I do not own Harry Potter.
A/N: The first chapter to my story. From this point onwards, Ginny is freer around Harry. She is the Ginny we all know and love in book six. But – quoting Ginny in book seven – I show the part that "never truly gave up on him". Hope you enjoy it! I'll start on the second chapter and hope it will be uploaded soon.
One Year Later
Ginny was packing her bag, ready to leave for Hogwarts. It had taken a year, but it had finally been rebuilt.
She would be going back tomorrow. She was so full of zeal at the moment. Hogwarts was like her second home. She was glad she was getting another chance at her sixth year. She did not want to remember it the way it had been when it was under the control of the Death Eaters. It had become a school for the Dark Arts.
Ginny shuddered at the memory. She was not going to let that ruin her mood.
As she packed her trunk there was a knock at the door.
"Come in." Ginny called. The door creaked open and a bundle of bushy brown hair peered in.
"Hermione, hi!" Ginny smiled.
"Hello Gin. You just started packing? I packed ages ago." Hermione shook her head. She let out a laugh. Hermione would be coming with her to Hogwarts. She had missed out her final year and she apparently felt 'incomplete' without giving her N.E.W.T. exams. But Hermione would be Hermione. What could be done about that?
"Tell me again why Harry and Ron are not going?" Ginny asked. Ron probably was not going because his lazy arse just could not handle it, but Ginny had no idea what Harry's reasons were.
"Ron isn't going because…well…you know how Ron is. Harry isn't going because he wanted to start his Auror training right away. And being Harry Potter, he doesn't need to pass his N.W.E.T.'s to get the job." Hermione smiled proudly. She had always talked about Harry like he was her younger brother, and all his achievements were something she should be proud of.
Ginny smiled at Hermione.
"Good point." She said.
"Now let me help you with that. At the rate you're packing, we'll be lucky to get to the muggle station by morning." Hermione sat on the ground and helped Ginny fold her clothes. Ginny laughed and went back to packing.
"I can't wait." Hermione said out of the blue, about fifteen minutes later. They were almost done packing. "Soon, we'll be on the Hogwarts express, with no worries about anything worse than zits or bad hair days. It'll be just you and me for once."
Ginny let out a sigh and rest her head against the wall behind her. Hermione would of course be excited. She had spent most of her years with Harry and Ron, meaning no time for girl talk and most of the time worrying about Voldemort.
"I can't wait either." Ginny smiled brightly. They were finally done packing and she was getting really tired. The sun was going down and the sky was a beautiful color of violet. She stifled a yawn.
"I can see you're getting tired. We should have our rest for tomorrow. I'll leave you alone with your bed." Hermione said, getting up off the floor. Ginny laughed. Hermione walked towards the door and pulled it open. Just before she stepped outside she turned around to look at Ginny.
"Gin, are you going to come down for dinner?" Hermione asked.
"Nope, I think I'll just go straight to sleep." Ginny said getting up and taking out her night gown. Hermione nodded as though this was expected of Ginny and went downstairs. Ginny could not help but notice that there had been a knowing glint in Hermione's eyes. She waved it off. She was too tired to think.
Ginny changed into her nightgown. She was so tired she did not even bother to brush her teeth. She just flopped on her bed and fell asleep almost five minutes later. She felt at ease. It was just her and her dreams. Nothing in the world would disturb her now…
"Ginny! Wake up!" someone was shaking her, really hard. She pushed the hand away.
"Ginny! Wake up! Do you want to miss the train?" Hermione's voice sounded distant. The words suddenly hit her. She shot up and jumped out of bed.
"Crap! What time is it?" Ginny asked, looking for the clothes she had left out for her to change into.
"Oh relax! It's only six. But I knew if I didn't wake you now, you would never wake up." Hermione giggled. Ginny looked at her with a horrified expression.
"You mean you woke me up this early for nothing?" Ginny exclaimed.
"Oh do not be ridiculous! It's not for nothing." Hermione reassured her. "This is our last day with Harry and Ron. We're going out for butterbear. They are waiting downstairs."
