O.K., I totally have a really, really good excuse for why I took so long on a second chapter, I'm very lazy... very lazy... but anyway, to continue this epic saga...

The staff sat around the table again. Another year. Another batch of students to torture and teach, possibly in that order. All was the same as it always was. Except Snape was wearing a necklace of Hawaiian flowers, slowly fiddling with it in his hands, doing everything within his power to make it look like he wasn't desperately trying to make it as subtly obvious to all the people around the table, that he'd been on away to for the Summer Holidays. That he'd been having fun and totally having a happy and charming life outside of making students miserable at school.

Snape continued fiddling with his Hawaiian flowers as the staff sat in silence for a while before dropping his "I had fun in Hawaii!" key chain, trying to pick it up as quickly possible while making sure as many people saw his evidence of happiness as he hid it away from all the people he wanted to not see the thing he showed them.

Before Snape could continue trying to not show them his souvenirs, Dumbledore finally entered. He entered slowly, taking time to show off a nice new pair of socks he was wearing. McGonagall didn't know anything about the situation beyond that Dumbledore had finally gotten new socks. This however was enough for her to mentally remind herself of the anti-racist slurs charm, the fire protection spell, the burn-it-with-fire curse and the emergency fake suicide potion she had in her hidden pocket. Just in case.

Dumbledore cleared his throat and began:

"I here by bring this meeting to order. First meeting point, spending, we had a notable increase in law suits over the Summer, thanks to a variety of rather winy Slytherin students who didn't know how to loose well."

"You decorated the Halls in Slytherin Colours, announced they had scored the most and said they were the winner. And than you gave Gryffindor just enough points to beat Slytherin for reasons that hardly any of the students knew about." Snape bitterly remarked.

"And the Slytherins were quite winey about it." Dumbledore reminded.

"They were 10 years old." Snape replied.

"They lost a third of their class last year, if they haven't manned up yet, than there's nothing I can do. Anyway, if this truly does trouble a Slytherin student, may they begin their descent to the Dark Side, make allegiance with the Dark Lord, and end up killing me in the Astronomy Tower 5 years from now."

The teachers all paused for a second before Dumbledore returned to his report:

"As such, for cost and infant mortality reducing measures, I have hired Gilderoy Lockhart as Defence Against the Dark Arts Teacher."

"You mean the useless Celebrity personality who is a blatant fraud?" Professor Flitwick asked.

"Yes. I'd like to see him get any of my students killed. Furthermore, Professor Snape, you're aware of the Horcrux finding expedition I hypothesised a few years back." Dumbledore asked.

"Yes."

"That's been cancelled also as part of cost and life saving measures."

"Oh, well, I suppose I don't need to travel anymore, what with having travelled to Hawaii already this year. And had lots of fun. Like beach activities. And other Hawaiian fun. In Hawaii. Which wasn't here. And involved me having lots of..." Snape reiterated, again, and again, and again just in case.

"We get it Severus. Sir, are you sure you don't want to go ahead with the Horcrux finding mission. You've already been made aware that Lord Voldemort isn't dead, and may one day rise again. Now is the best time to attack his greatest weakness, before he gains a physical body again. You said you had an idea where some might be." Professor McGonagall asked with exasperation.

"I'd like to Minerva. I'd really like to, but right now I'm far to busy looking at my brand new socks! Brand new socks that were bought for me by Professor Sprout!" Dumbledore declared.

McGonagall sighed. It made sense now. She'd figured there'd been something wrong when she had returned to Hogwarts to find that the former Hogwarts Laws of "Hufflepuff sucks.", "Any Hufflepuff found dead is considered a case of natural selection rather than actual death." and "Every third Friday of the Month is throw Devils Snare on a Hufflepuff and take pictures day!" had been reversed. She'd also noticed that despite the previously discussed budget and infant mortality cut-backs, Sprout would be getting a shipment of Newly Born Mandrakes. Apparently Dumbledore treated the fact that their screams were potentially fatal as only a minor set back, as he speculated that they'd probably need the Mandrakes to help create potions to deal with petrified students (on average 17 students were petrified a year at Minerva's last count) some time in the future. Sprout had also asked for more Hentai Tentacle plants for some reason. McGonagall had decided not to ask about that one.

"Well, that about covers it. I will conclude by saying Hufflepuff are quite awesome. Meeting adjourned." Dumbledore said, giving 5 up high to Professor Sprout to conclude the proceedings.

The rest of the teachers got up and made their way out, eager to apply the Hangover cure charm before the Lunch Period ended and Afternoon classes started. McGonagall though decided it would be best for one final talk with the Headmaster:

"Albus. I can't help but notice. The law suits weren't that bad this year in comparison to some. I don't think these cut backs are as necessary as you think." she explained.

"Actually, they are Minerva. I decided not to mention for fear of damaging morale, but the Sorting Hat has decided to start black mailing us. It turns out giving a Hat the ability to read minds, than make it spend the rest of the year on a shelf thinking of a 3 minute rhyme for the next year does not appease it much. It's threatening to give away secrets about Hogwarts I'd rather not be revealed while I'm still alive." Dumbledore explained, before adding, seeing McGonagall's apprehension. "Oh, never fear Minerva. The Nimbus 2000 has just had an expansion pack released, the Nimbus 2001, and they need someone to play the angry old man who isn't "with it" unlike a jive talking African American teen who shows off how great it is and how all the kids should buy it. They'll be paying ever so nicely."

"I suppose so. Wait? Nimbus 2001? How's that any different to the Nimbus 2000?" McGonagall asked, realising she had bought her nephew the Nimbus 2000 for his birthday only the other week.

"It's slightly faster and costs much more." The Professor explained, before leaving to go about his sock related business.

O.K., I will probably write two more chapters to this story, hopefully before the last film comes out, that's the optimistic aim, until than, enjoy and review please.

P.S: I would like to make clear that while some may interpret a joke in this chapter about Hufflepuff being awesome as an apology for the previous chapter where I frequently insulted Hufflepuff, this is not the case. In actual fact it was Professor Sprout giving Dumbledore the socks that meant that he lost motivation to go on his expedition to destroy the Horcruxes and prevent the Dark Lord's return. In actual fact, the next time you remember the death of Dobby or Fred/ George, remember that it was because of Hufflepuff. HUFFLEPUFF KILLED DOBBY DAMN IT! DAMN THEM FOR SUCKING SO MUCH!