll be damned if they don't stare at her door until sleep claims them. Waiting for Emma to appear and tell them goodnight, to look at him with the same lust and grab his lapels and pull him in her bedroom…

And pet me, Esther provides.

"Shut up," Killian says tiredly but pulls her closer. It's not Neverland. She's not the same. We have to give her some time, more time.

Emma comes a little later to give them bedding and bid them goodnight. It's a good thing that emotions are not very clear on dæmons' faces, otherwise all the adoration Killian managed to mask would be evident on Esther's face.


Emma thrashes around on her bed. It's been a hell of a day and she finds herself unable to relax.

Fucking Walsh. For the first time in a decade, she thought she could really trust someone else besides Henry, trust them with her heart and the deeper thoughts even Henry couldn't bear… and it was all a lie, a big ugly lie.

A tear runs down her temple. Even the time with Henry is a lie. All those years she spent thinking she was a mother, all gone.

She startles when she hears the sound of someone whimpering. She jumps up and throws her comforter off, ready to run to Henry's room… until she remembers he's staying over at Avery's. She half-sighs in relief though her worry is not completely gone. She approaches the door and hears another whimper. Shit, could it be his?

She opens the door slowly, quietly. She peeks into the living room and there he is, lying on the couch, hugging his dæmon close and trembling. The swan is resting her head on his and also seems distressed as well, her feathers shaking slightly. Both their eyes are closed.

It's not the first time she sees him- them have a nightmare but it's the first time he looks so… pained. There's a distraught expression on his face and he keeps whimpering softly.

She should go and wake him up. He-They are probably dreaming about the time Esther was taken away, seeing it happen again… all Emma has to do is walk up to them and wake them up, get them out of whatever horrors they're seeing.

But it will be like an invasion of their privacy, won't it? Why should she risk him being angry at her for spying on him in the middle of the night?

She closes her door and rests her forehead on it. She thinks back to all the times she comforted Henry after a nightmare… all lies, all fake. Does she even really know how to help the pirate sleeping in her living room with that? Would she ever be capable of something as simple as that?

She lies down on her bed again and tries to ignore the soft whimpering from outside and the tears that run down her face.


"Alright, Henry will be here in ten minutes, you'd better get ready to… wait somewhere outside where he won't see you when he comes."

"When will we be leaving?"

"Very soon. It's already a long trip and there's no need to waste any time. Ehm… about… her..." she says slowly and points at Esther.

Killian looks at her perplexed.

"Don't you think it's better if we hide her?"

"Hide her? She's… quite big. Where?"

"In my trunk," Emma says hesitantly.

His eyebrows nearly reach his hairline. "You want to lock her in something that's worse than a cell? You do know she's not just an object?" Esther takes a step back, half hiding behind Killian's feet.

"It won't be that bad… I can put some thick blankets so she'll be comfortable…"

His expression starts to get angry. "She spent two centuries locked inside a dark cell. There's really no need for her to go through that again, even for such a short time," he says in a heavy voice and pets Esther's head.

Oops. She's struck the perfect chord that shouldn't be struck.

"Sorry," she says, though the thought that he hasn't yet thanked her for releasing his dæmon crosses her mind. "So she'll join us in the car, right?"

"Yesterday's ride proved that's feasible," he says, voice still heavy.

"Fine. But you'll be the one answering Henry's questions. Now go."

Henry doesn't disappoint.

"Wait. We're really going?" he says, reality finally sinking in.

Emma hands him his coat. "Yes," she says in an almost cold voice.

"Wow, wait, is that… a swan?" he says as Esther walks in from the entrance.

Oh, great. As if he couldn't tell her to stay downstairs…

"Aye, she's mine," Killian offers. "Her name is Esther. Esther, nod a 'hello' to the young sir."

Esther obeys, making Henry stare at her wide-eyed.

"So what, she's trained to listen to you?"

"Something like that."

"What are you, in a circus or something?"

"Uh… you can say that. It's not quite like anything you've imagined."

"And she's… docile? She won't bite or attack or just… fly away?"

"Nope."

Henry nods in amusement. "That's neat. Can I touch her?"

Killian doesn't mask his panic in time for Henry to not see it. "Uh… she'd rather you didn't," he says uncertainly, looking at Emma for help.

"Henry, it's not polite to just go and grab people's pets," Emma says.

"Will she bite?"

"No, no, you have nothing to fear from her," Killian says and moves a bit, providing protection for his dæmon.

"Henry, just don't touch the swan. Okay?"

Henry nods reluctantly, but keeps staring at Esther all the way until they've all entered the car. He also stares afterwards, just not all the time and he doesn't comment on her again. However, Emma catches him taking a few pictures with his phone while Killian isn't looking.

Killian falls asleep at some point. Emma looks at Henry through the rearview mirror, and assured that he is too absorbed in his music and his phone, she finally takes the good long look of the pirate she's wanted since she got her memories back.

She's got to admit, he's a little messier than she remembered. His hair is a bit more unkempt; which, considering that she mostly remembers them from Neverland, the fact that they're unkempt here is important. He also looks just a little thinner, and dark circles cover the skin under his eyes, and not the type that appears after only a day or two of bad sleep. His head is bowed forward and his jaw is relaxed, hand covering Esther's head whose neck is lain on his lap.

For the first time she allows herself to think about the hows and whys of him coming back for her. She bites her lip as she thinks that any answer to why he came back would not be received very well by her. If it's a trap and he's leading her right to it, they'll be in trouble, but at least she'll manage her feelings to that. If it's not a trap and he genuinely came back because he didn't stop thinking of her as he'd said… that would be hard for her to deal with.

It's then that Esther's words from Neverland hit her. She still remembers the casual way she asked her human if he'd be upset if Emma touched her. She still remembers how it made her almost panic and run like she was being chased away. If Emma thinks too much on it, and if she judges by the way Esther couldn't really stop looking her way yesterday...

So she doesn't. She turns her eyes back to the road and tries to drive all thoughts about him and his impossible dæmon away.