Ginny threw herself towards her bed but Hermione caught her and shifted her backwards.
"Ginny, please just get ready. And make yourself look…" Hermione examined Ginny from head to toe
"Presentable?" Ginny suggested.
"Yes." Hermione laughed out. Ginny smiled weakly and started to walk out her bedroom. She went down the stairs and into the bathroom. She almost fell to the ground. She was so tired. Even though she had slept at nine, which was much earlier than her usual time, she just was not a morning person. She had taken off her night gown and was about to step into the shower, when she remembered that she had left her clothes upstairs. Hermione had said that Ron and Harry were waiting downstairs, meaning the kitchen or the living room. It was safe to go outside if she hurried up the stairs, Ginny thought. She wrapped a white towel – surprisingly comfortable – around herself and peered out the bathroom door. No one was there. She stepped out and started to rush upstairs. She was going up the last flight of stairs when - bang – she had hit her head hard on someone's chest. It felt as hard as marble. Who in the world could have so much muscle? She was stumbling backwards and a firm grip caught her arm. Her question was answered the minute her head shot up. She found a pair of – surprisingly amused – green eyes staring at her. She froze. Her cheeks were burning. They probably matched her hair.
Harry was trying to hide his laughter but Ginny could see it in his eyes. She had no idea what to say or do. She should have just run upstairs by now but she was so numb she could not move. She found herself grinning at him nervously. Finally he spoke.
"You okay?" was all he could manage to say without laughing.
"Uh…" Ginny was speechless. It was natural she would be. She was standing in a towel in front of a guy she had known her whole life and he just so happened to be her brother's best mate.
Harry looked like he could not hold it in anymore. He let out a chuckle.
"You should go." He said. She could hear the amusement in his voice. Then he went downstairs. She ran up to her room and shut the door. She let out a small laugh. Then she sighed, put her fingers to her temple as if to put her head back into place. She went over to her empty closet and took out the only outfit left in there. She had left them out especially for today. She hurried back down, without anymore encounters with anyone and shut herself in the bathroom. If standing in front of Harry in a towel had not wakened her, a nice cool shower definitely had. When she was done she dried herself up and changed into old blue jeans and a yellow sweater. Yellow always complimented her hair; therefore it was her favorite color. She looked into the mirror to fix her hair. She used her wand to add flicks at the end of each layer. When she was done she found a rather impressive reflection staring back at her.
"Finally, you're out of the shower. You take forever." Ron complained as Ginny walked into the kitchen. He was like Ginny. Not a morning person, only he got a hell lot crankier. She made a face at Ron. He did the most childish thing and stuck his tongue out at her. She could not help but giggle.
"Can we leave now?" Hermione asked impatiently.
They all stepped into the fireplace, using floo powder.
"The Three Broomsticks!" Hermione called out, loud and clear, and then she was being swallowed by green flames. Ron went in after her.
Right before Harry was caught in the midst of green flames, Ginny saw a spark in his eyes. Then he was gone too.
Ginny stayed in the Kitchen for a moment. Her thoughts lingered down the line and back to Fred's funeral. How stupid had she been back then? She had not even had the guts to stand near Harry. She had missed her own brother's funeral for him. It had been very petty of her. She felt ashamed. But then she thought of the past year overall. Her tears had turned into anger, even after Harry had confessed about his true feelings. When he had confessed that he hadn't felt a spark. But soon Ginny had even cooled down. Harry and she were close once again. But they were nowhere near as close as they had been. But it did not bother Ginny anymore. She knew she could live without him. There were so many other people out there for her. She suddenly felt proud of herself. Fred's funeral had been nothing, she told herself. It had been her time of weakness; the time where she went back to being the eleven year old girl who could not breathe around Harry Potter. But things were different now.
But even as she stepped into the fireplace, she had a childish feeling of joy when she thought about the fact that Harry had been standing here. Harry had seen her in nothing but a towel and it had amused him.
She mentally slapped herself. What the hell are you thinking? She said to herself. She shook her head miserably. She could carry on with pretences, but she knew that her façade would eventually start to chip off. She shoved any thought about still loving Harry out of her mind. She did not. She would not – she could not – do that to herself. Not again.
