Chapter 2: A Furry Little Problem
"For your homework this week, you are going to be working with the rest of your tables. Each group will be given a different magical beast with a high danger level to write thirteen inches on, to be turned in on Friday." Professor Ochstenburke, of Defense Against the Dark Arts expertise, pulled a piece of parchment out of his robes and began reading off tables and beasts.
The Marauders looked at each other gleefully from different sides of the table. Normally professors had the common sense to split them up, but ol' Burkey was a bit lacking in that department.
"Misters and Misses Evans, MacMillan, Scamander, and Finch will be working on Quadropeds. Smith, Wood, McIntire and Littleton will be doing Acromantula." He droned on and on, and to be honest, Remus was the only Marauder paying attention at this point.
All of their ears perked up, however, when he recited, "…Misters Black, Potter, Lupin and Pettigrew will write about werewolves…"
Remus groaned, slouching in his chair and closing his eyes. Peter flushed excitedly. James and Sirius, however, laughed out loud and exchanged high-fives, much to the confusion of the rest of the class.
It was going to be a long week.
.:*:.
"So, what do we know about werewolves?" Peter asked innocently, sitting in the Gryffindor common room with the rest of the Marauders. "I've set up a Quick-Quotes Quill."
"We know that they are only 'high danger level' during the full moon." Remus began, sounding miffed.
"Well, they're blonde, in their fifth year, and about 5'6." Sirius rattled off, ticking his fingers.
"They can be know-it-alls." James added.
"And sort of bossy sometimes." Sirius frowned.
"They've got a fetish for Hufflepuffs who happen to be named Nymphadora Tonks." James announced, making a not-so-subtle allusion to another girl in their year.
"Or maybe that's just a thing for bad girls." Sirius suggested. They looked at each other, and simultaneously said, "Nah."
"Not this werewolf, you dunces, werewolves in general!" Remus cried, exasperated, a hint of a blush on his cheeks.
This, of course, was ignored.
"They've got devilishly handsome friends named James Potter and Sirius Black." James said wryly.
"Oi!" Sirius cried, offended. He punched James on the arm. "Why do you come first?"
"Just going by degrees of attractiveness," James remarked, then instinctively dodged Sirius's second punch.
"You're all stark raving mad." Remus stated plainly, running his fingers through his hair and closing his eyes, as if he was trying to restrain himself.
"Oh, you know you love it." Sirius replied, entirely unfazed.
"Not even you are immune to our charms." James said matter-of-factly.
"And Merlin knows there's plenty of them!" Sirius chuckled, earning himself a well-deserved Silencing Charm from Remus.
A long week, indeed.
.:*:.
"Now, boys," a puzzled sounding Professor Ochstenburke began, "I have to admit I was a tad confused by your essay."
"What about it, Professor?" Remus asked, concerned. Meanwhile, James and Sirius exchanged worried glances.
He pulled a piece of parchment from his robes. Remus recognized it as their essay.
"Well, right here for instance." He jabbed a finger at one spot on the page. "It says they're know-it-alls."
Remus felt a sense of impending doom.
The professor, oblivious, continued, saying "…there's a bit about Hufflepuffs…and here it says something about 'degrees of attractiveness'. I know you're an intelligent group, now, and I don't want to think you did this on purpose. But I am rather befuddled."
He looked up at them expectantly.
Remus sat there, stunned, and turned to face the rest of the Marauders wordlessly.
"Merlin…"Peter began, sounding terrified.
James and Sirius, as was to be expected, thought it a brilliant joke. They were fighting to smother the uproarious laughter fighting to come out, though the huge gulps of air they were taking and the way they were holding their sides gave off more of a 'clinically ill' vibe than the desired 'politely curious'.
"You-" Sirius panted, "got-the-wrong-paper!" With that, he collapsed into laughter, earning himself many strange looks from his peers.
"That was the Quick Quotes copy!" James guffawed.
Remus gaped at them, hardly able to believe what he was hearing. His hand wandered to his robes pocket, and pulled out a rumpled piece of paper titled, 'The Truth About Werewolves'. He silently passed it to a befuddled Professor Ochstenburke, saying simply, "That never happened."
Oh, Remus… you should know by now that any semblance of sanity will be torn to shreds by James and Sirius!
But now I feel bad. I haven't updated MM in so long, but… well, to be honest, it got boring. I'll get on that soon, though, I promise!
