Disclaimer-i do not own junjou romantica egoist or the characters

Hiroki had been thinking over the events of that night, those words were haunting him. After all these years of building it up....he had allowed a stupid brat to tear it down. That was what he had come to the conclusion of, it was Nowaki's fault....he was his stupid weakness he was the only one who could break through his armor....he was the one who did this.

But.....it wasn't as if staying away from Nowaki was an option...after all...they lived together. Besides....even if he did break up with him...he knew how it would end....for he knew that he would somehow en up just getting swept away again. Another thing that pissed him off...before Nowaki no one was able to sweep him away in such a way....not even Akihiko. It was only Nowaki who could do this to him...to sweep him away in such a manner as this. Maybe....he could just....avoid him a little.....maybe he could build up a resistance to Nowaki. Maybe then....he could build up his armor once more....without having to tear down his relationship.

"Hiro-san" Nowaki asked. Hiroki looked over at the blue eyed male, snapping out of his train of thought. "Are you alright....you've had the most distant expression on your face for the past 30 minutes" he said.

"I'm fine, I'm just thinking is all" he said. He wasn't lying he was thinking.....but...how could he build up a resistance to his one weakness. How could he ever resist Nowaki.

/What the hell!? D-did I really just say that....what am I doing I sound like a girl or something, ghh this is exactly what he does to me/

This had to stop, no matter what it took.....he would find a way to overcome this.

.............

That day Hiroki was sitting at his desk in his conjoined office. Currently typing on the computer his eyes glued to the screen.

"Eh, Kamijou what's wrong with you today" Miyagi asked turning his chair around.

"Nothings wrong with me professor" Hiroki replied calmly. Miyagi raised a skeptical brow at him.

"It doesn't seem like that, come on you can tell me, does it have to do with that boyfriend of yours again?" he asked. Hiroki let out an agitated breath he was getting annoyed.

"My life is none of your business professor, so I'd appreciate it if you'd stop sticking your nose into it" he said. Miyagi sighed.

"Defensive are we, you know its not good to keep all your emotions bottled up like that...sooner or later you'll have to let them out one way or another" he said putting out his cigarette in the ash tray.

"Thank you for your concern but I'm just fine handling myself professor" Hiroki replied and continued typing.

"You sure...?" Miyagi asked.

"Yes, I'm completely sure, I'm perfectly fine handling myself and my emotions" he said his typing slowing unconsciously. "Besides.....I'm 28...I don't need to cry about my problems like some little kid" he said. Miyagi watched him with a frown on his face.

There was silence in the office and Miyagi had dropped the subject.

/Yeah, its not good to bottle up your emotions...and yet I've done it my entire life.....I can't let them see me....I can't let them see....I have to hide it....I have to hide myself.....I have to hide from all of them/

He had to. Hiroki sat there staring at the keyboard his eyes glazed over, a look of sorrow and pain lurking beneath them. He sat there a few moments before realizing that he had stopped typing, he looked at his fingers frozen on the keyboard. Upon realizing this he began to type once more but it was evident that his pace had still slowed. For now he was deep in thought.....trying to figure out how to resist this....trying to resist his only one true weakness....the cause of this problem..

Nowaki.

TBC

okay second chap i like writing this story so far...I really wish you guys woudl review....and read it PLEASE IM BEGGIN YA IM SO BORED