She took a handful of floo powder and threw it onto the ground beneath her and cried, "The Three Broom Sticks!"
Then she was spinning round fast, in a ripple of green flames surrounding her in a gyrate manner. Then she was in a small café. The smell of fresh butterbear welcomed her. She spotted Hermione at a table and three empty chairs around it. Ginny occupied a seat.
"Where are they?" Ginny asked gesturing towards the empty seats.
"I made them do something productive and go get some money from Gringotts. Can you believe they came here with empty pockets, so that they didn't have to pay? As if I would pay for them!" Hermione, being her normal exaggerative self, looked annoyed and outraged.
Ginny sighed, "Boys will be boys." She said, with a helpless expression.
Sure enough Ron and Harry returned with a small leather pouch. It had eight sickles in it, two for each of them.
Hermione gave the boys a dirty look. Ron rolled his eyes at her. They may be dating now, but that did not change their usual disagreements. Ron flopped onto a chair next to Hermione, leaving Harry to a seat next to Ginny.
"It's mostly Harry's money. You know him. Won't let you pay even if you were the richest wizard on earth." Ron said looking at Harry. Harry rolled his eyes and just when he was about to retort, Madame Rosmerta came to the table. They all looked up at her.
"What can I get you kids?" she asked joyfully. She knew all of them very well. Ginny used to come here when she got bored just to help Rosmerta out, and even earned a few Knuts in the process. They all ordered a butterbear. Rosmerta jot it down on the note pad she was holding.
"Alright then, Four Butterbears coming right up!" Rosmerta smiled and walked away. The four of them started to converse. Small little things like quidditch, what classes they were going to take and when they would come to visit during Christmas and Easter.
"Tell me again why you don't just apparate from here to Hogwarts. In fact you could even walk." Ron said. Hermione started to fume at this.
"Oh honestly Ronald, How many times over the past year have I told you? You can't apparate in or out of Hogwarts grounds!" Hermione exclaimed.
"Alright, alright, relax." Ron said half laughing. Hermione was still annoyed but Ginny could see she was holding back a smile. No matter how stupid or dim witted Ron made himself look around Hermione, she loved him. She always would. And Ron would love her. Ginny was Happy that her brother and her greatest friend made each other happy. But she was looking forward to the day she would meet someone who could make her that happy. Ginny had finished her butterbear and was staring down at the empty mug. She hadn't said much the entire time. She did not know what it was but she just was not feeling so social at the moment, which was strange because she was what most people would call 'The Social Butterfly'.
"I'll be right back." She said in a robotic voice. She did not know what had gotten into her, but something at seeing the love between Hermione and her brother had jealousy erupting in her chest. She was walking. She did not know where, but she was just walking. She left the pub from the back door. She just kept walking and thinking. And then she realized why she was walking away. She realized who she was walking away from. She shook her head, disappointed in herself. When would she stop fantasizing and truly move on. He did not want her. What was the point in holding on to something that was pushing her away? She had to let go.
But it was not as easy as everyone made it sound. Letting go was, in fact, the hardest part of loving something. Someday, you would have to let go. Just like Fred. He was gone. Now they had to let go.
But when you let go of something it is never truly gone. Ginny still felt Fred's presence when she would go to visit him. She would talk to him. Tell him about her day. Tell him about how much she missed him.
She tried to hold back the tears coming to her eyes now. She succeeded. Suddenly she heard footsteps behind her. She turned around.
"Hey there, gorgeous." Brian Welling's perfect face was staring at her. His blue eyes had a naughty spark in them. Brian was the heart throb and heart breaker at Hogwarts. Ginny did not like him one bit.
He ruffled his dark brown hair and winked at her.
"You busy? We could hang out a bit before we get back to school. You know freshen up a bit more…" he was getting closer to her. Ginny let out a laugh.
"I have better things to do with my time." She threw him a nasty look and started to walk away, but he caught her hand and turned her towards him. Their noses were an inch apart.
"You know when you're mad your eye's narrow and your nose crinkles up a little bit? It looks sexy." He told her. He was pressing her against him. She tried to pull away from him, but his hands were gripped too tightly around her waist.
"Get-the hell-away-from me!" Ginny struggled for release, but he just pulled her closer. His hand slid down her hip and onto her bum. She tried to get away from him, kicking him on the shin, but it was like he was made of metal.
"Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing?" someone called from behind Brian. Next thing Ginny knew, Brian was being pulled away from her. She stumbled a few steps back and then looked up to find that her savior was none other than Harry.
"Don't try to mess with my friends." Harry said calm but firmly. He was holding Brian by the collar. Brian nodded. Harry let go of him and he ran away before Ginny could call him anything insulting.
"Thanks." Ginny breathed.
"No problem. But you know, I – or anyone else – won't be there the next time something like that happens." he said, looking at her with his eyebrows raised.
"Oh don't worry, I can handle myself. I think we both know I'm not the average damsel in distress." Ginny said, waving a hand. Harry let out a laugh and nodded.
"You should probably get inside. Hermione is waiting for you. You're train will be leaving in an hour."
He gestured Ginny towards the pub.
"Ginny, I really think we should get going." Hermione said getting up from her seat as Harry and Ginny approached the table. Hermione hung her bag on her shoulder.
"Shall we apparate then?" Harry asked. Hermione nodded.
Kings Cross station materialized around Ginny.
"Your mother is on platform nine and three quarters. She had our luggage with her." Hermione said, appearing out of thin air. They were standing in an old gap between two walls. Muggles could not see this gap.
"Okay. So tell me how we are supposed to go through that brick wall without a trolley to protect us?" Ginny asked nervously.
Hermione seemed unsure of this herself.
"Uh… let's just… walk." Hermione said. Ginny started to walk casually towards the wall between platforms nine and ten. She disappeared onto the other side, Hermione right behind her. She grinned at seeing all the familiar faces and the scarlet red train. She missed being here.
Harry and Ron came in from the wall behind them. Ginny spotted her mother a short distance away.
"There's mum!" Ginny pointed in Molly's direction. Hermione and Ginny went towards her.
"Oh there you are, dears. Your luggage has been loaded onto the train, don't you worry." Molly said sweetly.
Ginny spotted George. She winced. She still was not used to seeing him with only one ear. That was most probably because he never came out of his room anymore. No more jokes, no more fun… nothing. She went up and hugged him. Surprisingly he hugged her back. Fred and George had always been – and still remain – her favorite brothers.
"I love you." She told him in his ear. He probably already knew but she just felt the need to say it. George was not the type to express his feelings and that's why it stunned Ginny when she heard him whisper, "I love you too."
Ginny pulled away from him to look him in the eye.
"And if you tell a soul I said that Ginny I'll…" he did not finish his sentence, but he merely smiled. It was his first smile. Ginny smiled back brightly and hugged him again.
She turned around to look for Hermione and saw her snogging Ron. She felt a pang of jealousy. Then she felt guilt. Why should she be jealous? There was nothing to be jealous about. She could live a perfectly happy life without a boyfriend to hug her and kiss her, write to her every day, and tell her he misses her. No. she did not need it.
Hermione and Ginny boarded the train. They ran to the window closest to Molly.
"Bye !" Hermione called out.
"Bye mum!" Ginny called out after her.
'Good bye and Good luck sweethearts!" Molly blew them both a kiss.
Just before the train gathered speed, Ginny noticed Harry smiling at her in the corner. When she caught his eye, she could have sworn he had blushed. She smiled at him and he waved, right before he disapparated.
"Shall we go find a compartment?" Hermione asked. Ginny did not hear her at first. She was too preoccupied by the fact that she had just caught Harry staring at her without her knowledge.
"Ginny?" Hermione said, following her gaze, but Harry was long gone.
"Huh? Oh-oh yeah sure…"
They found a compartment at the end of the train. It had a big window, and the view was amazing.
"I can't believe this is going to be our last year at Hogwarts." Hermione sighed.
"It'll be your last year, not mine." Ginny corrected her. She slumped onto the seat.
"Oh but don't you know?" Hermione looked at her. Obviously Ginny was missing some serious information.
"Know what?" Ginny asked curiously.
"Well the sixth years that were at Hogwarts during the war are going to be taking on both the N.E.W.T. syllabus and the sixth year syllabus. Only the essential parts of it anyway." Hermione told her.
"What?" Ginny exclaimed. "We have to follow two syllabuses? How will we ever manage?" Ginny groaned.
"Oh don't worry. Only the very little bit of the sixth year syllabus will be coming. Most of it will be N.E.W.T." Hermione reassured her.
"How come I did not know this?" Ginny asked.
"You should pay more attention." Hermione laughed out.
Ginny sighed. "Is there anything else I should know about?"
"Well, Professor. McGonagall has decided to make this year much more…eventful." Hermione said.
"Eventful?" Ginny asked, bemused.
"Yeah, you know, to raise the spirits. Everyone is so devastated because of the war; Professor thought it would be a good idea. She says there are going to be Dances and Balls and all sorts of exciting things."
Ginny lifted an eyebrow. "How do you know all this?"
"Oh I met her only a few days back. We had a nice chat." Hermione smiled.
Ginny rolled her eyes. "Leave it to you to have a 'nice chat' with a teacher outside of school."
Hermione laughed and looked out the window.
They sat in silence for several moments when Hermione asked, "So what's the deal with you and Harry?"
This question caught Ginny completely off guard.
"Sorry?" she asked, bewildered.
"Oh do not do that! I know that there is something." She said, looking Ginny straight in the eye. Her eyes looked determined. Ginny knew she would not drop this until she got a satisfactory answer to her question.
"Okay, why don't you tell me how you got to that conclusion?" Ginny asked, trying to stay calm.
"Well over the past year I can't help but notice that after your encounter with a deadly, bloodsucking beast that Harry has been over protective of you. Also, you never say much when the four of us are together and Harry and you hardly talk anymore. It's like you're still mad at him for what happened," Hermione raised a finger to silence Ginny, "And yesterday night, when I asked you to come down for dinner you wouldn't, because Harry was there –"
"Whoa, whoa I had no idea that Harry was downstairs last night." Ginny cut in.
"Oh Ginny you don't have to lie to me!" Hermione cried.
'I am not lying." Ginny pressed.
Hermione sighed. "Well, whatever I have picked up between you two, it just can't be put together. It makes no sense what so ever."
That's because you don't know the whole story. Ginny thought.
They did not speak the rest of the way. Finally, at around eight PM, the train came to a halt.
They all started to get off the bus. Ginny left without even waiting for Hermione. She felt a bit guilty for that.
As she walked down the train to the first door out she bumped into someone.
"Christian!" Ginny cried. The boy with light brown hair and sky blue eyes looked down at her.
"Ginny?" he gasped. She flung her arms around him and hugged him with all her might.
Christian had been Ginny's best friend since her second year. She had not realized how much she had really missed him until then. They let go of each other and Ginny looked up at him. He was handsome.
"Fancy finding a carriage?" he asked her. Ginny nodded, smiling widely. He laughed – she probably looked funny - and they both stepped out of the train and onto the familiar Hogsmead station.
They walked towards the line of carriages that would take them up to Hogwarts. They found an empty carriage to sit in.
"So Gin, how has life been treating you so far?" He asked.
"It's been fair. But, of course, it's not enough. It's never enough." She sighed.
"That's because it's not everything. And we always want everything don't we." He smiled at her. Ginny found truth in his words. She returned the smile.
"How about you?" she asked again after a moment of silence.
"Well, it certainly is fair. Fair, but not enough." He said.
Being best friends did not mean they talked all the time. It was just each other's presence that comforted them. They only talked when they were in the mood, and Ginny and Christian had a special gift of sensing each other's mood from a mile away.
So they sat in silence. Christian had probably guessed that something was bothering Ginny.
It was Hermione. The conversation, or argument, whatever you would call it, in the compartment had pissed Ginny off a bit.
They finally reached the Hogwarts castle. It towered over them like a King's Castle rather than a Magic School.
Memories of the war were flashing back to her. Memories of Remus and Tonks lying dead on the floor next to…Fred…all came back. And the worst memory was seeing Harry's limp body in Hagrid's hands, having to feel the fear and horror that she would never see him again. Regret that she never told him what was in her heart.
She winced. Christian seemed to have noticed something was wrong because he had placed his arm around her shoulder to comfort her.
They got off the carriage and started towards the castle.
"Hey Gin, listen, I have to go take care of something so I'll just meet up with you at the feast, okay?" Christian asked her. Ginny nodded and let him move towards east of the castle.
She was walking towards the main gates when, out of thin air, muscular arms gripped her tightly around her waist. She was being pulled. Someone's hands were on her mouth. Next thing she knew she had been dragged into an abandoned outside corridor. She struggled to get out of the firm grip, but she was nowhere near as strong.
Finally she was let go. But then he grabbed her again and shoved her against the wall. She found herself staring into the eyes of Brian Welling. Fear and anger erupted inside of her.
"Get the fuck away from me!" she tried to shove him away but he only pulled her closer.
"I don't know why you rejected me. I don't get rejected. But I won't worry about this time. Your boyfriend won't be here to save you."
Brian's lips smacked against Ginny. She let out a noise like an angry cat. This time he had gone too far.
She literally slapped his face away. It had made quite the sound. Ginny felt proud, even though her hand was tingling with pain.
Brian looked up at her and stumbled a few steps backwards. "Bitch." Was all he managed to say before he hastily stumbled off.
"Ginny?" Ginny heard Hermione's voice from down the hall. Ginny turned around to see her running towards Ginny. "What happened? Was Brian messing with you? When you didn't show up at the feast I got so worried -"
"Whoa! I missed the feast?" Had it really taken that long?
"Oh you didn't miss much. Professor McGonagall couldn't give a speech like Dumbledore's if her life depended on it." Hermione looked up at Ginny with a glint in her eyes. They both burst into laughter.
Hermione sighed. "Ginny, I'm really sorry! I shouldn't have stuck my nose in your business. I tend to get nosey and -"
"Hermione," Ginny cut in "You can ask me anything and I'll give you a truthful answer. Same goes for this. There is nothing between me and Harry." They were walking towards the Gryffindor Tower.
"I'm sorry I got on your case about that. It's just that, you're one of my dearest friends and I feel like you would tell me anything and trust me with anything. But that's not my decision to make." Hermione frowned.
"But I do trust you with anything Hermione. Like I said, ask me anything and I'll give you a truthful answer." Ginny elbowed Hermione playfully.
"Ha-ha, okay then tell me, is it true that you don't like honey?" Hermione asked. She actually seemed interested.
Ginny laughed. "Yes its true." She admitted.
"What! How can you not like honey?" Hermione looked bewildered.
Ginny laughed again. They were in the common room now. They each flopped onto a seat on the couch. The common room was empty. Most people were either sleeping or still downstairs.
Hermione sighed. "Ginny?" she asked nervously.
"Yes?"
"I have one more question. If you answer it, I promise I will never bring it up again." Hermione looked hesitant.
'What is it?" Ginny asked suspiciously.
"Um…" Hermione breathed. Her voice was shaking.
"What is it Hermione?" Ginny asked once more.
"Do you…Do you still love Harry?" she asked hastily. Ginny was caught off guard for the fourth time that day. She stared at Hermione blankly.
What could she possibly say? She had not asked herself that question in a year. She was not sure of the answer. She just said what her heart commanded her to. Her heart was boss.
"Yes." She breathed. She had never even admitted the words to herself. It felt good to say them out loud. It was the first step to letting go and moving on.
"Ginny…I promise you. This is going to be the best year of our lives." Hermione smiled.
Ginny could not hear her properly. She was busy talking to herself.
I love Harry Potter, I love Harry Potter, and I love Harry Potter.
Admitting it… It was the first step to letting go of it.
